Next Runs
Heavenly Harriettes
Cairns Royal Bike Hash
Bendy's Virgin Run with Perfect Vision - run 2020
Edge Hill was the venue for Bendy's virgin run, along with Legless as co-hare. Bendy was well prepared with maps for those who required them or had the eyes/glasses to see them! She began to tell us which streets we were running along but was told "we will follow trail" which we did along a very clearly marked trail with very neat and tidy arrows and large pieces of toilet paper festooning the bushes.
Back at the circle Bouncer was called on to give the walkers report - this proved a bit difficult as Bouncer had left late, missed the split of walkers and runners and ended up on the runners trail. She got to the top of a hill and decided "blow this" and went for a little walk all by herself.
Supa gave a runners report and between them the hares ended up with a respectable score.
Charges were laid, returnees and visitors welcomed and DQ tried VERY hard to find the owner of two blue towels and a pair of bathers. Nobody was owning up!
Nosh was served, a lovely selection of dishes and Bendy's virgin run came to an end.

Swampy at the Beach - run 2019
Quite a few hashers managed to get to south Port Douglas AKA Palm Cove for Swampy's run. It is only short and marked on chalk, flour and toilet paper is what the hare told us. Off we went, it was not a very long walk but it took us through parts of Palm Cove we had not seen before and eventually bought us out the other end of the esplanade. A nice walk/run back amongst those dining in the cool of the evening.
Circle convened, charges were laid, visitors welcomed and the raffle was drawn. Nosh was devoured and Swampy thanked us all for making the effort to go "right out of town" On on to next week - the virgin run for Bendy.

Sodonme's Sod of a Run - run 2018
A group of 25 keen hashers met at the newly renovated home of Sodonme for what promised to be a tough run/walk. We wandered out the back of Edge Hill and up a couple of steep inclines and then the fun started, off into the shiggy the walkers and runners went. This is where this unfit hasher left the pack and went for a quiet walk with a number of other hashers, who for reasons best kept to themselves, had decided not to attempt the climb up towards the Arrow Trails.
Back at the circle and Slag gave a walkers report and explained why he had last been seen clinging to a tree and calling for help! Knee Trembler gave a runners report, he had enjoyed the run immensely. Can't remember the scores but it ended up pretty respectable.
Sodonme was down downed in the usual manner with the exception of the ice chair which had made an appearance. Head Shot and Chuckachunda from Japan were welcomed as visitors along with Nostraldumbarse and Xtractit from Cooktown.
Returnees were Choppa and MOFL who sampled the ice chair, held firmly in place by Extractit and Choppa.
Koty was next to be charged for saying, no less than a thousand times, "Are we there yet! This is bullsh..!"
KT was charged for the most amazing somersault as he came down the Red Arrow and there was a group down down for all those who did not attempt the run. Pythagoras was charged for some misdemeanor and so was Choppa and Bill was charged for actually helping Sodonme with the run.
Mole made use of the ice to ease her aching back!!
Koty presented the Wank.. shirt to Sodonme who promptly sat on the ice and then gave a demonstration of different poses wearing the shirt.
  A great run for those who made it and a good night for all. On on to next week's run.

Helmet & Prickle - run 2017

AGPU 2015 - run 2016

Mole @ Kewarra - run 2015

Australia Day - run 2014

W-a-W in Manunda - run 2013

Great fun was had being shat on from the tree-tops by Hash-eagles. Even though two  Hashers were absent because of Hash-throat, [a condition well known in Hash circles due to not taking the tops off beer bottles before imbibing], a couple of dozen Hashers turned up at WAIT-A-WHILE’s place.  The scribe is a lot confused as there were several simultaneous meetings going on the floor at the same time, with most transgressors, mainly the Harriettes, claiming privilege to ignore the GM who was mostly trying to shit on them from great heights while monotonously shouting something that sounded like, “HASHQUIET!!!”. Don’t know what it means, it didn’t seem to have any effect. The scribe also didn’t have a pencil. Someone said it was a good run and that he enjoyed the drink-stop halfway as he was trying to give up drinking at any rate, and gave it a 10/10, or was it a 3½/10? Hard to hear with the noise. Even the raffle was run during a HASHQUIET!!!, with someone winning the wine again.  Someone was charged for not telling someone that the only rule at Hash was that there were no rules. Couldn’t hear the punch line but it was full-filling as was the response when we took it all in.  Pommies were charged for complaining in the best pommy manner that “We can’t keep up”. Someone was charged for being late for Hash again.  We were privileged in having our RA with us for the evening instead of being on his usual media tart run. Doyens of industry are hard to come by. Some Harriettes said that a good man is hard to find. Others said that a hard man is good to find. I’m confused.  We were also privileged to see the three most handsome Hashers gathered in the same place during the downers.
WAIT a WHILES’s soup was licked clean, as was the bread and rice. You could tell it was a good meeting as no-one wanted to go home, and we sat around listening to the usual Hash-stories, mostly bragging about past runs and glories.   

Spread 'em @ Yorkey's - run 2012  

TP & Retard - run 2011
49ers wasp run - run 2010

49ER set the run and gave the instructions on how to follow the run and dozens of eager Hashers were off. About a quarter of them took a short cut and were home and had eaten most of the nibbles before the main actors turned up. Another <Hashquiet> circle and we were all allowed to sit down because PRO wasn’t present, although KNEETREMBLER did a PRO look-alike and sat well out of the circle. MASTERBATES was late and missed the run, but gave it a 33, the same as the day’s temperature. SUPERSTALK gave it a 3, and said it was well marked, but took 21 off because 8 people were stung by bities leaving 15/12.  Visitors were MASTERBATES, PYTHAGORARSE, HELMET and PRICKLE. MASTERBATES and PYTHAGORARSE were charged because both of them were present and who was looking after the weather while they were at Hash? 49ER for organising kids to throw rocks at a wasp’s nest so that 8 Hashers got stung as they ran past. These 8 were very brave and didn’t complain and didn’t ask for first aid at the drink stop. Maybe the single malt whiskey was enough. RETARD for impersonating rain along the trail. KNEETREMBLER for being a PRO look-alike and did we really want 2 of them?. SPREADEM and NOT YET for something or other. PYTHAGORARSE for making  MASTERBATES work until 7pm on a Hash night. 49ER was howled down when she revealed that the run was marked with MOANA and that some Hashers went down the Trinity leg of the run, and had her charge reversed. The cl/sh/it song was howled down by all the Harriettes and Retard actually blushed because he at last realised what it was all about. KOTY for spending Xmas in front of the TV stroking a pussy. HELMET for turning up in a convertible, but he deflected it to the registered owner, PRICKLE. DANCING QUEEN tried to give away a Hash shirt but finished up keeping it because she didn’t wear it on the run. BOUNCER and TUTTI FRUTTI for being chatterboxes.
ROYAL T chose the mystery raffle prize instead of the wine and got a large bag of shredded paper, a valuable resource with the rain closing in, while DQ and KOTY took the wine.
LOSTI’s run on NYE will start at the Barrier Reef Hotel at 6pm, and we are to text him for the following watering holes.  

Not Yet and No Knickers Holey Run - run 2009

Well it was a balmy evening in Lavender Street, Mooroobool when the group of Hashers set off running/walking up and down streets, in and out of drains……you know, the usual hazards of the constant hasher!       Unfortunately this scribe arrived a little late, did not have pen or paper to record the comments but feel that some mention should be made about the Hole-i-ness of the Circle.

Our drinkmaster moved the table of charge drinks out into the back yard because it was a little cooler in the night air out there, but lo!.......Kotex discovered, very nearly to her detriment, a large hole in the middle of the Circle that was very neatly concealed by long grass.   As each transgressor was called out for a ‘down, down’ they had to adroitly avoid falling into said hole and so many calls of , “I’ll have to sue for damages.” And “Mind the hole” were to be heard until someone enquired from our fellow hashing law person, “What could we do?”  to which he replied that perhaps a class action would be the way to go.   Well, we all know there is no class in hash, and our Hare advised that she would not be held responsible for any injuries as she warned everyone to be careful………..and indeed Not Yet raced over and grabbed a few coconuts from a nearby tree to fill in the hole, and so the laughter continued.   Nosh was lashings of ham and salad with Christmas cake to follow and it was On, On wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and reminding that the next run was at Royal T’s palace on the Esplanade.    

Spock & Bouncer - run 2008

The usual cast of dozens gathered at 31 Southern Street for Spock’s run and Bouncer’s food Another <Hasquiet> evening when everyone decided to have their own meetings on the side. Molè alternated with ᴙetard’s whistle to keepus quiet, but it didn’t help. I haven’t had so much fun since Uncle Fred fell down the well. After the usual caterwauling, we set off down the drive, and milled around until some runner showed us the way. We wised up after a while and waited for Spock to show us the way with raised eyebrows and secret hand signals and the like, wot they use on Vulcan apparently.
A great run irrespective of what the rude buggers said; up and down hills, shiggy, dams, earthworks, bush, and steep hills. We left our fingerprints etched into the trees on the way down the bank. He misjudged the flash flooding, however, so we didn’t get our feet wet. Spock made the mistake of warning us about the dodgy bridge timbers on the trail, so all the Hashers along with Koty went that way. It was only the un-Hash-like efforts of Slag and  Royal T that kept her firmly on the rails. The run received high marks from the scorers, probably just so they could wheedle an extra helping of nosh from Bouncer.
It was good to see a few returnees in Chopper, who used the excuse of not being able to drink on the job in Nigeria to explain why he looked so fit and healthy;  Big Baz, who pretended to have a limp and so couldn’t run; and Swampy, who gave us tales of the wild from Africa, with lionesses coughing and leopards strolling through just outside the tent.
The RA was in full regalia and in full fright when he named Loren and Michelle. They went into shock but recovered when they learnt that they could shorten the names to Bendy and Pokey.
Kegmaster ᴙetard excelled again with old songs that nobody knew. Those Harriettes who didn’t swoon were seen to buckle at the knees when they were afforded a rare view of prime manhood when all the grey beards were called out in front for a down-down. Defeatus was caught up in the moment and offered to strip but had no takers.
The Hare-raiser’s board needs offers for the 5th and 12th of January, otherwise we are all in Hashers’ Heaven at Cairns HHH.   

DQ at the Palace - run 2007
Christmas Fun - run 2006
Legless in Whitfield - run 2005

Dozens of <Hashquiet> Hashers gathered at a park in McManus Street for a <Hashquiet> meeting for Legless’ run. 49er was the Legless lookalike to describe the run and we Hashers may not be the brightest but even we didn’t believe that the run was marked with rubbish and old car tyres and dead cats and stuff. <Hashquiet>
set the mood by pronouncing that run No. 2015 would be in 2015, and it all continued downhill after that with his description of his mythical run .  <Hashquiet. Something about dangerous swamps, Jim Beam, all up hill, Mole attacked by a dog, all unbelievable but a generous 1.3275/10 score. Fiddler followed for the walkers and spoke of cement, short cuts, cement, jumped fence, cement, tame, cement, and caused howls with a 5/10. <Hashquiet> there were no virgins left, and Michelle and Loren were returnees.

Both Not Yet and McShit were charged for being gentlemen and un-hashmanlike by helping  Harriettes over a fence and offering a hand up a hill.
Royal T
with his inimitable shufflewas charged for trying to run past Pro  .
49er for also trying to compete with Pro on the walk but losing when she tried to jump a fence.
The RA Superstalk for failing to notice Retard’s new shoes on 4 different runs.
Royal T
for yelling out Royal T instead of 49er on the run. He said he had trouble telling them apart sometimes.
No Knickers
for repeatedly being told the first rule in Hash was that there was no rule in hash when she went on about something or other.
for getting wet between the legs when she was sitting at the table.
for declaring her love of Royal T, but it turned out he is her uncle.
Manu Manu was a late returnee and had to down-down to the Shit-on-yer-song. Choirmaster Retard loves all the old songs as well as the favourites.
<Hashquiet> Dancing Queen and Michelle had to front for continuously , or was it continually, talking in the circle. Some observant Hasher yelled out that Michelle could be our next tittygirl.
In the Harriettes announcements 49er gave us a conundrum – apparrently  Harriettes love to bounce balls but no ball-wearers are allowed at their runs.
won theRun-of-the-month and looked great in the pixie hat and vest.
Legless put on the vegetarian food, and apparently chooks are vegetation the same as cows.


Royal T - run 2004

Weed & Mole @ Home - run 2003

Teepee's Turn - run 2002

Farcanal at Greenslopes - run 2001

Royal T - RUN 1999 (or almost 2000)

The keen hashers arrived at “Serpents Hostel” (backpackers) at the north end of Lake Street  and were told to order our meal from the quite comprehensive main menu. The hare gave instruction that the run started across the road (for reasons he couldn’t explain) and was marked with floured arrows!    Off we trooped and must say that the trail was very well marked going north across the field next to the tennis courts and then  over the highway to enter the back roads of North Cairns – or as Super said in his run report “About 5 blocks west, 10 blocks south, 5 blocks east and then on home for 10 blocks”.
We all gathered at the covered concrete block near the tennis courts, much to the annoyance of the usual inhabitants who shouted comments from the dark park across the road.  The Hare provided a very nice cheese fondue with dipping bread on forks, and a dip and biscuits and then the circle began.

Returnees and visitors:    Royal T and 49er back from France, Boon from Tvle/Mackay
And can’t remember who else!

Run reports:   well you’ve already read Super Stalk’s but Defoetis had to be called out to give his version as he had arrived late and had to search around for the pack.  Can’t recall who gave the walker’s report, but I know we all quite enjoyed the walk.

Several hashers were called out for arriving late, Wait-a-while for continually talking in the circle and being late, a few miscreants for not actually wearing their 2000 Run yellow shirts – with protests from Tutti as she did have hers ready to don on entry to the dinner, as instructed in the pre-notes, however, as usual, she was completely ignored.    Spreadem offered a joke but could hardly get to the punch line for laughing herself and it was such a weak joke that we all had a laugh……something about Bach I believe!

Our GM reminded people to advise Hash Cash if they are attending the Christmas ‘do’ on the 5th December, mainly for catering purposes.   We all then adjourned back to the Hostel for a drink and a meal………..some who had ordered the more exotic dishes had to wait a lot longer for their dinner but overall it was very good.  Prickle Magnet and Helmet received recognition for their 200th run, which was achieved recently.

On, on to Farcanel’s run at our favourite Greenslopes address next Monday.
Cheers,  Tutti

Dunno & Snyce @ Redlynch - run 1998

Slag in Edmonton - run 1997

Pro at Little Mulgrave - run 1996

Helmet at His Place - run 1995

Legless’s Romp in the Swamp - run 1994
A very familiar start to the run in the Cairns Parklands and the Greenslopes St venue was where some of the finest of Cairns athletic geriatric meat asssembled. A Greeting to the pack was conducted by the GM after Dunno tried to get a hurry-up on proceedings. Legless said something about wetness and shortness which the pack gave a derisive sneer and then set off south into the Saltwater Creek catchment and yes… the weather was fine and mild… The runners got up a bit of pace (if you can call it pace!) and ventured through streets and canals to eventually arrive at the drinkstop for some reward. The walkers shunned this reward due to some geographical embarrassment and the kind Legless engaged in a mobile drinkstop to satisfy at least some of their desires… an on home through the cemetery for some spooky times before the pavilion.We gathered at the Keg which Knee Trembler had most kindly provided until the GM called for order… This is where it got a little hazy for me and I can only present the dementia filtered highlights as I lacked the pen and paper… Of course there was the hare’s drink… and Knee Trembler gave the run a 6 but quickly offered a discount to 5 so as not to lose face…  and Graduate wasn’t so generous… and there was a stop talking Dunno and Kotex … and a trawl for some paraphernalia… Slag had to run to the Car to get something for Kotex who implored him to run a red light so she could see the wallopers… but she blamed Groper…  Boom’n’Bust then gave a spruik for Mackay’s celebration run and Spreadem had a charge for “Gav” for his new shorts… Tutti Fruiti featured for something and Defeatus had some sort of whiney charge …  and Pro had a lie down… and Dancing Queen went on and on about her regalness… I think that covers everything.

There were, of course, … many more charges and the raffles were won by those slimey bastards Gav and Pythagorarse… eventually nosh was called and despite  a threat of carrot fritters, Legless provided an excellent repast of Curried Nanagui (Thanks Slag) and funky rice. The pack filtered off. … another excellent hash night…and thanks to the Hash Gods for  top run, great venue and good hash company.

On On Pythagorarse

Spreadem at Yorkey's run 1993

Retard's run - run 1992

Fiddler loses the runners - run 1991

A huge crowd of Hashers and onlookers gathered at FIDDLER’s Beach-house for Run 1991, [spelt backwards 1991], and proceeded to have the usual ribald fun interspersed with downright unfunny insults. DUNNO gave his usual encouraging diatribe against the Hare’s run for a 2/10, while GRADUATE supported her fellow Harriette for a 6/10. The scribe is related to the Hare, but I thought it was a brilliant run, as she managed to lose all the Runners at the same time, no mean feat. The drink stop was to dream for, but the On-Home run along the beach was cancelled mainly because the sand was covered by high tide. 
Visitor MISSING LINK made up for the lack of virgins, and the Returnees were FIDDLER and SUPER STORK, who apparently returns every week. NOMI was charged for walking 2 steps into the scrub before shrieking, retreating back to the bitumen, and short-cutting home. Half the Hashers were charged for something or other, with KOTY, 49ER, GRADUATE, NOMI, SLAG all in a line, and ЯETARD while leading into the Shit-on-ya ballad, got wet with over-shoulder beer, and had a hissy-fit when his sanitised mugs were not returned to the wash bucket. FIDDLER was charged for wearing DANCING QUEEN’s tight tights, however, she said they are all the rage in Paris this year. NOMI was charged for collecting TUTTI FRUTTI with one of her sweeping Swiss gestures. KOTY for why did she ever need to eat oysters. Another set had GOV, SPREADUM, FIDDLER, TUTTI, NOMI, and DANCING QUEEN all in a row, resulting in DQ throwing her unfinished beer over GOV for a change. ЯETARD had another hissy fit and gave an unwashed glass to NOMI. PRO for wearing grey coloured underpants that are the same colour as his exposed rear when he insists on changing clothes in front of us all; lucky we are used to it; he didn’t want to show his appendage when politely requested though. KNEE TREMBLER won the Run-of-the-Month by a standing ovation and ЯETARD received a kcuF-ouY song for his birthday.
The GRAND MATTRESS wants more trail markings so we don’t lost the runners in future.  ЯETARD did some promotion for the Run of the Year being run by himself next week. SUPER STORK was at his entertaining best in his RA role and named Alan who does some creative accounting for his mate KNEE TREMBLER. Apparently the new bathroom, the Philippines trips, and the Viagra are all tax deductable and all written off. So “WRITE OFF” it is. ROYAL T is in line for Scribe of the Year for volunteering to take the notes twice, which never happens, but lost votes with his joke. SLAG and SPREADUM told Kiwi racist jokes, one ordering Fush und Chups in a hardware store, and the other singing I’ll never find another ewe.
FIDDLER’s nosh was great as usual, and surprised us all with tipsy trifle. We all had a good time but went home.


Kneetrembler's - run 1990

The usual merry band of Hashers gathered at KNEE TREMBLER’S place for the 1990 run of fun and insults. The Grand Mattress tried to control the group with a Hashquiet, but lost it when ᴚETARD produced a new noisemaker, a triangle, which when invited to shove it up his elemental orifice wouldn’t go past the first bend. In the circle, NOT YET gave the walk a 5/10.  PRO was more vocal and gave it a 2.5 out of 3.75, and led us into a long rambling description of TP doing a NOMI along the track, but he did give her a 3 for it.

The Hare KNEE TREMBLER did a sterling job downing the urinal jug full of beer, as did the returnees SUPER STORK, FARKINELL, and ALAN THE VIRGIN, unrecognisable with his trimmed beard. ᴚETARD has conducted a world-wide search for new rude songs which has lost nothing in the translation from Finnish or whatever. GOV did an excellent job as a look-a-like when SPREADEM was charged for rolling up her rude shit-shirt so no one could see it on the run. TUTTI FRUTTI was charged for crossing the road against a red light. ROYAL T for leaving his raffle prize of a bottle of wine at the last venue.[He found out when he couldn’t find it for his corn flakes in the morning]. KOTY for something about a dog again. MOLE” charged ᴚETARD for being late back with the keys of the keg, even though NOT YET carried and pushed him to get back in time. SYMTHE for calling NOT ON, even though there were 14 arrows on trail, including 3 up a pole. PRO seems to have a problem with public urination and brought up about TEE PEE doing her bit again!!! What’s that all about???. DANCING QUEEN complained about KNEE TREMBLER not providing a male stripper in police uniform like last time. PRO said a youngish lady was disgusted when he changed into Hash clothes on the footpath outside, but he then charged TEE PEE for having a look. What is that about??? . “Who farted?” said KOTY about now, confusing it with a Hashquiet.

 MOLE” wondered how TUTTI FRUTTI always seemed to be the front runner while others did the work finding the trail.  SPREADUM complained about not enough potato chips. [scribe notes indecipherable here but all too long at any rate as all scribed during the night, and it is now time for my morning ride in the dark, [on my bike]. LEGLESS congratulated us for not charging her at last, so she was given the shit-shirt to keep her happy. NOMI provided us with a new TITTI, and awarded it to Pro because he wore the last one out, as evidenced by him standing there squeezing the hell out of the new one in front of us all. ᴚETARD gave us the Roll back your foreskins song for the last DownDown of the night, but 49er said they would have trouble as they were all circumcised at any rate.

The food was excellent again. Hashers know how to cook, or their wives do.
On on Royal T

Tackle's Turn - run 1989
Great night - excellent nosh!!

Didn’t we just h ave our 2,000 th Run??? - run 1988

About 15 hashers gathered at Dancing Queen’s place (or is that palace) of residence and then set off up the hill and over the grassy knoll, then is was down, down, down the pathway.  This scribe cannot describe the rest of the run because 49er and myself decided to shortcut a little – oh, what a sin!   However other participants stated ‘lost the trail’,  ‘no markings’, etc.  Well, DQ said, “I did not set the run so can’t comment or be blamed for that.”    Evidently Kneetrembler had set the run the day before and did not turn up to actually run the trail – smart lad in this case!  Of course, Pro (who turned up late as usual) stated that there obviously wasn’t trail markings as he couldn’t find them or any of the rest of the pack…….amazing!

Visitors:  Lotus
Returnees:  Tackle, Mole and Tutti
Charges came thick and fast – to DQ for letting her ‘puss’ run wild (wot the!).   Slag charged Kotex for winning all the prizes at the recent fishing comp…….even though her only fish caught was a minnow!  Spreadem was charged for employing Guv – pictured on facebook.  Some kiwis (invaders from across the ditch) were charged with something to do with netball!   Nommy was charged for her celery costume at Retards party, TP for being such a cute looking sailor-girl and Retard for his birthday – when the candles on the cake were lit up we nearly had to call the firebrigade!!!!
Graduate and Royal T were the ‘low profile’ charges.

Raffles were won by Royal T, DeepThroat, Lotus and Retard.
As you can see most of the charges had something to do with Retard’s birthday party, which was a lot of fun, if a bit previous as he really doesn’t turn 60 until the 30th!....that’s hashers for you!

On, on to Tackles next Monday…………cheers,  Tutti

Two Dogs Meet and Greet - run 1987

Helmet acting GM.
Reports: Runners 6/10. Walkers 4/10.  Points off as marks were not under street lights and the drink stop announcement “that’s all you bastards are gunna get”
Returnees: Deep Throat, Metro
Charges: Kotex for collecting garden ornaments, herpes, wheelbarrows and large green clamshells. Groper for trianing his canine friend to attack special people. Teepee, Nom de Plume, Graduate for creative hashing aka short cutting. Helmet for showing his jukebox not his nuts? Dancing Queen for non- athletics, applying nail polish is not creative hashing.
All orange shirts for too much orangness and a little too many lemons. Kotex again for collecting dead carcasses (shells) Nom de Plume for having a damp patch and wasting valuable alcoholic beverages all over her shirt.
Announcements: Cairns Amatuers Cup, September 13th meet 12:00 noon at front gates. Bring picnic and chair if you want.
Nosh: Fantastic roast and creamy pumpkin mash. 

Nom de Plume in Brinsmead - run 1986

It was a cold dark afternoon as a small number of Hashers met for Nom de Plume’s run at Samuel Christensen Park, the run was well set out and exceptionally well-marked.  Trail meandered around Brinsmead, as we went a little bit in one direction and then a little bit in the other direction, along a drain and up and down a hill before heading home.    

Spreadem, Dancing Queen and a certain hasher who shall remain nameless were charged for not completing the run, a number of orange people were charged… unsure who they were as they all looked the same and Spreadem showed her courage and determination by accepting the award  of Hash wanker.. right of Defeotus' back.

Lovely nosh and a show (strip tease by Retard ) made it an enjoyable night.

Graduate at Trinity Beach - run 1985

With quite a few runners away at Inter Hash our ranks were somewhat depleted for Graduate’s run, at a new venue, Oyster Court in Trinity Beach.
Off round the suburb we went, the trail was marked in blue and pink chalk and little bits of purple crepe paper!!  Makes a change from boring white chalk and white shredded paper but a little more difficult to see on a dark night!
A welcome drink stop appeared out of the darkness and then the walkers missed trail having come past a huge house which looked like a very nice hash venue!!  Don’t think the owners would think that way though!!  Us walkers wandered around the parkland and then opted to walk back along the road.  We met Pro for the second time, who then went running into the darkness apparently to meet up with Legless for a romp on the beach – or something!!
Back at the circle and returnee Groper and visitor Deep Throat were welcomed. 
A run report was given but as the walkers lost trail the GM decreed that we had not done the trail and therefore could not give a report – two reports from runners instead!
The hare was down-downed, charges were laid including a charge for Layback who tried to headbutt Retard's car. The wan… shirt was awarded to Retard for some reason or other and the raffle was won.
Fabulous nosh!
On on

CHOPPER’S   ROYAL   RUN - run 1920

As some of our loyal hashers are away NashHashing at the moment, it was a smaller than usual, but keen, group who turned up for Chopper’s run.  
As he had only just arrived back Royal T set the run on “shredded paper and chalk”.  All went well until the pack arrived at a short but steep creek crossing which foiled one of the older harriettes for a while but never fear, the gallant Helmet and Rubber Dick bravely assisted her across.
The pack meandered across grassy fields, out onto streets. Past Super Stork’s house where they were accosted by an unknown hasher/neighbour telling the walkers to start running or else……….!
Down the dreaded steep grassy hill we carefully walked and along the very dark footpaths…………..not a lot of lighting in Freshwater……….and finally on home.     An uneventful walk but good company.

Of course, as usual at a Chopper run, there were special girls serving the drinks, and of course several of Chopper’s pals from the army made up a rowdy circle that Defeotus had trouble controlling.    Of course we welcomed returning hashers, Chopper, Legless and few others whose names escape me, but it was lovely to see our Nommy safely back from her travels.  A couple of awards were handed out…Prickle gave the ‘titty’ to Rubber Dick and Swampy awarded the large rubber prick to Defeotus…..just because!   We all enjoyed the tasty nosh, even without the BBQ, there was plenty to eat, and it’s On On to next week’s run at Royal T’s abode on the Esplanade.

Full Moon Run - run 1919 - offical prelube to Brisbane Nash Hash

Supa Stalk's Stratford Saunter - run 1918
It was a hot, humid that greeted the pack as they made their way to Supa's abode in the upper class suburb of Stratford. Off round Stratford we ran or walked following Supa's neat chalk arrows. Through Jalarra Park, over bridges, round corners and back home without a drink stop! Not long enough for a drink stop Supa had told us!!
It Takes Three to Make Me Cum was welcomed all the way from Germany via the USA. Charges for PDA's - as usual!!
Other charges from the pack quickly followed. Kotex gave the longest explanation I have ever heard as to why Prickle Magnet was being awarded the T.. I will not even begin to remember how it went but it ended up with "Prickle it's you" and Prickle saying "I knew that would happen" Rubber D then tried to outdo Kotex with a long explanation which included "Vertigo" and I gather had something to do with the colour co-ordination of Retard & Knee Trembler's clothing. They were awarded the wooden "speaking stick" Swampy got the P.... of the Week because she wanted it. BB, once again failed to bring back the W..... shirt!!
Great nosh followed the circle - a big THANK YOU to Mrs Supa Stalk!!


MOFL Meanders Again - run 1917


Mctaf's Magical Miles - run 1916

The GM was ecstatic, not one ....  not 2 .....  but THREE virgins all turned up for McTaf’s run from the old faithful BBQ area on Greenslopes Street.
“Don’t lose the Virgins” was the GM’s cry as pack took off down Greenslopes Street.  But it was more like don’t leave the runners behind as Kelly and her partner (whose name escapes me) took off running at a brisk pace.  Maggie, the other virgin opted to walk and was soon chatting with the other walkers.
Up and around the streets of Edge Hill we went, with the RA doing a reasonable job of keeping most of the rain at bay.  The walking pack dwindled as usual as some decided to make their own way back.  Trail was faithfully followed by five walkers who were surprised to find McTaf with a drink stop just a few metres to the end of the run!!
Back in the circle the virgins were duly down-downed.
Kelly & her partner (must ask his name) were charged for PDA
Pro was charged for impersonating a gentleman during the run on Easter Monday.
Yellow hash shirts were celebrated.
Returnees were returned and I am sure other charges were made

The t.t was passed on by 49er to Retard who had a lovely time with it.
BB forgot the bring the wa…r shirt so keeps it for another week

The raffle was drawn and won and lovely nosh devoured
On on to next week

Weed’s Prohibition Run - run 1915

Weed’s run from the Pirate Ship turned out to be “The Hash with no Beer”  As we returned from the run security turned up and reminded us that it was illegal to drink on the Esplanade – who ever heard of Hash without a drink!!
The circle was quickly convened in the darkness, away from the security cameras, down downs were quickly taken.  Helmet gave a run report “more checks than the Commonwealth Bank” and gave a low score made even lower because of the lack of amber fluid.
We had visitors and virgins (well according to the GM we did!)
Spreadum returned and was charged because all security are the same aren’t they??
Pro was charged for perving - so what's new??
The only award available was the w.…r shirt which Defeotus awarded to BB for something about spilling cold water on his feet – of all things – poor didums!!!
Raffles were drawn and won – wonderful nosh was eaten and so ended our Hash with no Beer.


Running with Retard - run 1914


Begorrah - It's CC's St Patricks Day Run - run 1913

DQ & Koty in the Himalayas - run 1912

A trek across the Himalayas??  No just a hash run in the great heights of Celerywood Close. In the drizzly rain we trekked up hills, great and small, including one that ended in a FT.  Some went the wrong way, some decided not to go at all and some eventually caught up with the rest at the welcome drink stop.
Pro was charged with not being satisfied with the length
The RA was charged for rain on trail but he denied all knowledge or responsibility.
DQ for causing Crunchy to fall down a hole which caused Crunchy to put a safety rock down the dangerous hole.
49er wanted to charge BB but could not remember what for!
Koty charged Twisty for finding there was too much length
Defeotus charged Rubber D and Twisty for PDAs but McTaf became a Twisty look-a-like
Teepee charged McTaf for being choir master and not knowing a hash tune
Nomi was charged for not “going” on trail
Fiddler & Crunchy for not doing the FT
Defeotus charged for colourful yarning on trail

Rubber D liked the talking stick (aka stolen Innisfail memorabilia) so much he kept it for another week.
Royal T forget to wear, adorn, write on or sweat on the W*an*er shirt so he has it for another week.

McTaf sang a hashy Birthday to Darwin Don & Dodo.

Great nosh in the verandah of a lovely house – thanks DQ, Koty and Tony (who owns the place)

49er's & Royal T's royal runaround - run 1911

AGPU - run 1910

Helmet - run 1909

These are the notes just as the scribe gave them to me - if you were there you will understand it all if you weren't you missed a great night!!
Visitors: Moose, Coh Man Goo - Fort Worth Texas - "sh**ty Trail - 4 1/2 - 2 1/2 Yehaw trail with a shitty song to go with it.
Charges: 49er for wearing her clothes back to front, BB for being a media whore and Moosey for being a media slut, InnOut for being a Big Girls Blouse, Retard for cumming late
Awards: Wanker Shirt from Teepee who made us choose between Helmet, KT, Royal T as a Pro look alike Royal T won.
T.t of the week to Mole for not being bovererd to cook but Nomy got it cos it is "orrible"
Donger to Retard who played all night with it
Texan received Anya German Tourist shorts and Moosey given Cairns memorabilia.
AGPU - Kneee Tremblers next Monday

Hashing with Handbrake - run 1908
We arrived at Handbrake's abode to find she is well organised for a Hash run. Adam - de Nephew has made the rissoles and all the salads and Phukit has set the run, all Handbrake had to do was get home from work!!
Off in the depths of Trinity Beach we trundled, crossing a creek at one time with some of us needing a helping hand from Rubber Dick. Back to Handbrake's and the cool of the pool for most. Since our last run here Handbrake and Phukit have made major alterations to the house resulting in a area for all Hash runs!!!
Defeotus took charge of the circle and many charges were taken. Pro tried to convince us that being lawyer was an honourable profession - "load of bullshit" song sung to this. He went on to tell us how the shirt he so cleverly left behind at Teepee's was delivered to his place of work, addressed to Prostitute. Apparently his receptionist redirected it to Teepee's abode - more B.. S... (Moral of the story don't leave hash property behind) The shirt, which had been wrapped in plastic for a week, resulting in a very ripe odour, was presented to Teepee
Farewell to Mutiny and Bounty before the pack tucked into the feast prepared by Adam - lovely nosh!
On on 'till next week

Teepee's Trundle - run 1907

Manu Manu's Meander - run 1906


Australia Day Hash - run 1905

Weed's Wet Wanderings - run 1904

There was no getting away from was going to be a wet run and wet night...or was it? The R.A admitted he couldn’t make up his mind whether the weather should be wet or dry or should it just be dense with cloud or heavy with rain or no rain . Should the R.A keep it hot and sticky or sunny then damp.
What is a hare to do then? Should he use flour, chalk, toilet paper, gyprock, plasterpaste, surveyors tape. Should he preset the trail or live hare it or even bother?
In fact, dear hashers, all of the above. Not only was the R.A indecisive but so was the hare.
The pack left the weed and mole house and went up? Poolwood road. The pack somehow ended up on the beach and trailed through the crocodile infested estuary and crossed the knee-deep danger zone. Then trail wended through scrub but some of the pack came out at exactly where weed and moles house was so they went back to the keg. “we’re getting wet they cried from under their umbrellas so off they went on keg only to be found in the pool when the rest of the pack returned.
Sometime later after going through scrub, creek, drains, slop, wallaby poo, shiggy, soggy sand the pack returned on keg.
Charges; The R.A for being indecisive....Weed for following the RA`s lead
..............Weed for misuse of the Australian flag{especially as it’s so close to Australia day too}
...............Betty for getting make up in her eyes and making her cry.
...............Returnee Pendinger for scaring elegantly aging harriettes
...............Damien for being a virgin
................Teepee for doing some sort of crime and Losty for keeping a low profile. One would have thought T.P would have earnt that charge but noooo.
...............Swampy passed the TIT award to Phuket because the tit reminded swampy of a birthday cake with a wee candle on top. Phuket and Defeotus were sung a rowdy Hashy birfday tune. Pro passed the wanker shirt to Losty because he could.
It was wet and soggy and scribes notes got wet so that’s all there is except that as usual nosh was fab and pavlova birthday cake was delish... on on

Running with Defeotus - run 1903

Nomi's Return - run 1902

The pack turned up to the first run of the year to Samuel Christiansen park in brinsmead where Nommy had cleverly arranged the first run of the year all the while travelling the alpy climes of was a top run as well . it earnt a score of 6/10.quite a score to top . so... the pack walked into Goomboora park and went off into the scrub. theres a great scrubby trail that runs by the creek which we went in. some of us all the way up to our bits..... Out of the park and into canefeilds and trailing around the fields and all the way around a headland.miles away into the canepaddocks and the backblocks beyond.the trail followed canelines and train lines until some of the pack went into the wild wilds of the really wild scrub. across more creek and finnally back to the park. the rain loomed but our R.A kept things at bay.
back at the on afters, there was a lovely ambience to the scene as nommy had lit candles and cut up fruit( not to put on the candles) eat.
Circle began and we welcomed Nommy back from climbing the climy slopes of switzerland. Pro was a returneeas was Masterbates , via Townsville.
CHARGES....Teepee and Betty charged Retard for leading them off trail and causing TeePee to suffer severly scraped underarms having to wade through the underarm high spear grass.bettys legs were all scratched too.
Teepee charged losty for giving her jolly new year greetings again after he had only seen her the day before.
Twisty charged Rubberdick for being a grumpy B#st#rd because he has given up smoking. We thought it was just because he was with Twisty.
Fiddler was charged with keeping a low profile. helmet charged someone for something and there was another charge somewhere.Teepee charged Losty for making her campervan smell really horrid by leaving his D.N.A smelling shirt in her mobile sink.Losty awarded himself the said smelly shirt being horrid to Teepee.
thats about all really,.. it was too dark to take notes so there is stufff left out i expect we think Kotex still has the double donger.and we will have to award the run of the month garment at next weeks run.ON ON

Weed on Christmas Eve - run 1899

A Dam Good Run - Cairns HHH 1900th Run

Crunchy's Crazy Clamber - run 1894

A smaller pack turned up to Tom Murray park on Hardy Road. It was indeed a sweaty, night but the pack continued on trail. As T.P said in her run report......we went up, then up more, then more up and still some more up. The going up culminated in a rather nice view for the drink stop and crunchies mates place up the top of Mayflower Street.
After all the going up the run had to come down .and so it went downhill in more ways than one. There was no homeward trail but the pack came on home along hardy road. Pro complained there was no swimming pool to cool off in but the pack told him to shut up and he did.There was a returnee for the evening in the guise of Chopper.
Our stand in GM Defeotus held court. It transpired that all the pack were charged at some point so the circle became the front and the front became the circle. We all sang jolly songs and had a jolly good time, after that we ate great nosh of ham off the bone and various salads. We packed up early to all go home and cool off .a top night.Sadly for cairns hash our great new harriette Test Tube has to return her ship to Darwin...we will catch up again no doubt....So long and thanks for alll the fish..........ONON

The Solar Eclipse Spectacular - Run 1893
A combined Trinity & Cairns HHH Run from Clifton Beach on the Tuesday night and then while some hashers went home (or to hotels) some stayed and slept in tents, cars and back of trucks until very early morning when we assembled on the beach waiting for the eclipse to start. Had our chairs in a row sipping tea or coffee and watched the helicopter tracking back and forth - Channel Nine's Today Show host Karl and friends were on the southern end of Palm Cove - taking in the spectacle. There were thousands of people spread right along from the jetty and Palm Cove to out of sight along Clifton Beach. What a fabulous event, especially spectacular when "the world went dark" and created an eerie feeling. There were cameras and telescopes of all sizes and shapes in play.

Noway's Final Cairns Run - Run 1892
It was a very rowdy pack that turned up to noways soon to no longer be residence at Maurice street in Kewarra was a very busy night indeed as noway managed to put on a hash run, cook nosh, AND have a garage sale all on the same night.
There was a lovely virgin... who sat quietly at the back of proceedings and all sorts of rowdy participants.there were all sorts of charges and goings on but it was such a busy night that scribe had to remember it all by memory as there was no note was all packed and ready to go,anyway, a huge thankyou to Noway for cramming one last hurrah in before moving down south.....a great harriette and many a good night was enjoyed in Noways company...ON ON

Retards Ramblings - run 1891

The pack turned up at Freshwater swimming hole ready for a Retard trail. Yup,.... Retard by name..... It all went horribly wrong when various members of the pack forgot to pay attention to the chalk talk and Retards description of what the trail was marked on and what the marks meant. Most notably 49er and Royal T who were the last ones back and scribe means last.
Spinnefex returned, eventually as did Sister Screamer which was nice to see. Crunchie Crack returned after being away as did Tackle As far as the trail went ...yup, it went somewhere and it also went somewhere else as well as the runners had a really good long run. Mind you, what 49er was referring to when she was heard to squeal, ‘that was long` after being the last hasher to return with RoyalT. All sorts of frivolous things happened and lots of laughter and various charges but it was impossible to take notes as there was no light for scribe to write notes by. Losty got charged for having a birthday. Prickle Magnet was a stand in stunt double for something to do with Weed (poor prickle). Noway and Nommy were charged for leaving us to temporarily hash in Western Australia and Switzerland. Crunchie was charged for something too but inevitably 49er and RoyalT were charged for skulking back last. Lots of other happenings happened but as mentioned no illumination so scribes memory is a bit fuzzy lots of interesting things went on and all sorts of other stuff but scribe doesn’t remember. Crunchie was also charged for having new hair and Losty had new shoes. Goanna passed on the giant donger to Defeotus as it had something to do with snakes on the run and heavy breathing. Asthma perhaps. Delicious nosh of bangers and mash..yummo .....

Wait A While's Wanderings - run 1890

According to Kneetrembler this run was just so good and so clearly marked it was the best wait a while run he had been on for some the pack were leaving ,Supa exhorted the pack to be as rowdy and rabbly as possible as W.A.W reminded us of the trouble he got into with his neighbours 3 years previously.So we make a good job of it the pack were rowdier on their return. Trust a hash pack to do exactly as they are told.the trail went many places here and there but scribe had their eyes shut for the whole trail so scribe doesnt know where scribe went but scribe went somewhere there was trail that was good because Kneetrmbler said so.
Back at the ON ON the pack welcomed back from the dead runner Ingrid who had returned from Western Australia. So nice to have made all that effort. We welcomed Virgin Christine who left the snowy Alps of Switzerland just to run a Wait a while run and even Wawa’s neighbour Andy joined us. He was the nice neighbour not the moody one. Phuket returned Pull thru and Nogat are still here as is Justine. Royal.T kept a low profile which is surprising as he is 6foot 3 but new runner Chereyl kept an even lower profile by laying down. Sod on me returned as did Moley fom Mooloolaba.
Ass G.M Defeotus made Justine stand in beer wench but clearly she must have done well as our R.A made an appearance and gave Justine her new name. Being trapped in a metal container surrounded by lots of sea-men everyday warranted the name Test Tube.
Charges were bandied about.....Betty charged Nomy for being spied coming out of the back of W.W.W`s garage with virgin Andy (it’s a harriettes duty to test out the man virgins) ,ONE JUST DOESNT GET CAUGHT. Chereryl spied Losty trying to smother himself in aerogard which was actually WD40.
Dancing Queen caught Moley being a media tart. Pro made Betty a stand in for Manu Manu for some reason to do with Kena and tao.(money).
As usual a fun night and lots of laughs. ON ON

GCG at Greenslopes - run 1889

49er's Virgin Run - run 1888

It was great !!!! there were neat little arrows all round. The pack left the back gate of 49ers abode and straight out into a hidden park and a sizable one at that. The trail trailed around lots of hidden communal parks that cairns suburbs are known for. The trail wended in and out of more hidden parks and coming out onto various streets of leafy and hilly Bayview heights. We followed neatly placed arrows and ended up at a drinkstop on the way up to Barnes Street next to the water tanks. We made all sorts of discoveries on trail. I.E. new footpaths, doggy parks, play parks and great views. The runners ran extra trail while the walkers got back eventually. A very social circle and jolly pack enjoyed 49ers hospitality and yummy nosh
there was a good sized pack and we even had some Back from the Dead runners....welcome back NOGAT and PULLTHRU ...returnee Tadmore returned as did Tackle, which is good to see. Also returnee Innout was pleased to see us all again....ahh.. nice!
Fiddler and Farcanel returned and Noway returned with a new hairdo as did Nommy and Boopy. These things are important to know you know. Crunchy will return next week from attending important hash events down south.
Charges...... Dancing queen was dubbed dobbingqueen which is interesting as she was dairyqueen for the last few weeks. Pro was charged for having a fetish about Innout as he recalled tales of following innout all over the trail.
Defeotus tried to charge 49er for having what he thought was sparse trail but 49er somehow managed to reverse it. Dobbing queen charged the R.A for being a same song singer. Noway charged Gripit for no hash attire. Tooty was charged for getting Tackle and Nogat confused how odd as they look nothing like each other.. that’s hash for you......

Mole's Magnificent Smithfield Meander - run 1887
This was the best run all year, all decade in fact!! Weed outdid himself this time and set a magnificent run enjoyed by all. Mole`s nosh was superb and the world is at peace!!

Hashing at Pro's Place - run 1886

This run could have gone one of two ways.....Prostitutes pristine parade or....It was a s##t of a run...depending on your perspective.
One run report could have gone like this......downwards and onwards from prostitutes pristine property out at Gallet rd, Little Mulgrave. Past cane farms ,pristine creeks ,scrub, more creeks. through sneeky dells and hidden horse trails.Up beside charming properties and horses grazing gently in paddocks while showing the latest fashions in horse blankets.
ambling beside the flowing Little Mulgrave river while showcasing its pristine, glittering swirls and eddys.Trotting along moss laden paths while admiring the fantastical and fairy like formations of fabulously interesting fig tree vines and roots and down and up wending paths
OR.... it could have gone like this
There was poo everywhere. There was dry poo,wet poo,dead poo squashed poo,round poo ,flat poo.Blobs of poo,trails of poo and stood in poo.
The pack left Gallet Rd Little Mulgrave and even the back of the pack thoought they were ballbreaker runners coz the trail included left over bits of ballbreaker trail from nash hash 09.
Back from the dead unner Gripit gave the run report and said we could run and there were no snakes.
Dancing Queen,rechristened Dairy queen for the evening...well ..we were in Little Mulgrave territory, added that she saw some really good roots on trail. Pro must haveknown we had Japaese visitor Shiho along for the trail as he pulled out all the stops with the traiL. we even found some left over dead hashers lost and abandoned from the ballbreaker trail from Nash Hash 09.
Gay Cum Gargler was charged for sickly P.D.A.S with Mattea and planting himself face first in one of the creeks
Tooty was charged for turning up to a 5'oclock start hash at 6'oclock.
Manu Manu was back from the dead and was keg master under sufferance.
Betty and crunchy were charged for stealing giant seed pods from a p#nis tree and carrying them around with them
49 er gave away the w#nker shirt to Losty for being sore all over and in places she didnt want to know about.
Crunchy got thr Prick of the week because her seed pod was a lot smaller than Bettys.( from a smaller P#nis tree.)
The R.A made an appearance and promptly stole young Shiho for neferious means . returning to then name Nurse Mattea Takes it All and quiet Keith named Royal T being a prince like surname.
A top trail and a great way to end a long weekend. ON ON .....

Trinity Beach with Goanna - run 1885

The pack finally arrived at the northern end of Trinity Beach after all sorts of road hold ups and traffic jams. Goanna managed to find more great trail around Trinity Beach that the pack hadn’t had the chance to discover before. It was great. We went straight up the stairs from the beach and up still more to find ourselves on the very top of the cliffs behind the swanky holiday apartments. We went on into the scrub and beyond and to the packs delight discovered secret beaches and coves. What a top trail. We didn’t loose our visitor from Tokyo hash SUSUKINO POODLE. An interesting story about Tokyo sex workers and parading about like toy poodles helped explain our visitors name. It was great to meet our virgins Danelle via goanna and an English traveller Izzy via Wait a whiles backpacker resort.
Not a long trail but plenty more time for the circle.
plenty of charges.....Defeotus charged Weed for failing to take care of the precious hash mugs. Gay Cummy charged defeotus for taking so long to give the charge. Mattea returned,which is great as she is a speedy runner and the pack is getting a lot older ,some of us will need her nursing skills. Betty charged Poodle for lying by saying she was a slow runner when in fact she runs like a race horse and not a poodle.
Penny was charged for returning again but failing to bring R.H with him.
Wait a while was a stand in for the fellow hasher that Defeotus told the pack he came across....eeeew.
Koty was charged for something to do with bringing a mutt to hash and being helmets adopted daughter.....still more to do with living around the corner from MR.and Mrs G.M
awards were given out....Gay Cummywas still busy with the P.O.W double donger...hmmm.
49ER was was awarded the#anker shirt for not advertising the hash on the front and the back of her shirt. mind you she was told to stand with her back to the circle so she wouldnt get charged but did she listen..
Swampy was charged for her tremendous efforts preparing for the Thelma and Louise Expedition,
The heavenly Harriettes Run was run on Wednesday 26th and it was a delightful evening and top trail. thanx Moley!

Sister Screamer’s Virgin Run - run 1884

Complete with virgins visitors (very nice ones) returnees and hangers on.
Cream Puff via Adelaide “it was hot and it was a sh...t run” thus spoke Cream Puff – “the trail was too far apart and I’ve never heard of toilet paper” 0/10 said Cream Puff and his cohorts Little Dickus and Iron Knob. Visitor 12th Man kept a very low profile despite his very flashy Kingdom of Tonga hash shirt. Mastabates gave a walkers report. There were all sorts really. Mattea was a Virgin (she was very surprised) Alan returned and Gay Cummy did too.

Our GM was charged by a very astute Iron Knob because the GM pseudo RA thought Cream Puff was very good looking – Hash Rule No 1 -- p------s
GCG charged Goanna for taking shots of Inn Outs abs (six pack) and looking at them later.
Crunchy had the misfortune to spy Defeotus entering the “hurl of fame” for having a hurl on the trail. He was more concerned about losing his chewy.
Wrong Way attempted a jolly song but failed miserably. Defeotus was charged for missing his mummy and needing MOFL to look after his money on the run.
Scribe did the trail and it went around Woree and there was yellow chalk which Screamer had stolen from the kiddies at the play centre – so the little kiddies have no chalk to play with. What a meany but a great effort for a virgin run and only just having moved into her abode at City Waters.
Shash Hash did the Blue Arrow and dinner on Saturday night and the killed Losty and Koty who were absent tonight.
There was a plethora of raffles and Virgin Mattea won one. Wrong Way and MOFL are leaving us for 6 months – No!!
On on good hashers

KT's Drain Run - run 1883

A well turned out pack turned up at Kneetrembler's on Monday night. A few of us lost trail not mentioning any names of course, but we found our way back home anyway. Mole reminded the pack not to put their empties in the back of her car or she would shove them where the sun doesn't shine, that seemed to get the message across.
Pro gave the run report and commented on going up the scrub and down the drains or was it going down the scrub and up the drains. Did I hear right the score was related to the hill side 1.4
Kneetrembler did not let as down and as usual we had at least 2 virgins in the pack, one we almost lost on the trail, shame on us.
We had the odd returnee: Big Basa, No way back from her travels and supporting a new hair do, Screamer and the return of the sporn of Super, Gripit and Tadmore. With a visiting hasher from Tonga 12th man.
Koty agreed to be the beer wench for the night and yes the comment was made about her clean mugs!! Helmet was charged for commenting about her driving skills, a bit below the belt I thought and maybe next time he may have to walk to the venue.
Swampy was charged for being a media tart by getting her picture in the paper and Crunchy for calling the older ladies old ducks ( your time will come my girl)
Koty was presented the Wanker of the week shirt and MOFl had the run of the month for her great efforts with such a small pack.

Great nosh and a great night had by all
On On Prickle

Bumpa Stikher’s NOSH of the YEAR - run 1882

A motley crew arrived at Bumpa's only to be tempted to run up that ‘bloody hill that doesn’t go anywhere’. Well she did a good job on the runners as they were sucked in. The walkers were a bit smarter (as you know) and did not fall for it. Trail went in and around Earlville, some found trail, some lost trail, some found a drink stop, some lost a drink stop. There was trail, Not a lot and very faint – maybe it rained??
Any way, back at the circle there were visitors and returnees. Chopper and his lady Jit. Wrongway, back or the Aussie experience, Gay Cum Gargler, Manu Manu and a VIRGIN Andrew. We like Virgins! All duly charged. There were many other charges that this scribe can’t remember a week later so let’s get to the important part. The Nosh. Bumpa did a smorgasbord of exotic flavours to tantalise the taste buds. We were all so full that we couldn’t finish it off. Can you imagine that !! Hashers leaving such a wonderful array of delectable delights.
Well done Bumpa!! We’ll be back for more.
On On

Blue Moon Run - run 1881

Tackle's Timely Toddle - run 1880
Well, the ever popular Tackle returned after sojourns away. His trail did not disappoint. Not Yet queried weather anyone else found arrows on lamp posts like Losty did which was amazing 'cos Losty doesn't follow arrows. To Not Yet's surprise everybody else saw them too. It's got to be something to do with Not Yet's lack of height!! There was much talk about tip-toeing over train bridges and a 7km trail.
Virgins: Justine, Jung and Wade serenaded with ditties
Returnees: Far Canal, Tackle and Bumper Sticker.
Back from the Dead: Resurrected G.C.G.
Visitors: Cunucked Up and Lorraine. Much mirth was made of our Auckland visitors and a sheep named Stella. It was noted that Pro was Manopausal and spat the dummy.
TP charged Koty for squealing, Crunchy was also charged for squealing. GCG charged Defeotus for girly squealing. Goanna charged BB for swapping the bowls of sauce around, so the non-chilli one became the chilli one. Goanna's lips and bits were burning! Betty then charged Tackle because she caught him smirking and trying to hide his part in the bowl swapping affair. By this time Bumper Sticker and WAW finally got back from the trail. Much was made of this and the interesting shaped "talking stick" that Justine found herself wearing.
Teepee gave the giant POW to GCG as she hadn't met him before!
Farcanal finally returned with the long forgotten shirt with giant dongers on it. Helmet was charged for not realizing Farcanal was wearing it.
See Losty about a proposed Kuranda walk.

DQ's and Koty's White Rock Wonderland - run 1879

Night fell quickly once the pack began trail. Out of Monsoon and on up Forest Gardens Boulevard or Booyong or one of these inny outy streets. Onto the walking trail bike path, down into Tamarind Gardens, under the overpass and into the deepest depths of the back of Giffern Road. All the way down to the back paddocks and wallaby reserve. Just like the startled wallabies the pack's eyes stared into passing headlights, but no hashers succumbed to being flattened. Passing by pony clubs, footy clubs, horse clubs, soccer clubs and all sorts of hidden amenities.
Joffa was welcomed by the pack and Cassie was welcomed back. In-out was In Again but Moneyshot and Fetish were out. Not Yet, No Nickers, Pro all came back too.
Much discussion if Joffa was a virgin, a visitor, odd bod, male or alive or all of the above.
In-Out, Teepee and Prickle were all short so they kept each other company. DQ tried to give an observational charge about In-Out but it failed miserably.
Nomi was charged because she got into the drink-stop vehicle as did Tuttie. Noey lost her soul on the trail but Teepee was surprised Noey had a soul. Cassie was concerned for her safety so Koty was charged for putting her in peril. DQ was all over the giant donger like a rash.
Moley charged Supa for following Losty as was In-Out. Supa tried to convince the pack that he and In-out were actually running with the brains of the pack (Losty????) Supa was just being smarmy.
Run of the Month given away by Pimp look-a-like Pro - Teepee won it by miles.
POW given away by Koty to Retard.
Loyalty raffle won by Nom de Plume.
The RA paid a visit for the solemn ceremony of a naming. Cassie was in peril again as she knelt before the RA. Young Cassie is now known henceforth as Screamer.

on on

Monday with MOFL - run 1878

A wonderful park in Stratford was the venue for MOFL’s go at trail setting. As usual, a well thought out and marked trail and a fabulous venue too, tho somewhat dark. Still the atmosphere was twinkly with torches and camp lamps. Out through the park and over the creek, up into the pretty streets of Stratford. Much calling out to Xbox from Trinity hash but no reply (maybe Betty had the wrong house) Losty and Knee Trembler were the only runners and the rest of the pack walked. The highlight of the trail was Moley getting a whopping big thorn in her shoe.
Teepee gave 7/10 for the run report even though she told a long tale.
Mama Mia and Moley were returned runners.
Moley was charged for scene stealing, claiming that Helmet was pulling for all he was worth (yeah - - - trying to pull out the giant thorn we think.
MOFL was charged for not picking up the thorns on the trail and also for the weather being cold and everything else that could be thought of!!
KT was charged for being inappropriately dressed and Nomi for being predictable.
Fabulous food and lots of it.

Frolics from Forest Gardens - run 1877

The trail took two forms, walkers and runners. We left Chez Prickle/Helmet and walked straight along the service road up to the Drs Surgery. How thoughtful…. We all got blood pressure checks and heart check-ups – Handy. Certain hashes were proven to in fact be dead and some were proven to be almost dead. As we all suspected Koty had inside information as she sneakily bike-rode the trail on Sunday.
Koty was duly charged for having inside running on the trail and pre-empting the pack. Gripit charged Tadmore for somehow stealing Gripits shoes while on the run!!! Koty charged KT for sneaking up on people. DQ was charged for now being 60 and claiming she is a cripple. Just to get out of doing the whole trail. Defeatus charged Losty because he’s Losty. Koty charged Crunchy for being a car park hog. Keith was charged for being so tall his eyes were so far away from the trail he damaged foliage by tripping over.
Visitors: Mumbles, Yeti, Etiquette, were welcomed eventually and the superspawns were retuned as was Nomi, JC and 49er. The keg mistress Teepee needed a ladder to give the spawns of supa their drinks... The supaspawns are so tall they make Supa look tiny!
Gripit spoke eloquently about trouser snakes, live snakes, dead snakes and Koty who was lucky enough to get her own giant version... How is she going to carry the POW home on her bike?? Who knows!
Bash Hash 18 August 6.30 at Salt House. (Bar Appreciation Social Hash)
Support the upcoming Blue Moon Run.
McTaf is still away.
W-A-W had a birthday BBQ on Sunday.
JC kept a low profile and MOFL said a swear word.
On on

TeePee Toddles Too Far - run 1876

Returnee Fidler returned with virgin brother Keith, returnee Pendinga popped along, which is always good. Pythagorarse came back too.
We left Corkwood Street and found our way into the scrub. Cries from Dancing Queen “Why are we in the bush” (might be because that was where the trail went) Up the BMX bike trails and hills huffing and puffing was heard. On up and over and finally out onto the very back of Moore Street. We found our way in Panguna Valley (very pretty) and then under the highway and over the road into Trinity Beach. More cries from DQ “why are we going to Trinity Beach” panic amongst the ranks there. Drinkstop up Baler Street near the tennis club. Defeotus gave the run report “same old run same old markings” so he gave the “same old score” which was actually very good!
Prickle kept DQ company while she drank her Birthday charge. A temporary farewell to Noway for going away.
Anyone who is minding the POW it needs to cum back to Hash, any returning of any awards would be great!
Raffle: Tuttie Fruttie
31st August is still the Blue Moon run – 5.30pm for a 5.45 start. Don’t be late ‘cos Hash is starting on time!!

On on
Betty Boop

Goanna's Gambol - run 1875
Visitor Pythagorarse gave Goanna's Gambol a 9/10. Quite a good score really. Just Josh from Agana via Guam was welcomed as a visitor and a very fit visitor he is too (memories of Won Ton Soup) Kwai Bungy from the UK also visited.
Mama Mia, Tackle, Moneyshot & InnOut were welcomed as returnees.
Money charged Defeotus for leaving her breathless and nearly giving here asthma.
Josh was charged for using BB's phone in the circle. Money charged herself for being so cold she stole some of BB's clothing to keep warm. BB was charged for making Crunchy late.
It was a very windy evening but a jolly pack enjoyed themselves. Clothes were passed around, borrowed and put on instead of being removed. Good job BB keeps lots of clothes in her hash bag!
Salad and chicken fed the pack and they scoffed the lot.
on on

Mole’s Monday Moves - run 1874

Visitors Sticky Date, Captain Pugwash, Jim Beam, Didn’t Do It and Olive all helped to find Moley’s large arrows. Returnees 49er and Cassie put in a good effort at sorting out Mole’s trail because some of us were a bit confused. Not Yet came back too and showed off his swanky, shiny, new set of wheels and ran too. Hat Trick was still here so she had a good crack at the trail too.
Goanna said something about parks, running the walkers trail and odd arrows and gave a score of 4/10.
Returnee Defeotus put in a so so effort at being keg master but he still wore his only yellow shirt. More returnees Tuttie Fruttie and Wait a While tried their best to keep a low profile but the pack made sure they didn’t.
A rahte subdued pack tried to come up with charges. Defeotus charged Moley for being dyslexic and getting arrows confused. Supa charged Retard for coming back from the run. Moley charged Far Canal as she had given him information about the run and then he did not do the run. Swampy tried to get out of her charge but failed after Not Yet’s retort about Tasmanians and gum-bumpers!!!. Helmet talked about worm turning and Grab a Granny nights ??? and Prickle and Mofl took a down down for being great grannies.

31st August is Blue Moon night - $25 at Tradies Bar
14th November – Solar eclipse Clifton Beach 5.35am

McTaff performs his 1905th run this century - run 1873
What can I say about that run? The RA was not doing his job at the start but decided to appease the HHH and do his job, which kept the rain at bay – Until the circle!! We followed well-marked (soggy) trail in around the sights and sounds of now defunct WOW of Manunda & Westcourt. The runners actually got back before the walkers for a change and they did the whole (well mostly considering as it was good weather for ducks) of the trail. The only thing we didn’t do was have to swim the crocodile infested
stormwater drains!!
We welcomed visitors Captain Pugwash, Sticky Date and Crème` Broulee from Master Batemans, charged returnee Hatrick and also charged some wet cummers. It was a wet and miserable night buoyed by wonderful roast beef, pork, and lovely other nibbles.
On On

No Ways Wamble – run 1872

The pack returned to Maurice Street in Kewarra Beach and followed Lost and Found arrows. The trail trailed around the dark streets and canal bridges through suburban Kewarra. There were arrows that looked like it went into Trinity Beach but we were fooled.
Returnee Defeotus returned except quite a few of the pack were not returned for a while. Then they did. Ruffride returned as well which is good as it is always good to see Ruffride.
There was much discussion as to where the trail went so it caused the pack to think. The pack scoffed chocolate dipped fresh fruit for pre-dinner nibbles. The Tadmore and Gripit twins were missing as was DQ.
The GM called the circle to order and he was promptly ignored.
Supa, a returned runner gave the run report “it was everything and less than the pack would expect 2/10”
Nomi was charged for sitting in the circle even though she was supervising scribes note taking.
Returnees were down downed.
Teepee charged Retard for getting lost in Kewarra which is where he lives. Crunchy charged McTaf for tantrum throwing. Retard charged Teepee for something. Mole charged Supa for having such big feet they covered up trail arrows when he stood still. Swampy waffled on about something to do with elephants and dolphins. Teepee charged the GM for doing birthday bungy jumps. GM charged himself for bungy jumping in a superman G string thus lowering the tone and reputation of the Hash. He thought it was the pinnacle of Hashing. McTaff gave everyone eyeache by giving an observation about the GM jumping in a G String.
BB charged herself for having a matching tantrum with McTaf. Prickle Magnet was charged for low profile.
Pro was charged for lying down at Hash but as he reminded the pack he lies professionally.
31st August – Blue Moon Hash. - Tradies Bar 5.45 for 5.57 $25 or so and buy a badge for about $8
14th November Hush Hash 6.27am
We all sang Hashy Birthday to the GM and Betty Boop.

JC's Miraculous Monday - run 1871
Scribe hears that JC began his miraculous Monday marathon at 10am Sunday. That's when he started with the loaves and fishes and ended up producing a sublime repast for the pack before we even started trail. As for the trail, JC had his minion (son of JC) to lay the chalk. There were arrows this big, that big and even bigger. It went across a park and into Bayview Fairview Estate. The pack huffed it up to the top of Goublian. DQ was seen to be practically crawling on her knees. The trail went up and down and even went all the way down Fairview, up Vista, all the way to Marti and Sydney Streets - PHEW!! Eventually the pack found their way back. Run report from Pro who reasoned that as it was set by JC and son of it had to be 10/10 because JC is JC. This was amended for various reasons and those who could keep up with the maths worked it out to be 2.5.
Visitor - Can-ardly from Lismore.
Virgins - Calvin and Jessica.
We had Manu Manu look-a-like along with a Toolbox and visitor LAL because for some reason known only to a few Manu was told the wrong venue!
Crunchy charged by Tadmore for finding bookface more interesting than Hash, Crunchy said she was checking on Goanna at - wait for it - Pony Hash!
As NoWay was the Manu Manu LAL Carnadley was chosen to be the No Way LAL for going to Anderson Street and trying to find the park.
JC was charged for trying to usurp Betty and Prickle's positions as hash nosh cookers of the year.
Mole attempted to give away the POW to Tadmore's lackey Gripit because it was all the dog's fault anyway.
Pro spoke at length about parents and children being alienated and JC was charged for successfully alienating his children (bless the little dears) by bringing them to Hash.
After the 1st July Davies Creek bike weekend there will be a combined Bike Hash with Townsville in September.

DQ & Kotex - their combined run - run 1870

Comments post run being bandied about - "Did you give it to him?" "I gave it to him alright" "Cor bet you did and all!" ??????
Tadmore's words to describe the trail - we were a bit misconfused - misconfused - a new word in the Hash lexicon. Mole was heard to respond to Tadmore's descriptions of action on the trail that had her on her knees in front of Tadmore - 1½ points for each hare who were re christened Dumb and Dumber for the evening - seeing as we have Tweedledum and Tweedledummer twins. Kotex was heard to squeal out loud and wonder where her pussy could be.
Returnees: Lovelace & Deep Throat, McTaf, Betty Boop, Farcanal and Sod on Me (Welcome back)
Charges: DQ charged Prickle and Helmet for not removing their arrows from their run and and driving round the corner to this week's run.
Tadmore charged McTaf for hanging onto a down down mug.
Moley charged Tadmore, Gripit and InnOut for having her on her knees and then not actually taking advantage of her.
Betty charged Losty with incorrect dress.
Betty was charged for getting her mords wuddled.
Tadmore was a busy hasher tonight and was into everything.He told a story about something to do with a dog, the old prick and looking long and hard for a new prick that must have belonged to a 10 foot giant. He presented it to Mole - make sure you remember to bring it back!!
Noway presented the run of the month shirt etc to Pro so he could look after it for Pimp.
Pro asked about a celebratory run - ideas please.
Koty kept complaining about the mess the hash was making.
on on

Pimp’s swimming good time - run 1869

A small but defiant pack were ready and raring to go . The run started off with a creek crossing. Those of us brave enough opted for the railway crossing rather than get out feet wet. Those of us that always look for the short cuts did so. There were even those of us that were too woossy to get their feet wet and took their shoes and socks off to cross the creek. Well that was the start of it. Not a great deal of trail, some arrows in the wrong direction and even arrows in blue chalk, which isn’t real easy to see on a dark night!! When we finally found trial it led back from where we started, and on into the cane paddocks and on down to Lower Freshie. Well, we knew there was only one way home then. In Out, Goanna and Mole` were the only 3 brave enough to do the entire trail – even the swim leg across Freshwater Creek in the dark, fighting off the wilder beast and crocodiles, and swimming in shark infested, rampaging rapids, 3m deep, in over their heads water. It was like doing the Ironman event but with trail. Pimp’s answer was “Well it was nice at 3 0’clock when I took the dogs for a swim.”
Mean while back at the circle the search parties were about to be sent out when the 3 bedraggled hashers finally turned up – freezing cold, soaking wet and in a foul mood. Lucky for Goanna and Mole` they had dry clothes to change into. Also lucky for all the Harriettes present that InOut didn’t !!
Charges were laid to the Hare. Charges were laid on Goanna, InOut and Mole` because they actually followed trail. Charges were laid on the Hare again. Wait a while was charged and so was the Hare again.
Great run for a summer run Pimp so try it in December next time. At least the nosh was warm.
On On

Helmet & Prickle Magnet's Maze - run 1868

Fifteen hashers braved the maze of Forest Gardens to arrive at Helmet & Prickle's abode. Off into the undergrowth we went and around the suburb.
Inn-Out gave the runner's report - slow to start but progressed from there - 2.7/10
MOFL gave the walker's report - through mud that Manu Manu described as "shit" round about and up the hill for the drink stop and magnificent full moon Helmet had put on - just for us!!
Charges - Helmet for being seen coming out of Dan Murphy's and then not putting any alcohol in the drinkstop.
Koty, Prickle Crunchy Helmet No Way and Knee Trembler were all charged for various misdemeanors.
Mofl and Nomi were charged for not accepting a lift from Pro on the way back.
Returnees - Manu Manu, No Way Fetish, Inn Out.

Tadmore left the pr... of the week at home cos he wanted to play with it for a bit longer.
Losty left the run board at home just 'cos.
Bike Hash 1st weekend in July at Davies Creek.

Nosh was the bestest mexican dip, pea & ham soup and a mexican soup - yummy!

Loyalty raffle won by McTaf and the weekly raffle won by Helmet.

Wait-A-While's Wander (with spooky drinkstop) - Run 1867

Out the back gate we wet onto a road and the checking began. up English Street and over Anderson Road and pffft ---- scribe's memory has gone blank except to say it was a great rail and the walkers stayed together really well. Losty went somewhere else entirely different "Buggar me" said Losty (eww - no fanks) I've gone the wrong way. Teepee waffled on but a score of 7/10 was forthcoming.
Before the run report the two tall tweedledum twins (Tadmore and Gripit) bought the keg (yay) but no down down mugs (boo) so a hymn was sung.
Charges: Teepee to Mole for having a bigger pointer thing than WAW (arrows)
Swampy to KT for thinking he was going for a swim (a new fashion accessory - towel wearing)
Pro for being a prick
Farcanal to Kotex for jumping all over him (claims of having tripped over him as he was directly in front of her.
Tweedledum and Tweedledummer for doing the right thing and bringing the kegs but parking miles away.
All "legendary" hashers (long sleeve black shirts) were down-downed.
JC was happily returned and Teepee was the stand-in virgin.
Awards: Gripit to Tadmore (ahh sweet!)
Announcements: Weed spoke of the new loyalty lottery (If you cum you might win.
31st August - Blue Moon Run
Swampy announced her intention to do the Thelma and Louise ride - see Swampy for more details.
Raffle - Farcanal

On on - scribe will see you all in 3 weeks Ta Ra!!

Supa's Brinsmead Saunter - run 1866

Swampy's Mystery Trail somewhere in Palm Cove - run 1865

Goanna gave the run report as Goanna ran it - don't know how as some of the marks were found - on the dark side of the road no less. Because the runners climbed a fence and there were fairy lights too so the score 1/10. Ruffride gave a classic harriette run report as the trail involved shopping on the way home so now 2/10.
Visitor latecomer from the UK via Trinity Hash was welcomed and Ruffride and Pendinga were happily returned.
Charges Retard to the hare for a) setting trail on a bike so the arrows were too far away or b) being too poor to buy enough chalk.
Weed charged the tweedledum twins Pendinga and Latecomer for being "twins" and Losty for not being able to realise Latecomer wasn't penny and Penny wasn't latecomer.
Swampy was charged for trying to charge Prickle for training for Hash by going to the gym but how would Swampy know if she wasn't at the gym herself.
Latecomer charged for not paying attention and WAW for giving Swampy cider instead of beer. Retard charged Teepee again for speaking French to him and getting him all in a lather.
Raffleboard winner for a bottle of gin to Pussy Bob.
31st August Blue Moon run.
ON ON Betty Boop

Far Canal's Annual Brothel Run - run 1864
Appropriately Pimp gave the run report. The marks were big and small, some seen and some hidden but all in all a good run 3/10
Returnees: Ainsley - younger version of DQ, Layback, Weed, Mole and nicely returned they were. We even had a virgin at the brothel too, Tadmore bought his protege (who was the virgin - how appropriate) so young John was down downed.
Charges: Moneyshot and Fetish were charged for going to Fasta Pasta instead of cumming along to more important things like brothel runs. They could be excused perhaps because there was something to do with becoming engaged.
Crunchy charged Betty for telling her to pull her knickers up and being a ho.
DQ was charged for bringing her granddaughter to a brothel and showing her round..
Betty charged Noey for calling KT by his non-hash name.
Prickle was charged for leaving her calling card all over town via bits of orange fluff and Layback was charged for being a media tart.
Run report from Horny Hombres given by Losty "The night was very good" and it was all good thus was the inaugural H5 run.
Se the Shash Hash page for Shash Hash sponsored events that are up-cumming.
POW awarded to Unholy Moley because we can not call her Holey Moley now.
Shirt was awarded to Far Canal for leaving the circle early and without permission just like our dear and much loved patron Sir Meatballs of Edgehill. On on to that wonderful hash circle in the sky.
Hashy birthday to Not yet

McTaf's Edmonton Escapade - run 1863
No notes but an interesting run under the roads of Edmonton.

Meandering with MOFL - run 1862

MOFL went to a great deal of trouble to set an interesting run (as MOFL does) It went something like this − − − − − − − − − − − − − − − − − − − − − − thus was the trail.
MOFL was down downed for a terrific trail as described by Tadmore “It was pretty good”
Spock Bouncer & McTaf were called to the front for being returnees. Animal who left early – (how rude!) was also a returnee.
Charges: Twistie to Nomi for throwing things at the GM. Not Yet to Swampy for leading the pack far astray.
Supa was charged for not ensuring there were no mossies and sandflies.
Retard to Twistie for having a big bum due to lots of sitting.
McTaf was charged for having hashed twice in Singapore and not taking Betty.
Betty was charged for being a media tart.
Crunchie for finally doing hash cash.
Losty waffled on and Gripit passed on the deflated boob to Helmet.
Noway still has the run of the month garment. Twisty ran her last run with us being departing on her trip. Teepee passed on the POW award to pro – lucky him.
Announcements: Raffle won by Pro and Helmet.
Shash Hash sponsored events – opening of Arts up North at Tanks and 9.30 at the Convention centre to see GCG and Defeotus being awarded their degrees.
On on

Teepee’s Titanic Trail - run 1861

There was a chill in the air which did not auger well. Icebergs were seen and the briny was cold. A noisy rabble crowded into tiny life rafts and boats and tightly packed like sardines floaties, lifebouys, life vests were hurriedly adorned by the jammed together passengers. Rain and drizzle fell which only added to the misty pall.
Goanna was seen to be in a panic having got wet and smudged her mascara. Dancing Queen professed to having that sinking feeling. Helmet’s waterproof goggles failed to be waterproof.
Pro, Penny Gripit and Tadmore went swimming in the icy drink with the giant iceberg. BoPeep and Betty tried their best to stay afloat. Retard just looked like a Gilligan look-a-like. Teepee’s captain’s hat was bigger than her. Mofl and Tootie were emblazoned with Titanic memorabilia. Crunchy Crack was entirely to blame as she was the cause of the whole sorry tragedy being the iceberg at fault.The RA was called forth for failing to keep this tragedy at bay. Penny and Tootie were seen to be hiding away on the flying bridge. Returnee Prickle joined the secret Penny and Tootie along with Crunchy who was charged for being at fault. Lost and Found was charged – no explanation needed. InnOut was deemed to be unchivalrous. DQ’s charge was reversed (silly moo) but claimed she wore her lifejacket to keep her boobs dry, Supa demanded to check.
Not Yet awarded the giant truncheon to Teepee (a donga to practice on)
Swampy awarded the memorial Titanic shirt to Lost and Found. Gripit admitted to loosing hash property (well the ship was sinking)

Spreadem's Scenic Scenestealing Saunter - run 1860

"It was a fabulous run" said DQ with enthusiasm. Supastork delegated the trail setting to virgin run setters Gripit and Tadmore. It was always going to be a shamozzle as the boys started the trail from the wrong BBQ area over the road or somewhere else! The pack in fact started their run from the rotunda at Centenary Lakes. Despite this the pack scored the walker's trail 9/10. Mole took a down down for being the only runner to run the trail. Mole ran with all her friends (none) Helmet assured her that as she is running as a councillor she would have to get used to that (having nor friends)
Tootie charged the hares for false advertising, there were so many drinkstops but only one stop with actual drink.
Prickle stood in for BB who was note taking and DQ's charge was frivolous.
Happy Feet stood in for Losty who left after doing trail.
Crunchy charged herself for failing to be hashcash.
Gripit was charged for claiming Goanna's name was Goharder (the hare's state of mind)
DQ forced Betty out the front for claiming the drink stop was yummy so she had to have some - buggar!
MOFL charged Weed - good charge! Mole told tales about Weed.
Bumper and KT go low profile awards
Happy Feet was a returnee

April 16 - Teepee's Titanic Run
Blue Moon run in August - $25 and buy your own shirt


Goanna's Gallop - run 1859
There were ponies, skateboards, footballers training, horse-poo, wallabies and wallaby-poo, shiggy, footballers, horses, wet shoes, footballers, polocross ponies, glamorous homes, Goanna's vacant block, footballers. Retard gave a run report and awarded 7/10
Much repartee pertaining to Swampy and Pro flirting madly. Teepee was very deaf - what ---?
Returnees: BB, CC, Inn Out, Lost and Found, Pussy Bob and Retard.
Dancing Queen took Crunchy Cracks Down Down and Phuket took Betty's as they were both a)sick and b)writing. The stand-in look-alikes were chosen because they look exactly the same!

Charges: Defeotus charged Money Shot for squealing and getting Supa to carry her over the water but then she sang him the song "You'll be my Hero"
Gripit and Tadmore for taking their shoes off to go through the water.
Tootie to Teepee for not seeing the keep out sign and clambering through the barb-wire fence.
Swampy to GM who was up the front in the walkers trail and advised Swampy that the rest of the pack couldn't be f***** forgetting his good lady wife was in the pack. Needless to say the GM isn't going to be f*****
Defeotus to Weed for being Mole's campaign manager and ensuring here face is seen everywhere.
Pro told the pack to take back the slamming we gave Losty on his run. Losty said he had set the run but was not believed, Pro found evidence by way of "Losty arrows" the next day up near Cairns Central.
DQ to Inn Out for no hash attire.

Awards: Swampy awarded the squashy boob to Gripit for admitting he did not have muscles to open her beer bottle.
Losty awarded the w***** shirt to Swampy for boasting
Defeotus found an L plate on the run and awarded it to Goanna for something or other.

Blue Moon Run - 31st August 7.52 run start - more details later
Hush Hash - 14th November - more details later

on on
Betty Boop

Concrete Rod's wet concrete run - run 1858

It wasn't just the concrete that was wet as the rain continued to pour down in bucket-loads. A very small band of hashers braved the rain and joined Concrete Rod for his run from Greenslopes Street Centennial Park. Concrete assured us that the trail was marked but unfortunately some of it would now be 2ft under water! Head towards the Tafe was the instruction and you might pick up the trail! The runners took off and the walkers made their way towards the tafe. The walkers soon got fed-up with this and opted for a walk along the streets and then along the banks of the swift flowing drains.
Back at the circle and the GM and Prickle had arrived. Helmet took control of the circle and Concrete Rod was duly down-downed for his poorly set run - no trail to follow.
Super-Stalk was charged with something or other and because he didn't want to drink alone Not Yet was charged for having purple pants and Pro for having a purple shirt.
Spreadum tried to charge Tackle for having a drink every time he poured drinks for the charges - this was reversed as everybody knows Hash Kegmaster can drink when he likes.
Twisty gave a report on Trinity's weekend run - cos she could and nobody listened anyway!

Spag bolognaise for nosh followed by prawns
On on to hopefully a drier run next week.


Waterfall Park was to be the meeting spot but we all soon learned from the two prominent arrows to proceed on up to the house - yes it had rained and rained!

Blake’s runner’s report was brief - run well marked but very wet, and earned 5 points.
Supa Stork charged the RA for not controlling the rain - yes himself - then complained that he should not be drinking by himself so Defeatus was dragged into the charge.

Returnees: Chopper, Prickle Magnet and Helmut
Virgins: Emily
Charges: Mole charged Swampy for her confusion over shirts and also for not knowing how to text (bit unfair as I’m sure lots of us have trouble with texting).
Chopper charged Bryan, Blake and Defeatus for leading him through the creek when they could’ve crossed a bridge further along.
A shaven Not Yet charged Tackle for listening to his ‘scanner” - eavesdropping on all the truckies complaining about the water everywhere.
Mole charged Bumper Sticker for not going on the run.

Namings: The RA, suitably attired, singled out Blake for naming and after waffling on about his being a fine specimen (?) likes his food, but really likes to have everything just a tad bit more, he was named TADMORE.
Bryan (apprentice electrician) sometimes gets given a ‘boot’ if he grips the wires too tightly so is now named GRIPIT.

Awards: Swampy awarded the prick to Not Yet because of the similarity to his newly balded (shaved) head! Scribe must say at this point “Well Done” to Not Yet for the huge amount of monies he raised toward the Leukaemia Foundation.
Helmut awarded the “soft breast” to Swampy - ‘cause he could!

Good nosh of steak and salads, and then it was time to fight the elements getting out to the cars as the rain had really set in again…………ah, just love the tropics!

On, on……………….Meatballs

Losty's Lost Laneways - run 1856

It belted, bucketed, poured, flooded, streamed and precipitated so Losty told us to make up our own trail - so we did. Runners ran to the Esplanade Nomi and Spread-um walked around the block. Dancing Queen, Bouncer & Fiddler walked 2 blocks. Spock Weed & Farcanal walked a bit further.
Goanna and Defeotus ran a bit. MOFL, Betty Boop and Not Yet walked some more. Bumpher Sticka bought a salad and arrived late.
Long lost Spock and Bouncer and Bumpher Sticka
The RA Concrete Rod failed miserably preventing the precipitation.
Losty gave his own run report 11 and a half out of 10 Goanna was stand in Kegmaster Super was stand in RA

Not Yet to Losty as he used the rain as an excuse for not buying Chalk Defeotus to Goanna for not removing her shirt when she promised - Noway was stand in LAL as Goanna was busy.
DQ to Spreadum for being a spoil sport and not removing her shorts on the run.
Mr Spock for still having his hernia.
Mamma Mia for something (when she returned from having a cigarette)

Fiddler to Losty for the Wan..r shirt so LAL Dancing Queen took the down down joined by Nomi with a low profile award.
Check websites for all upcoming events.

On on
Betty Boop

Nom de Plume's Holloway Hideaway run - run 1855

The pack met at the usual spot for a Nom de Plume run - the BBQ furthest from the toilet block!! Instead of a meander around the streets of Holloways we took off for a nature walk through the undergrowth, the runners streaking ahead and the walkers with plenty of "on on" calls as we made our way along a pathway complete with nature trail notes. I have no idea which street we eventually came out on but following a well marked trail of arrows we were directed down to the beach at the inlet between Machans and Holloways Beach. A lovely walk back along the beach with the runners, who had followed a different trail, catching the walkers up as they came along the beach.
Back to the circle and the usual round of "down downs". Can't remember them all but two visitors from Germany were welcomed and Manu Manu and MOFL were returnees.

Dancing Queen showed off a photo of One Ton Soup, Boopy took notes and then promptly lost them when she tried to share her breakfast cereal with her laptop - oops!!
So short notes this week because I can't remember anything else except it was a great night with lovely ham for nosh.
on on


Tackles Torrential Trail - run 1854

A sizable pack gathered at chez tackles to find various members of the pack helping our busy keg master put up the marquee to help give extra shelter from the belting rain .it made for a very cosy and intimate affair. the pack welcomed 3 visitors to the wet tropics. Leebeedo via Nagoya via japan via Korea. Stewed Tomatoes via china via Steel hash from the U.S and also One Ton Soup via the middle east via the U.S. A busy fun night it turned out to be .With the rain falling the pack ventured out and on up the length of McCoombe Street the runners dashed off leaving a plume of water behind them and the walkers trudged along. We could find the arrows despite the rain but the pack still split once we had the regroup at Kneetremblers. A chunk of the pack went home, the runners continued on and Betty boop and maid marion continued on there way following the way marked by arrows. Up Kingsford street to the top and the corner of Irene and Kingsford.All the way up Southerden drive and on to a hymm stop at Spock and bouncers. coming down robson and onto the drinkstop at the vacant spot on Mcfarlane . after the drinkstop it was on keg to tackles. As our visitor Stewed Tomatoes said it was too wet, and didnt know what markings to look for so just followed the runners and kept up. As you do.
Stand in GM Defeetus charged the new R.A Concrete rod for doing a terrible job keeping the rain at bay so stand in RA Supa stork took the charge for him, how kind. Goanna charged by Moley for going on trail but being seen going off in the bushes with two hashers. Mama Mia was charged for being at the drinkstop but not doing trail Kneetrembler was charged for joining the trail at the very convenient regroup on his driveway. Handy.Pro was charged for ruining the GMs drink by poking the marquee so the poolof water fell off the roof straight into the gms beer. Bettys charge failed miserably but then got to squeeze up to One Ton for the hash flash.Dancing Queen passed on her personal marquee to Leebeedo because..he couldnt remember any of his clubs hash songs. Tomatoes helped Leebeedo sing very entertaining japanese hash songs and a jolly good drinking game was played for the grand prize of hash shirts. Goanna and Blake won hands down and wore the shirts from Steel hash with pride...and they fit. Goanna gave the w* nker dhirt to Fiddler for staying remarkably dry.
great fun, visitors, laughs rain, top nosh and a top night.


It was Moles, Weeds,,..uhm..Weeds... it was someones run out at Poolwood road. who evers run it was turned out to be a top trail. According to visitor Diarear..." i enjoyed it"....So we went out the gate and on left to the end of Poolwood and over the road and straight onto the beach. trailing along the walkers noticed all the fast runners...Blake, Brian, Cassie , moneyshot had zoomed ahead but the walkers caught up because the speedy runners had taken off their shoes and were busy putting them back on. On through the tidal pool the walkers waded and immediately returnee Pendinga managed to wrestle swampy into the first tidal pool crossing.As you do. Along the beach, up through the scrub and into the streets and parks of Kewarra. we came to a drain trail and the flour went right by the drain edge and in the drain. Some speedy runners were seen to delicately leaping from drain side to drain side in a zigzag fashion in order to avoud getting wet shoes. at one point rather tall hashers were seen piggybacking delicate harriettes through the bog and shiggy . this proves yet again a harriettes ingenuity and wiley ways.through the suburbs streets and parks and at last a drinkstop. in the words of Innout...A good runners trail ....back at the keg the swimming and drinking was enthusiasticly enjoyed. On to the circle Returnees ..pluka, arse about, reverse thrust, cassie, penny and long lost harriette fiddler were welcomed.
Charges...fiddler was promptly charged for being fashionably and stylishly dressed. She must have thrown away her hash wear in the intervening years. moneyshot got one of the supastork look a likes charged for bruising her when picking her up and carrying her over the creek.
Dancing queen charged for moaning while on .. not that sort of moaning.
Swampy charged Teepee for thinking the cat she was admiring was Ted the ginger cat and not the catamaran swampy actually meant . at that very exact moment Ted the ginger cat fell of the patio roof directly onto the pool umbrella straight in front of the circle.Timing.
Reverse thrust was charged for doing something to a harriettes pulled muscle. As you do.
Run awards...Kneetrembler ...500 runs...........Goanna.....80 runs................Nome de plume............250...........Bettyboop..........572.....Mctaf....419 and crunchycracks pallindrome run.....202
Awards awarded the w*nker shirt to Goanna via the eeny meeny miney mo principle and swampy was awarded the prick of the week. SO THERE ON ON

Cairns AGPU - run 1851
The only reason Cairns Hash has their AGPU is so the pack can enjoy the international food night. Scribe cant tell you anytning about the trail except it was short. Scribe cant tell you much about the charges except there were some.There was too much swimming to do and grog drinking to enjoy and watermelon throwing to be done. What actually happened on the night is still a mystery except to say we voted for a new commitee as fast as we could so we could all tuck into the international array of nosh . Defeotus wrote some some notes but the writing was too scrawly for scribe to decipher so never mind.
As it turns out not much regards the commitee has changed.
Helmet ....GM.......
Tackle....Keg Master....
NotYet....Assist KegMaster
CrunchyCrack.....Hash Cash....
Weed....Assist Cash....
Lost and Found....TrailMaster
Prickle Magnet....Haberdash
Web Misstress...Mofl....
On Sex....Bettyboop
An enourmous thankyou to Two tit fruity for an almost 7 year tenure as hash cash. A sterling and dedicated effort to keeping our funds and books in tip top shape. A huge thankyou to Tackle for continuing the efforts of a varied and consistent keg. thankyou to all previous commitee persons and and thankyou to the hashers for continuing fun and frivolity and support of this fine monday night fun. Speaking of frivolity quite a lot ensued on the night and we Grassyarse as a visitor and it was great to see Teeps, Retard and Farcanel again.Thankyou to all our international chefs for traveling from Wales, south Africa, Japan,China, South east asia, North America and tropical north Queensland Quite a trip really.
ON ON to a running drinking hashy new year.

Helmet & Prickle - run 1849

A hot sweaty pack gathered at Prickles abode for what we knew would be a terrific trail if Prickle set it and a terrible trail if Helmet set it. As it turned out it was a top trail because it not only included things we had to on/in/over/under a trampoline but also virgin terrain. A bonus. We didn’t go the usual way past he tennis court. Well, we did but differently we went along I think sawpit street and found our way to Boombil Close. Straight up the giant hill where we found the trampoline, the pack were then seen to clamber on said trampoline and bounce enmasse, together, at the same time, in order to bounce over the inconvenient fence that blocked their path in order to get onto the correct side of the said worked a treat as the pack found themselves in new terrain and had bounced straight onto trail that went by a canefarm and eventually down through a new park in Bayview heights. Down Kite Close and then up Pheasant Street where the drink stop was waiting. What a view and how sweaty we all were. Especially Money shot as she had shot away at such a pace she even beat Supastork and other runners, a fit harriette. Down Pheasant street and eventually onto Anderson road and into Sunbird Street and back into Forest Gardens. Into the pool the pack spilled and a fun circle ensued.
Charges to Tooty, Noey,Nommy,Noway,Maid Marion and Dancing queen for failing the trampoline part of the trail. Goanna charged Blake and Brian for calling someone in the pack DAD. Goanna was then charged for no hash attire and only wearing a teeny weeny bikini. The charge was reversed because it was revealed that harriettes don’t get charged for taking hash attire off harriettes therefore decided that it was always appropriate for INN OUT to not wear any hash shirt or any shirt at all. A Tackle L.A.L was charged as Tackle had failed in hash duties by not actually being at hash that night. Various frivolous charges that involved Moneyshot for disappearing, Goanna for not listening ,Noway for not knowing stuff Pro for a low Profile Manu Manu for returning, and Mammmia for coming too quick. Raffle to Notyet .POW to Losty and the W*anker shirt is still with Twisty. ONON

Basil Thrush`s Woree Wamble - run 1848

It was a sweltering, heavy, night for hash but a pack of 30 (hashers, not cards) turned up to Woree Tennis Courts. Out onto Windarra Street and back into the soccer fields and along the creek the runners charged off and the walkers ambled. Following toilet paper and wholemeal self-raising flour,(it stays really well in the rain) we continued through the park and over a train bridge. Coming out into the suburbs of Woree and onto Shannon Drive we followed all the way to come out at Anderson Street. Along there and into the secret walking /bike path and down into the depths of Woree. Over a park and a handy tap for a drink stop we wended through a park and finally back to the tennis club. Glugging the cooling grog the circle began and we welcomed back the hare, Basil Thrush and his lovely Better half, Inn and Out. Not to be confused with Innout who is out at the moment. The trail was deemed to have started out as good and then the end bit was s***t Kneetrembler found it to be an easy cool down run despite the sweat.

Visitors....the lovely Inn and Out, via Vietnam, Beer Barbie via Denmark who sang us a great Danish song in English.
Returnees....Mama Mia, No Knickers, Big Bazza.
Charges....Twisty charged Mutiny for being very gallant and assisting harriettes out the stony creek. Moley to Young Brian for helping Beer Barbie and Moley out the same creek. Twisty tried to infer that she and supa were therefore just great parents but funnily enough Supa doesn’t remember any such night.
Basil was charged for being a foreign correspondent and not corresponding but Farcanel soon sorted that out by charging Betty for not noticing the correspondence Basil sent in to the local newspaper. Damn...
Mama Mia and Beer Barbie for having a lively conversation during the circle.
The w*anker shirt went to twisty coz Deefeetus doesn’t like her much. Any reason will do really.
No Knickers got the prick of the week for spitting the dummy and not talking to Not Yet for the whole weekend because he threw out crap she had been trying to keep. OH WELL..


Australia Day - hosted by Cairns Bike Hash

The weather had been dismally wet as it can be in wet season but the rain held off until after the party had packed up. Mind you ,the rain can make for an even better, fun day. A great pack of nearly 40 hashers turned up including visitors Wiggles,Supastork, and Sister Cumming (mrs ram). Losty set the trail that was just the right length but scribe heard there was no creek crossing and no wet feet this year. C`est la vie...still the trail wasn’t too long as it gave the pack plenty of time to socialise and cool off in the creek which had been running furiously fast but the pack played safe. Hash horrors Lucky and Charmed were finally allowed to swim in the creek and Handbrake was forced not to look. Passing visitor Moanna enjoyed a cool off in the creek and helped to liven the circle when a down down was given to self nominated R.A.Goanna,who in fact did a great job keeping the weather at a pleasant temperature. Stand in Bahgwan Crunchy was nominated as a stand in but was deemed not hairy enough so Helmet was offered to co stand. a rousing hymn was sung and frivolities continued. Those born overseas were downdowned but welcomed as true blue aussies. Mass charges took place for Bike hash virgins..Cassandra, Fetish, Moneyshot Deefeetus, Goaanna, slapper, twisty, mutiny, bounty and anyone else scribe missed. The Under 40s hash took their inaugural charge as bike hash virgins and were welcomed into the fold. The more hashes the merrier scribe says. Returning harriette Ole was downdowned and made a charming barrel girl and organised the 1$ raffle. Egg tossing competition was won by Crunchy crack and cassandra and plenty of thong throwing was hotly contested.
Lots of nosh was noshed and plenty of grog was grogged. A top Australia day celebration was had and can’t wait to find out who will host Australia day 2013.
on on and have a great cycling year.

Kewarra Beach Hooch Trail - run 1847

With Weed’s words ringing in the packs not pick or touch the private property growing somewhere in the scrub the pack bounded off to begin what was supposed to be Noways trail. We left Noways new premises in Maurice Street and ambled here and there. We promptly came to the new housing development inconveniently built on what was once the handy vacant block next to weed and moles abode. (no more handy overnight parking when there is a fab party)Into the nearby scrub the trail went and the pack soon came upon the private crop growing somewhat hidden in the scrub. Except Wait a While who wondered why someone would decorate the native scrub with potted plants. Ah well.....over the shiggy and runnels we ran and coming out somewhere deep in the burbs of Kewarra /Trinity beach. Here and there we went and it proved to be a tricky trail as we had lazy checks and false trails. The pack eventually split but scribe found themselves going to the beach or to the drinkstop. The drinkstop won and after that more wending and walking. Back at the keg the pack was busy trying to cool off without a pool. Lots of thirst quenching ensued.

Returnees...Goanna, concrete rod, moneyshot , innout and nommy.
Visitors......Pancho, 49er, Mammamia and lovely to see highbeam again.
Mamma mia appeared at the drinkstop having promptly got lost thanks to tackles terrible instructions.
Charges were a little confused or maybe it’s just scribe...moley charged juggler for boasting that he could see moley bending over setting trail when in fact it was weed bending over. Ergo juggler was charged for not being able to tell the difference between bums. Twisty charged supa for appearing to be a midget standing next to his sons Blake and young Brian. Twisty was charged for being behind the eight ball as supa was charged for that last week. Bopeep charged handbrake for lazy instruction giving as she didn’t specify which house on which corner. Swampy charged losty for inflicting his shirtless body on the local population.
Hashy birfday shout to Deefeetus.

Handbrakes Hacienda - run 1846

It was a sticky state of affairs as the pack turned up to Wau Close. The pool beckoned but first the pack had to endure the trail. Again the pack enjoyed a handy zumba class to get us really warmed up for the split trail that was coming up once we got onto Manus Street. A long, slow, incline up Manus and the runners were seen to hold a regroup while the walkers dragged themselves up. Onwards the trail went and some of the pack was getting excited or terrified as the trail went straight past Lookout Drive, which takes you straight up into trinity dress circle. Could the drinkstop be up there? Could it be at Goannas sisters place with the lung busting climb to her verandah and the magic views. We were spared that torture and continued happily along various streets and backblocks to find ourselves beachside for the drinkstop. A calm flat glassy ocean was before us hiding all sorts of dangers (stingers, crocodiles, nude swimmers )The pack was gagging for a chilled soothing tropical thirst quencher but family Smith surprised us and we enjoyed a semi chilled butterscotch flavoured milk drink. In the words of Supastork all that was missing was the junket tablet. Still, it was alcoholic so one mustn’t complain. Runners went and ran and walkers walked back the way they came. Straight into the pool we all went and by then the junket had set being in the chilled pool.
A rowdy circle began Supa gave the run report. the trail actually earned a score of 15/10 but Supa deleted 17 points for the junket drinkstop. After that Young Brian, sprog of Supa stork was given a virgin down down. Funny how for years supastork was the tallest man in hash but next to his two sons he looks shorter than Prickle Magnet.
Bopeep, Retard, T.P, Tooty, Swampy and Weed were returned runners. Or maybe Weed was charged for eating all the pies. Who knows Tooty charged retard for outdoing Helmet in the frumpy budgie smuggler department and Betty boops charge failed miserably. Tooty and Twisty were charged with accosting a strange man on trail.Boppeep charged Juggler because she could. Moley was charged for being a media tart again. Cunning Linguist was charged for being so much prettier than former cairns hasher Cunning Linguist A.K.A. Count cunny.
Awards were awarded but we only had the W*nker tshirt which went to Weed even though Weed and Mole had been trying to get rid of the hideous shirt for 3 years. Please return any of our fun awards if you have them. Birthday songs were sung to Handbrake and Phuket.

Pro's run - run 1844

Boxing Day @ Crunchy Crack's - run 1843


That is actually how pro gave his run report of the trail set by Losty via Spreadem. Asked to give the run report Pro clambered up onto a handy ladder standing minding its own business and addressed the pack thus......." I thought it was good "... as did many others. Trail climbed up various hills throughout Bentley [ark and the hills just kept on coming. it was a good lung busting, sweaty workout. we climbed all sorts of hilly street and terraces and enjoyed the fantastic view right at the top of Tamar and Corea Street and the very top of Bowen Street. Kneetremnbler was thrilled with the new territory .Losty managed to fool us and put in false trails at the very top of steep streets that made the pack work very hard, except for the hashers that moaned as soon as they began. Others didn’t and just got on with it. A good hard sweaty work out does us all good from time to time .Upon our return to 33 Gilmore Street the pack dived into the cool drinks and sweet pineapple waiting for us. Anyway onto the circle ...and an unruly one it was too. Helmet fought hard for control but the hot heavy, dense, night air had something to do with it. Charges were quickly awarded to Twisty and Rubberdick for P.D.A.S several times over and Rubberdick was also a welcome returnee as is Bumpa stik her and Spreadem. Twisty charged Losty and Tackle for being cranky. Tackle charged the person who damaged the hash dray trying to direct the keg master where to put the dray so it wouldn’t get damaged... Handbrake and Phuket for having new cars and not damaging them. Spreadem for no drinkstop on trail and D.Q., Twisty and Nonikers for complaining on trail.
Announcements ...26TH December Boxing Day open house 3 Capricorn Street ... Byo meat chair and sleeping equipment if you choose to crash after the big fat party. Open house from 2pm. bring swimmers and ON ON

Trail & Brinner at JCU - run 1840

The pack made their way to the student amenities block, formerly the cairns yacht club, at Smithfield campus of James Cook University. The pack were looking forward immensely to the promise of a great trail AND brinner from Defeotus and Cummy. The pair did not disappoint. The trail was well marked, even if it was pink chalk and losty style arrows. There were overpasses, underpasses, uni classes, zumba classes, highway crossings, scrub. We even retraced some handbrake and mole trail through the Cairns works maintenance dump. We crossed concrete walls, went through old cane field, cut across the uni oval and joined in a boot camp work out. The pack worked their way across sand bike tracks, discovered new bird species, crossed wallaby territory and even made friends with a beautiful carpet python minding his own business lazily basking in the late afternoon sun. Quietly sitting there minding its own business till disturbed by squeals and great thumping and pounding of clumsy hashers. Off it stormed back into the scrub after the last of the harriettes had been shepherded by its living quarters by Kneetrembler. And we thought he was just holding the regroup for the tardy pack. in fact ,he was making sure the poor snake wasn’t trampled underfoot by hoards of heavy footed hashers. Mind you, supastork reminded us in his run report it never was discovered who the hasher was that was eaten some years previously on some long past hash trail through the very same scrub. The python had come back for revenge. It was still recovering from the poisoning it endured after swallowing the mystery hasher.
The circle was fun. We welcomed back our Mr and Mrs G.M helmet and prickle and the return of Spreadem. Always a joy that. We downdowned virgin Cassie who was shown how to drink her share of the down down by goanna who brought her along. We down downed newly named Moneeko who is now known as French Riviera or Frenchie to her friends. (go the harriettes)
Nommy was charged for squealing at the python in Swiss. Crunchy was charged for forcing Scribe to remember notes by memory by not packing scribes note taking book. Scribe included Mctaf in the charge as he told Scribe to scribes face he would pack the hash bag and note book. More charges happened but blame Mctaf. The pack couldn’t wait for nosh as the hares promised brinner and brinner we got .It was breakfast for dinner and the only complaint was Dancing queen complaining about lack of fried eggs there was plenty of brinner to eat and the hares put on a top night So stimulating was the evening the pack didn’t leave until 9pm. Top night boys and the random vagrant that came by thought so too.


The pack found their way to new territory somewhere in the new suburban parts of Trinity Beach, park, heights, views and great trail it was too. Leaving from the magnificent residence presided over by Arse about and Pluka, which also turned out to be their virgin runs from this current abode we wound our way down the steep drive and discovered new parks paths and all sorts of interesting back blocks, scrub and secret hidey places. The trail was clearly marked and how the runners managed to head off in completely the wrong direction after the drink stop is a mystery. Back at the top of Crow’s Nest Terrace the pack lurked in the pool admiring the fantastic views and enjoying a soothing beer or two.
Stand in G.M and returning runner Defeotus was welcomed back very heartily along with returnees G.C.G, J.C,MCTAF,WEED AND MOLEY. Ruffride was with us again as was the ever popular Swampy. A fairly unruly pack attempted to play up which tends to happen when the pack have all been playing in the pool but Defeotus did his best to take some semblance of control considering it’s been a while since we have seen him. Tooty gave high praise for the trail and a massive score of 2/10
We remembered to award the run of the month garment and Mctaf was given the honour for his virtually set run from Ravizza Park.
Defeotus got the charges underway by giving G.C.G a down down for stopping on trail to play a quick game of soccer instead of concentrating on trail. Ruff ride was charged with coconut gathering instead of concentrating on trail. Crunchy Crack was charged with sitting on a crunchy bar in the drinkstop van and getting a crunchy ...bottom instead of concentrating on trail. Inn out to Defeotus for having vile BO quite something if a guy notices another’s bad B.O Tooty to pluka for confusing her by not living at number 14 as she was told. J.C had the same charge
Penny charged Swampy for making him late to hash so he couldn’t concentrate on the trail either G.C.G to Goanna and Innout for disappearing and not concentrating on trail. The prick of the week was awarded but scribe wasn’t concentrating so can’t remember.
Brilliant nosh followed a fun circle and more swimming and nosh eating. Atop night ON ON


The pack made their way to Ravizza park in Edmonton and a fabulous trail it was to considering it was set from afar via the net via crunchy and betty. the trail began along ravizza drive and then sneaked in some checks and false trails in and out of secret streets and even a discovery of a spanking new health centre tucked conveniently on a false trail. at this false trail point ,returnee Manu, and weed snuck across a creek and ambled their way to an early drinkstop at the grafton hotel. meanwhile the pack followed trail and found secret parks and trail off hancock drive and out to Resoution drive. more hidden parks and a handy drinkstop later ,the pack continued out to bicentenial road. still the false trails and checks kept the pack guessing . finding a hidden pathway which came out onto Mclaughlin road the pack found a second drinkstop waiting for them. back over sinclair miller bridge and on home to cooling watermelon and a fairly well behaved circle.Tootys run report was generous. Returnee Manu was welcomed back and weed and manu enjoyed a down down for going via an A.T.M to accquire cash for their drinkstop beeer instead of always being prepared with coins in the pocket for the purchase of beer. Handbrake was charged for showing of her new car.Losty was charged for leaving the pack early and without permission.Dancing Queen charged Betty for being a snob and having the run from a park instead of from the big house.(Consuela the housekeeper was calling that day).anyway it made for a different trail.
Dancing queen was astand in looka like for moley as she , weed and handbrake were given another down for their efforts for the fullmoon straight line run.(it was that good).P.O.W betty deliberated as to who hadnt had it in a while and the unanimous decision was Tooty.Weed won the raffle.ON ON


As Losty was a front runner until he got attacked by plovers(scary things them ) he gave the run report. Well..... it was pretty good. There was some imagination used. Pluka gave the walkers report and his usual verdict was thus...I set my expectations low and they were well and truly met. Total of 2.5 /10 was the run score and that was that.
Strange stories were told of people getting altitude sickness having to climb up the giant hill with claims that if certain hashers had got altitude sickness and couldn’t do the run the pack would of had an even better time than they were already having. There were stories relating to weight loss (boy, it really was some trail then...apparently) Charges ensued most notably Spreadem who was temporarily renamed Stabem after affairs with knives and canetoads. oh.. that’s right stabem charged Losty for being deaf but the charge was reversed as Losty was excused due to not understanding a kiwi accent. Bazza charged Notyet for leading Bazza astray. Bazza was promptly charged for calling notyet Brookie. The pack assumed this was someone that got awarded new hasher the pack hadn’t met yet.
Dancing Queen tried to give the G.M a spurious charge for lack of indicator use while pursuing/following him on the the G.M cannot be charged Prickle accepted the down down.
Many lost property items were returned. Dancing Queen for random bits of lost towels and cutlery and various items of clothing for others. oh ..yes.. and a lost prick of the week there as well which losty lost. that got handed to betty for some odd reason. The run of the month was talked about and the pack really should hand that out again. Whoever has it please return .
Goanna was a returnee and was also charged again for failing to turn up to the straight line full moon run which went off a treat.
As always top nosh and plenty of .ON ON


Well, no Handbrake, no Losty, no Betty Boop, no Crunchie Crack, no Wait-a-While, no Goanna, and no Maid Marion!
However, we did have a Virgin: and our long lost Harriette, Swampy finally found her way home!

Supa had devised a clever system of sending the runners off in one direction and the walkers off in the other direction…….somehow they all managed to arrive back at the keg together. No idea where the runners went but do know that some determined walkers trudged up a drive-way into the nether regions of the jungle – even though no trail was evident, but somehow they all managed to escape the mosquitos and wait-a-while and struggled on back. I believe NotYet gave a run report and awarded a 5 !!!
Helmet was charged with dropping a smelly bomb, to the disgust of the walkers, but this stand-in scribe can’t remember any other charges. Dancing Queen requested that Spread-em should be renamed Stab-em after her not so heroic act of stabbing a poor innocent toad to death at DQ’s recent run!
Returnee, Plucka managed to pluck out his own number to win the raffle – awesome.
Good nosh of lovely green salads and lasagna was enjoyed by all, thanks Supa.
On, on………Tutti


It was a top night at chez Prickel’s and that was before the run began. We were greeted by spooky scenes of spiders, skeletons, eyeballs, witches, ghoulish things and that was just some of the regular hashers. Tooty Frooty was unrecognisable so complete was her witchy costume. There was so much spookiness going on the pack nearly forgot to go on trail.
Out over the road we went and by the sales office and was surprising how much new trail there was because we ventured into territory the pack hadn’t been before. we trailed under bridges and underpasses, dells , old streets new streets. and even a soccer field named after a bloke named Bill who knew.
We wound up at the cemetery for the spooky drinkstop complete with flavoured eyeballs and Hannibal Lector serving drinks. Home the pack went and the spookdom continued although Supa thought it was the worst halloween run he had ever been on for some reason although he thought the handy tap on a stick drinkstop was ...handy. Back at the ON ON the jack-o-lanterns were lit and an eerie glow descended on the throng.
Charges were laid led by twisty who charged Betty and Crunchy for attending with creased capes. Nommy charged for her Pippa Middleton impersonation and things to do with cape holding. Goanna was charged for failing to be at the impending straight line run on the...wait for it... 11/11/11.Twisty and W-A-W charged each other. Losty was supposed to hand out the prick award but it has mysteriously disappeared from his possession.
Anyone with any awards bring them along please. A super night was had and a memorable halloween run too. Top effort.

on on


Returning runner Deringer gave a run report and noted that the trail was very well marked, plenty of good, clear, chalk to be seen and a great length for a good long run and 2/ the walkers failed to find even the first check is a real puzzle. All that effort setting the trail and the pack should at least make an effort to check properly. Wrong way, Deringer, Supa and even late cummer Pro found trail. What happened to the walkers? And how come they got lost so quick? Was the aroma of the chicken farm too much?...if a hare sets a great trail the pack should make an effort to do it with some degree of enthusiasm...
There was shiggy, a creek crossing, canefarm, headland, tunnels, highways long straight bits and short bits....but some of the pack collectively shrugged their shoulders and thought bugger this for a game of cards and ambled back to the keg.
Moving on...Supa stork had some very important business to perform with the blessing of some new sacred hash drinking vessels which were duly drunk from by miscreants that committed crimes on and off the run. Supa charged the walkers for failing to bother with trail so Spreadem took the charge for that one. Crunchy was charged for failing to remind Betty to bring the plates and flatwear for the nosh.....See! the benefits of hashers bringing their own .....and others were charged for misdeeds but the light was too dodgy for scribe to see properly
AWARDS.... There was only the prick awarded to Losty coz he was standing close to Twisty at the time but this leads to the question...where are the rest of the awards. If you have one stashed somewhere bring it along coz we would like to give them away again.....healthy, tasty nosh... a greata effort put in by Tooty and Dancing there.


OR....TACKLES TRAIL WHILE TRAILING AWAY.......A very jovial and high spirited pack began the trail from Moowooga street tucked quietly away in a hidden dell in Earlville. We left bumpas via a right went down the street and went right again through the sneaky park .Along there to a sneaky trail behind someone’s back fence then over a rather vicious spiky wire fence. Harriettes legs were seen to be flying in all directions and so wide were they spread a hasher thought he might try his luck.....instead Prostitute neatly moved the giant fallen palm frond to one side revealing a conveniently lower and far easier height fence to clamber over ..and delicately too. Meanwhile some serious fresbianism was going on between two harriettes that involved ones derrierre being "rubbed " by another harriette or maybe it was just the defenseless harriettes bum was stuck on the wire fence .Out onto Grevilla or Granadilla Street and the pack were on trail. Supa was seen to be a man possessed and furiously running trail. More likely he was excited at the thought of the derrierre rubbing. Hard to tell. Out onto Henley Street and a stop at the red rooster for drinks and entree at Sizzlers. Continuing onto Mulgrave Road the pack detoured via the corner shops for a quick noodle stop and on round into Balaclava road. Dissent at poochies parlour about whether to do the runners trail but the bulk of the pack made like sheep and herded on home for delicious pre nosh.
A really jolly circle ensued with claims of fresbianism, supa being a man possessed. Moley for tricking everyone into thinking she had notes when in fact she didn’t .The sudden and shocking revelation that Lost and Found was actually Betty boops look alike Mctaf as it was Boopies wedding anniversary with no Mctaf around to share a celebratory drink with. This in fact was a complete surprise to Crunchy Crack who was celebrating her birthday the day after the wedding anniversary so cries of DADDY!!! were heard. NoNickers was also charged for wondering where next week’s run was after it was announced that it would be Meeds and Woles run. No wonder Noey didn’t know where to go .Meed and Wole are standing in for Weed and Mole who will actually be in New Zeelund. No awards were awarded so we must remember for next week. Goanna was charged yet again for organising the straight line run and not being here for it .
Oh well.... top nosh as always and a very jolly night ON ON


A lively and very sociable pack of nearly 40 hashers descended upon Kneetremblers mansion .imagine that..! just to welcome back returning harriettes Buggered, fresh off the plane from Japan and returnee Wallaby with her new little Joey, Hiro. these were popular ladies while residing in cairns .We even had visitors Captain F..£$$ ER from somewhere that scribe forgets. Also visitors Kiss my Arse and the lovely Phone Sex. we even had virgins Kayako from Japan and Joyce from Hong Kong. Rubber Dick returned to join us again and the pack were pleased to have had their drinkstop served ever so politely by junior hash horror Kyuske, ably assisted by K.T s hash horror Kai. Aside from all this socialising and returning there actually was a run. It turned out to be quite interesting really as we went behind Auto barn then over the road to follow along the canal. Past Brophy Street and along to a fence that went behind Cazalys. Clambering over the pipeline we crossed over Mulgrave Road and up Dalton Street. Behind there to another canal till we came to another pipeline. This had some of the pack terrified but if you stop complaining long enough and check trail, one finds a convenient bridge to cross to the drinkstop. This served and a couple of quick cuddles with Wallabys baby off we went all the way up Macoombe. Following trail it went up Kinsford Street and came around behind and finally back to Kneetremblers.
More returnees returned ...Nommy, Manu Manu, and the friendly Bill,Choppers friend.
lots of stuff happened most notably Kotexs run report which went thus....urhhmmm...the drinkstop was turned out to be a healthy drink but there you go.
There were many charges and lots of laughter and frivolity but scribe had a headache and couldn’t keep up. Much socialising, down downs for the virgins and lots of cuddles with the Baby. even Pro was spied giving experienced grandfatherly the Baby. great to see our long lost harriettes again .


Goannas run report of her own run was ...the trail will be really good. There may be some hills. this, in fact, turned out to be true.The pack met at the bottom of trinity tavern right next to the blue toilet block(usual hash environs).The trail began along the esplanade and beach .(always a delight).Onto the sand, through the park named after Ron and .... Straight up the steps displaying the private property do not enter ...that goes straight up the sides of the walloping great hillside. UP and Up it went. many of the pack thought they would need oxygen bottles to get to the top.through scrub, steps, little metal bridges, dirt, ever higher until a road appeared, crawling on hands and knees by now the pack were shown the way to the drinkstop by returnee Ruffride and brand new virgin hasher Baby Finn.(gotta start em young ya know).Round onto returning virgin harriette Victorias balcony and there to the gobsmacking view. Our gobs smacked, we downed the drinkstop and nearly forgot to leave. Out through the truly astounding Trinity Circle and back to reality.
InnOut was seen to zoom by the dawdlers at a cracking pace having cum late. Moneyshot and Fetish were seen to be dawdling and handholding and giggling was heard in the bushes.Returnees....Fetish,moneyshot, innout,spinifex, j.c Lil,Ruffride, Chopper,Victoria and Baby Finn.
charges....Lil....for nothing to do with the trail but wanting goannas running shorts.(see prickle magnet)
Tackle to Crunchy and Handbrake for forcing him to stay behind and fend off the offending hoardes trying to get their fingers into the keg.. Supa to Tackle for allowing himself to be taken for a ride by letting the offending hoardes get their grubby fingers into the keg.
Handbrake and Noway for gatecrashing a zumba class. Weed to goanna for instigating the straight line run and failing to be here to set the trail. Moneyshot for strange sock wearing and Fetish and Money for P.D.A`S and giggling in the bushes.
No awards were handed out but we would like to see them again. The best nosh so far this week was scoffed by the pack. Top night and a great time was had by all.

Mole and Handbrakes Smithfield Scrub run - run 1828

"I liked it" was Crunchy Cracks enthusiastic post run report. This run had all sorts of new and interesting things that the pack hadn’t done for some time. Out of the park next to Smithfield petrol station the pack wandered searching for trail. it soon went over the busy highway and down into Northpoint new subdivision. Down onto a scrubby park and on over a vacant former cane farm. ther we found a disused cane track and followed that through more scrub. Wandering through burnt scrub we came upon a sandy bit and wandered in through that. Trail was there. You just had to stop talking long enough to spy it hidden on the hidden cement pads that a certain local building company was accused of finishing to such exacting specifications. Continuing through this hidden, sandy, scrubby former cane farm the runners barely had time to speculate on the possible development these concrete footings and pads .Much calling and yelling to let the walkers know where trail was proved useless as the walkers were too busy blabbing and lost trail. Once at the regroup the runners crossed over the highway again and found trail into the suburbs and round onto Cheviot Street. The drinkstop was found but it soon became apparent that Weed and Believe it or not B. Boop were the only runners to follow all of the actual trail. Once back at the keg Crunchy’s definitive run report was given.
Charges.... as Goanna and Boopy were running together, Goanna charged Boopy for bouncing boobs. Supa and Moley were charged for bringing the Cairns building industry into disrepute for unfinished work. Wrong way charged for doing the right thing and offering Long Time Cumming a refreshing cider except L.T. Cumming doesn’t drink cider and never has. Moley had a somewhat confusing charged that involved L.T.C and the walkers and a random American bypasser. Handbrake to Boopy for leaving the haberdash at her place for weeks.
Further charges were made up most notably...Goanna for instigating the soon to be famous straight line run and failing to be here for it. W.A.W awarded the prick of the week to Prickle Magnet for leading him down a dark, prickle laden path.
Much frivolity and plenty of yummy nosh.
The straight line run is going to be a winner!!


A rugged up pack ventured to the vacant block on Ramsey drive in front of the old quarry tin mines. There were folding chairs, the trailer with burners burning , Not Yet’s camping light and a jolly mood. All this was hastily put on by the said pair and a great job they did too. All that was missing was a cosy campfire and the pack would have been even happier. But..time for trail. The pack got away smartly and ventured straight up the steep slopes into the scrub. With strict instructions to stay on trail and no messing about while on trail (bugger!) the pack made a swift pace and huffed it up along the dusty trail. Up higher we went and the runners had plenty of opportunity to check out the falsies and on backs. Over the trail bike jumps we went and carefully avoided falling into disused tin mines. This trail had it all as there were green sticks, dead leaves, even the odd comfy chair to have a little lie down while the runners checked the checks and returned from the false trail. Dust, lots of wait a while, dead trees, even a trickle of a creek to cross. on the pack went out of the scrub and over a skinny pipe the pack had to scale. Over the runners went but Noey found the best way to traverse the pipe was to straddle it, inching her way to the other side....then again, maybe it just felt nice. Walkers...or according to supa stork the talking crowd clambered over steep inclines and embankments rather than straddle the pipe. Drinkstop had ,on the pack dawdled up Ramsey Drive and on keg. Not yet was a diligent hasher and cleared the white tape from the trail as he played sweep.
Returnees.....Dancing Queen, J.C, Madame slash and Pussy bob.
Charges....J.C was promptly charged for using a mobile phone while on run and discussing business. Moley charged Noway for giving the illusion of having crossed the pipe as she was at the drinkstop serving the drinks. Betty to Non Nickers for trying to tell the hare how he should set trail after it had been set. Prickle was charged for having a bruise which means what’s Helmet been up to. No knickers for causing consternation by falling backwards off her chair. D.Q tried her hardest to charge the G.M Helmet for supplying her with a dud dick but it failed miserably....C`EST LA VIE...
A great night made even better by the fact that Handbrake supplied us all with home grown tomatoes and Dads homemade pickles.

Prickle's Recycled Run - run 1826

A good sized pack made their way to Prickle Magnet’s at Forest Gardens. As all clever hashers know, as parking is a tight squeeze in Forest Gardens, one parks the car in the handy communal carpark. Then one walks through the park and straight on in to Prickles. Except Wait a While. The pack watched from over Prickles back fence chortling with mirth as Sheedys Cleaning Service van was seen to drive one way,then the other. Back and forth the van went several times, the pack crying with laughter as Wait a While was continually going round the nearby roundabout and zooming by the back fence. Meanwhile it was time for the pack to depart and the runners ran off and the walkers walked. Gleefully waving to Wait a While as the pack found trail and on they went. Out of Forest Gardens, along Bruce Highway and along the cane train track. Winding in behind the Primary School, the trail marked out with chalk and cut up plastic shopping bags. Not ON ly was the trail recycled but the trail marking system as well.. ingenious!! Out onto Sunbird the trail continued and into the depths of Forest Gardens and deep into the darkest depths we went. The walkers still managed to meet up with the runners at a designated spot and everyone was very happy. Finally wait a while had caught the pack and managed to introduce a visiting Bunbury harriette, Sweaty who also joined the hash at the recent Amateurs Race meeting.
Back at the circle, Sweaty was down down.ed. Wrong way and Long time cumming are still with us and Innout and Moneyshot returned as did Kneetrmbler. K.T gave the run report and found the run all a bit too simple unlike W.A.W who didn’t find it simply at all. Bumpa returned but complained she was here two weeks ago.
Tackle charged Helmet for forcing him to park the keg mobile miles away and out in the boon docks and forcing him to carry a keg bucket and sacred drinking vessels to the inner circle. BOO HOO.
Twisty was charged with some misdemeanour and Money tried to charge Defeotus as she usually does so was all out of sorts.Crunchy was charged for wearing a skirt to hash
Awards....P.O.W from Tackle to Wait a while for his clever impersonation of watching a tennis match(back and forth)
RUN OF THE MONTH....TA DA!!! returned at last and given to Tackle for his prawn night .
A nice bit of news... the pack welcomed the safe arrival of favorite harriette Wallabys new little joey and future hasher..named Hiro Dion Thomas. the pack will soon think of a great name for him and look forward to a future viewing Atop night!! ...
Keep Friday the 11/11/11 free for our FULL MOON STRAIGHT LINE RUN.

Phukits note from his Mum run - run 1825

Out of Wau Close the pack went through the scenic views of Papua New Guinea via Trinity Park. Plenty of regroups and checks and even a detour to weed and moles and not to be outdone, a drinkstop at Noways new abode. Happy and Noways place duly christened, the pack continued on their merry way via soccer fields. The over 35s soccer team were recruiting but the hashers were turned down.
On via footy training grounds and sports fields it made the pack feel like they were real athletes. We should all be really fit and toned after experiencing all that sport. Visitors Sweetpea, Long time Cumming and our Goanna are definitely the fittest of the pack as they led the runners pack.
Back at the ON ON returnee Wrong Way thought the run was somewhat uninspiring for lack of use of anything other than straight lines. Our visitors Teflon and BoomBust and virgins Janet and Renee enjoyed themselves immensely and returnee Dead ringer kept Wrong Way in check.
It turned out to be a lively circle with much mirth and frivolity and our G.M had a hard time controlling the fits of laughter and misdemeanours from the pack. Hare Phukit read out several notes from his mum pre and post run so really the pack didn’t even need to do the run as his mums notes were telling us all about the trail. Hence run score of 1/10
Charges were confusing but somewhere in there a charge to Twisty for trying to charge Losty and Retard also did something but it was all very confusing
Weed charged Pro for ringing up Weed and asking why there was nobody at the run site when in fact Pro was at the wrong address. Mctaf was charged with the same offence. Teepee charged Crunchy for being so keen she actually ran but also managed to go up the wrong street.
Moley charged Long Time Cumming for running while visiting and No Nickers was charged for being incognito by not wearing her usual red attire. Noey charged Not yet for not doing the washing and forcing her to be incognito.
Weed awarded the P.O.W to G.M Helmet for not remembering to announce the awards each week thus causing weed to be stuck with the prick. Anymore awards out there send back to the hash.
Keep Friday 11/11/11 free at 6.30 for our special combined Full Moon Straight line run somewhere close to town.


With explicit instructions from very busy hasher Not yet the pack were informed in no uncertain terms not to do the second half of the trail before completing the first half and to follow the first half before doing the second or else we wouldn’t t be able to find the second half and not to mess up the order of the first half or the second half or we won’t know which half we would be doing....or something like that. The pack wandered down Olfersia close and turned right and we wondered if we were already on the first half or had we got confused and started the second half already. After a false trail which Losty actually adhered to and didn’t follow trail was begun again. this time the pack found their way and went into a newly made park in what was a park but now a really nice park and the new part of cityview estate....were we still on the first part of the trail or the second part or the part in-between......sometime later the runners came out of a creek and a drain and the walkers stayed nice and clean and walked above the creek and drain. onwards down into Earlville the pack went only to have a discussion about when the cane trains would come rumbling along the train line we were about to follow.....had we found the second half yet?......a false trail revealed itself and along to Yarum street and places in-between. A welcome drinkstop up the hill at Mestrez Street and a long slog back up King fisher street to summerhill drive.
Meanwhile back at the keg Crunchy Crack was busy not being on the run and drinking a cup of tea for which she was duly charged
Mofl and Maid Marion were charged for not being on the 1800th celebration run and Maid Marion managed another charge for wanting to go home on trail when confusion set in. Supa and Mole were charged with talking business on the run and Wait a while was charged with using his hash name as a business name .Mole was charged with bringing hash into disrepute by wandering willy nilly into a random persons front lawn and trying to pretend it was a trail finding expedition.
More charges ensued but scribes writing is bad and scribe can’t read one’s own notes. There were no visitors or virgins tonight but a fun night was still had no awards were awarded either
G.M. Helmet celebrated 100 runs tonight and mole celebrated 605 but that’s just the runs we know about. More funny stuff happened but scribe is tired now and eyes don’t work properly. Harriette Goanna has raised the idea of a Full Moon 11/11/11 run for surprisingly that very same night and as the moon will rise at 6.48 pm we could start the run at 6.30 and enjoy the rising moon. Sounds good more news on that front later.
Please return any awards or dongers you might have as we would like them to make friends with new people.

Cairns HHH 1800th run

An excited band of hashers arrived at the Pussy Bobs Palace on friday night to set up tents and motor homes ready for a palatial 1800th celebration.
After set up, onto the Red Beret Hotel. The pack headed for drinks and meetings and greetings. Many drinks, meals and raffle prize wins later the pack returned to the palace and a log fire. With warm clothes on and easy listening country music in the background, the pack jollied on.
Saturday saw more hashers arrive and onto the highlight of the day...THE RUN.
Up Pussy`s steep driveway,..this nearly finished some of the hashers off, left along Cascade drive. Past Georgina’s Paddock Party.. had to keep some of the hashers away from that one,...up and over into some dense and prickly scrub. Onwards the steep climb went through dry bramble, lawyer cane and clinging weeds. Up, up, until a break into a clearing and a lovely vista. Across the paddock and over a creek, crystal clear and cold and there was the first drink stop. Copious amounts of Coconut rum and orange juice later the pack continued. Runners Supastork, Pimp, Retard, Pro and Mole'y ran up even steeper and even more scenic trail to an obvious on back. A lonely looking Weed was spied waiting for the runners to descend down Leafy close.
Walkers and visiting hashers Grizzly, Boner, Bone Between the Sheets, Dr.Seuss and Teepee walked the wait a while strewn trail. So dense was the wait a while that Bumpher Stickhers new, white $80 yoga pants were completely shredded. Bumper was clearly confused as attending hash and yoga is exactly the same thing. Returning Past Pussy Bobs, the temptation to retire to the keg was too much for Dancing Queen, B.B.T S and Boner.
Down Cascade drive, through the road works and onto the wet cement left there for Grizzly, Crunchy and Boopy to leave their calling cards. Up the road to Zanzoo close, over the paddock to the next drinkstop but not before clambering down the steep bank and over the pipeline to the other side of the creek.
Runners met the walking pack and more coconut rum was enjoyed.
Returning via the pipeline or through the creek, Dr. Seuss was still squealing about getting his feet wet as was Kotex. Along the road, down into the scrub through the creek and a clamber back up the embankment to the keg at the Palace.
A jovial circle took place complete with astounding raffle prizes of boobs, bums, willies, tackles and pussys. All sorts of charges, misdemeanours and lies were told.
Bumpa gave a yoga demonstration, Dr.Seuss squealed about getting his feet wet and not being able to find any info about the weekend. McTaf re-enacted his slow motion fall while out setting trail. Tackle drank his yard of down down. B.B.T S and Boner drank their visitor down down. Pussy Bob trundled about on his wheelie zimmer frame. Noey showed everybody her photo albums. G.M. Helmet waved his truncheon about. Losty interrupted the G,M with dire consequences. Mole took the Mofl look alike charge. Prickle and Handbrake were busy raffle suppliers. Nomy kept a low profile except when Kotex kept a lookout for her while trying to secretly wee on trail. Crunchy was renamed Karaoke queen for her karaoke efforts and a search party was sent out to look for Dancing Queen after sleeping in for several hours. Stubby amazed us with his magic folding chair. Big Bazza told tall tales and Not Yet was busy doing Not Yet things. Phukit was busy packing up the Smith family tent and Wait a While remembered to turn up.

A wondrous feast of soups, roast meats and a cold collation was scoffed by all.

Concrete Rod’s run - or... it’s a straight line - run 1823

The pack met at Greenslopes Street to discover what trail had been set for us this week. Over the road the trail began and on past Rondo theatre. All the way up Greenslopes and a left turn into a rather nice street which came out into Russell street. a couple of remedial classes later the pack left Edgehill state school and continued straight down peases street. Coming upon Edgehill Tavern the pack got excited and thought that was a logical place for a drinkstop. But NO... the trail continued straight past and straight on up Jensen street, straight past the pub. Walking and running in a straight line past Moneyshot, Fetish and Innouts place there was still no drinkstop even though concrete advertised a drinkstop. Returning runner Councillor Ooops was seen to check out any cracked and unsafe footpaths and driveways blocked by overgrown trees. Such a diligent councillor. On the trail went until it simply stopped. Dead. Not to be deterred helmet, prickle, twisty and others were seen to continue dead ahead in a straight line....Meanwhile Noway and Nommy were seen to turn around at the pub and head straight back to the keg.The runners found a long straight trail home and the rest of the pack sauntered home at their leisure. this worked to their advantage as they did not have a half hour wait for the standin keg master to return and unlock the keg. Sometime later, Twisty , helmet and followers finally found their way home after claims from twisty... i know where we are going ...follow me. Straight into a deadend.Back at the keg Weed was charged for taking so long to return home.
Returnees Oops, Lil, Bumpa stikher and returning Trinity hasher via Tip Hash via Bamaga, Dorsal were welcomed back.
Mctaf sang the run report as the trail followed so many straight lines it was possible for the pack to be walking in a straight line. Even the run score was straight... a solid 1/10
Twisty was promptly charged for professing to have local knowledge but completely getting it wrong. Dorsal was charged with having insider knowledge by walking her doggie and discovering hash trail. Helmet charged Councillor Oops for not fixing his broken street lights that have been broken for three years. Supa strangely enough was charged with molesting visiting tourists backpacks thinking it was belonging to the hash. The visiting tourists were somewhat bemused at the intrusion to their quiet night’s dinner at the picnic shelter. Weed was charged again for being exceptionally diligent at key keeping.
Councillor Oops was charged again for not knowing the importance of the hash calendar by trying to organise a bike ride on the recovery Sunday after the packs 1800th celebration run.
Raffles won by Twisty and Betty boop.
Whoever is minding the Garment of the Month hat and garment we would like to award them again before the year is out and the double donger and concrete appendage might like to have a holiday from their current owner and come back to the hash to make friends with someone new.


New trail was blazed by our illustrious keg master extraordinaire Tackle. The pack turned left out of his abode and went along the demolished house block and promptly down into the creek and over the stepping stones. Emerging up the other side via the tree root steps grown conveniently just for aging hashers we trundled along the handy concrete path into the depths of Mooroobool, winding through and along we eventually came out somewhere along a canal path and over to Jensen street. Trail was hard to find but Defeotus sniffed it out and along more canal we went (near a bridge and eventually onto drinkstop, at least scribe thinks this may be so as it scribe noticed Trinity’s run had similarities. Tackle took us over water to take us the long way round the creek and continue for miles, maybe that’s where drinkstop was as Trinity also must have stolen Tackles idea. Either way tackle gave us a good long trail with plenty of opportunity for runners to stretch out and walkers to short cut home as did Nommy and Twisty. On the pack went and slogged on home via the bowling alley, past the caravan pack. On past the reggea grooves of a house party complete with dense wafts of ganja smoke and by then an easy saunter up moody street ,through Wu Choppern Medical centre(needed medical attention after all that smoke). Arriving back at the keg to enjoy a coldie and prawn frozzies.
"Well ...uhm.. said Not yet about the run report but Goanna thought it was vaguely entertaining...must have been all that smoke...It was different said Wait a while ... not the same tackle run we’ve done for a hundred years. Then was told how Maid Marion tried to lead the pack astray...(never..!) but was unsuccessful.
Returnees ... Pussy Bob was welcomed which was a good thing. Pull thru returned and Defeotus.
Charges were laid most notably for Tackle for failing to deliver his usual out the back path and going up ramset drive.
Manu was called out the front for being an old lady and complaining about the cold, which could be true as even the prawns found it chilly and were still frozen. S.O.S was called forth and given a parting down down as he is moving interstate. Pimp was charged with running too fast as was farcanel and goanna was charged for upsetting all the dogs in the neighbourhood one even bit her to show his disapproval. Defeotus was charged for not coming to her rescue.
More stuff happened but scribe was still feeling the effects of all the smoke from the reggea house party.

Madame Slash feeds the 5000..oh! and sets a run - run 1821

Gleefully the pack arrived at the popular Madame Slash`s lovely Queenslander abode in anticipation of a great trail and the possibility of the 5000 extra visitors making an appearance from a visiting U.S. vessel. The pack gathered and wore their trendiest hash attire and made great efforts to look like fit runners and hard core hashers...but we are...we all thought secretly in our heads. Off the pack went at a cracking pace and immediately up up up to the top of the hill to a water tower. Immediately the pack called false trail and down they came again. An excellent warm up. Runners dashed on and walkers continued and the delights of edge hill were enjoyed..except by the 5000 visitors that forgot to turn up...oh well, the trail continued and hashers that don’t run much were seen to put in herculean efforts as the trail had some good long stretches in between hills and slopes. Kotex and Not yet gave a co run report. :it was quite well marked said not yet you could come home whenever you liked it was so well chalked 6/10 but minus some marks coz we got back too dark....Slashie was subsequently charged for inspirational use of the trail masters skills and using the trail master himself..genius!!!!.. Wee Wee and Champion were welcomed as visitors, unlike the 5000 that didn’t visit. Pro got confused though and thought they were the American visitors. Sadly certain Harriettes were distraught at the lack of visiting servicemen as the view for the evening is greatly improved. Pro charged slashie for failing to tell him about a convenient pool in her backyard. pro was abust hasher that night as he attempted to charge losty but it soon rebounded to him as he has failed to work out just what it is a hasher needs to do to get losty to set a trail for him. Not yet was charged for being seen tying Noeys shoelaces (together) Farcanel said his charge was an interesting one but scribe lost interest after half an hour of Farcanel explaining what the charge was about. Tackle charged Pimp for boasting about 5000 visitors attending hash this week and not a single visitor could be seen. Knee trembler was charged for talking to Bumpa sticker and scaring her away. God knows what he said to tackle as he was scared away as well. Many hashy birthdays were sung to dancing queen and as no Leo can drink on their own further Leo birthdays were celebrated and more hashy birthdays sung. Nosh was an extravaganza and enough to feed the 5000 and then some. Birthday cake was had and the pack managed to scoff the lot
No Way.

Mole’s magnificent malarkey - run 1819
There was a new location for Cairns Hash this week, the back of the newly completed hockey field at the north end of Lake Street. It was Mole’s run, set on chalk and a little bit of toilet paper and a drink stop of sorts were the instructions. The group set off at a cracking pace, the cold weather could have something to do with this. Checks a-plenty were the order of the day for walkers and runners alike. One check and arrows just outside the Tobruk pool seemed to send the runners in to the pool – no was the decision can’t go that way! Back on track and round the suburbs with a walk through a bush path to Greenslopes Street. Great – the drink stop – water bubbler in the park!! On home!
Back in the circle Prickle Magnet was busy trying to get hashers to order their shirts for the 1800 run. There are photos of the shirts and also the badge on the web page.
As the GM and AGM were noticeable by their absence Manu Manu took charge of the circle in his usual quiet manner. Run and walkers reports were made with Farcanal mumbling something about not liking the usual habit of awarding low scores and then awarding 3 for the walk.
Returnees: Big Bazza Manu Manu Visitor: XBox
Charges: Sure there were plenty but I can’t remember them – anyway downs-downs were taken by all miscreants!!
Nosh was served, steak cooked to perfection by Weed and yummy salads. On on Anon

Nommy’s Nonplussed Holloways Hussle - run 1818
CHARGES : There was a report from Tackle, Weed, Wait a While and Not yet about something fast and furious that happened in Townsville with midnight calls on non-existing mobile phones and drop carrots in tents (who knows!!).
There was a report from the hash ball about Goanna flashing (camera that is), DQ’s salsa ability (or lack of it), good food and a good time was had by all.
Apparently Pimp took notes but that must have been for his enjoyment because he didn’t write this. That’s all this scribe can remember
On On from the phantom note taker


As Losty so eloquently put it ...'This trail had all the imagination of a nats testicle. In real speak we think that means there were no checks, falsies, difficult runners trail or steep ascents to ascend. Instead Freddy the wonder dog would of had a lovely time helping his mum set the trail. The walkers took a brisk pace and followed new bike /walking paths by creeks and schools. An even more cracking pace was set by Kotex who powered along Woodward street and left the rest of the pack in her wake. The runners would of had a long stretch out on the return trail.
Returnees.... Pendinger, Just Cash, Reverse Thrust Chopper.
Virgin...Keith...luckily for Keith the sacrificial goat was on holidays.
Charges......Chopper to Losty for always running his own trail but always being found. Low Profile to J.C who kept such a low one G.M Helmet didn’t even know he was there. Supa to Mctaf for failure to wear any red ,white or blue very few charges except pre-emptive birthday charges and a farewell to fine hashing gent Nogat who departs temporarily for England to become our British Foreign Correspondent. Let’s hope we have more correspondence from Nogat than we do MR. B. Thrush! See Helmet and Prickle to order your Pussy palace shirts and start making monetary deposits for the pussy palace weekend. Theme could be Bordello or a cattery.
on on

Farcanels Fatal Food Farce - run 1816

Innout sum med up the trail "..a little short., we made it a little more interesting" the runners ran further than the 4.4km Little street walking circuit which ambles its way past Little street cemetery, P.C.Y.C and the Gym. Along the creek bank, round to the cricket feilda. Trailing along the by now dark track we came out by Man..under squash courts, along Anderson road to the entrance to the swamp, tramping through in went betty, nommy and Maid Marion behind the rest of the pack. Sometime later it was discovered that the harriettes had veered right when they should have gone left as a giant earth bank blocked their way. Undeterred the harriettes realised their mistake and continued on the correct trail but not before a convenient wee stop before catching up with the rest of the pack. Which they didn’t as it soon transpired the harriettes were left all alone in that giant swamp and returned last to the circle. it was soon discovered Handbrake was nowhere to be seen and a search party was sent forth. Handbrake was discovered escorting another lost /last harriette Noway who had again got lost.
Virgins: Liz and Mim were welcomed and the sacrificial goat was brought forth.
Returnees: Plucka, Innout, Phukit, Moneyshot,Not yet, Madame Slash and Nommy were returned. Visitors Cods, dammit,Two fathers,Udder one and in law to kneetrembler. It was soon pointed out that Marty didn’t look Japanese but maybe it was the fading light.
Pre-empting all charges Kneetrmbler brought forth a serious charge of dereliction of duty. This is indeed considered a heinous crime and under strict instructions from our foreign correspondent Basil thrush who resides in Vietnam Weed and Mofl were down downed for failure to consistently put photos and notes onto the hash web site. These being the two gurus most responsible for Basil’s life line to his former best hashing fellows and keeping up to date with hashing in Cairns. It was soon made apparent by Tackle that it was a case of the pot calling the kettle black as Basil being a FOREIGN Correspondent there is a distinct lack of correspondence from Basil himself, foreign or otherwise. HEAR HEAR said the pack and a lookalike in the form of Kneetrembler accepted the charge. Innout accepted the charge of changing his gender and sneakily hashing in Vietnam without telling the pack. Meanwhile the virgins were happily enjoying this frivolity until nosh was served. Farcanel should have been charged for attempting to poison the virgins with his chilli and coconut concoction but the virgins had to rush of to the hospital quick smart so he was saved from that.
More stuff happened but it’s all a blur...ON ON


There are many words to describe this run: said Goanna... mostly --up, down, and back. This is exactly what the pack did as it was visitor Marlborough Mans virgin, visiting, filling in for Losty run. It was in fact an excellent trail as the pack had to well... think. We went forward, false trails. Through the outer edges of the city. It tucked and trotted through little known lanes and streets and kept us interested with more false trails.
Once back at chez lostys , the artic wind blew through the underground carpark and Helmet battled to keep the packs attention.
Visitor Marlborough Man returned to visit us again. Returnees Mctaf, weed ,mole, goanna, farcanel
Check with goanna for all the facinating details of Eurohash 2011. it was fun... wish I went. Also Animal and former trinity G.M truncheon returned for another crack at running trail.
CHARGES... hard to follow due to the unruly nature of the pack and also scribe has lost all 3 pairs of glasses so neither can scribe see to type.
Helmet charged or praised Tackle, Tooty, Handbrake ,Crunchy, Phukit for their efforts lasting all night at the recent relay for life.
Mrs Magoo...aka tooty was charged for walking beside Mofl, removing her own glasses and promptly loosing Mofl with cries of where’s mofl who was still right where Mrs Magoo left her. Happy Feet l.a.l noway was charged by Dancing Queen when asked where’s hash tonight....don’t know says Happy...I’ll have to look it up...oh it’s at my place.
Further relay for life charge to Tackle for using mustard gas on himself while tucked snuggly away in his tent.
Pimp was charged for making himself a dad.
Pro to W.A.W for not accepting any offers from his charming Dutch backpacker au pair while residing at chez Wait a whiles.
Goanna charged for having ubiquitous and all round hasher of the world the famous Enos for a hash dad...or it could be said goanna was charged for picking up older men.
Low profile awarded to defeotus. Mofl gave the prick of the week to pro for making her get wet on his really chilly queen’s birthday run night.

There will be a committee meeting 2 July at 12 noon at the Tradies Bar to discuss the 1800th run. All are urged to attend.

Queen's Birthday Run - run 1814

Out to the scenic scenery of Little Mulgrave the pack went to Pros Ponderosa ostensibly to celebrate a monarch’s birthday. It transpired that it was merely a bunch of unfit hashers happy to dress in funny attire pretending to be royalty. Except Dancing Queen who is actually royalty because her name says so. It was classic, good hashing trail all the way. It started up a giant 4 wheel drive track straight to a huge water tank. Once up there wheezing and puffing of the trail went into scrubby, rocky stinging tree track. It continued along rocky, knee dislocating, gullies strewn with fallen trees and mossy outcrops. So fallen were the trees Betty was seen to be rubbing prickles of her bottom. NO.... not Prickle....just prickles.
So treacherous were the steep , uneven stony trails Tackle was seen to be heffting both Mofl and Tooty over each of his shoulders to ensure no further leg or ankle breakages ensued. So heavy going were the gullies and slippery trail that Dancing Queen did her Gandalph impersonation and forged a trail carrying her trusty Staff of Confidence.
Across the icy creek returnee Groove tottered and skilfully got her legs soaked as did Mofl who thought she would go for a full body paddle.
Although it must be said some hashers found the trail no bother at all as returnee Tongue was seen to positively sprint mountain goat like along the same trail and not raise a puff as did fellow returnee S.O.S
Some returning hashers namely Innout, and Moneyshot thought they might do a wee warm up run up Walshs Pyramid before venturing out to hash that night and still getting to the drinkstop before Supa stork who usually beats everybody else. They even managed to beat the friendly dog taking its owner Damien out for his virgin hash trail.
Back at the ponderosa Supa seemed to think "it was a tight arssed trail as there were recycled, recycled trail markings from long past and long used trails from times past. The harriettes just thought they would have nice tight arses from going up all those steep hills.
Charges were all a bit of a blur as the circle was a bit of a blur but the pack attempted to charge their Virgins, returnees and miscreants. By this time the camp fire was burning and hashers were slowly warming after the cold beer and cold creek crossings. Warmed by yummy stew for nosh all was right in the monarchy.

SuperStalk's Duplock Dawdle - run 1813

A reasonable size pack took off from Duplock Park in Aeroglen for Super's run. Some short-cutted, some did not want to tackle the hill that turned out to be only 150m at the most!! The runners and some of the walkers completed the trail and came back on THE NEW BIKE PATH.
Run report from Defeotus - well set trail, bike path - through back of mountain - along the creek missing the crocodiles - score 2.5
Charges - Twisted Sista for leaving her umbrella at Money Shot's run weeks and weeks ago!
JC - using mobile phone when he should have been in the circle.
Crunchy, Betty Boop and Sonic Beep for prowling around parks in the dark and then turning up late and not being strippers.
Knee Tembler's charge from Dancing Queen for being a short cutting b..... backfired on her!
No Way for ignoring Helmet and Prickle Magnet at the traffic lights after they beeped the horn, waved and did all but drive into her.
Awards - Run of the Month - Wait a While
Prick of the Week - Lost and Found - just 'cos.
Raffles - JC and Far Canal
Next week's run - Pro's place 5pm start.
On on
1800 run is 19 – 20 August at Pussy Palace, details in "Breaking News". There will be a committee meeting 2 July & 6 August at 12 noon at the Cape York Hotel to discuss this further. All are urged to attend.

Plaything's Panarama - run 1812

Cairns Hash welcomed sometime returnee Heavenly Harriette Plaything for her inaugural virgin Cairns trail. And a well-marked trail it was too. Clear markings, good sized arrows, nice steep hill to start with (hello nico) long, flat strait for three runners. Regroups and checks that kept the pack entertained. Stand in G.M Crunchy crack brought the circle to order. Concrete rod was seen to be returning from trail before the pack had actually left so what that was about we don’t know. VISITOR.....Rubber Dick from Gladstone was welcomed. Madame Slash`s run report was concise “i didn’t run......we used torches and it went to plan" J.C gave his run report and it was even more concise....." was interesting?? In fact it was a very well done trail and as plaything was busy putting the littlies to bed Handbrake took the charge for the hare. Pro`s wit was razorsharp that evening as he reminded the pack that Robyn was another name for hashcash which thus reminded him he needed to pay
Returnee...Concrete Rod, Plaything, Pimp
Virgin....Plaything, and J.C as his virgin named run.
Charges.....Tooty frooty to Rubber Dick for smoking in the circle and Twistys P.D.A with said offender.
Plaything to weed or mole for supplying such crappy quality chalk as evidenced by broken fingernails and piles of crushed chalk on trail.
Pro for his senses of misdirection and attempting to do the trail in his car.
Noway for having loose shoelaces which caused pro to attempt the trail in his car????
Concrete for talking to Betty and confusing her.
Betty for listening to concrete and being confused.
Concrete Rod also took home the concrete cock.
The run of the month garment is still with tackle.
Raffles to twisty and mole.

Wait a While's Wistful Wander - run 1811


There seemed to be much dissent and lively discussion about the possibilities of where the trail could have gone. Did it exist? What did the markings mean? Some went here, some went there. Some didn’t go anywhere at all. It was a busy cripple’s corner while the pack was away.
Wait a while was non plussed about all this. He had au pair help for the evening so life couldn’t have been sweeter. Wait a while had the charming Dutch travellers slaving away over the nosh preparation and it was the highlight of the evening.
RUN SCORE 4.5/11.....RUNNERS. 3.5 WALKERS... don’t know why, it just is.
Returnees.....nice to see Steph again, KTrembler, Bumpa stick her, Supa, Betty and Crunchy.
Media tart award to go to Helmet for prize winning and to Supa for not being misquoted. Madame Slash for being disguised at a love in or was it just a wheel barrow race.......had to type these dam notes twice coz the cat just sat on the keyboard........anyhoo.
Charges...Elena for meeting W.W and Chopper at the MT.Garnet races and believing everything they told her. YES!!! We are a fit, young pack of super elite athletes.
Elena again for choosing to stay at W.A.Ws when she could have been staying at a castle in Belgium with fit young elite athletes....Supa for dangerous running by wearing black on a black night.
Twisty for backwards necklace wearing
A Serious moment.... The R.A told us a story about a man who was a carpenter. He fished a lot and went in boats a lot. He could also walk on water as there is a lot of it where he lives up on a mountain. He cares not for officialdom and legalities and thus this man named Geoff should be known as Jaycee, J.C or Just Cash, depending on your religious persuasion.
ON ON Chopper.......ooops the cat sat on the qwerty again.

MOLE’S MORPHOLOGICAL (study of form, structure etc) RUN - RUN 1810

A smaller than usual, but very keen, group assembled at the Kewarra Beach Base for the usual Mole adventure through bush, shiggy, and dark roads…..
Supa’s run report saying it was a long run where he was almost Supa-exceeded by the returnee, Toolbox, who was keen to make the run even longer!!! She even swore a reasonably unused swear word in hash “Gosh” at an ‘On Back’. What the…! He then (lied – oops) told falsies about the walkers not having crossed the creek – how would he know when he was so far ahead of them I ask? Then there was too much concrete after that to run around on, and eventually to the drink-stop at the beach only to find that two of the walkers had got there before him!!! 1.5 awarded.
Returnee Garcon said the group left himself, Tutti and Mofl behind at the creek where the senior walking members had a little difficulty in navigating the water-crossing-with-hazards, however they soldiered on through the dark grassy track, through the park and onto the road to start walking ‘on home’ when along came Mole with the HHH drink-stop bus and kidnapped them down to the beach. They left the drinkstop to walk on-home just as the runners arrived! No idea which way the other walkers went! 7,5

Returnees; Toolbox, Concrete Rod, and Garcon after about 5 years since his bad biking accident.
Charges: Mole for setting trail! : Lost & Found to Twisty for calling many, many times “Are you sure you are on”.: Defeatus for giving too may directions while actually standing on the ‘three-way-optional’ sign : Mole charged Tutti and Garcon for asking for a ride – wrong, she kidnapped us I say!
On another matter Weed charged ManuManu for trying to grab a better looking bag off the carousel at the airport.
Notices: Harriettes AGPU – all welcome to the Bare Foot Bowling at the Cairns Bowls Club, Toogood Road Woree on 25th May, 2011. Bring along your softest bare feet!
Bike Hash has been delayed for another week, according to Losty.
Nash Hash : Big thanks to Weed for wrapping-up the financial details of the Cairns Nash Hash and thanks to all who made it such a great success!
Great nosh, as usual, was then served up…………….On, on………… Tutti


Mole’s Magnificent run

A fairly intimate pack turned up at Kewarra Beach for the run of the century. The pack started off up the street, a few false trails to keep the pack together and then on down through the creek. There were a few pikers who decided they couldn’t cross 6 inches of water and chickened out. Anyway the brave (or the foolhardy) soldered on for a great run home. Back at the circle defetaus had his moment of glory..... and ran the circle in Helmet’s absence. Most of the runner made the drink stop at the beach , but Losty was found meandering around the neighbourhood later that evening. Apparently he was asking for directions!!? There were charges back at the circle and all were made to drink the remnants of the drink stop as penance. Charges were laid. The new dog got a charge for replacing the old dog. To top it all off it rained after the run and not during so the RA got a prepreive, as did jeff but wait till next week.... Great nosh followed with cake and custard for dessert. On On – the mystery note taker

Spread’em spreads ’em out on a run - run 1809

Spread’em spreads ’em out on a run A beautiful evening at Holloway’s Beach as hashers gathered – and were sent off on trail with advice ‘ trail is marked in BLUE and RED arrows, with the runner’s trail a little longer than the walkers – and yes, there is a drink stop ‘. Runner’s report from Mole who admitted she arrived a little late and tried to follow the little, wee, blue arrows but finally lost trail and ‘it was a boring run’. Walker’s report from Mofl – tried to follow the LITTLE blue arrows but finally couldn’t track them down so pack wandered about. Not a bad walk but no drink stop as promised. Well this is hash and things can change! Mole then demonstrated that bigger is certainly better by showing pack how to mark huge, clear arrows with a 5 ft long piece of white chalk! (Obviously stolen from a building site somewhere!) Helmet was heard to ask if the other coloured chalk in the box were the same size! Anyone planning on setting a run in the near future would be advised to ask Mole to supply said chalk!
Returnees: Skiddy, Steph, Hat-trick;
Visitors: (and returnee) Pythagararse from Townsville.
Virgin: Tracy.
Charges: Helmet charged NoNickers for sitting in the circle. Crunchie charged the hare – just because. Twisty sort of charged herself for being a slackarse and not mentioning to the pack last week re Nom-de-Plume’s birthday. Bonvoyage Nommy, have a great holiday in Europe. NoWay charged Dancing Queen for something – well anything really! Wait-a-While was charged just for being WaW. Dancing Queen charged Tracy for not wearing hash attire. Defetus charged Losty for not getting lost or being found – how unusual! SuperStork was instructed by Helmet to produce a hash name for Jeff (from Bellenden Ker) however as this was most unexpected by our RA, and as no-one else could suggest a suitable name – watch this space!
Notices: Saturday 4th June – Cairns Harriettes will be holding their second sausage sizzle outside Harvey Norman’s – looking for support from everyone! Also that the AGPU for Cairns Harriettes with be held on 25th May at the Cairns Bowls Club, Toogood Road. Tackle requested confirmation from the circle to have XXXX beer in a Keg at our 1800 and your Committee is also seeking suggestions for entertainment at the 1800 Run.
Well Spreadem’ there may have been some scathing remarks about the ‘blue and red chalk arrows’ but everyone really enjoyed the salubrious nosh at the beach. Well done!
On, on…………..Tutti

Helment's Holiday Run - run 1808

The pack assembled at Helmet and Prickle Magnet’s abode at the earlier time of 5pm because we can and because it was a public holiday! About 5.20 we were on our way along the paths and streets of Forrest Gardens. Numerous checks and a couple of false trails were all part of the fun. On and on we trudged up and down hills until the welcome sign DS came in to view. Yeah right the drink stop was at the top of a hill with Helmet standing by the car watching us all (except those who short-cutted) trudge over the vacant blocks to the drink stop, all this was instead of Tootie who decided to go up the road and then still had to come through long grass and sensitive weed! A great view and a lovely breeze greeted us as we sipped our refreshment.
Back home to nibbles and the circle got underway. As Helmet was the hare he passed the GM duties to Defeotus who once again tried to get us to stand in the circle – didn’t work!!
Returnees: Tootie from the wilds of Yeppoon, Chopper and Big Bazza.
Awards: Defeotus was presented with the concrete pr… which he claims he accidently left at some other hash run. He then awarded it to No Way for not bringing Losty to hash when she knew he had no car!!
Run of the month awarded to Tackle for the Anzac Day run which he claims he does not remember much about.
Phone call: Losty phoned during the circle to tell us nothing about next week’s run only that it will be on the web page!!
Charges: Tootie charged Twisty for something about men chatting like women on the run and then not doing the check herself.
Chopper charged Wait a While for being talked into going to Mt Garnet races to meet up with No Knickas and Not Yet who haven’t been there for the last 12 years!!
The short-cutters were duly charged for their crime
Can’t remember any other charges ….
Raffle: Twisted Sista won a beautiful pair of bright green shorts while No Knickas took out the bottle of wine.

Betty Boop spoke about the sausage sizzle at IGA which is a fund raiser for our team in the Relay for Life.

1800 run is 19 – 20 August at Pussy Palace, details in "Breaking News". There will be a committee meeting 28 May at 12 noon at the Cape York Hotel to discuss this further. All are urged to attend.
Winter Ball 9 July at the Germania Club – cost $25 per head. All money (can be in instalments) to Hash Cash. Flyer in "Breaking News"


It was an excellent turn out for a 4pm start on Anzac /Easter Monday with an also excellent trail. The pack turned up with Anzac attire or in BoPeeps case very delightful bunny ears. The trail began up Moignard Street and there were a myriad of checks to keep the pack busy. The trail continued in this vein and even a sneaky false trail ensued which Betty checked out with Mofl, Geoff and Noway. Such a sneaky falsie it was as the only means of escape from the train track trail was the gate and fence which required clambering over. This we did and on we went. There was drain , creek , slopes and some slops too and even an ankle twisting which Moley was most upset about. Back at the Keg the pack enjoyed the little boys and the circle began.
VIRGINS...Catherine and Indra were welcomed (the goat was pleased had something to do).
Returnees....Bopeep and Juggler There was some confusion with the run report as we were not sure if there were two nuns on a train or the trail went down a drain. Noway continued with her run report insisting she went with Christine through a pristine stream but alas she was confused as there was no Christine and she went through a murky creek. Such was the frivolity of the night. Mole twisted her ankle and Bopeep got a sympathy injury to keep her company. All those not in Anzac attire were charged and Geoff was charged for hiding behind Not yet trying to avoid a charge. Spreadem was charged for not going on the run as did Wait a while and Farcanel who were charged for failing to take their charge. Spreadem was also charged for not getting wet and Bopeep was charged for impersonating a playboy bunny.
A top nosh as always and a bumper night for raffle prizes too. Keep your eyes and ears open for further updates about the hash ball. Cairns 1800th run was confirmed as Saturday the 20th August at the Pussy Palace, Crystal Cascades.

No Way & Losty's Run - run 1806
No notes or photos this week. A good time was had by all!!

Manu Manu's Meandering at Machans - run 1805

Goannas run report reported that the markings were far between so it was a casual kind of trail which was good as she was feeling slack. Lucky ol` slack we said. Goanna was promptly told by Manu that she needed to go to an eye specialist as there was plenty of chalk. A walkers report was called for and the general consensus was ..there was one? Run score was 1/10 but stand in GM Defeotus gave an added score of 1/10 for the yummy drinkstop. Defeotus stamped his authority on the circle as stand in and soon called for any Returnees which turned out to be Moley.
Virgins were called for and Geoff from the vicinity of Babinda and a very active bushwalker was soon called forth and showed no fear towards the sacrificial goat. He stamped his authority on the pack by keeping up with the runners. Well done.
Run report from the Innisfail 1600th weekend was reported and the resounding unanimous decision was ...It was a top weekend with nearly 40 attendees. A great party to follow the wet run with goodie bags and lots of nosh.
Charges....Betty charged Goanna for feeling slack and not telling us what he felt like. Defeotus to Spreadem for doing the walkers trail but kitting herself out in a multi pocket utility bum bag. Weed charged Handbrake for watching him go into an outdoor shop to purchase a poncho to have on the Innisfail weekend then promptly opening her bag and revealing a ready supply of ponchos. Moley to Manu for being miserly with the chalk. Manu promptly told Moley where to venture off to next. Twisted to Nomi for not tinkling on the trail as Nomi is usually wont to do and also for loud shorts wearing.
Many announcements were made as there is much already on the hash calendar. A proposal to incorporate the Red Dress run possibly into the Festival Cairns Parade. Our 1800th run will probably be at the Pussy Palace in Redlynch with a theme for the Pussy Run being Bordello. Winter Ball.... Due to the fun and the popularity of the ball last year enquiries are in progress to see what dates are available at the Germania Club and discussions are under way within the Germania committee to accept our proposal. Enquiries are continuing for a Dj to be hired and this will increase the cost of the event but the music will be much better. The Ball will not go ahead for less than 40 people so start putting some extra money away each week to cover the cost Am hoping to keep the cost to 20-25 dollars. A proposal to get a corporate box together for the A.F.L Match at Cazalys for the 19th July. Keep your eyes and ears open for further updates.


It was wet, cold, it rained alot and drinkstop was something orange. Thus were the words of the venerable Mr.P. Rostitute when asked to give the nights run report. These words were in fact true as it was a wet ,soggy, drizzly ,sodden night. Helmet praised Mofls quick thinking and foresight in producing cheat sheets as trail marking. It was a memorable night for the aforementioned reasons and the fact that it was a fun night because the pack were huddled under the teeny toilet block shelter.
The trail went up Freshwater road and past the Red Beret Hotel. Round the back and along that long road, past short street and a turn into Larsen road. A soggy drink stop in the woolies car park. Returning visiting runner Plucka was amazed to discover this whole new area of Redlynch that didn’t exist back in his Cairns hashing daze.
Along Intake road the trail continued until the skateboard park. A few digs , drops, and tricks later the pack finished showing off their boarding skills and wandered on back to Freshwater swimming hole for soggy popcorn and yummy cob loaf.
RETURNEES....Welcome back to Plucka, Pendinga, Defeotus and Choppa.
CHARGES........Pro was charged with impersonating Maid Marion (..i`m late!!) Choppa charged Crunchy with umbrella stealing.Mole charged Plucka for wearing pink and having a dry shirt. Accusations of not going on the run were bandied about but Betty was forced to corroborate Pluckas story by proving he did in fact go on the run.The pack charged Supa for dereliction of duty. Defeotus did a very admirable job of stand in Mctaf...(..Shud up!!) Weed was a very admirable stand in keg master.
Choppa announced his Phuket hash celebratory weekend in June and his availability of his chauffer service. Talk to Chopper for further info.
The hash Mid-Winter Ball ....Usually a Bi annual affair but the proposal is to put it on again this year due to the popularity of the event. All interested persons see Betty, Crunchy or Lesson or ACDC at trinity hash.
As a result of the committee meeting held at the Cape york hotel on Sat 2 the run is now $12 per week. This will be reviewed in June to see how we are doing financially.

On on


Betty and Crunchys clean out the freezer for Lent - run 1803

This run could also be known as the NEVER MIND THE TRAIL NIGHT such was the low importance of the trail .All the same the trail began out in the backblocks of Edmonton and swept past the back of ex hasher Camels house. Onto the pathway and up onto the back blocks of vacant land and scrub. Up up a ridge and across the flour was strewn. There was shiggy, sweat, hills scrub, pathway, ditches, and finally a swim stop to cool off. Many drinks in the pool later the new GM Helmet took charge. Supa gave an outstanding run report as befitting an outstanding run so it scored a 2/10.Outstanding!!!!
Returnees....Helmet, Prickle, Madame slash, Masterbates
Charges......Twisty to crunchy for no hash attire but charge was reversed as it was revealed crunchy was wearing a hash necklace. Helmet charged Ooops for a media tart award but a standin was called so Handbrake accepted the charge as she has the same hair colour. Masterbates charged Haberdash Prickle for unpicking Nash hash shirts that conveniently unravel. Supa proved that Masterbates had unwittingly discovered the hashes secret of unpicking only all of Townsville hashes shirts. Clever hey!!! Mofl was praised for choosing to celebrate her 44th wedding anniversary at hash.
Raffles...Twisted and tooty.
Commitee meeting at Cape York hotel Saturday 2nd April to discuss the fee issue and proposed 1800th celebration run .
ON ON Fetish.

Madness at Maytown - run 1802

Monday night at Moneyshots turned out to be a rather drizzly night but that didn’t dampen the spirits of the pack who turned up in droves to enjoy a Moneyshot run. The only dilemma was Innout had to run like the clappers to stay ahead of the runners in the pack as the trail needed to be reset due to inclement weather. Still, Innout would of had no problem doing that being the fit runner that he is and scribe believes the hare returned even before the pack had got to Jensen St., that’s how fit we`re talking. Off the pack went to find trail freshly marked with chalk on powerpoles (no, not the powerpole).This we did and into the depths of Whitfield we went. All along JensenST after trailing past Polenz, Keirle, and all those little byways in between. A quick stop at Edgehill bowls club for a short end or two of bare foot bowls while waiting for the walkers to catch up. On past the Latter Day Saints Church and past that nice former church converted to a house. Visitors Reverse Thrust and Bedspringer who were amazed to see Betty having a go at running. As was Manu, but Betty assured them all it wouldn’t happen again. On around Kevin St, the pack sang Powerpole a hymm before continuing up Woodward St. and down onto Pease. The runners split and enjoyed a trail by Centenary lakes and the walkers ambled down Pease to return to Maytown and the unit complex and waiting pool. Manu took the circle as our new GM was required at work as was the popular Fetish who was charged with no hash attire due to choosing work attire instead.
Visitors.....still glad to have Reverse thrust and Bedspringer via Noosa.
Virgin........Moneyshots Dad, Frank , who the pack were pleased to meet. Also Innouts co-hare mate whose name scribe forgets...apologies.
According to Goannas run report it was an excellent trail and well-marked and enjoyable to run. The runners ran together and the walkers walked together except Mctaf and Bettyboop who found walkers trail then lost it and did the trail in reverse.
Charges....Tooty to Kotex for hiding her birthday. Nogat to Nommy for disappointing him by sloshing water over him and missing certain parts of his anatomy. Twisty for attempting to do something with willies or with someone called William. Mofl to Innout for no hash attire but it was reversed as it was deemed appropriate for Innout to be shirtless according to certain harriettes. P.O.W....from Moley to Moneyshot ..can’t remember why tho.
Lively discussion ensued upon mention of the need to raise fees again to $15 as opposed to $12 which was also discussed at the previous weeks A.G.P.U. Some members of the pack voted to agree to this fee due to rising costs but the issue remains unfinalised due to the committee needing to discuss the issue fully and present their findings to all of the pack with the benefit of the GM being present..
Top nosh was had a great trail.
ON ON Meatballs

OR ....AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 FOODS - run 1801
An excited pack gathered at 325 McCoombe street A.K.A.TREMBLERS HOUSE OF MULTI CULTURAL CUISINE. The trail may have started in local Mooroolbool but it eventually diverted to many a varied country at the end. The run report may have been a "good but a bit short as far as running goes" according to Moneyshot. It was given a 2/10. Quite generous really but the pack were just eager to get back to the keg and begin enjoying the noshy delights. True, hash isn’t about the nosh but the AGPU night was. So there. The pack began their trail de cuisine in France and South America with stops on the way to Japan and Morocco. The gastronomic trail continued onto Jamaica via the Middle East and the Mediterranean. More nosh trail continued via the Tropical North ,travelling on through Australia with a pudding stop in Olde England.
As it happened there were still some virgins, visitors and returnees.
VIRGIN..... The young and lovely Blair
VISITORS...Matt from New York.
RETURNEES...Reverse Thrust from Noosa, nice to enjoy your company again. Our popular Goanna, tooty, kotex,twisty and concrete rod and our very welcome long lost ex GM Pennisimo and Fourtitsimo.
ANNIVERSARY RUN.....Lost and found has lost and found trail with cairns hash 100 times already.
Charges....Defeatus and Helmet both charged moneyshot for changing her name to Moneyslot for losing her job and having to perform lapdances for the very lucky Fetish. Pro to K.T for promising Korean strippers and failing to deliver. Helmet to Manu for failing to wear the garment of the month on the run. Concrete cock went to Defeatus because we could. Run of the month Garment went to Dancing Queen.. a very popular choice.
As far as the AGPU goes this is the end result.
And a fine commitee they are too.
on on Pussy bob.


Its too long for me! exclaimed Nommy....:and it was too hard:...serious words from a serious hasher. Soon the pack realised Nommy meant the trail and not ...£££!!!.Due to heavy monsoonal downpours down pouring Handbrake enlisted the help of very fit hasher Inn Out to set a live trail... that and the fact handbrake didn’t finish work till 5 o clock. sheesh!... work..! And long and hard it was. Good loooong stretches of trail, clearly marked, well thought out, a giant hill in there for a good cardio workout and a hard long trail for the return. Walkers and runners were all satisfied all the way from Mahogany street via all sorts of Inn Out ways. Pimps run report "well, it was all right but it was too long for me" Handbrake and InnOut were duly charged.
Raffles...Lost and found, Madame Slash and Handbrake.
Events...Innisfails 1600th was decided the pack should all pile on a bus to the weekend and all pile on a bus back from the eventn names and monies to handbrake.
Charges...Supa, Not Yet and Crunchy for all trying too hard to advertise the fact they had all gone down south to Tassie by mutual Tshirt wearing. Money shot to Betty for new shoes.( and very nice new shoes they were to) Supa to Nowat for showing some sort of sympathy for something or some one( shes such a nice lady) Kneetrembler for talking Slashie and Moneyshot for no hash attire. Mole to Losty for having no confidence in InnOuts run setting capabilities. Losty chased the hare to make sure there was enough chalk to mark trail. Innout to handbrake for shirking her trail setting duties Kerry and Dancing queen for demanding eight pages of trash every week from scribe. Just coz Burnie hash get six pages of trash on a weekly basis .....sheesh!!!

P.O.W ...went to mole for causing anguish and distress to a fellow hasher. Concrete cock went to InnOut because it was long and hard.

Pimps Country Affair - Run 1797

We were a bit slow off the mark as a few of us got lost finding Pimps lovely abode. But PRO was out the front enticing all in. The runners took off like a bolt and could not be heard from or seen for dust. The track was reasonably well marked with lots of soggy toilet paper except for the odd arrow on the fence well spotted by Manu Manu. The scenery was enjoyable as we walked along some nice streets, past some paddocks with one Brahman bull and many cows – don’t mess with that one, then through a bit of train track where we thought we would be stranded as trail was hard to find and no-one called on-on. “Are we there yet” was heard a few times not by Maid Marion, but walkers found home with all the runners frolicking, er cooling off in the pool. Pimp scored 2/10 coz everyone enjoyed the run. In-out complimented Pimp on the run – no false trail, re-groups or other time wasters! Money shot was indignant about people getting her name right – it’s NOT money SLOT get it right folks. Prickle magnet and Helmut were excited about going to Nash Hash. Nommie was staying low key with the camera- great pics thanks Nommie. Returnees ....none I think.
......... Handbrake nearly took off waving her elbow so much as she charged No Way for “CRAFT” – Can’t remember a f#%@n thing – she forget to bring the beautiful notice Mole coached her to print, forgot the camera, forgot to bring paper to writes notes. Money shot and Kerri charged for no hash attire. Manu manu charged the runners for not calling us on. Someone charged Helmut for something.
Manu Manu was excited winning first prize of 4 cans of beer and Super excited with his sloppy second prize??
Awards:... none.
Nosh was excellent – burgers and salad on rolls. A fun night with a rowdy pack.

Dancing Queens Dawdle - run 1796

A good sized pack ventured to new premises in Edmonton, eing the apartment complex of the lovely Dancing Queen. Out the pack went from the complex and up Mt Peter Road to find themselves at the busy Mill Road roundabout. Over we went and then promptly confused but not to be deterred the pack found trail over another busy intersection and into Queens Road .how appropriate. Down the underpass still covered in cyclone debris and back onto the highway, the runners went left and the walkers went right. Round and about we went and inn and out (no, not THE inn and Out) finally coming out at Badilla and ambling up Mt Peter Road again. A cooling swim in the pool before rabble began. D.Q. scored an interesting score, 0/10 because Sups thought it was such an easy cruisy run for the runners and a not to long walk.
Returnees ....Kerry returned from running hash on Magnetic Island, and that’s about all there were.
Charges.........hmm, let me think. Scribe forgot the pen so it’s all a bit blurry. D.Q charged Mctaf for misdirecting the entire pack and sending them the wrong way.(NO, NOT THE HASHER. Mctaf and Betty Boop for snoggin` was a valentines run. Sod on me for wearing his gay...lee coloured pink Melbourne ladies singlet and looking reeeeely ..well ..GAY. Not yet charged himself for failing to remember to buy valentine flowers and chocs for NoNickers. Betty to Mole for not finding Bettys notes that she sends but that could have also gone to Mofl, which it did because she also keeps such a low profile. Tooty charged Mctaf for being a real indian giver and making her return her raffle prize of a handy folding chair which in fact was Dancing Queens. Kotex insisted on charging Twisty for stealing and drinking her raffle prize from Friday night.
Awards... concrete cock to Tackle for being reely loud. Dancing Queen enjoyed receiving the prick of the week and Weed got something or a charge in there for something else. A fun night with a rowdy pack.
ON ON Spreadem. On On

Mutiny and Bounty’s waterfrolics - run 1795

It was at last Mutiny and Bountys turn to set a blazing hash trail which they looked forward to with much anticipation.The packed floated into Twistys flooding abode due to the enormous deluge that was lashing cairns.The R.A was going to face some serious charges for dereliction of duty.Out into the downpour we went we could barely make out faint chalk marks on power poles( no,not the hasher ), and whatever else the chalk would stick to we went up Greenslopes Street, slopped along here and there and had a hard time of it finding checks and any markings of any sort. some of the pack thought it went in a park, other made it up another giant hill and others down into Mcmanus Street. Dont ask scribe how but some found a semblance of a trail and shot of. Moneyshot ran such a fast trail choppa charged her with disapointing him by not being anywhere near wet enough to be a part of the wet tshirt brigade.Somehow the trail did continue for Fetish ,money, Innout,Losty,Manu, even the doomed R.A. Back at the fiesta hut the pack attempted to dry of and wade through the slop to get a down down.
It was soon revealed the Hare was Moley setting a live trail as mutiny and Bounty hadnt even landed back in Cairns from yatchting duties down south .
Choppa, said couple,Moneyshot and Metro were welcomed as returnees.
Choppa charged Crunchy ,DQ Nommy ,Betty and Bounty for not entering the wet tshirt competition.Not yet charged Losty and Manu for not calling the trail that was miraculously found. The pack charged the R.A with rain on trail.Dancing Queen charged the R.A with dissapointing her and Crunchy by telling them not to look at the shirtless fit young blokes working out on there verandah.Crunchy could have got married that night.
Run of the Month was awarded to Manu and the lovely Toolbox
Concrete Cock given Mutiny and Bounty.Losty still has the soft cock award. He likes it a lot.Raffles held over as there were no prizes that week.

Manu Manu's Earlville Escape - run 1794
No notes so far I am sure they will come - you never know.......
A small band of Hashers met in the salubrious surrounds of Lions Park - next to KFC at Earlville. They trudged the roads of Earlville and returned to a beautiful meal cooked by the lovely Toolbox. No Knickas had a great time on the swings, Manu wasted hash booze while Helmet was practising to be a D... H...

Hill.... what hill?? - run 1793
Not much in the way of notes this week, but that’s because it was decided that an average hash man only has a 7 day memory. That was downgraded to 4 days when it was confirmed that no one could remember where last Mondays run was. It was then remembered that Betty Boop and McTaff has the plates, knives and forks so we all agreed the average hashmans memory span is 5 days. It was also remembered that the run had bloody big hill, swampy bits and some cane farms and some creeks, no regroups or drink stop but it didn’t rain so that was a very big plus. Also the nosh wasn’t bad so that earned GCG a score of somewhere between 2 & 6. There were charges and some awards things. I think there was a visitor, Borealis, from India and that’s all this hash man can remember. It’s now 7 days since that event happened and this hashman’s memory doesn’t go that far. 
On On someone else with a better memory scribe 
How the notes should read!!!
Way up the giant Figtree drive hill the pack heaved only to be met by an even more giant driveway to get down to Cummys. Up we heaved again to start trail. Big Bazza was done just getting up and down the driveway. To the end of Figtree, down a secret slope (giant) to come out at the back of Caravonica state school. Twitterings of @ooh.. spiders ...ooh taipans...ooh my shoes are muddy....were heard. Into slop, shiggy rushing streams of slop and water the pack ploughed. Through scrub and ending up on Kamerunga road. Over the highway and straight up Redford road alongside canfields. The long slog continued to the other side of the canefarm and around down into the old Smithfield cemetery. A swing low was sung to show reverence and the pack trudged on. Meanwhile runners continued back into Caravonica and on into Illawarra street and around the traps and walkers trudged the short way but up the giant hill we all had to return. Visitor Borealis from Delhi hash was seen streaking ahead of nearly all the front runners even along Figtree. Did scribe mention it’s a giant hill?.....Anyway.....puffing and panting back we got to cummys and all fell in a heap. Bazza was still in a heap where we left him. 
RETURNEES..........C.B.F .,FETISH AND INNOUT ,TACKLE, CONCRETE ROD AND SPINNYFEX, were all down downed and BOREALIS was given a down down for visiting and showing us all up with his running prowess. Goanna thought the runn was a goodun but still scored the run a 2/10 Walkers liked the walk although there were concerns about leeches in the water. (They are called hashers dear reader) 
CHARGES.........strangely Cummy charged Pro with abusing (or using) the double donger. Tackle charged Cummy for upsetting a poor truck driver by not answering Lone Wolfs incesscent C.B radio calls. Innout was charged with lurking and fence crawling around Caravonica school. Cummy charged Deefeetus for not being at the run coz it was his own birthday so Fetish made an excellent stand in. Many awards were handed out. Cummy got the double donger. Losty got the soft cock award coz he was soft. Bazza gave the giant concrete cock to Handbrake for making him go all the way down the hill to give hash cash his money. Borealis took lots of photos and we all had a jolly good time. 

OOPS LOOP DE LOOP - run 1792
The walkers went left down Woodward St and the runners went right. The trail diverged and they went their own merry way. The runners went up streets, round and looped here and there and found their way back onto Pease st. Continuing along to return to Woodward. In fact there were so many sneaky loops scribe has gotten confused. Gasping for a drink stop, none was found except trail through the cemetery and into a trail through the swamp, complete with lots of slop and shiggy. Having wet runners up Anderson st, onto Cannon st and the secret drink stop was revealed. A long slog back to chez Oops via more loops. Dancing Queen's run report gave 3/10. Knee Trembler thought it was the best set run he had been on for years! 6/10. High praise indeed. Oops downed her down down so fast she didn't realise it was beer.
Returnees: Goanna + Happy Feet welcomed back.
Visitors: Tuff Titties was amazed at how long our circle went for. 
Many charges followed but the scribe has blathered on too much for this typist to make out what she has written. If you were there then you know what happened!! Pro got the double donger. All Harriettes welcome to attend lunch at a venue TBA on Sat 12th Feb, time TBA. oN oN

Bumpa Stikhers Moowooga Madness - run 1791
An eager pack ventured to Moowooga Street which is set deep in the leafy suburb of Earlville. The trail began right into Moowooga and wound its way to the hidden pack that’s tucked in there. Over the park and onto a steep descent and down an embankment. So steep was this embankment spanning a fast flowing but shallow creek, Handbrakes legs were seen flapping wildly while Mctaf was dragging her up said embankment by her outstretched arms. Up a few more Harriettes were dragged until some spied the private bridge scanning the embankment at the back of someone’s property. With cries of Everybody over the bridge, the remainder trampled. Urged on by OOPS, the councillor to know all things councilly, the pack continued on through the huge hidden park until we came up and out onto Granadilla drive. This is where it all goes a bit wobbly as runners went left up Granadilla and walkers went right. WAIT ... NO... IT WAS THE OTHERWAY ROUND .Anyhoo.....the pack found their way to a large drain. Cummy and Defetus checked it all out and told us politely where to go. We did and it turned out to be a giant falsie or we did the trail back to front. Meanwhile Mctaf was directing traffic and the pack onto Henley kind. Off we went and wended our way along Henley and onto Balaclava Road. Drink stop sign was sited but no drink stop thus far. Bumper finally appeared sans drink stop to actually drink as she left it at home. On the pack sweated back to the keg. Back at the keg the circle welcomed returnee Pullthru and a virgin who’s name escapes scribe at this juncture. Bumpa got a score (lucky thing) and the circle continued. Mctaf was charged for using the ruse of helping Harriettes up the embankment just for a cheap perve. True True said Mctaf. Mctaf charged Tooty for using his helping hand services to help straighten her back out. Handbrake charged Mctaf for giving her Orang-utan arms. Ooops was finally remembered as a returnee. More charges in there somewhere but important business to be done. Supa was charged with a renaming of Gay Cum Gargler but the pack unanimously voted to keep his very special and unique name. Lucky bugger. Another naming for a long lost returnee of the lovely Kelly offspring of the delightful Prickle and Helmet and Hat trick was decided. Something to do with a family threesome somewhere. Prickle gave the wet willy award to a very important person and dancing queen gave the giant willy award to another important person and that’s all scribe can remember.
TA TA for now, ..Xrated

BOGFEST 2011 - run 1790

 It was with anticipation the pack ventured up a wet and soggy Gillies Highway for the honour of enjoying the first Cairns Hash Run of the new decade. Proudly sponsored by Prostitute and long lost returnee Pimp.The Mountain View Hotel along side the Gillies is a fabulous scenic rural spot full of creeks ,The Little Mulgrave River, bog, shiggy ,forest ,farms ,properties, hills, bog ,cow poo, horse poo, stinging trees, more poo, slop, slopes .perfect hashing country. The run will head off at 3pm sharp. Don’t be late or that’s it ....warned Pro. The diversity of the terrain was the reason for the prompt start and also the possibility of a different means to get the pack to the actual start of the trail. Sometime well after 3pm the chalk talk began...We’ve had a cyclone go through so the trail isn’t there anymore and parts of the trail are too dangerous....Ominous words. The pack piled back into their cars ,drove a couple of kilometres up Orchid Valley Road, parked beside the furiously rushing Little Mully River at Piccolos bridge and off we went into the threatening downpour. Cummy, Losty and Defeatus went looking for anything that resembled trail and off the pack trudged. Trail found it turned right, on up and past Kreels Creek, Leonis Crossing and past the horse riding adventure stables. Across their horse paddocks and trails and on down a steep gully emerging onto more horse territory. By now Defeatus was hearing strains of Duelling Banjos and was fearing for his life and his virginity. Pimp and Defeatus tore away and the pack stumbled on. Over fields, paddocks, over electric fences, past the stampeding mob of wild horses. Up more hills, through gates,shiggy, bog ,poo, acquiring a stray dog or two on the way.down into secret gullies and dells, splashing through more creeks finding our way back to Piccolos bridge. Sitting and diving into the rushing river was a dangerous but welcome pursuit. Up went the Marquee and the circle began as did the rain. Mutiny’s run report was most apt as was his fair estimation of the trail score. Pimp was downdowned for his efforts returning.Charges were many and varied, confusing made up silly as you do. What they actually were are forever lost as scribes notes disintegrated in the rain. The grog flowed, the river rushed, the rain belted, the bog bogged, pizza scoffed, but a boggy good time was had by all.


Weed’s Run of the Decade - run 1789

No notes there were good photos!!!

CAIRNS Christmas Spectacular - run 1788

A lively pack arrived at Tackles abode on a hot sweaty pre Christmas night. Baubles, tinsel and jingly bells adorned most hashers. The pack left and then they came back. Sometime later, but they came back. Sweating and huffing with tinsel drooping, mutterings could be heard. Great trail, good run, good effort, it was long, it’s hot, I’m stuffed, my baubles fallen off, where’s the grog, I’m f**3ked!!! So, a huge effort put in by our resident kegmaster. Wait till the pack saw the ON AFTERS. Visiting returnees Mcshit and his very delightful partner returned via Bribie Island. Apologies for scribes forgetfulness with names but it was one of those days you know. Visitor Martin was welcomed with open arms (see pics ) On the circle continued. The hare was duly charged for his run and the charges for him continued as it became apparent that animal abuse had been involved. Visions of the actual hare Albie , the fuzzy dog, being sealed in his little doggie bike carrier while sprinkling flour from the rear of his chariot had the pack in tears at the thought of the terrors Albie must have endured for the benefit of the hash. Duly recovered from said visions charges flowed. Visitor Martin was charged for being foolish enough to live just around the corner from Twistys old haunt in the U.K. and still not being able to escape her clutches. Twisty charged for thinking her luck was in with the handsome Martin because he was from HOME. Spreadem charged for copious amounts of talking and W.A.W charged a significant number of the pack for having E.S.P and all going off the rails by wearing their Townsville off the rails t-shirts. Kotex was charged with self aggrandisment by outdoing all the other hashers at hangover attempts by claiming an appendix operation. Rafts of charges were read out and down downs drunk that scribe couldn’t keep up. Twisty kept the P.O.W award. A stupendous Christmas feast was supplied by Tackle and scoffed by the pack.

Spread’em spreads it around - run 1787

Thanks to Spreadum for lumbering us with yet another educational experience with Lostie!!!!! Runners report by someone important called it crap with no understanding of mathematics. Walkers report by Handbrake was much kinder (as Hariettes are!), Awarded a 4 and it was very scenic. Everyone was a little confused by the 360- degree doughnuts! Returnees were Gay Cum Gagga   Also In Out and Money Slot.
Charges from Twisted went to Weed for ,can you believe it, falling asleep at the Trinity party and being refused service at the Cape York Hotel. Charges came from Pro for something yelling out ‘yahoo I got Lostie worked out’ after a 50 m lost trail? Lostie charged Twisted as she reckoned it was all too long? Mole charged the late comers (the young ones) i.e. Gay cum gaga,In Out and Money Shot for obviously being late. Handbrake charged Nom de Plume for indicating the way, as it was all too far.

Announcements:  bike hash Lake Placid next Sunday all welcome! Next run Xmas pre-lube at Tackles.  And last run of the decade at Weeds (see breaking news) 
Awards: Superstork was going to award Money Slot but changed his mind. Instead had to go to Weed for being the designated drinker, as no barman would serve him. Late charge for Dancing Queen and Noway for sitting down (Bumper and Tutti exempt as on official Hash business) 

On on Bumper!  

The Whitehouse Run - run 1786

 Helmut got everyone going by threatening to hose to everyone with the fire hose, “move it or get wet” was the threat! Superstock(a late comer) gave the run report and complained about Losties usual directions. The run consisted of lots of drains, the top ramp at Cairns Central and something about 360 degrees,180 and 90 and Lostie failing geometry. Pro took the lead and overall a whopping score of 8 was awarded. Tuttie gave the walkers report which involved wandering around bushes and Superstock cheating A 2.5 was given but then downgraded to a –17. Visitors joined us from Colombia and Rome, namely BMP and VC both described the run as scenic. Charges were laid by Betty Boop the shy retiring Hariette against Lostie for something to do with water aerobics and balls and of course the charge was reversed by unanimous decision. Dancing Queen charged BMP for short cutting and Defoetus charged Dancing Queen for wearing no pants. Bumper was charged as usual for no hash shirt. Happy Feet charged Noway for having too many checks and wrong ways. Returnees were Prickle and Wait-a-While Awards were given by No Knockers sorry Knickers to Super Stock for picking on all the females and Nogat for being low profile. The raffle was won by Bumper and Handbrake

On On Bumpa Stcker  

Sod's Sodden Saunter - run 1785

The pack left Woodward St, up 100mtrs or so and through a pathway. Past X-rated's former abode, coming out onto Craven close, going onto GreenslopesS. Back onto Collin's Ave thru the botanic gardens boardwalk. Onto Collin's Ave again. It had some of the pack fooled thinking we were going up the red arrow trail. Not so. We went and huffed it up McDonnell st and nearly to the top. Veering left into some scrub more panicked pack thinking we were going deep into the bush. Not so. Onto Walsh St and still up we went to the top of the water tower for drink stop. Great view and it was all downhill from there to home. No Knickers complained about the steepness of the hills and Dancing Queen, Maid Marion, X-rated and Nomi all complained about the scariness of the scrub.

Sod fell off an embankment, and Kotex complained about lack of trail while standing on an arrow. Visitor/Returnee: Bandicoot, Pullthru, Santa a.k.a Big Bazza. 
Not Yet gave his run report saying how surprised he was to be going up a fucking big hill...Duh it's Edge Hill dopey! No Gat was given a down down for waffling, Twisty tried to charged someone for something when in fact she wasn't on the run. Big Bazza for impersonating father Xmas, Crunchy to Twisty for not doing the run, Twisty claimed she had hamstrings, Not so. Not Yet charged Sod for having a new marking, A false false check check.
Koty gave the donger to Sod and the P.O.W to No Knickers.
A swing low and hymns were sung to celebrate the hashing life of Ex Cairns GM and Mr Charisma himself Pile Driver, who now runs with Wolf, Magic and others who follow trail in hashing heaven above. 
On On Baby's Arm  

“It just went on and on and on!!” - run 1784

  ”Thus were the words of Supa when asked to describe Handbrake's trail from Wau close in Trinity Beach. Mind you, the pack did discover vast tracts of new subdivision tucked deep in the formerly blank spaces of Trinity Beach and backing onto Earl hill. We left Wau close, Out onto Kaveing St and a tour of the old 'burbs. Arriving into Shell Harbour Release, through the BlueWater development and thereby discovering Elysian Heights(grove, hills) whichever. On and on and on to finally a watered down drinks stop. Still more on and on. We had gone thru vacant blocks, new blocks, back blocks, back onto Reed rd and it was only 4kms long??? On and on the run report went, 3/10 to Handbrake. 
Manu resumed his authoritative and commanding position of GM. Goat Fucker from Gold Coast was welcomed and Choppa returned from his travels.
Charges: Spread 'Em charged for not consulting the RA before changing Crunchy Crack's name to Crinchy Crick. McTaf charged Handbrake for swearing. (horror!!) Supa charged Phuket for watering down the water stop so much we didn't know what it was. Weed accepted the stand in charge as Phuket was still out looking for the lost runners. There are many more charges but this scribe is sick of writing now.
Kotex got all the awards, and highly deserved too.
ON ON Phantom  

JCU WHERE ARE YOU?????? - run 1783


DEFOETUS' mystery, secret, very private, exclusive, in the know, only trail from some unknown even to Uni students venue. Anyhooooo Now that all the pack know where the student amenities block is and not the student "something else entirely" block in the furthest corner from anywhere. We got underway...or at least first pack did and then the deputy pack arrived and set off and then the assistant vice pack arrived and set off. phew. Right off we went down the back road, by the amphitheatre (who knew) past and down past the mosquito research centre, down into mosquito creek, past the mozzy farm and up to the footy fields into a drain via some scrub. out onto the highway, into the dentistry school where all the late comers had a free teeth clean, Finally we found the start of the run, but by that time everyone was back from the actual run. Maid Marion gave her usual half baked run report. Defoetus was blamed for something, NOGAT was blamed for something else. Nom De Plume gave a short walk report (short boring and confusing) A highlight was the secret surprise gift Defoetus had planned although Nom De Plume didn’t really want or need another October fest beer mug. But it was free so she tucked it away. As always Money shot was charged for talking in the circle. Dancing Queen was charged for ringing up BB on route to the venue, wondering where it was. Mctaf was charged for not knowing who DQ was when BB had hung up the phone. Hence all further hash names were pronounced with a D and Q on the front of there names (confused??? i was!!!) Dumey Quat charged Day Quum garler for having an Afro mullet. DEFOETUS was charged with failing to have his contact number on the committee members list Dunchy Quack for charged for failing to extract the said phone number. Din Quout gave the double donger to De Foetus for having a phone number so secret even de foetus isn’t allowed to know it. Prick of the week was given to NO Way for putting Disted Quister to bed in Townsville thus depriving the pack from much mirth and joviality. We all sang the "who ate all the pies" song a lot. 
Notes by Quastitute 

Supastork's Phantom run - Run 1782

Fantastic PHANTOM run by Supastalk (or was it Mole`). Lots of well marked trail – everyone did the whole run and pasta and salad for nosh. Charges from the run & Townsvilles 1800th to Koty, Dancing Queen, Mole`, Spock, Gay cummy, Spread’em, Defeatus, Pro, Handbrake, Weed, Not yet, no way, Losty, wait a While and lots of others. A virgin, a returnee XRated, NEW SHOES to Crunchy and the genitalia to Goanna and D Queen  
Torrid Times inTownsville for the 1800th Run

Almost at the crack of dawn hashers were still rubbing their sleep filled eyes when standing alongside Bruce Highway waiting for a MYSTERY BUS to appear. It did. The nattily dressed COACH driver helpfully placed all the sleepy hashers luggage into the cargo bay and it continued on its merry way. Pro wasted no time cracking open the keg thoughtfully supplied by the hash and Tooty frooty was seen gleefully pouring champagne into cups for the harriettes. Twisty passed around free magazines for the pack to occupy their minds on the long journey to Townsville’s 1800th weekend run. The pictures in the magazines and jolly puzzles held the pack enthralled. Soon Defeatus and Weed woke from their slumbers at the back of the coach upon smelling the fresh beer. Crunchy cracked open a cider, and Noway enjoyed a refreshing cider also. Kotex and Handbrake tucked into a tipple and Betty was seen to be wine drinking at such an early hour. Losty and Notyet somehow kept a low profile. Mctaff kept an even lower one and laid so low along the coach seats he couldn’t be seen. Phukit was his usual relaxed self and everyone ensured that Wait a while was still alive Dancing Queen danced along the aisles and the fun began. The time to Townsville zoomed by what with all the doing the crosswords, puzzles, drinking, talking, wee stops, drinking, and merriment and d carryon. Arriving in Townsville to a wonderful view of waterbirds, wetlands and waste transfer stations the pack soon realised they had done a false trail even before the real trail began. Back on the real trail and arriving at Pandanus Recreation facility, lunch was served as was more cooling grog. By this time the weather was quite warm and many drinks needed to be drunk to keep the crowd hydrated. Onto the trail and we followed grassy trail and down an embankment to a dry, sandy river bed. Along, and along and along this trail went but soon a rum stop was seen. Up out of the river bed and dry, scrubby trail was found. Over long grass and round the bend the pack went .a strange stop at an old flying fox outpost but more beers needed to be drunk and they were, Back through dense snake country we trailed, down into the riverbed, more sand and soon a kahlua and milk stop was seen along with chocolate and fruit cake. Many brown cows later the trail came back up to find its way back into the venue. Straight into the pool all 80 people fell and the smell of urine was soon detected. The pool water suddenly went warmer than usual but plenty of grog was consumed so what did it matter. Later at the circle history was made with Twisted Sister being placed in the punishment stocks and having her mouth taped up with gaffer tape. STILLL she did not stop blabbing. Stubby was seen to be physically restrained from asking Twisty to kindly keep a low profile but to no avail. Many charges and misdemeanours later the pack the pack went to get dressed for dinner. Only Betty, Crunchy Dancing Queen and T`villes Shattered made an effort to dress off the rails. And damn good they looked too. The party was enjoyed and lots of dancing and sing alongs were heard well into the wee hours. A fun weekend!!

Gathering at Greenslopes  - run 1781
A committee run was organized for the pack at our favourite Greenslops site. Plenty of mosquito repellent was rubbed all over various bits of hashers anatomy before departing on a mystery trail. It was a trail that had many more choices than ever the hare Losty knew about. It appeared to begin with a very long falsie along the boardwalk through the mangrove swamp in the centenary lakes gardens..Back to the last check the pack went. Try again. Some of the pack followed the trail willy nilly. Some of the pack followed it in their own way. Some made up their own trail and Moley followed the trail back ward ,as you do. Mole found the pack on the course of following said backwards trail and liked the idea so much she carried on and left them to their own devices. Defeetus, Pro, Supa obviously found possibly the real trail as they were the last to return. The giving of the run report was a complicated affair but Goanna tried her best to give the most accurate. Visitor Madame Slash even had a run report but forgot it when asked for it so she was given it good and proper.....a down down silly..... 
Returnees ......Wait a while was gleefully welcomed back as was Mctaf. Charges.........Supa stork for dereliction of duty for allowing Wait a while to remane himself Lazarus. Lazarus for self aggrandisement for changing his name without permission. Screwer for constantly returning after announcing his imminent departure down southTwisty because she is Twisty and the pack can.Madame slash, Goanna, Ruffride and Handbrake for trying to keep a really low profile. Oh!!! bye the way, Supastork actually gave an excellent run report. In fact it was so good this scribe has completely forgotten what he was blathering on about. Raffles and awards were given but anyhoo..... ON ON No Knikers

The Spock and Bouncer Show - run 1780

The sizable pack gleefully turned up to 31 Southerden Drive for a welcome return to a Mr and Mrs Spock event. There was a certain anticipation in the air, it was going to be an exciting night. Not to disappoint , the pack witnessed the near demise of ex Gm Bettyboop, who sat on Mr Spock's plastic chair (he swears he tested them all first)...It broke. Down Southerden Drv we went, checking, checking, checking. Pro went for miles with Defeatus, Moley, Cummy. Trail finally began. Onto train tracks. Not yet deemed the markings too small and on top of the rail where the trains could run right over it and rub it out. That must be what happened. Through Lower Mooroobool, by the creek now full with Taro plants. Bridge, more creek, drinkstop, back over bridge, creek trail, back to Spock and Bouncers. 
Much concern for Wait-A-While who thought he would start his own circle somewhere down in the street, but he had many skilled Harriettes in attendance. Further excitement still, upon discovering a long dead snake under B.Boop's chair. It's a conspiracy!!!
Returnee Ring Picker was welcomed as were Cummy, Tooty, Farcanal, Pro and Bumpa. 
Many charges laid which involved conspiracy to maim, scare & kill hashers. Charges to the Harriettes in W-A-W's harem for being late to the circle. (much more important) NOway and Bumpa for no hash attire (an even worse crime.) Noway again for cutting off all her hair but deciding to give it to Cummy instead (generous!!) 
Lots of other frivolity and carry on. We even had a run report from the Cardwell Combined Bike weekend, "An outstanding success and a terrific turnout and ride, score 100/10" was quoted by hashers. No awards , cos Losty forgot.
Raffles were won by some lucky buggers. 
ON ON Stumbles  


A confused pack congregated at a new site off the Kennedy Hi-way at Smithfield. Some of the pack got there, some didn't. Money, Fetish and In Out must have found a new hash as instructions were given but they seemed to lose the whole night. A jumbled start to the night but as usual it all turned out well. Except for the trail. Juggler was heard to mutter the Weed set trail must have been the warm up run as the front runners were back before the sweeps left. There was talk of a creek, scrub and under buildings. Some were seen to venture into Can'O'Pees Edge. Then they came back. There was toilet paper? Apparently. There was false trail? Apparently. Did bouncer get confused? Definitely. The run score? Don't know. 
: Munu didn't muck about but the pack did. Our GM charged himself for returning as did Spinifex and Penny. Thankfully no virgins.
Twisty charged for talking and Betty kept her company. Juggler charged Weed for setting a women's run (confusing and all over the place). Bo Peeps charge was reversed from Weed being confused about arrows and false trails. Juggler charged Losty for being confused and falling over. There was a wait-a-while charge in there somewhere about something. 
Raffles won by Losty and Super Stork. No Way gleefully gave the P.O.W to Losty who scared people by using it as a pointy stick. Double Donger still with Money-Shot, she must be having LOTS of fun. 
On On Big Bazza  

Horsing around with Goanna - run 1778

Arriving at Goannas Premier Horse Stud and Dressage Training Academy a.k.a. Ruff Rides house the pack enjoyed the visual pleasure of their fabulous garden and vista of grazing horses. A wonderful change for the pack. Off the pack wandered with Goannas words..: I ride the horses there all the time..What to expect! Long stretches of flat asphalt for the runners to stretch out. Up into some shiggy and scrub over old quarry diggings and hard set horse hoof imprints. Over lumps, bumps and down a slippery slope we cantered and trotted. Over long grassy paddocks catching our feet in dips and holes and finally onto flat road for a mighty trot up a huge driveway where Goanna was diligently flashing her headlights. Oh.....oops.., flashing her headlights to show the way to the drink stop (no, there were no fairy lights). Gasping for breath, those that could be bothered to get to the top enjoyed a tasty tipple. The lazy ones continued on their way back on trail following the rest of James Cook Drive back to the ON ON. Guest GM Screwer attempted to run a circle but the pack were too interested in talking horticulture and matters equine to pay him much mind. Hare Goanna was brought forth and much dissent about whether the trail was set on a bike or a horse and confusion about where the trail went .This scribe didn’t find it confusing so that’s saying something. 
Returnees....Ruff Ride and Betty Boop.
Virgins........Cameron and Victoria, Goannas lovely sister. 
Losty told the pack this was new territory for him and he was convinced he was going to go on a golf course as the area was so open and green. 
Charges... Weed was charged with not being allowed to do something which somehow involved Mole. Losty charged for NOT getting lost this week and therefore not living up to his names expectations Virgin Cameron charged for being a front running B.,48=++++!! When he didn’t have a clue as to what trail actually looked like. Hare Goanna was charged for shocking her Mum, Ruff Ride who had no idea Goanna goes round flashing her headlights willy nilly. Mole charge for not allowing Weed to do something (oooo!) Noway charged unnamed Harriett Kerry for being a quitter and leaving hash before she could be properly named. 
Awards...Noway got P.O.W. for not showing a Harriettes' ingenuity and forcing Nome de plume to let her into the Germania Club for Oktoberfest. Double donger still with Money shot.
ON ON Dancing Queen.  

CONCRETE ROD'S - run 1777

About 26 rowdy harriers turned up for the run at Greenslopes St for Concrete Rod's run. So down the road we went along the creek for some croc-spotting and on on to the Newmarket Hotel but alas no drink stop there and back to the Lakes for some more croc-spotting. A few frivolous down-downs were given. Someone gave Concrete Rod minus 14 for the run, and then Twisted Sister gave him minus 15. So that was minus 29 out of 10 according to Weed. I really think if it was averaged out it would've been minus 14.5. Concrete put on spag-bol for nosh with prawns for desert. When the rain came we all adjourned to the inside. 

On On No Nickers

K.T’s Manunda Madness - run 1776
As our GM was away again, and our assistant GM away, and our RA was away, Betty Boop held the circle (good on ya Betty) Runners report given by our visitor Reverse Thrust - he inform us it was a excellent run and gave in 7/10, Kerry gave the walkers run report and she gave it a 7/10 but added that she got a little lost (mates it Losty or just follow No Way??) with the circle in full agreement that 7/10 was too nice it was downgraded to a ONE.
Tutti Frutti and Twisted Sista got more than their eyes could bear - Concrete Rod in his swimming doing impression of Tony Abbott I believe. 
Down Downs given to our 2 virgins - Sylvia and Marine from Germany and France, visitors and returnees Big Bazza, Reverse Thrust, Dodo.
There was lost of charges but do not know what for as I was too busy getting the raffle ready for GM to draw.
Raffles won by : Mr Spock and Spread’em Twisted Sista gave the prick award to Big Bazza for flying home with 7 clots in this leg (mind you he did go to emergency dept and was admitted to hospital for 6 days) A bit more dribble was said then Nosh of spicy chicken and salads was served. 
On On Handbrake 


No Way’s No Idea Tour De Town - Run 1775


                 “It was a dangerous run in front of traffic with all these road crossings" said Not Yet as he gave his run report. " I don’t like this run ...too many road crossings " moaned Twisty while on trail. " all this crossing over " said Tooty while crossing another part of the town trail. Some hashers liked the trail as it kept them guessing where in town the trail went especially with the new fangled two way arrows which will now surely become a tried and true means of trail markings along with curly check backs. Which the pack did a lot .Particularly when the pack found themselves wondering if trail actually did go past the Captain Cook statue. It did then it came back again. It went past the Cock and Bull pub and the new hospital and many other places in town. Down to the Esplanade, into the Casino, back behind Cairns Central and a mighty run home to Wayne Leonard Motorcycles. Run score 4/10. Quite respectable. 
Skiddy was welcomed as a returnee ....well not really was a rowdy night and the pack forgot to listen.
Charges...C.B.F...will change his name from Cant .B.F....cked to Could .B.F...cked by the way he ran like the clappers over one Crossing. 
Spreadem charged Pro for looking at her sideways ( not obliquely).
Kotex racked a few for wearing of false hash attire and falsely charging Betty and other false accusations. Defeatus began the series of sibling charges by forcing Skiddy and Crunchy to the front for matching t-shirts. Promptly followed by the triplets Mole, Ssonic, Twisty for same sthirt wearing. Fetish , Munnie Shot, Inn Out and Spreadem were also declared triplets plus one which even their mother didn’t know about. P.O.W. went to Twisty for have a pornographic dog?????? Double Donger gave the Manu to Munnie Shot and Fetish for being twins. ON ON ...LOSTY? 


Handbrake's Speculation Trail - Run 1774
(Or, how to bump off a hasher and make it look like an accident!!) 
The pack left the nifty car park at Stanton Rd, Smithfield after much speculation if there would be any trail! It had rained. LOTS. We all got to the first check, and it all went pear shaped from there. Manu nearly got run over by a fat Ute screaming around a corner. The pack split and the runners were never seen again. The walkers followed Mr Spock who sniffed trail so, on we followed. Up the highway and left into the depths of Smithfield. Trail still looked scarce (i.e NONE). Upon reaching Speculation St it became apparent the trail had been done in reverse. To cries of ON ON the pack turned en masse and continued on trail walking backward. We met runners coming down from A GIANT HILL so decided to head for the keg. 
Back at the keg much concern for Mole's welfare having been knocked over by a uni student on a bike with dodgy brakes. A thorough tongue lashing from Moley terrified the offender.
: Kerry was welcomed.
Visitor: Sonic Beep who is henceforth known to Manu as Sonic Bang!!
Returnee: Pendinga.
Raffles: won by Sonic and Bouncer.
P.O.W to Losty for being himself and Manu gave the Double Donger to Sod-On-Me.
Defeatus charged the drinkstop non attenders. Hmmm that would be 99% of the pack. Betty and Twisted nominated themselves. Nommy charged for implying OOOps was fat i.e confusing virgin Kerry with OOOps who miraculously lost lots of weight. Kerry for impersonating another hasher. Manu for being blind. Moley charger bike hash for reckless cycling. No Way for no hash attire, reversed to Twisty who forget No Way's name.
All was forgiven for the backwards trail when Handbrakes nosh was devoured. No Speculation there was top nosh. 


With monsoonal rain threatening to belt down and wash trail away from Kotexs Monsoon Tce maison, Kotey had the bright idea of marking her trail with crayon. Bright orange. Barely discernable in the fading light but hey at least the trail didn’t get washed away. It just got confused with last months trail and previous Kotex runs and the odd Harriettes trail as well. Manu arrived at the drinkstop from the on home trail but somehow reversed. Weed knocked over most of the drinks at the drinkstop. Several harriettes and No Gat didn’t bother getting to any drinkstop real or fake. Much discussion about the giant false trail and many "Damn and blasts" from Betty when trying to leave the drinkstop with NoNickas, Kotey, and Nommy jammed in the back of Bettys car. Defeatus had swiped the car keys.
Back at Koteys, virgin and visitor Kelly and Pubic Service Announcement were welcomed from Boston. Duly interviewed by our GM Manu with a most interesting new form of microphone. 
CHARGES...Manu for being blind and falling over. Kotex for making Betty lug her wee collection bottle with her to help set Koteys run. Moneyshot for not telling the difference between Manu and Weed. Moneyshot for being blind and no hash attire. Nommy and Noey for cadging a lift back in the car. Moneyshot for being deaf as well as blind.
Double dinger from Losty to Manu so it can go to Fiji again. P.O.W. did go to someone but you will have to tell the scribe at next weeks run. 

Manu Manu’s harey lost and then found run - run 1772

Defeatus`s run report began thus..."a nice scenic tour of the worst parts of the ghetto. a pretty good run...(huh???)minus 5. Kotexs`s run report for the walkers was..oh...uhmm..yeah..dark shady areas in a dark shady place..minus 69. The pack had just run from Henley Park in Earelville around through said suburb and the into the secrect depths and hidden ghetto that is some of that area. It was marked such that when front runners returned from checking the walkers had caught up and so the pack stayed fairly much to-gevor.( genius!!!)
Virgin Bev was welcomed although Bev may still be wondering about the goat tho.
Returnees ..Losty, Bumpa, Spreadem, Wrongway. 
Charges----Crunchy, Bev, Dancing Queen, Betty for impersonating an interstate hasher by wearing body condoms...who that hasher is the pack has no idea. Weed to Defeatus for not being hungover on a hash run like he was last week .(wimp) Kneetrembler for pretentiousness for training prior to a hash run Gay Cummy.... because we can. Spreadem to Pro for lack of shoes. Nommy for frivolity with a hasher under an umbrella Twisty for impersonating Nommy and weeing on trail. Kotex for being a media tart and failing to mention the hash. Bev for admiring Defeatus`s double donger..A LOT. Tackle for loosing his luggage in the Philippines and trying to blame Wrongway.
The much admired double donger went to Losty for bringing back Defeatus`s horror childhood memories of living in the ghetto. Pro likes the prick so much he left it at home with his missing runners.

Great impromptu run – no thanks to Manu2 but all thanks to L & F and Colonel Sanders


A mega pack descended upon the new tropical paradise that Chopper now calls home. The pack were duly welcomed by lithe tanned lovelies serving chilled beer hence the mega pack. A fine way to welcome one and all to his new home. The run began with many fine fit runners(’t be hashers then) searching out trail which was clearly laid with flour arrows .On the bounding runners went, walkers ambled amiably. Through the delightful suburb of Freshwater the trail ascended, descended, looped round, stumbled back onto woods, reserves, road, train track and ON homed to the welcoming wenches proffering cold beer. Defeatus run report thus;...It was a s**** start. The run looked familiar but we did it backwards....score.75. Note not 75 out of 100 but 3/4 of a point. Weeds Walkers Weport thus...It was quite pleasant then half the pack left then it was even more pleasant..2and a half out of ten. A really lame down down followed but nobody noticed as the tanned lovelies served the home brew and the pack forgot to sing it. 
Returnees- - - Ex GM Penisimmoo and long lost runner Klink up from Mackay. 
Visitors- - - - - many fine examples of fitness who aquitted themselves well and put the pack to shame 
Visitor /Virgin- - - Yamashitas Sister from Weipa also being a long lost hasher. 
Charges- - - - - - - many stupendous and stupid attempts but notably Handbrake to Twisty for making H` brakes ears drop off  with incessant blabbing. Dancing Queen for a ringing mobile phone in the circle Jay..a.k.a Choppers bestie, for charging ON ON while on trail but keeping the trail whereabouts a secret. Moneytshot to Defeatus for wimping out on the run. This, dear Moneyshot, is what is actually called shortcutting ,a hashers prime objective while on trail so the charge was reversed. Innouts charge also backfired. Not yet for skiting(again) Choppers mate ( the blonde one ) for not going down when he should Somjit for fantastic nosh AND Choppers Mum for admitting to being Choppers Mum. 
Anne and Nathan were anointed their real names of No-way and Nathan is now Cant Be F*****ed , which is surprising as the R.A Couldn’t Be F*****ed either.....
A Choice Nite Chopper.
ON ON ...Screwer.  

1770 run..A.K.A...The missing Titty stop run
It was an auspicious night for the Cairns Hash as the pack celebrated our 1770 run and almost the exact very same time as the famous Captain James Kirk...uhmmm..Cook perchanced upon the lovely environment that is now Cairns. Leaving the Cape York Hotel the pack checked in several directions and found trail in most of them. There was a choice of 3 trails. A mighty effort. The runners went one way, walkers another and third division somewhere else but the wily hare had the pack thinking checking and running. Except when it came to the running along the esplanade bit as the hare, Weed, neglected to hold regroups and a drink stop at the Lagoon so views of topless backpackers (male or female, whatever your whim) could be enjoyed. (Ed note- there were many checks and a regroup here, but as hashers do, they were too busy talking and looking elsewhere!!)
Anyhoo the pack mostly, diligently followed well laid trail to finally come to a drink stop by the very same statue of said intrepid Captain mentioned above. Drinks drunk, off the pack went on home following Lost and Found type double arrows but no Losty to be found (got lost).
Back at the ON ON returnees Mr Spock ,Bouncer, Councillor Oops, Ruffrider and virgin Harley were welcomed. Councillor Oops charged the hare for not setting trail through division 8, Supa charged the hare for the use of so much chalk for so little gain (supa got confused and went on home extra early). Defetus got a media tart award. Gay Cummy for blowing his own horn, Goanna charged for making Betty work really hard on the trail and Mole charged the hare for getting taxis back and forth from the trail.
A multitude of raffle prizes including shirts and even underwear. Farcanal got tired of the shrunken black donger and thoughtfully gave it to Spock for knowing the date he will leave Tassie Nash Hash before he has even booked arriving. Supa got the double donger. how nice. 
ON ON Meatballs   


Not Yets Loopy Lope  - run 1769

The pack turned up to noey and not yets maison up Summerhill Drive and even steeper up onto Soloman place. Its a hash trail just getting there. So the trail went where Not yet usually likes to set interesting trail except this time it involved lots of loops. It looped here and there and looped back on itself and looped up and round. Funnily enough it matched Not Yets description about it having a few loops. The runners got lost following a loop and the rest of the pack looped to the drink stop and eventually on home. Once back at the On Keg Not yet promptly left himself open for a charge of mothering around by tidying up .Before the circle even began NoKnickers was heard to give the GM a resounding GET F?????XXXED as the pack was told to stand in the circle. Charges began with Sodonme charging Not yet for a new invention in trail laying technique by introducing that new all purpose multi directional arrow with added emphasis...OK?? It’s gonna be a winner Not Yet. Supa charged Choppa with a heinous crime of no hash attire. Kneetrembler was charged for using Not Yets hilly trail as a mere training run for the pyramid race..oh ..and for setting fire to Wait A Whiles work van. Much more happened but things are rather blurry but the nosh was a top curry.
ON ON ...Metro.  



It was a wintry evening at Freshwater swimming hole where the pack began their easy post winter ball mosey. It mosied and meandered here and there. Mostly cane field, scrub, railway, shiggy and back to the swimming hole. No swimming tonight tho', not even Pro. as he wasn't there. Just like Crunchy and Betty who went to the wrong address but arrived just before the pack returned from the run. Just in time for Betty to relive her Freshwater train track horror scramble from a previous run.
Recovering from said winter ball and railway nightmares the pack welcomed very longtime hasher and famously Lost and Founds uncle- Steam-shoes from the wintry south. Manu proudly wore Royal Peninsula Men's hash gift of the Tam O'shanta and ginger locks. Such am improvement in his looks too.
Many charges from the run and also the winter ball ensued, especially for Kotex! Her impressive dancing on Sat night will be remember for a long time yet. Lost property from Bumper and Nommy, No Nix for imitating Joan Collins, Kotex for wasting/spilling alcohol and being a spaz (!!!!!!!!) Twisted was charged for getting miscellaneous Malaria, and Low Profile to Prickle Magnet.
Returnees: Twisted Sister, Tackle and Choppa. Raffles: won by Manu and Losty.
Announcements: Choppa needs numbers of those attending his run on the 23/08 for catering purposes. He has decided it will be the last titty girl run he will be putting on and would like to make it a great night to remember. Please speak to Choppa for more info. Bike hash is having a celebratory ride in Oct at Cardwell, flyers have been circulating, any other info see Betty, Losty or Crunchy or ring us.
On On til next time, mongrels  Black Tulip


Pull Thru pulled thru without much fuss - run 1767

A wet and cool evening greeted the pack at the home of Pull- Through. Off into the wilds of Mooroobool went the runners and walkers, hoping that the RA would come to the rescue and the rain would hold off until after the run. Through the streets and pathways we trudged, occasionally finding trail but not very often. Still we knew vaguely where we were going, the drink stop was “at the back of Stocklands” eh! Guess that depends on what you call the “back” the drink stop was missed by everyone! We has visitors from Brisbane – apparently Lost & Found has friends. Back at Pull Through’s the circle got underway 
Charges – Weed for the heinous crime of not getting the Hash Booze to Hash before the run!! 
Awards: Double Donger to In/Out Prick of the Week to Farcanal
The two Queens, Dancing Queen and Sodonme celebrated their 50th run 
The RA cometh and go-eth because no one knew what to call Nathan and Anne, the RA will try again for a naming next week. 
Raffles: Mole and McTaf 
Great nosh and even pudding for desert!! Made up for losing the trail 
On On Turkey Brain  


Wait-a-While’s Wonderful Brothel Run - run 1766

Sodonme's Sod of a Run - run 1765

It was “all go” at the House of Sodonme, the runners were separated from the walkers and the walkers told to board the F… Bus, with its plush leather seats and carpeted floor!!  After a few attempts the bus was underway and the walkers dropped off at the end of Collins Avenue.  The first part of the walk was great, along the creek into the reaches of Aeroglen.  Then it was turn left and up the hill!!  The climb went on and on, trail was lost and found again and then lost twice more with false trails.  At one time I had visions of being on the mountain and never coming back down!!  We eventually found our way, with the help of McTaf’s whistle and Alex’s light to be greeted by Kneetrembler at the drink stop, at the lookout on the Red Arrow.  The runners never made the drink stop, they had found another way down!!  It was then down the Red Arrow and back to Sodonme’s place.

The circle got underway quickly as it was quite late by this time. 

Raffle was drawn and won (don’t know who by)
Visitor/Virgin was Alex who has the misfortune to live next door to Sodonme!
P…. of the Week and the Double Donger went to Sodonme for the run.
MM was charged for leaving the drink stop with the cups in her pocket!

The nosh was good, and it's On On to next week’s run.




A cool evening with a small pack of enthusiasts taking off from the Crunchie Crack home with instructions that maybe some of the ‘trail’ markings may have dissolved in the late shower, but “just keep to the right of the school until you find the big tree, then turn right”.    Did just that, found trail went over a fence and from then on hardly any trail with runners already gone off into the wild, dark night, and walkers wandering about seeking some clues.  Found some trees and grass area but no trail until a flashlight glowing in the distance (from the drink stop) lured the intrepid walkers on through the night!   The Marathon continued on, still heading away from ‘home’ but finally the walkers came into the street- lit areas and ‘on home’ via the well lit area of the new Coles supermarket.   The six stalwart walkers finally arrived back to find the runners, and the short-cutters patiently awaiting their arrival.    As the run/walk took just over 1.5 hours, the GM got the circle going quick-smart………hardly time for enough for the sweaty, thirsty walkers to take a breath!!!
We had TWO virgins attending…Sonia (from Forest Gardens) and Denis (from Dayborogh)………they seemed to enjoy the frivolity and good nature of our little group and have vowed to ‘come again’ next week.
Helmet gave the walkers report and awarded a MINUS 3, however, Super Stork gave the runners report with a mark of 15!   How ridiculous was that, what were you drinking Super?         Both Hares, Crunchie and Dancing Queen, were dragged out for punishment.
Kneetrembler gave a brief report on his performance at the Gold Coast Marathon – finished 13th in his age group and about 111 overall…an excellent result, but then think of the great ‘training’ he gets with Cairns HHH!
Other frivolous down-downs were to suspect new shoes of Pullthrough, Concrete Rod for endeavoring to alter trail, and Dancing Queen for not returning a torch to its owner.
A great nosh of wonderful lasagna and fresh salad and veges supplied from Dancing Queen’s garden.
Next week’s run is from Sodonme’s palace at Edge Hill.

On, on…………Tutti


De Foetus's Daunting Dalliance run 1763

A smaller group than last week met at the Lake Placid lower bridge for a run set by Defeotus.  Confusion set in even before the pack left as Defeotus explained the run – if you run you might have to swim, if you walk you will need a torch – don’t worry about the run – all go on the walkers trail was about the jist of it – I don’t know I was lost by that time and I had not even set off.
The pack departed, over scrub land, following bits of toilet paper strung on trees.  Along the banks of the Barron River, over logs and around trees, all the while it was getting darker, one missed step and you end up in the river!!!  Well not that bad!! UNTIL we came out onto the gorge road and then this steep bank greeted us – thanks to Defeotus and Kneetrembler this hasher and others made it onto the road.
Back at the circle – great excitement – a naming was to take place.  The RA arrived with the goat and Darren was duly named Seconds.  What was this?  An overruling of the RA’s naming?  By popular demand Darren is now to be known as Sloppy Seconds.
Weed spoke of the Hash Ball, get your tickets for this Gala Event from Hash Cash.  Weed also spoke of the suggestion by the committee that everyone bring their own plate and cutlery to Hash.  Noisy discussion took place but no firm decision was made.
Raffles – Sloppy Seconds and Tackle (even though he is overseas)
P… of the Week – In/Out
Double Donger – Nathan
Charges:  Many but who knows what they were!!!

Notes taken by Anon because when Pro was asked to do notes he complained that as he was sitting down he couldn’t think or write – something to do with his brains being in his backside!!

On on



Skiddy's Winter Hawaiian Night  - run 1762
A massive pack of 40 turned up to the wonderful, if dimly lit abode of virgins Sandy and Danny. A terrific night for returnees Bo Peep, Juggler & Nathan and welcome to virgins Chica And Robyn. It was a thrilling site to watch the pack flying by wearing traditional Hawaiian attire. Skiddy shepherded the pack on the trail about which there was much controversy. Is there trail, where, what trail. Nathan and Fetish nearly had a search party sent for them! Manu completely ignored the arrows heading down the goat track off Walsh St. Half the pack refused to attempt the opening trail up the top of Mayer's St, then refused to believe the hare herself when she attempted to reassure and guide the pack while on trail. Charges ensued. Manu being charged for having a safety sleep before last weeks run and sleeping right thru til this week. Fetish took a down down out of his new shoes, Losty for self aggrandisement. Manu to Handbrake for not being computer savvy.
Bazza joined Nogat for being old and Nogat's 150 walks, Tackle has notched up 300 runs and Betty 500. Metro turned on the ukulele entertainment which gave a true Hawaiian finish to the night along with cocktail umbrellas and pineapple hot dogs. Well done Skiddy.....On On Esmerelda  


Pro's Promising Parade - run 1761

  An earlier than usual start for the pack tonight being out in the Mountain View Hotel. Could also have been a Little Mulgrave Hash run too! Down from the pub, over the Gillies Highway, down along Roo's Rd, by cane farm, along tracks, onto Fairweather Access, and a cane bridge. Stumbling over scrub, trails, rocks, tracks and down a slope the pack stumbled finding their way along the dried river bed. Over more river rocks and broken road to find the drinkstop waiting.
 In/Out admitted defeat and returned his injured self to the pub. Weed, No Gat and New Guy returned before that. Drinkstop drunk, the pack spoke nicely to the horses biding their time in the paddock. Back at the Mountainview, the circle began. Being the Queen's Birfday weekend all Queens were called for a charge. Dancing Queen charged forth along with Cummy and Mole, W.A.W and Helmet for silly hat wearing. A good score for the run, but what it was who knows. Charges a plenty, but who cares! POW went to Tackle. Double Donger went to Losty. Raffles to Cummy and Crunchy. VIRGINS- Ray and Marie (Darrin's parents) RETURNEES - Pullthru, Fetish and Skiddy  


Manu2’s Maniac Maeander - run 1760

I have to be honest and say that I didn't go on the run, so I can't give you much of a run report. But Choppa scored it a 10/10 and sounded a bit surprised because he described it as "actually a good run!!". Hashers should note, this particular harriette went to Trinity's run on Tuesday night and that was put on by their GM Nico, and he didn't get a score nearly that good. So what does that tell you.....Cairns is the best Hash in all the world, and our GM is the most fabulous of them all (clap, clap, cheers!). Virgin was Jeff- bought along by Losty. Returnees were Minnieshot and IN/OUT. Charges were plenty. Starting with a late charge from Kotex to Twisted for her incident at Nash Hash with Cairns Brass Band (dont ask people!), Dancing Queen dobbed in Spread 'Em having a big dick behind her, Mole to In/Out for making up his own trail, but in his defence Manu told him where to go, Screwer to L&F for not telling the virgin the sacred rules of hash. DQ to Moneyshot for no hash attire with Farcanal joining her, and Bazza cos no one can pinch his chair this week. New shoes-Choppa 
Raffles won by Choppa, Twisted and Dancing Queen.
Run Of The Month garment went to Flapps. 
Double Donger went to Handbrake from Spread 'Em for being too nice.
P.O.W to Kotex she should know better.
Darrin, Anne, In/Out and MoneyShot were all presented with Saigon 1000th T-shirts from Knee Trembler 
On On, Slugher  


Weed's Wiley Smithfield Saunter - run 1759

 The pack turned up to new venue, Kennedy park next to Bunnings Smithfield on the last day of Autumn. Off into the dark the pack went. Up over, around, behind Bunnings, out onto the highway and through an underpass. On the other side of the road and through some dark scrub. The pack took a lovely look thru the Can-O-Pee's Edge estate. Onto the drinkstop behind Smithfield tavern and slowly the pack returned on keg. Back at the circle proceedings began. The run scored low but the pack looked forward to fantastic nosh.Manu began charges with a spurious charge about confused gender and hermaphrodites and the charges became more confused from there. But still the pack looked forward to a fantastic nosh – going for nosh of the year!! Awards given to Mole, which was the only one we had. Visitors Plaything, Gladwrap, Wrong Way, Pullthru were a welcome bunch. Various lucky bastards won the Raffles. IF U HAVE AN AWARD, PLEASE RETURN IT!!! 

On On, Cougars  


Tackle’s mighty feast of a run - run 1758

Turning up to Moingnard Street for a tackle run, the pack were keen to get going as we were told it’s a long one ( !!!!!!). Off over the road through the medical centre, onto Moody Street. Over an easement by the canal, into Pease Street. Onto Lennon Street finding our way into kneetremblers former street Brennan. Somewhere out of Brennan Street the pack split. The walkers -who knows where-Runners- up along Brown street by the D.F.O. past there and a left turn all the way up Mann Street all the way to Cairns One. And over the bridge. Following along the canal past all the rugby playing carry on or some such game involving balls the last of the runners trailed. Following the path up to the TAFE then......pffhht.....lost trail. This involved wondering where the drink stop was, as marks showed a D.S. Along Tafe street and one arrow was seen. Keep going but no arrows. By this time the last of the pack were fading fast so back to the keg they went for as much as 2 klms. Sometime later, the tired and thirsty pack made it to the keg just before the search party was about to leave. Strange happenings at the circle as an interloper appeared and confused proceedings, especially Mole`, who was not amused. Neither were the pack. Order restored, charges continued. Confusion there as well but Toolbox was welcomed as a returnee as was the charming SonJit from far, far away. A virgin was welcomed and the goat was getting excited but soothing ale calmed it down. Confusion continued, but the nosh was fantastic and plentiful as always from Tackle. 
ON ON - someone who cares.  



The pack appeared at Callum St to the subtle changes in the light that autumn brings. Yes folks, it gets dark earlier these days. Hence, Flapps advice you need a torch. "OH!!!! and there's only one giant hill. Once you get over that, You'll be right". Out along Callum St, up to Moody, over to man with a lisp st (WAWAN), into a dark park, oh dear!!, getting darker. The runners ran, the walkers walked and the pack split after a regroup at the quarry. By this time darkness enveloped all. That's right, no torches! Onto Ramsey drive, then a sharp turn over the road and into the quarry, through the forest into the darkest depths of the thick black evening. Howls, squeals and cries of horror could be heard and that was just from Manu . "OK" says Manu and onto some other mysterious path he went. Tackle gathered the remaining quivering hashers about him (he loves a good harem) and on back the pack went. There were some canals and a park in there somewhere and virgins Annie and Mel were made to suffer Betty's non-stop commentary all the way back, (there there girls.) B.T. Mole, Skiddy, Supa, Not Yet, Losty were the last runners to return and quivering with terror B.T awarded Flapps a massive 0.5/2 for the run. Auspicious event began with the awarding of a sacred hash chalice to Not Yet, for his 700 runs and that's just while he was named Not yet. Parchment older than the Dead Sea scrolls were produced which proclaimed the date to be 5th Sept '77- Run #12 as being Babbling's/ Not Yet's first run. Supa overcome with emotion claimed he was also as old as the same dead scroll and accepted his charge for forcing Betty to produce the original ancient document. There were some charges but it's all too blurry to remember.
Awards: POW to Skiddy, Glitteris to Darrin, Spread 'Em still has the DD.
Raffles to Lost and Found and Handbrake. 


A not very serious pack of 32 gay and jolly hashers descended upon the seriously midgee ridden centenary lakes picnic hut. After much telling and directing Not Yet sent the pack away, away where we know not as some of the pack, Crunchy& Farcanel returned forthwith wearing serious looks of confusion. To cries of '' bugger that"" and are you serious, more hashers returned before completing trail. How could this be ????? Not Yets cunning plan to confuse and confound the pack was more successful than he hoped with checks, false trails double checks and check again and really?? at the tanks art precinct people changed their minds and came home. Except the ones that didn't, they deciphered Not Yet’s seriously confusing trail...Losty was seen to be running up Macnamarra street, Sod on me ran back all flustered, supa stork and defeatus just ran. Virgin Angus ran somewhere with some people, Metro bike hashed. SOS decided to have a little lie down on trail, Skiddy was concerned, Manu ran like the clappers, as did foreign correspondent returnee Choppa. Big Bazza and Animal loped. Returnee B.T kept twisty and tooty company. Tackle kept an eye on the keg and returnee Mofl entertained and iced a cake. Meanwhile serious charges occurred and some more serious than others. Newcomer Darren wore no new hash attire as his dog Just Chewed It ,chewed it. charge was accepted with claims that he is not in the cupboard (???? ..seriously odd but there you go....its hash, a hash name for Darren perhaps.. narnia was bandied about. Crunchy was charged for leaving all the pricks, cocks, double dongers and dildos at home claiming they are all in for repairs. Betty was charged for not taking the notes, maid marion for passing the buck(ouchies) and handbrake for making the G.M look incontinent....oops....typo....incompetent. 
Waffles to supa stork and weed but no prizes. Not a serious raffle then 
ON ON Screwer. 



Helmet’s washed out hideaway trail  - run 1755
Great run, washed out trail, excellent nosh, no notes!!

Spread'ems Run - run 1754
No notes, no photos - wasn't there so no idea. Sure to have been good!!

Nom de Plumes pseudonym Run - run 1753

Upon arrival at Holloways beach Nom de Plumes co hare Twisted sister gave the pack the inside running about tonight’s run. Because of the huge deluge of rain the trail was reset from from twisty’s car. Sub substitute hare Losty was already on trail remarking remarked trail. Nommy enlisted the help of her exact stunt doubles due to a very unexpected turn of events, however, being the resilient Harriette that she is and with Swiss precision and organization no stone was left unturned or marked and the evenings trail and nosh awaited an eager pack.

Leaving the beach the trail began. Like eager and fit young gazelles Horny Gazelle, from KL, via Germany and travel buddy Raoul from Germany dashed off with Kneetrembler, Manu, and Mctaf, on hash whistle, and promptly lost trail. Regrouping the trail was picked up again and continued through the scrub....and very nice scrub it was too. Into the depths of Holloways Beach suburbia (who knew all that was there) Weed mumbled something about Mimosa street, Spreadem marveled at being back in Holloways beach, Crunchy strode ahead with her ipod planted firmly to her head Betty and Maid Marion discussed housing, Dancing Queen danced along. Nogat trailed behind and Pro arrived late and beat all the pack to join the front runners. Going through an open field , into more scrub and back to the beach, Nommy put in a fine effort. Horny Gazelle and Raoul barely raised a sweat but seemed to really enjoy it. Sod-on-me’s run report..."!...out hte front he went for a down down. Kneetremblers report followed thus.... clearly Lostty had more time than he actually needed judging by the amount of false trails set... hmmm 5/10 but reduced to - 1/10 for the use of black on black arrows 
CHARGES.. SOME... what for ...dont know...why...can’t remember but ..Nogat did celebrate his seventytwooth birthday with his nearest and dearest hashing loved ones.
P.O.W spreadem and double donger to Crunchy. Raffles to betty boop and Losty Hurry home soon Nommy


It was packed to the roof trusses at Mahogany St for what turned out to be a fantastic trail set by the lovely Handbrake. Knowing that there would be an influx of HMAS Success's finest, fittest specimens the R.A.N could offer, Handbrake surpassed herself in the quality of her trail setting, marking, good length which even had the hardiest of runners puffing. Except No Gat and Farcanal who casually ambled back to the Keg. OH! and Boopy and Crunchy who stayed in cripples corner. And Weed who ran around doing Handbrake's bidding. And Handbrake's dad, who supervised Handbrake. Much was made of the trail that stayed mostly on the main roads and went somewhere along Reservoir Rd, English St, Jensen St, mention of Commins St, Parks and all those well lit areas. 

Losty wondered why none of the pack followed him to Greenslopes St & Centenary Lakes. The trail didn't go there Losty!!!!!

Back the pack came and some of our finest & fittest were seen turning round and heading off again. Many Virgins were welcomed. Hooper, Sally, Jamie, Al, Jane and any others the scribe missed. The goat eagerly waiting out the back to receive the virgins. Many other visitors welcomed, a down down drunk. Leading the visiting pack Flesh gave the run report "I loved it!! Except who put a checkpoint under a car. The drinkstop was fantastic, Awesome!!" Returnee Hug'N'Kiss gave her walkers report "Yes it was quite eventful, My legs got sore"!!!!!?????! Many photos were took and charges laid. Notably Flesh for new shoes. Out came the stocks. Flesh for leading the pack, Flesh for splitting the trail and Flesh for......anything else the pack could think of. Many down downs drunk, songs sung and photos taken with the prick of the week and the double donger taken (quite popular that). A huge night with a huge pack.

ON ON Deep Shit 

Smithfield Sojourn - run 1751

The pack managed to turn up to a whole new hashing environment on a damp and soggy Easter Monday for what was grandly billed as 4xxxx`s run. Damp and soggy it certainly was but grand??? .Still much debate about that one although the pack were impressed with the fact that 4x managed to fly in from Brisbane Southside, scout out new territory in a new subdivision in a new park,set a clearly marked trail despite the Easter deluge,rush back to said park and start boiling the water for the nights nosh.

With much praise to our R.A Supastalk for holding off the rain as much as an R.A can the pack ventured through the Northpoint subdivision.

Over swampy parks we went, up over a steep bank and straight onto the highway we went.. at peak hour! Making it to the other side of the highway in reletive safety the pack discovered new areas of Smithfield we hadn’t ventured to before. Handbrake checked out trail for her future harriettes run. Betty sampled the loos at the nice hidden park next to Smithfield shopping centre,(they are very nice Nommy as far as toilets go )

By this time the pack had split and where the runners went some of us are not sure. The back of the pack wandered through the depths of Smithfield along the highway and wended our way back all along 4x`s remarkably well marked trail. Back past the light industrial area the pack went and on into the soggy park to await the circle. Which we waited and waited for....because Lost and found forgot the nosh. 4x kept his end of the bargain and Losty was just losty.

Gay cummy gave his run report: it was nice, I was able to check out the men’s toilets sadly no trail in there.3/10

Handbrake noted that she and Betty saw the check back and therefore did the whole trail and as they saw no other hashers the rest of the pack clearly shortcutted.

Charges: handbrake to the pack for the very same reason as just noted and Betty charged the rest of the pack for not going all the way unlike Betty who always does. Weed charged Supa stalk for not being at last weeks run and causing all the massive deluge but doing his job very well this week. A charge for Losty for not wearing hash gear again but losty insisted it was his Brisbane Southside tshirt which is screenprinted with black on black markings. Somewhere in the course of the night 4x was given a visiting GM charge. Helmet charged prickle for choosing to cum to a wet hash night for their 30th wedding anniversary celebrations.

Raffles: Crunchy and handbrake. Defeotus passed on the POW to helmet and prickle as a wedding anniversary gift and Crunchy is still minding the hairy prick, the **glitteris** LOL!! AND the double donger....busy girl.




Yes, we know the notes said you are at Dancing queens run at Ravizza park but in hash things have a way changing dont ya know. Especially when it precipitates. Bucketed down. So the theme for the whole night was improvisation, which we did. The mystery live hare sent us away out of the park and onto a very long road. The second live hare Mctaf quickly remarked the washed away trail until we followed white tape.
Yep, it was wet and still bucketing down. Into a wild scrub trail we went slipping and slopping AND NATURALLY NOT A TORCH TO BE SEEN. Over a huge fence we had to go or over a perrilous wild creek over a drain pipe.Mctaf and helmet gallantly helped the harriettes over the obstacle while pro helped the harriettes just to cop a feel of their wet bums. Great debate ensued as to the continuance of the trail or go home. Most thought ' sod it' and went on keg.Sodden we were and sodden we remained for the night. Mole gave an accurate account.'' IT RAINED....blah ,blah ,blah, more rain... blah ,blah ,blah...then the rain stopped-2/10 but the nosh looks was.
Charges. Spreadem for trying to charge before the charges began. Handbrake and Crunchy for making the pack worry about them( they disapeared on trail) Pro for helping harriettes just to cop a quick grope. Flapps and prickle for low profiles. Nogat for something about a root. Weed and Mole for sacriledge (great song tho) Tackle for parking the hashdray too far in the rain and making the standin kegmaster wet.
Raffles. Crunchy crack, Spreadem and Tackle
Awards... Double Donger to Losty. Long lost ceramic prick to someone but Crunchy will mind (:-o?) it for them and the hairy prick to Manu but crunchy will mind it for them.


The pack eagerly awaited the arrival of Gay Cummy to send us on our way on his virgin run. Much was expected of our Cummy being a fit runner 'n' all. We left the starting point, followed trail, went here, went there, got to go down (!) steep embankments, through shiggy, eye off all the swanky homes in Argentea (oh no, that was on the way home) anyhoo.... ON the pack went.
We were quite split by now because the runners must have been trying to impress very the fit visitors from Samoa, Paumuli and Pussy Snatcher, (how mean...stealing someone'

Many protests were heard from Hand Brake and Nommy who got very prickly crutches, Tooty who got very prickly legs, Crunchy who got very prickly cra...umbrella, and anyone else that went through the prickly field. (classic hash trail). Boopy love the extra exercise stations found on the trail and was seen getting her leg over a large bar. The runners ran, walkers walked, and we............. .................eventually got back.
SupaStalk gave a very impressive run report. It went on for hours.....Uneventful, lots of (like long lengths) of toilet paper. Cummy must like doing it in the bush, cos we were there alot. Trail went past a pub and not in it, Drink stop- good but at the end of a jetty (we didn't go there). A massive 25/10 to a more suitable 3. Losty said No false Trails, no RG's, so gave a crap song to the hare (diddums). 

RETURNEES: Mctaf, Spanner, Retard, Pussy Bob.
CHARGES: Gay cummy for misrepresentation, "I'm not really gay!!!!" Retard to Losty for locking the GM's keys in the Losty mobile.Spanner for wondering when ANZAC day is?????? And a collection of harriettes for being squealing girls on the run. Nommy for no hash attire. Weed for beer abuse and being sent to the naughty corner.
RAFFLES: won by Handbrake and Betty Boop. No awards awarded.  

ON ON Betty and Crunchy 


Descending upon Twisty's place the pack patiently waited to be sent on their way. Twisty described her own run as "very pretty and you'll like it". True to her word it was pretty (mostly), Along Greenslopes st (not very pretty) into Hutchinson st ( getting pretty). Further along we went (still quite pretty) nearly into Farcanal's place. Out of Hutchinson, going along (ooh! really quite pretty now). Down onto Collins ave (so so). Past botanic gardens (oh yes, very pretty) into the botanic boardwalk (still nicely pretty). continuing through Centenary lakes( some parts mostly pretty) out the other side (not terribly pretty), back along Greenslopes st (hmmm ho hum) to Twisty's place.

 Flapps gave her run report " was brief", nothing about how pretty the run was 1.5/10 . Weed gave his report "well it wasn't too bad, all the walkers longcutted. All the walkers followed Manu Manu (who isn't pretty)". VIRGINS: were Brenton, Kym and Eric. RETURNEES: Maid Marion and Stubby (not pretty at all), and the 2 Oops or Oops look-a-like aka Diane who are both named the same. Kotex was lamenting the loss of her box. So every male hasher must make a deposit to her box to determine the offender.
CHARGES: Weed charged Knee Trembler for shirt stealing, Kotex again for games with a banana(?!!?) Spread' Em for being too slow, Tooty attempted to charge kotex (again) but she was pissed by then so Losty was charged instead. Cummy for deleting last weeks notes wot got wrote, Brenton for mobile phone while on the run. Maid Marion for trying not to be seen buying alcohol. Eric for nearly new shoes. Prostitute for mooning (not remotely pretty). Defeotus got the P.O.W Nommy and Mole got the raffles. ON ON  Betty and Crunchy 

KOTEX KAPERS - run 1745

A rowdy pack turned up to the house of Kotex (no, not a beauty salon) to enjoy? Koties latest attempts at setting trail and to welcome our new GM. Most of the pack attempted to ignore our illustrious Manu Manu but without taking any nonsense from anyone, he sent the pack away. On out of Monsoon Tce, down, down!!!! (ooh) the pack went onto the darkest depths of Forest Gardens. On along the highway for miles, across open fields, up a hill, over , through, round the back of St Therese's, up, over again, more up, along, trudging by this time and all expiring with thirst due to the false drink stop. Back we were at the keg, sweating and heaving. With little fanfare the new GM began his reign. Nathan a former virgin, returned to our fold as did Pullthru. Money shot celebrated her birthday with several rousing choruses. Kotex score a -2 (appropriate). Moneyshot, Betty, Weed, Mole and InOut were all charged for terrible deeds. After the circle ended, Losty awarded the P.O.W to Manu for forgetting to have the awards and the double donger still resides at Prickle and Helmets place. ON ON to all, Betty and Crunchy

AGPU CAIRNS H3 - run 1743
A good size pack of 40 turned up to our AGPU night at Knee Tremblers's place for our full moon changing of the guard. Just a short run around the block and the pack was back within 20 mins, still all hot and sweaty though. Into the pool most of the pack went and that's where most of the pack stayed with nibbles and drinks(who are they you ask). And so the last of the Grand Mattresses circles began. 
Our returnee Screwer deemed kneetremblers run Very Admirable, very appropriate for an Agpu A very good length. Me thinks a man easily satisfied. A down down was duly given by a very soggy pack. 
Breaking with proceedings Bettyboop gave thanks and much praise to the outgoing committee who by this time were all ready to be committed. Some raffles were drawn as there were a multitude of prizes to be handed out on this fine full moon night. 
RETURNEES;-----Screwer, Spread em, Metro, NoGat, Cummy, the lovely Hug-n- Kiss and Supastork proudly sporting his AC DC shirt. (No, not Trinity's ac dc).
Supa gave his best entertainment reporter impersonation and filled us in on the night of nights in Melbourne 
CHARGES;........Here is where it gets a little blurry...anyhoo....I'm told there was Losty for losing the run board off the back of his truck. Tackle swears he saw it fall off himself. Money shot, Defeotus, NoGat, Dancing Queen....she swears she didn't bring the hash into disrepute (just ask Spread em) Helmet for his new budgie smugglers (at least they're not baggy in the bum....not a good look) Spread em and Losty again for impersonating a Tour De France cyclist, Bettyboop for impersonating a hairy truck driver (ask Weed) 
RUN OF THE MONTH;......At last awarded to Mole. 
DOUBLE DONGER;....Finally returned from its travels in Fiji and awarded to Helmet and his Budgie. 
PRICK OF THE WEEK......At last thrown with great force to Losty because Cummy said so.
More raffles given out again while everyone admired the grand mattresses ingenious parting gift to the hash in the form of a BETTYBOOP badge. You lucky buggers. Thus ended the reign of Boop . THE NEW COMMITTEE;.......Prostitute did his best to bring the very prune like pack to some form of order and somehow a new committee was cobbled together 
See the committee page on this web site for details of the new committee.
ON ON to a fantastic new committee and lots of good hashing times. 
THANK YOU to Metro for supplying the musical entertainment for the evenings proceedings but most of you buggered of so you missed it.
On On Crunchy Crack  


It seems some hashers turned up at the wrong address for NotYet’s run – could it be that the notes showed Solomon CLOSE, instead of Solomon PLACE!?!?  Those that arrived safely in the rain took off following the ingenious plastic bag markers, with ManuManu giving the runners report mark of 2/10, however Twisted Sista only managed 1/10…………seems some of the markers were not as clear as they should’ve been!
Returnees: Chopper (only in Cairns briefly to take part in a rifle shooting test); Farcanel  from the depths of EdgeHill; Dodo, the traveller from the wilds of Innisfail and Defeatist – this reporter has been corrected about Defeatist name – evidently it should be spelled De Foetus, so my apologies to all who are offended by this error!
Birthdays: – well Chopper’s was on Valentines Day 14th Feb. Weed joined him taking a downdown in place of Lost and Found (don’t know why) and Fetish also was there – again don’t know why exactly, maybe just because he is so good looking?
Charges: ManuManu as a stand-in for Helmut, Twisty for looking like someone-else (?),
Chopper for charging her and not getting the name right (who knew), and Tutti for asking why ManuManu wasn’t wearing the budgie snugglers. Fetish, Money Shot and Mole for whatever.
Also Betty Boop complaining of chest pain but not allowing Chopper (who claims to be a medic) to massage the area and Tutti Frutti AGAIN but this time for looking like one of the Blue’s Brothers – think it was the dark glasses.
Great BBQ nosh followed a rather damp event


No notes this week??!!?? A fantastic run, drink stop, nosh and great venue. Best run this year!! -run 1741


No notes this week??!!??
But the car park looked pretty good - run 1740


Stealthily Squandering Stratford’s Squalid Streets - RUN 1739
Perched high on the hills of Stratford we waited... and waited... and waited. LOST N FOUND got impatient and heading off early... so down the hills, round the bends we went on SUPA ’s run(finally). MUTINY’S walkers report was awash after landing BOUNTY in it for taking a “detour”. DEFOETUS thought the run had potential but quickly decided it was simply shit. TWISTED’s big anniversary – 400 runs. Couple of returnees – DEAD RINGER and our newly named HUG N KISS.
A rowdy bunch...BIG BAZ and MAID MARIAN charged for talking again (read “still”). MOLET charge SUPA – no shitty on trail. TWISTED charged BIG BAZ and NO GET for chit chat; GCG charged LOST N FOUND for pretending to be a runner; DEFEOTUS charge MUTINY for protecting ‘Mummy’; PRO charged for disrupting the naming ceremony.
Raffles went to HELMET, LOSTY and TACKLE.


On rather a hot practice AUSTRALIA day the pack were led on a merry chase around Edge Hill. DEFOETUS gave an accurate run report when he described it as boring and lame. The hare: SPREADUM chose not to deny these scurrilous accusations. POWER POLE then pointed out all the wonderful places around Edge hill that the trail could have gone to but didn ’t. Thanks mate. And so SPREADUM took the charge of setting a shit run (arent they all) A wonderful time was had by all in the pool. BITTER and TWISTED got charged for talking (no great surprise there) Several Harriets were called to the front for a charge but the reason escaped me then as it does now. Virgins: Nathan, Visitor: POWER POLE. Anniversary: SOD ON ME 90 runs. As the best dressed rooster in the place PRO stood in as the Sergeant of arms Charges: DEFOETUS media tart, TACKLE for pre emptively running out of piss, DEFOETUS for stealing BITTER and TWISTEDs aussie flag, CONCRETE ROD for being a tony abbott look a like in his budgie smugglers. The Raffles were won by SUPA, SPREADUM, BIG BAZZA, SOD ON ME and MANU MANU and MANU MANU. SOD ON ME passed the Prick o the week to TACKLE for giving GAY CUMGARGLER his hash name !!!!!!


More Impoliteness and Disreputable Behaviour - run 1737
The hare: BUMPA STIKHA set a wonderful run through the top of Earlville, half the pack got sucked into the 2km falsie at the start then slowed to a literal crawl towards the end but everyone enjoyed themselves, although BIG BAZZA now needs new hips and not surprisingly scored the walk a 1/10. FOGHORNY gave the run a half/10 because she got wet. PINK and FLUFFY gave a more realistic summation of the run and scored it 3/10. Dancing queen and not yet were charged for not noticing the notice. The PINKS and HANDBRAKE copped a down down The new shirts were modelled. Hip hip Hurrah The pinks copped another one as visitors Returnees were: FUCKIT, HANDBRAKE, CARNT and THAT MUCH Annivs: BIG BAZZA 490, PRICKLE and HELMET 50, HANDBRAKE 80 and KOTEX 50 Charges: LOSTY for talkin, NOM DE PLUME for losing property, FUCKIT for losing and esky, MCTAF for impoliteness (i was f ramed), DEFOETUS for doing the spider dance, PRICKLE for not going down like all females should, WAW for damaging TUTTI FRUITTI, SUPA for talkin, CONCRETE ROD for shortcuttin', the PINKS for disreputable behaviour. It was pointed out that PULLTHROUGH arrived at hash with a microphone in his ear, he was listening to a tape that went: "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out" SPREADEM and HELMET and MO'LE won the raffles


Now some of you may have missed this most serious of hash crimes (because you may have been TALKING), but during the evening the venerable mr KT was hauled up before the pack with this most heinous of crimes hanging like a millstone around his neck. Have a good look at yourselves and don’t let the hash slip any further into a mire of undepravity and niceness. Anyhow....First charge was TOOTY for gobbing on, She drank with the hare FOGHORNY. INOUT gave the run 4.5 out of 10 with a pretty tame report. The incognito BUMPHER STICKHER described the walk as picturesque and excellent and gave it 8 out of 10 because it didn't venture up the red arrow. SODONME was charged for talking.......shit. DEFEATUS for arriving late. PRO for filth. LUCKY for visiting. Returnees were MCTAF, BOUNTY, MUTINY, BIG BAZZA, W-A-W, PENDINGA, OOPS and SODONME. NOT YET has been seen to leave 690 times. BETTY BOOP 480 times TACKLE charged GAY CUMGARGLER for misappropriation of hash property and gave the man? his hat back DANCIN QUEEN was charged for playing dodgem cars on the boardwalk. HANDBRAKE got collared for being a woooooze. SPREADEM charged NO KNICKERS for telling NOT YET to "f**k orf, you are not having a run at my house when I’m not there" PENNY was charged for only coming to hash when RH is away. CRUNCHY was having a bad hair day. BIG BAZZZA got caught wearing old washed shoes. Then OOPs unleashed the "impoliteness" bomb onto KT BETTY BOOP got charged with crocodile baiting. LOSTY was found to be guilty of prompting hashers to short cut and MONEYSHOT was found guilty of shortcutting BETTY BOOP charged SODONME for something which was lost in translation 10 - 15 minutes into the charge KNEETREMBLER and TACKLE won the raffles. What a great night, 38 paying customers were present.



Lost and Found responded f……. off (new terminology) to Helmet (the stand-in GM) over some nonsense…..usual way to start the circle! Kneetrembler gave the run report “well marked with good run home” 5/10; Kotex gave the walkers report “ pretty adventurous run through the quarry” 3/10. So Helmet worked it out that it must be 5 minus 3 (for some reason) and gave the run a 2. Lost and Found was given a ‘hymn’ for the usual complaints.
Virgins at this run were Remey and Foghorn. Returnees: Kotex, VD, Pull Thru, Tackle and ManuManu.
Charges: SuperStork charged Lost and Found, Defeatist and CumGuzza for not holding at the Regroup. (Make of that comment what you will!) Helmet then tried to charge Dancing Queen for somethingorother but that got lost in the melee of chatter so he charged Hanbrake for not seeing thearrows.
SuperStork then charged CumGuzza for losing his bottle of wine from last week’s run and also charged Defeatist for not explaining the non-rules of HHH. It was stated that anything left lying around was fair game to other hashers – Mole said “Hey, I leave Weed out and about and no-one has taken him yet”. Tutti then charged Mole for stealing Weed’s socks so that she could go on the run – poor Weed then had to revert to sipping a cold drink back at the keg. Spread’em charged Twisted Sista and Nogat for severe short-cutting – the sinners!
Next week’s run is Foghorn’s Virgin Run at the BBQ area in Greenslopes Street. (Does that mean only virgins can attend?)
Raffles: Amazingly enough CumGuzza won his bottle of wine back – had a new and original label on it! Lost and Found won a coconut, yeah!. Super Stork and ManuManu won the bottles of wine.
Great nosh was served by Tackle and his little helpers – thanks.
On, on, Tutti Frutti


Prickle Magnet - run 1734

Prickle Magnet hosts the last of the ‘naughties’ HHH run, to see out the decade. Hash notes this week are scarce – in fact not existing but suffice to say a good long run, no rain or shiggy, cool off in the pool and very good nosh including a ginger bread house!! Some virgins and returnees and charges and down downs and lots of other stuff too!
On On


Handbrake’s - run 1733

We had a run, we had a visitor (Ribbed 4 her pleasure), we had some icings. We had Santa for Christmas and we had some bloody good nosh, but no one did notes to tell you all about it!!



It was hot, humid, dense, heavy and that was just Crunchies mood before we even set the trail. Then we set it. Much huffing and puffing going up the goat track trail and around the back of the abandoned cane field. Through scrub, over the creek, down foot paths, down an embankment to a hidden park for drink stop. Losty stole Boopy's car keys and many glares later back at the keg he was duly charged. Once the runners had cooled off in the pool, run reports were given. Virgin Robert gave an outstanding report. Returnee Erica gave an exceptional report. Virgin Kathy listened intently. Returnee Jade demanded to be named. Our hash must be that good to be a 2nd time runner and want to be named. Charges were given. Again to Losty for giving the Grand Mattress a headache. Twisty offered commiserations to our keg master who not only endured damaged to the keg mobile but also about his person. Something to do with swallowing a tooth. Tanx was charged for indiscretions, as was Crunchy. Carnt accepted his charge but as he was busy being stand in Sargent he thoughtfully gave it to Tanx. Returnee Danish Visitors Nils and Lorna observed all with cool detachment. Virgins were brought forth and welcomed as was returnee Erica. Much discussion about the precedents set as our Virgin Robert gleefully accepted his new name of Gay Cum Gargler (he was thrilled and took it like a man). Erica called trail so load and clearly she was named Foghorn (working at Seaswift has some reason there) and Jade clapped her hands with glee being given the hash handle Mouth 2 Mouth (her delicate seductive tones helped there). Raffles were won by people and still no awards. On ON Boopy

Or the alternative break away notes taker....or when the GM can’t remember telling some on to do notes!!
We all gathered at Mc taff’s place . Mc taff had pissed off and was trying to gather members for bike hash from the boatpeople trying to enter OZ .His women folk had been left in charge. Betty/b told us it was on chalk and flour and poo paper and pointed to the front door. Manu manu had bolted and was at least 15 feet in front as we rounded the corner. Up and over and through, then the runners separated from the walkers . in the bush twisted sister was overheard saying o shit there’s lost and found?? On one part of the run Defeatus’s mate was dancing on a drain humming barry manalow song’s!!. In and out was seen once (someone should give that man a backpack full of brick’s ) the run was well marked and everyone made the drink stop, to which some rude bastard pinched betty/b car key’s, pity was taken and they were returned. At the on on the pool was enjoyed and the circle was called . charge’s were plentiful? And raffle’s were won .the R A was called upon, in all his splendour to name name’s. First was a young lady who was named “foghorn” due to her calling on on very softly. Next was another young lady who was named “mouth to mouth”, something to do with a throat operation? , next was Defeatus’s mate , the R A gave the pack a choice of 2 name’s, Gay or cum gargler, “gay cumgargler” it was. Food was presented, and what a feast it was , with desert. The run/ feast had to score a 7.5 out of 10. Betty boob and crunchy crack had out done themselves
ON ON to the next adventure. MUNNIESHOT



The rain threatened to dampen Weed's efforts, but undeterred off the pack went. On along`Poolwood Rd and into the scrub. Wet, Slippery and Slimy (oh! that's a hasher!!) Our virgin Jade called and found trail and our visiting Danish guests Nels and Lorna ran ahead with our runners. On deeper into the swamp. Manu went up to his knees in a hidden hole, Maid Marion found and whispered where On On's were marked, Betty advertised where all the best roots
were, Spread 'Em and Bo Peep didn't stop talking.
Delicate drops of rain moistened our brows, Bumper had her safety dark glasses on the whole run. Carnt, That Much and Nogat kept the rear ranks in check. Losty must have smelt just right as the stray dog glued itself to his side. Tackle didn't like the rain and returned to pre test the temperature of the keg. Crunchy was first to the drinkstop. Pro gave us all a view of his bare bum and Helmet entertained all with his budgie and something to do with smuggling. Visitor Booger kept us enthralled for hours with his joke. Mole cooked fabulous nosh

On On crunchie crack



"Abstemeous" is a real word says SISTED TWISTER
Well we all turned up at Ross and Locke and had a bloody good time (sung to the tune of Gilligans island) After playing musical cars in the chairpark for 15 minutes, everyone followed TUTTIT FRUITYS lead and parked in the most mosquito ridden dust bowl in the southern hemisphere. Suddenly at 6:15 someone realised that we were here to partake of a run and not debate about carpooling. And so off we went over the hill and into the fairyland that is the Goldsborough valley, through the burnt bush, past the horse ranch. within sniffin distance of the new buddist temple, past the sunflower meadow and so on to the drink stop. Then 4 KMs home to the delights of pizza and beer.
Shenanigans aplenty in the circle: PRO was charged a few times, LOSTY copped it in the neck, SPREADEM got picked on, TS was charged to get her away from the food, MONEY SHOT got the low profile award, NOGAT was charged for training for hash, PRICKLE MAGNET was charged because of some haberdashing transgression and MCTAF has been seen to leave 370 times . After most hashers had left, the young thugs in the ute that had been terrorising us for the previous two hours got bogged and begged WEED to help them out.

LOST AND FOUND presented the hash with the new improved run board. And there was much rejoicing. It was reported from the bike hash that MCTAF has been appointed as the BHAGWAN of bike hash, and there was much rejoicing.


(okay so i just made that up, and it bears no relation to the run)
Well we all turned up at flappssys place and we all had a bloody good time. The Suburb of Manunda is varied and plentiful and we saw all aspects of it: from streets to parkland to Ghettos and creeks and footpaths and swamps, this run had it all. However, when AMANDA came to give the run report she couldn’t remember any of this !! and described it as quote "long" and gave it 7/10 Maid Marion gave the walk 7/10
NOGAT was charged for talking before the circle even started. GRANT and KARINA were charged for being virgins. BUMP HER STIKHER was welcomed as a returnee. CARNT celebrated 85 runs TWISTED SISTER has been seen to leave 390 times. PROSTITUTE has done it 650 times, and TOOTI has survived 420 runs
PRICKLE MAGNET was charged for not having sexy roman sandals in the haberdash bucket. PRO charged CHOPPA for letting one of his strippers come to the wrong run. LOST AND FOUND had a multitude
of charges laid against him with regard to the great run board fiasco. WEED was charged simply because he was at the run???? A FUCKIT look a like was charged for letting the hash page run out (HANDBRAKE)
CONCRETE ROD was charged, surprisingly for talking. AMANDA was charged for complaining
NO KNICKERS actually fell asleep in the circle, a first for hash. HELMET and BITTER and TWISTED won the raffles and we all had a fantastic nosh.
See you all next week. notes by CROPDUSTER and ONE LEGGED ANTELOPED
Don’t forget the combined Christmas party at Limmy’s (Tackle don’t go to Yani’s) restaurant $40 per person
Bookings essential !!! No pay - no dinner

After lugging oxygen bottles up to the top of Parkridge, the gathered few then had a mamouth descent and a tremendous trek through the backyard of C and TMs place before the trail even started.
NOGAT bludged, MCTAF volunteered to stay at the venue and monitor the pool temperature and DANCING
QUEEN did the run in anti gravity boots. Just some of the wacky things that happen at Cairns hash each week.
The pack huffed and puffed all the way to McMahons street, following good trail through the sluburbs to the drinkstop at Jensen street. LOIS and VERTIGO bludged a lift on DANCING QUEENS anti gravity boots and scarpered home back to the Parkridge venue, slumbing it in the pool and then a circle was got together.
Due to the imminent arrival of much good nosh the circle was conducted with much haste. Shaun gave the run report, PULLTHROUGH tried (again) and failed hence another down down. Returnees WEED and MOL'E, KOTEX and CRUNCHY CRACK (does anyone not know shes been away) were given a DD. CC was then
charged by PRO for not running hash in Europe. NOMMY was charged because MCTAF didn't see her on the trail once. DANCING QUEENS anti gravity boots were given a drink. MCTAF copped the media tart award.
TOOTITFRUTTI was charged for allowing money to be spent on keg water. WEED was charged for being WEED apparently . FARCANAL gave the "dickhead to TANX.
The highly regarded, much maligned, justifiably outspoken and most reverend RA arrived and allocated the names: INNOUT, MUNNIESHOT and CHEAPTODAY to Shaun, Janelle and Lois, and there was much rejoicing.


The Twisters Tail - Run 1725
The one thing about hash is that it is made up of all sorts of people and all sorts of trail. TWISTIES run offered us all sorts of people but only one sort of trail. It was very straight, very flat with the odd left and right bend. FRED must have had his blinkers on. The Twistest thing about the night was the pasta! Back at mosquito manor numerous run reports were attempted by WRONG WAY, CONCRETE ROD, PULLTHRU and NOM DE PLUME but all failed miserably so down down they went. A bike hash report was given by FLAPPS who managed to get herself a down down for her troubles. Charges from the run were non existent, but other transgressions included multiple charges for no hash attire, then all hashers wearing hash attire were charged!!!! SUPA STORK kept us in stitches over something that was so witty and clever that ive forgotten what it was all about. OOPs was charged for 240 runs in 10 years, TACKLE has chalked up 245 runs (is that right, ed???) SKIDDY was given the double donger and the raffles were won by NO KNICKERS and NIL BY MOUTH. TWISTY introduced the plentiful nosh which had a delicate burnt taste to it and asked that everyone be "abstemious" This is a rather obscure word used only in Edge Hill and means: "to walk around with ones socks in ones pockets". Not surprisingly the meaning was lost on the pack who got stuck into the nosh anyway. Notes by Betty Boop


Handbrakes Hapless Hashing Hadventure - Run 1724

The hash simply doesn’t function without a figurehead, Titular though she is. Without the BOOPSTER there was a lot of milling around before the run, until HANDBRAKE gave the instructions and away we went. The first rain for seventeen months had washed away the trail so HANDBRAKE had to reset it .......poorly and barely see able but we managed. Winding away through the back streets of Yorkeys, no drink stop on the beach, no shenanigans outside the Police station, no ice cream cone at the red rooster. Oh I forgot Yorkeys hasn’t got any of those because when Mr Hedley built the suburb he neglected to build all the essential things that give a "burb" character. It was almost as exciting as running through the edge hill swamp again. Back to the BBQ area where everyone milled around until BITTER and TWISTED decided she was going to take charge and run the circle whilst casually lounging against a tree Tanx was charged with not moving quickly enough to form a circle. TOOTY was charged for having Alzheimers, then promptly charged someone with the same thing three times but five minutes apart. NOM DE PLUME was charged because WEED refused to sing a down down song. WAIT A WHILE and NOGAT between them gave the run 2 out of ten. Mctaf charged himself for not knowing when to stay quiet when faced with a rabid grand mattress with throbbing ovaries. JUGGLER was asked to come forward and celebrate being knocked back for his 50th job interview. LOST and FOUND was charged with not being lost. And that’s that, because that’s all I remember. Things just don’t go as smoothly without the grand Mattress do they?


SOD-ON-MEs Soddin' Sod of a run - Run1723

A confused pack ventured their way down Woodward Street to the central swamp, the home of councillor Di's more esteemed constituants. straight through and out the otherside to the large drain from which many of Edge Hills finest have evolved. Past PCYC back round the other side of "evolution creek" At this point the pack broke into a canter to impress the persons training on the sports fields. Through some scrub led by OOPs, a dodgey map and equally dodgey torch. NOT YET relived some of his childhood romances which took place in these same manky scrubberies to anyone who would listen. Still we trudged on, most of the pack were not following trail but were following BITTER and TWISTEDs moaning. Blue flashes could be seen emanating from the swamp as many a profanity were spoke. SOS did his best to assist the Harriets through this torment whilst NOT YET skipped merrily. (remembering the nookies and the girlies)

Finally, we got out of the swamp, soaking wet, muddy and tired to a drink stop and still kilometres from home.
@ the circle: Visitors and returnees: SKIDDY, SOS, EL RAVE, PAPPARAZZI and OOPs
BITTER and TWISTED charged SOD ON ME for the big log on the trail and the soddin' trail
BETTY BOOP charged FARCANAL for grovelling at her feet
DANCING QUEEN charged BB for illegal log crossing
WISHBONE was charged for pooing in the circle

Someone charged someone else whose name started with P. And so PO PEEP, POOPER STALK, PUGGLER, PELMET, POOPs and anyone else whose name started with P came forward hoping for a free drink! The occasion was so funny that the initial charge was forgotten in all the mirth.

SOD ON MEs food was tasty but no one does rice quite like MEATBALLS do they??? and there was no tomato sauce AGAIN!!!

notes by BETTY BOOP

Sir Meat Balls Redlynch Ramble - Run 1722

About 35 hashers turned up for Meatballs run at Short st, Mona's residence near Meatballs new home. Meatballs was taken to the run and to the drink stop. It was really good to see him getting out again after his stroke. It was a fairly long marathon for a walkers run, through the new shopping centre car park, across the paddock over the highway, across more paddocks under the freeway, up the hills through the creek (for those who thought they were lost) across the cane paddocks and on home. Down downs for all the oxymoron! Cant That Much and Screwer got down-downs for being returned runners. Visitors were Pisshead from Thirsty Hash Brisbane, Jezabel and Floozy from Canberra. Betty Boop got Alzheimer’s disease and insisted she did not see Cant and That Much do a down-down and insisted they do it again, so she got the Prick of the week. She also got a down-down for 400 runs. Meatballs got one for 1178 runs but he's done closer to 1300 runs. Tooti frooti forgot our Trinity visitors, Mona, Gang Bang and Wiggles so they escaped a downdown. Peter? got a down down for wearing GAY shoes (with toes in them). Charged glasses to Meatballs for being an old patron,. Nosh was meatballs and gluggy rice and chicken stew. A good nite was had by all.

on on
No Nickers.

Weed`s Renovation Run- Run 1721
It was a most interesting venue. We knew where we were but somehow odd little things pointed to the fact there was something going on but we couldn’t quite put our finger on it. Was it the complete lack of wallage where there used to be? Some. Was it the smell of freshly applied render(no... that was just the collective odour of the hashes runners) Was it the quantities of cement dust, builders rubble, the fact that the kitchen that was ,now placed on the outdoor patio and that ever so slight covering(only slight mind) of gyprock dust and dirt that veiled all .(it improved the look of some members of the hash). It was revealed that Handbrake and Phukit had only gone away for the week and would be a mite surprised to find that there were subtle differences to what was their family abode. Wending our way down Wau close (the place will look wow when it’s finished) the pack found its way out and onto trail. And well marked it was too. Crisp and clear arrows pointed their way along the deep and inner workings of the suburb of Trinity Beach. Along streets, and more streets we went until we came to the new and premier development of Bluewater and the swanky new apartments and shopping precinct. On through the restaurant zone and miraculous things occurred. Clearly BOPEEP thinks she has divine properties as instead of winding her way along the marked trail to avoid the wet, smelly creek (how thoughtful of you Weed) Bopeep thought she would simply walk on water.” I thought it was grass"......bleats Bopeep. On on we go to the drink stop which would have been worth the effort of staggering up the jolly big hill to a magnificent view over the balmy sea except we couldn’t see a thing as the view was completely obliterated due to the smoke and dust that is completely covering Cairns .Yes..... The renovation is THAT big. Down we stumbled from the drink stop that could have been in the depths of the dark. Back to venue we went to be greeted by massive quantities of prawns and a veritable feast. Returnees ...Snyce and Dunno and our newest pack members Bopeep and Juggla. A welcome return to our Cambridge hashers Papparazzi and ELRAVE not Elrane as madame hash cash misinformed us. For that indiscretion Tooty Frooty was forced to accept a charge as was the lovely Michelle for dallying over the run report. Also Vertigo for completely ignoring the grand mattress the previous week when told to come out the front for a charge. No virgins this week so the goat got the night off. CHARGES....aplenty firstly to Bopeep for having wet bits and again for attempting to hide her new shoes. Nome de plume for an indiscretion that must have been so subtle that the reason remains a mystery. Charges for this and that (who are they you all ask) and various elbow pointing. Mole was brave enough to accept a charge for being the stand in moled from last weeks mouldy old dip affair and a fight between Helmet and Elrave for being stand in Ringpicker media tarts. Dunno told a joke as only Dunno can and fabulous nosh ensued. No awards were awarded. on on to next weeks run. On On BB


A massive pack descended on one of those lovely parks that the hash has not had a chance to frequent often enough judging by the quantity of phone calls made to the grand mattress while on route to the elusive park known only to Not yet and No Knickers. And a delightful park it was too. The good thing about Not Yet setting a run is that you will always be assured of a great trail and a nostalgic history lesson all combined in the one evening. Educational, informative and an insight into the way Cairns used to be. If it wasn’t for hash who knew those great trails and playgrounds and hidden coppices were there....except for Not yet. We were blessed again with 2 male virgins and 1 female virgin (who were reminded not to panic until the goat appeared), 3 fabulous visitors and returnees. The trail began and instantly descended into the scrub and down an embankment into a creek. Instantly Dancing Queen thought she would test the steepness of the incline and depth of the creek by promptly falling in it. Carrying on regardless we continued on our nostalgic investigation of the secret cubby holes and glades and dales and hidden tracks of Not Yets memorable boyhood days. On we climbed, trudged rambled and even ran through the older suburbs of cairns. On into the darkness and trail was a little harder to see. Bringing a torch helps a lot. Dissention occurred about the where about of the drink stop. Not Yets words echoed in some hasher’s ears” the drink stop will be worth the view”. It sounded scarily like a massive ascent up a hill awaited us.YUP!......Up a massive hill we went to what has now become Belair estate and the view would have been good if we could see past the trees. Down we came and finally returned to the elusive park of Not yets boyhood dreams only to be met by the alarmed cries of Tackle( thoughtful man) warning all his fellow hashers not to touch the bikkies and dip quietly sitting on the table waiting to be consumed by hungry hashers. Apparently the dip was past its use by date and the bikkies had been test eaten by obliging rodents to ensure their lack of freshness and eat ability. Crisis averted a rowdy circle began. Again our virgins were assured of the goats gentle nature and visiting visitor from Cambridge, UK, Elrane and Paparazzi gave the run report a stupendous 8 out of 10. Twice the hare scored that score in the one evening as virgin Shaun also awarded that score.
Virgins .....Janelle ,shaun and Robert were sacrifficed......errmm....welcomed
Visitors....Elrane, Papparazzi,and Incredibly Gobby Tart 2(from melbourne) were welcomed
Returnees....The lovely Amanda and Erica,Michelle and Pullthru were returneed.
Charges laid were from Twisty to Noknickers for rat eaten biscuits and out of date dip....(they were mice eaten)Dacncing Queen for being a media tart
Mole charged Tanx for NOT tacking photos of titties on choppas titty girl run.
Bettyboop charged Tanx for being therefore gay
Mole again to Lois for tripping herself up(self promotion charge)
Sodon me to Nome de plume for something. As we couldnt decipher Sods charge we charged Nommy and Twisty for being new Australians.
Betttboop to Elrane for stealing Farcanels name.
Many songs, charges indescrections ,jokes and rambling on later the pack fed and watered gave Notyet another down down for a top night


Choppas Monster Memorable Mammaries Marathon - Run 1719

A massive pack including 12 male virgins and 2 female virgins arrived at the soon to be resort style home of Ex Grand master and Mrs Master Pennisimo and Fortitsimo at White rock. 12 male virgins, 2 female virgins welcome returnees Count cunny, Tony of Catch a Crab,PP,Fifi,even the long lost Donkey of Kuranda hash,army runners ,two terrifically tanned ,tall,talkative ,titilating lovelies to serve beer.(thoughtfully giving Tackle the night off) and the usual rabble gleefully tucked into the plentiful grog before attempting the trail. This is possibly our first mistake. The second mistake was asking Wait a While to set trail. The third mistake may have been the fact that Manu Manu set trail in just about the same area 2 weeks previously. The fouth mistake was probably the fact that the pack didn’t listen. that’s the most plausible one as off the pack went, looked,found trail,” On ON was called and blindly the pack all followed. Except Manu Manu who found the chalk signs saying ..OLD....Through secret parks and gardens we went along, past, through until the end of Sheehy road, searching, looking....and looking but the trail died. Utterly extinct. Deader than dead. Even our army contingent couldn’t find trail. Meanwhile Manu Manu is busily and diligently running W.A.W`S spanking new pink surveyors tape trail ALL ON HIS OWN. General consensus was reached. ON ON to the drinkstop except for half the pack who chose to go up the giant hill along Kambarra st. The rest slogged it all along the highway for kilometres to the drinkstop at maccas. The drink stop was drunk; it was quite warm by then. Back we go on home for miles and miles except Mole who thought `bugger this for a game of soldiers... im not running all that way back...i need a cunning plan....ahhh!...Ive twisted my ankle...excellent...plan worked...back in the drinkstop van i go!....only the needle on the fuel gauge is emptier than empty. Hope W.A.W doesn’t run out of fuel.... Not yet and Betty were left to walk back with an ailing and failing Mctaf .Ambulance please Back at the on afters charges flowed. The drinks were drunk. Odd and unusual attire was worn .Returnees; visitor’s virgins were down downed. Double donger was awarded to Manu just when he had divested himself of the giant prick of the week which he passed onto Wait a While. Manu was also successful in achieving run of the month status. A popular guy. Delicious and plentiful nosh was provided by Jit who should receive nosh of the month. A top night yet again Choppa. On On


Fishery Falls 14th-15th-16th August 2009

A jovial pack of many turned up at the character filled Fishery Falls Hotel for a meet and greet and lots of jollity to celebrate Cairns 1700th plus run and Trinity`s 1500 th run.

Lots of meeting and greeting,drinking ,laughter,dancing and drinking ensued and set the fun tone for the weekend.

The theme for the weekend was LEGENDS as the combined hashes were at Fishery Falls and to celebrate the legendary efforts put in by the combined hashes for a memorable and legendary Nash Hash 2009 and the fact that each club had acheived a legendary number of hash runs.

Legendary and memorable moments were aplenty throughout the whole weekend beginning with the friday night at the pub. the lovely songstress accompanied by a rather enthusiastic tamborine lady began the evenings fun and games and the pub had never enjoyed such a lively and captive audience.

The frivolities continued into the wee hours round the hash campsite once we drank the pub dry and the tamborine lady wore out the bells on the tired tamborine.

Tackle had set up a cosy campsite complete with brazier and plenty of grog.much more laughter ,drinking and even entertainment supplied by Metro and layback with deuelling guitars.

To enhance the legendary tone of the weekend Twisted Sister provided hours of entertainment and a delightful exotic fire dance abetteted by the hapless Metro.

Onto Saturday and a suasage sizzle breakfast and more grog got the day started. Perfect start to a warm sunny day although mole would beg to differ as she was busy testing out the flatness of the ground as being in a vertical position induced last nights dinner to make a reappearance .

More hashers made an appearance as the morning wore on untill the anticipation was too much and hare Nico finnally got the pack goin

Instantly trail went straight on in to a fast flowing creek that falls down from the falls.Mctaf did his best to ensure everyone of the pack were duly deluged with icy water to keep them all cool.So thoughtful.

On through the creek we went,out into the scrub,along a train track.Trudge ,trudge up along an access road,past cane farms,orchards across more caneline.On into the first drinkstop where we were met by a snappily attired Nico and cohorts .Yummy cocktails later back along the same accssess road and caneline a ways. Gangbang was most disturbed as he doesnt remember Nico seeking his permission for using his railway property so blatantly.

Onwards and down a gully, under a road,inside a drainpipe up the scrub(not duff and the harriettes were gratefull),into the bush,down another gully,up an embankment(who wears white pants on a hash run Wanker and Slapper)into the light and onto a second drinkstop of luscious black russians.

Some hours later the pack left the cosy little glade in a haze and stumbled back through the canefields to the highway.

Into the little hamlet of Fishery falls we went disturbing the peacefull exsisstance of the locals.

Gathering unde r a billabong for a third drinkstop of blue rocket fuel the pack dutifully collected firewood for Tackles new and improved campfire.By this stage Bettyboop has vague memories of attempting to sit upon said peice of firewood in the hopes it would fly as by then like many of the pack legs and arms were strangely malfunctioning and failing to work in a coordinated manner.

Sometime later during the circle strange visions began to appear .Steve Irwin was resureccted,Al Jolsen gaily singing the praises of his mammy, Dianna Ross with a wonky wig,Polly Darton with copious blonde hair,Lucille Ball shedding pink feathers,Dippa.......hmmmm.. star attractions Maid Marion and Robin Hood(ooh, those legs)Prizes were awarded but to whom for what is all a mad blurr.

Many charges were laid and promptly downdowned.Bums were frozen on ice,cones of silence worn,arms of torture put on,cups of doom drunk and Al Jolsen didnt spill a drop.

Party time again at the pub abd kept going even when the band packed up.

More grog, more songs more duelling guitars round the campfire untill it was time for the nude run which was well patronized.

Hot brekky sunday morning followed by hair of the dog.A Little Mulgrave Hash recovery run was the order of the day.A dozen takers wended their way to the Falls except Mctaf who spat the dummy and turned back.Once there more grog magically appearred and a cicle was had in the cooling creek.Being a sunday and a sacred daysuitable religoius songs were sung assisted by Kotex, Handbrake and Phukit. Strange scenes were viewed by the chosen few as Metro was unaware of the swimming option available at the creek and begged Skiddys stripey knickers off her to go swimming in.Being an obliging harriette that she is the knickers looked very attractive against Metros tan.

The weekend drew to a close were remarkably the hash were offered a welcome return to the caravan park by the owne .rs.

Thankyou to all that assisted with campsite organization,food and grog supply,trail setting, shirt procurment,fun providing and the hash gods for top weather.



Run 1718 Whistle Blower

Run 1717 Toolbox

Run 1716 Tackle

when tackle rings weed to check where the trail is on monday then rings mole and also the grandmattress to double check where the trail is on monday you can begin to suspect that there is some confusion somewhere along the line. But no,.... Weed, Mole ,and the Grandmattress are all on the same page and the run is actually at tackles abode that very same monday.It just took Tackle lots of convincing that in fact...Yes, the run is at your place tonight Tackle like we advertised last week. But i wasnt there last week says tackle. We know , says the grandmattress ,but your run has been advertised on the run board for some weeks now Kegmaster......Much grumbling and panicing later Weed, Mole and the Grandmattress all assured Tackle that we can all offer help to set trail ,supply nosh and all the usual assistance ones` fellow hashers supply.
Like a true hasher that Tackle is he soldiered on and got Wait a while to set a mighty long endurance run while Tackle concentrated on his forte of supplying top nosh .
So , the pack arrived at chez Tackles unaware of the drama that unfolded during the course of the day.
And a marvellous trail it was too. A traditional hashing trail in the canals and drains of Man Unda that involved lots of stinky shiggy, (bettys shoes still stink)DARK AND DANK pathways by canals,up steep embankments that required visiting hashers from Botany Bay to assit our local harriettes up the
said steep embankment. along the outskirts of Heritage village,onto the inner streets of Man Unda and finnally onto the drinkstop at Wait a whiles.
Now here is where the serious charges begin.
the front runners clearly made it to the drinkstop as the middle runners also clearly found evidence of a drunk drinkstop.Empty cups ,wet slop on the ground ....but no drinkstop or drinkstop providers.after a hideously long slog to get through all the long straight roads,through the medical centre, up busy thoroughfares,back streets and smelly shiggyTHE DRINKSTOP HAD LEFT THE BUILDING.
Gasps of thirst and disbelief overwhelmed the middle runners and thoughts of the rest of the pack turning up and not being able to quench their thirst were thought.
Major charge numder two. after a marathon effort to get back to the keg all the pack returned tired and THIRSTY.
Immediately Wait a while was accosted to find out what happened to the missing drinkstop.Instantly Wait a while tried to lay all the blame on Tackle.
HE DIDNT WANT TO WAIT.I tried to tell him what a bout the walkers.Ahh Bugger `em. says Tackle. who to beleive as a hashman never lies.
the circle began and our lovely returning visitor Just an Inch gave a stupendous score of 8 despite being led astray.
Charges; Losty and the returning DEEFEETUS for not going out and searching for the lost Grandmattressand sargeant st arms.
Visitor No NOB for having to join them for not being able to think of an appropriate song to sing to the miscreants.
Acharge for our returning Virgin that was, Michelle; for being brave about returning after the farcanel train track trail debacle
Returning visitors Moses and Just an Inch for coming three months solid.(STUPENDOUS EFFORT)
A nother charge to Michelle for wanting to go to the meet and greet night at fishery Falls hotel and being friends with the band but forgetting to turn up.
No Nob charged the Kegmaster for forgetting the GM IS GODESS AND PULLING OUT BEFORE THE GM COMES the drinkstop.
Boopy charged Dancing Queen for making Boppy apologise to Dancing Queen for not using the notes what she wrote but failed to give to boop to actually write them with ??????
More charges to tackle because we were in the mood.
A reunion charge to Lost and Found, Mctaff AND No Nob for having a royal penninsula Mens H3 reunion with only themselves.
Pull thru for playing with his blackberry in the circle and NomDe Plume for leaving last weeks run without her box.
Awards : Double donger from Weed to Helmet because he was so keen to give us all a brown eye.The giant prick of the week is still with the lovely Toolbox so we may be licky and get that back this week.......ON ON .

Run 1715 Kneetrembler

Run 1714 Farcanel

Farcanels Terror Train Track Trail

When the hare rings the Grandmattress to say "sorry im not there yet but im not far away" and the grandmattress rings the kegmaster to say "sorry im not there yet and neither is the hare but we` re not far away" you just know its going to be an odd night.
the pack finnally departed along a canefeild, out to a footy club regroupspot, over the road, up a f!!!!ing giant hill to a water tank. from there the terror trail began.
on down through the deep terrain and scrub with barely a torch between them,on and on down it went.the dark trail kept on going untill the pack emerged out into the back suburbs of freshwater, out onto the road and on home via the marked trail.
this is where it all went awry and the real terror began. following the trail onto the train bridge in the dark the panic began to set in.
Mctaf caught our virgin hashers as they jumped off the bridge while Betty simply stopped and Tackle and Mole did their best to soothe her and get her off the track as the 7.42 from freshwater came thundering down the line. The run was summed up as "an old fashioned run" according to Weed. So Wait a While was called out the front for being old fashioned.Tanx thought thr walkers walk was "interesting, plenty of obstacles although the trail petered out.
Virgins were called to the front.
Michelle and Robert ( who`s not 95 kilo according to Mctaf) .
Visitors: Goanna,Plugga,and the lovely Skiddy
Charges: Supa charged the train company for not being on the train track at the right time as did Not Yet who didnt listen and said the train should have been an hour earlier. This caused the Grandest of mattressess to faint with yet more fright and kiss the ground with thanks to the great hash god.
Boopy charged herself for being a wimp and causing her mascara to smudge. Mole charged Mr Spock for being a superhero but also for forgetting to push the record button on the Betamax recorder to save THE BILL.
Dancing Queen was charged for being out in front so the packed dutifully hummed the dancing queen song.
Weed charged himself for being a dickhead on the forthcoming celebration run.
The POW was awarded to to weed because he is going to be a dickhead at this weekends celebration run.
Did you know that your rego also includes the entry fee for the Pyrimid race; amazing deal!!!!!
Farcanal pulled off the daily double and won both raffle prizes

Run 1713 Tanx

Run 1712
McTaf Brithday Bash

Run 1711 Prickle Magnet

Prickle’s Prickley Prickle of a run

Lois gave a virgin walkers report and said she enjoyed it. Don't remember a score. Masturbate joined the hare for a down down for singing a boring hash song. Mole reminded all about the celebration run and to cough up $20 deposit for a shirt. Theme for the weekend is LEGENDS. The Ladies HHH next week is at Centenary Lakes. Before that on Monday is McTaff's 50th birthday run at Green Ant Cantina and wear a party hat – doesn't matter where. But if you're reading this you're at it. BREAKING NEWS – the last John Farnham Little Mulgrave run will be the recovery run on 16th August at the celebration run. Returnees were McTaff, Big Bazza back for the V8's, Sodomy, Deep Throat, Lois and Vertigo and visitor was Masturbate all the way from Townsville. Charges went to Sodomy for being pre-emptive, Lois and Vertigo for being good harriettes and knowing how to go down, Nom for being in the bushs and making Weed think it was raining, Helmet for no regroup or drink stop on the run, Super for making disparaging remarks about the walkers, Toolbox for making Betty run?, Betty and CC for PDA, Sodomy charged Knee Trembler and Big B for something in Darwin, Lost and Found for something about a drain, Super for organising rain as R.A., Deep Throat and Wait-a-While for chattering and Twisted because she was the subject of their chatter. Weed gave the prick to Betty for spoiling McTaff's surprise birthday party. Double donger went to Prickle for not having washing instructions on Haberdash and making all Dancing Queen's clothes dirty. Lost and Found was given a down down for not making Handbrake pass on the garment of the month.
Raffles went to Dancing Queen and Tackle

On On Maid Marion

Run 1710 Weed

Hash Notes – Weeds Run

T’was a crisp chill in the evening air as we walked through the grassy plain and wandered into a well marked trail with plenty on tooty paper for those who need to have a pit stop on the way.
Through the trees we wondered with Phucket wanting Two Tit Frutti to lead the way to see if she got wet in the ripple of gentle flowing water.(Phucket was charged for this). Out of the bushlands and into civilization finding our way to the drink stop with front runners taking us all on a few false trails.
From the drink stop it was on-on home down what Twisted said – boring straight run/walk home).
Run report given by Pro was a 1.23, walkers report by Twisted was a 2 – Weed informs us that is a 1.62 average.

Tackle – who ran the circle gave a run report on the Townsville V8 weekend.
Said that it was a great weekend for those Hashers that went to Townsville for the V8 car. His only complaint was that Weed snored so much they had to get up and have a few drinks cause they couldn’t sleep with the noise of Weed. (ed note – they were all in bed by 8 pm except Weed who went into town and had a good night)
Mole said it was good as she had 3 yank staying with her.

Return Runner: Count Cunny, Phucket, Two Tit Frutti, Tackle, Pendinga, Whistle blower

Awards: Phucket 361 runs, 260 for Tackle, 150 for Nom De Plume
Kotex gave Weed the Prick of the week for Snoring so loudly and setting up a tent in a house.
Twister Sister gave Tackle the titty because it was his birthday

Charges: Twisted for Phucket for making Two Tit Fruit lead the way in the bushland
VD charged Nom De Plume, Twisted and Count Cunny for breaking away from the run for a Wee Wee stop.

Announcements: McTaffs birthday bash at Green Ant Cantina, Celebration Run 15/8/09 no deposit no shirt., Little Mulgrave run 16/7/09 – come as it my be the last one again.
Ladys Hash 29/7/09

Run 1709 Supa Storks

SuperStalk’s Birthday Bash for Boopy

Run 1708 Dancing Queen

Virgin Run for Dancing Queen
What a run. Had all the makings of a great run but…………….

Run 1707 Meatballs

Run 1706 Flapps

Well …………………..didn’t receive any notes this week so read on
There’s not much more
Well done for the run Flapps

Run 1705 Tackle

Tackles Queens Birthday Run
And as the meeting started the pack were unruly and the man virgin and pull through where pulled up for talking in the ranks. Run report by Messiah was short and to the point: No one ran! Followed by a full report by Cunilingus and given 1 out of 10.
Charges arising from the run: Daily Mail charged from the Cook Town run for driving on the wrong side of the road. Betty for having a blonde moment and looking for her phone in the wrong bag. Messiah for being to skinny. Pull Through no Hash shirt. Twisted for a water stop on run. Helmet for making fun of the Kiwi (doesn’t every one). Weed for mentioning his other woman in his life. Daily Mail again for being baffled by our Aussie clocks and for pushing Weed down an embankment (She did have a good weekend). Twisted for not knowing her own name and having her necklace on back to front. Awards: Nougat given the Tit for short cutting.
Announcements: There is to be a helper’s night for all the Hashers plus partners who helped out during Nash Hash, to be arranged some time in the near future. Little Mulgraves run will be on the 21st of June same time same place and lets hope that Pro turns up this time, though I have heard he is looking for volunteers to set some runs as he has had enough which seems fair. Anniversary’s: Tutti 400 runs – Betty 430 runs. Returnees: Chopper, Blake and Pull through. Visitors: Daily Mail from the USA and Cunilingus from Canberra. Virgin: Mathew. Prickel Magnet was unjust fully charged at the end of the circle for a advent not being Hash related when Helmet cut his leg open earlier that day and Prickle had to patch him up, Helmet seemed to think that Prickle was overcome with the sight of the wound, may I put things straight and say that Prickle did a great job of patching up the wusses leg so he did not have to go and have stitches which scares the shit out of him and the wound is currently healing nicely.
On On Prickle Magnet
The reason that I did not want to go to the drop in was that it was late in arvo on a public holiday Monday and I would have been there for ages and we would not have made it to Hash. Nomination for hash man of the year is justified I feel.
On On Helmet

Ed Note :- No domestics in HASH!!! OR RIGHT OF REPLY

Run 1704
McTaf’s Run started at his house at the back of never never land of Edmonton where it was very dark and a little on the rainy side at times. Manu Manu gave a 3 of out 10 who was a front running bastard. Handbreak gave her generous score of 5 out 10 and she thought it was well marked, a good walk and of course good scenery. What do you mean, good scenery, it was too dark to observe anything. The run board is a little empty so please write your name on the white board if you haven’t done a run for awhile. Twisted Sister wanted to let everyone know that Meatballs is now on the 5th floor at the Cairns Base and he is making a slow recovery. If you would like to visit she suggested around meal time so you can help him eat as he is having a little trouble feeding himself and the nurse seem to disappear around that time. 21st June Mulgrave Hash will be having there last run. Pro is basically sick of setting runs.
Return runners: Crunchy, Tutti Fruiti, Pro. Birthdays: No knickers
Camping weekend will be a combined with Trinity and looks like it will be the 3rd weekend of August. Looks like it will be at Mulgrave Valley starting Friday night with dinner at the Mountain View for those who would be interested and the weekend will continue from there.
Charges: Twisted not knowing where the run was and ringing Tutti Frutti (whose has been away for the past month). Superstalk taking a charge for all that got wet. Mole: commenting it wasn’t raining and then of course bucketing down. Kotex: Looking at jumping the fence, regarding sex change in life and That Much has a daughter who may be interest. Flaps: Phone ringing in the bag. Pro: Not setting the run for Mulgrave.
Prickle Magnet gave the double donger to Pro for setting the notes on fire last week. Wait a While gave the genuine article (as he put it) to Kotex. Nomey: for forgetting the hat for nosh of the month at home. Run of the month candidates were Tackle, Hand Brake, That Much, Lost and Found and the lucky winner was Handbrake which she got a down down. Superstork for spending the last 10 days in NZ playing with the sheep and hoping he hasn’t introduced sheep flu. Raffles won by Betty, Lost and Found again, Tanks and Not Yet.
Euro Hash 503 was held in Turkey and Pro went along and wasn’t really that impressed. Organization was fairly average he thought compared to our Nash Hash which was well organized. He liked the idea of 24hr grog at the hotel. McTaff had to let us know that he will be 50 at the end of July and he was going to set his run from Green Ant Cantina at Bunda St on 27th July where he will be throwing in a couple hundred dollars for drinks and dinner will be approx: $15 for the night. He didn’t realize how many friends he had because everyone was interested in coming along. Next weeks run is at Tackles, make sure you bring a torch and other accessories to protect yourself as there is a lot of danger in his area of town. Key rings are available for purchase from Prickle Magnet for $2.00ea. Nosh was a lovely corn chowder and a pasta bake.
On On Koty

Run 1703 Handbrake – Maghoney Street

The names might be changed to protect the innocent………………
We showed up to gloomy skies which promised a lot but never delivered, sounds like some old girl friends. The nice casual jaunt around Manunda, Mooroobool, Manoora and Parramatta Park was very nice and capped off by No Gut spilling the drink stop. Upon arrival back to the establishment Can’t gave the walk a minus -5 and Screwer gave the run, well we will get back to you on his run report when we get it. Mctavish was appointed to act on behalf of Crunchie Crack. We all were given the bad news that Sir Meatballs has suffered a second stroke and is in the bottomless pit that we call the Cairns base Hospital. We all wish him well and look forward to when he can return.
Betty Boop then started the charges and as returnees we had Loopie, Fuc it , Flapps, Dodo and Flat Head. Twisted Sister and Nom da Plume were charged with relieving their weak bladders on the run. No Gut kindly accepted a charge for spilling the drink stop, what a gentleman. Wait a While and Manu Manu for gossipping. Fuc N Hel for low profile award. Weed tried to charge Helmet for the rain, which was reversed because it didn’t rain while on the run, don’t know where Weed went. De-fetus charged Betty Boop for failure and dereliction of her forsaken duties. Sodomy well for just being Sodomy. Nom de Plume for trying to pawn the Nosh of the Month off early and just to keep Sodomy company.
Awards were kindly given to; Deep Throat - Prick of the Week, for being lazy. Prickkle Magnet decided to hold onto the double donger for another week, hope she has a firm grip.
Tackle in his ever solid commitment to Hash raised $30 by selling the Nash Hash banner to Loopie and Flathead who have promised to bring it to the next Nash Hash. Lost and Found kindly reminds everyone to put your name on the board for a run otherwise he will have to set the runs. The night was capped off by the lovely Nosh that Handbrake must have spent hours doing up, (definitely in the running for Nosh of the Month), and Twisted Sister and Lost and Found won the raffles. On On till next week.

Run 1702 That’s Much – Grendale Street, Park Ridge

Run 1701 4XXX (Lost & Found standin, stunt double), Henley Park

Run 1700 Cock’n’Bull, - Nash Hash Post Lub – 160 Hasher atttended

Run 1699 Committee Run – BBQ Area Greenslops Street – 95 Hasher attended

Run 1698 Moffle` -

Run 1697
13-04-09 Tanx

Run 1696
06-04-09 Helmet & Prickle Magnet

Run 1695
Non De Plume

Nom de Plume’s Reliance Run

Hash met at the home of Nom de Plume in Reliance Street, Bentley Park. At the appointed hour we wandered off down one of the many walking tracks, looking as usual for markings. These were large ad plentiful. Up and down hills we wandered until we were at last back to Nom de Plumes. The circle convened with the news that Maid Marion was missing, we were assured by Twisted that she had gone on the run some 10 minutes after we had all departed. This proved to be the case as during the circle MM returned from her lonely run.
The run report was given by Boner who declared that it was “the worst run he had ever been on” and then gave it a score of 5!! Sue summed up the walker’s report in one word - IMPRESSIVE and awarded a 6
Announcements: A flyer is available about our 1700th run which is to be held on 4th May at the Cock and Bull. Weed bought up the subject of the 1699 run – it had been proposed that this would be a $5 run and buy your own beer. Weed questioned why are we changing it, a vote was taken and passed that we keep it as a standard night – ie $10 and drinks provided. During the evening Knee Trembler, with the help of Nom de Plume’s computer has been showing photos of Basil Thrush’s wedding in Vietnam. KT gave an account of the wedding which he attended. Basil had made his speech in Vietnamese – very impressive. KT presented a shirt to Betty Boop from the Saigon Hash. Amelia joined KT as “stand-in” bride and groom for a down – down.
Returnees: Knee Trembler, MOFL, Pussy Bob, Sodome. Visitors: Boner, Sue from Cairns Heavenly Hash.
Run Charges: Supa Stork charged Please Explain with a very long but definitely plausible tale of how Please Explain treated three small children and their bikes when they asked him if they could join him on the run.
Betty Boop charged Sue for something about getting to know the concept of Hash as she had made the remark that “It was easier going down.” She could not have been talking about the hills!! Hash Cash charged the hare for giving us false information about the run, she had said it was short, no hills and we could not get lost. She also failed to mention that we might need torches. This failure meant that MOFL and Tutti had to spend a part of the walk holding hands as Tutti could not see in the dark!!
Awards: Amelia and Siobhan were awarded the double donger for “running past old men on the run”
Weed was awarded the P…. of the Week for making Betty Boop swear at the last Nash hash meeting.
The raffle was won by Wait-a-while and Sodome. A joke was told by Sodome, an old one but a good one!
Next week’s run is at the home of Helmet and Prickle Magnet at 17 Melia Close Forest Gardens. Helmet suggested parking at the display centre as there is limited parking in the Close

Run 1693
230309 Twisted Sister & Lost & Found
Twisted and Lost & Found attracted a large gathering at Edghill which ambled off on plenty of trail around (& around) suburbia in tedium till everyone got bored and headed back to the keg. . Farcanal gave it
4.5 but appeared unexcited by the lack lustre run. Whistleblower, lost in the crowd gave it 3.5 The Grand mattress made a night of it and came in last. The green pool will soon be home to a variety of amphibians (no not Pro) water weeds and mosquito larvae. The circle welcomed virgins Siobhan and Amelia and many returnees. Chopper,Please Explain,Whisleblower,That Much and our Patron Sir Meatballs. News being Chopper learnt how to Pole dance (Power Pole ?) at Pan Asia in some very gay pants, Crunchycracks ubbringing is showing cracks,Tee Pee wants 2 men in tights (me too) and tutus. Pro was charged for chatting up old Biddies on the run, and Farcanal got his Bum Burnt on Burning Brothel Boat. How do you like your steak ? trick question I thought , but no Twisted fed us well.

Run 1692
160309 Lost and Found KFC Park, Henley Street, Earliville
What Happened to 4XXXX
Lost and Found (and his non-existent friend 4X) run at Henley St park
Manu Manu awarded a .169 for stealing his preferred run site. Before the circle even started Boopy, No Nickers and Manu were all charges with wearing green in anticipation of St Patrick's day on Tuesday, also Flapps and Spock were charged for forming their own circle..... No visitors or virgins to report. The lovely Hand Brake was the only returnee. And Pro was given a down down for clocking up 630 runs. Spock informed us all of the movement of the international space station and the spockolite space shuttle. And to keep an eye out for it in the early morning hours. Plenty of charges from the rowdy pack that gathered with the local indigenous family groups feasting on various fried chicken dishes. PDA from Prickle and Helmet, Manu for ignoring Dr's orders, and Losty failing to shut Mole and Boopy up even when they were huffing it up a steep climb!!!!! Mctaf charged for his shiny new shoes.
The raffle was won by Tutti and Helmet. Awards: the donger went to Weed , something about him being so busy he can't fulfil his "nocturnal duties."
Announcements: Weed has opened a pool to guess the number of regos for the Red Dress run. $1 for each guess. The next Little Mulgrave will be held on the 19/04 from the Mountain View Hotel. And the Harriettes Lunch is full, also the Hammersley lunch too.

Run 1691
090309 Tackle

Run 1690

Superstalks Brooom
Everyone admired the new Hash car named 'Brooom' garaged at Supa's address but soon realised that it really wasn't for our use. Most of the hashers set off on the promised (or was that threatened) extended run, except for Crunchie Crack who was carrying an injury, or so she said. Methinks she was conserving her energy to serve the Circle as GM because Betty Boop had lost her voice somewhere on the cycle ride during the weekend with McTaff, (Wot the!) A few of the walkers (the one's with great intelligence and cunning) turned 'on home' about half way, while the other adventurers carried on into the 'wild, blue yonder'.
Helmet assisted Crunchie Crack in the circle and McTaff served the drinks.
Run Report: Nom-de-Plume charged Supa because the run was too long and no drinkstop - a minus 3 was awarded.
Returnees: Maid Marion, Ingrid and Concrete Rod
Charges: McTaff for having sympathy ? ?; Betty Boop for a sore arse; Crunchie Crack for sore knee - what a collection! Concrete Rod, just for being here. Tanx for non-hash attire. Ingrid and Nom-de-Plume for talking in the circle, Tackle for something to do with Ginger Beer and of course, Twisty for talking in the circle.
That Much charged Carnt for getting lost on the way to Super's so Carnt charged That Much for bad navigation - nice to keep it all in the family! Oh yes, and Big Bazza for talking in the circle!
Lo-profile award to DoDo.
Awards: Run of the Month - McTaff Lump of Lard to someone who was complaining about the Ginger Beer. Double donger: ManuManu for turning his back on the circle - sacrilege - and also for not calling 'On on" to others on the run! Prick of the week: to Supa, just because.

On, on................Tutti

Run 1689
230209 Tool box

Toolboxes run from Henley Street Park 23rd February
It was a motley crew that gathered in the park with trepidation at the possible threat of storms that night, some more prepared than others with umbrellas in tow. The hare was noticeable absent having been called in to work with Manu Manu being rushed in as a stand in hare. The pack was called to order by the new old GM and Manu Manu told us that he had rechecked the trail and it was mostly still there and to use his own words “If you can’t find it you need to get a guide dog”. As we headed off these parting words must have played on a couple of hashers minds because at the first check and after we had headed up a false trail a certain hasher was heard to call “On On” which led to another hasher that practices the same profession after saying “Look there’s an arrow” to also call “On On”
Now I have always heard that “Justice is Blind” well this was the proof. The arrow in question was no more than a scrape mark in the tarmac. The run continued until we finally ran out of trail along side a creek just west of Mulgrave Rd. Most of the pack could smell the beer by then (or was it KFC) and took the shortest root home. Numerous comments were heard from the pack as it reformed back at the park with “Custer saw more bloody arrows at Little Big Horn than I saw tonight” one of the more repeatable ones. The pack was called to order by a somewhat damp GM and called for a Run report from Pendinga: shit run, lack of trail was a big issue as the rain had washed away most of the trail, confusing both runners and walkers alike and then came more rain. We all huddled together for the circle while the heavens opened and tried to steel the show, but as always the show most go on.
Charges were a plenty bit sadly time has dulled my memory but here goes.
Manu Manu for the Hare
Carnt and -------- for not coming to hash due to the cleansing diet that they were both on to get fit for Nash Hash.
Toolbox, Carnt & ------- for being returnees
Prickle Magnet for squeaky shoes.
Nom De Plume for some thing or other.
The charges were by this time getting harder to control as the rain had now turned into a torrential downpour.
Toolbox came to the rescue with great nosh.
The prick of the week was deservedly awarded to the Hare for his shit run.
On On: Scribed by Helmet

Run 1688

Out with the old- in with the new
Auspiciously the run this week was the same as last weeks. We could have done it blind folded. The excuse was that we needed to be present and alert for the election of the new committee. Prior matters first. Weed published details of his odyssey by way of email. It appeared he visited every second drinking establishment in Cairns in the space of a Saturday morning and early afternoon. He awoke in Palm Cove and wondered if it was Superman or Doctor Who that got him there. Tackle has signed on to help Weed visit the other drinking establishments this Saturday. We commend Tackle for his concern for Weed and his health and we know that Tackle won’t drink on this adventure. Spock turned up to advise that Nash Hash numbers should soon exceed 800 and we should ask for another $25,000 from the Queensland Government so we can piss it all up against a wall. Good stuff.
To the election, what these notes are all about. Firstly the outgoing committee presented themselves for a down down. This was good information for those hashers who didn’t know we even had a committee and good information for those who suspected we had a committee but didn’t have a clue who was on it. Elections duly took place under the Gerrymander- Hare Clark- Robert Mugabe polling system. Tackle and Not Yet, in charge of booze. Hurray. Tutti Frutti in charge on money. Supplements the pension. Assistants No Gat and No Knickers- pensioners in waiting. Betty Boop as Grand Mattress, an official title which means ‘haranguer’.
Assistant GM’s, Crunchy Crack and Helmet- haranguers in training. On Sec- not filled- the position was forgotten about. Haberdash- Prickle something- should do a good job provided she can find the haberdash that Tanx lost. Religious Adviser, SuperStalk. Has the cum gargler naming rights. Hare Raiser. Can’t remember his name, he doesn’t know our names. New to Cairns. Hash mismanagement or brilliance again. Innisfail correspondent. Do Do. Will send in communications by banana truck.
That’s all I can remember.
On On Farcanal

Run 1687
090209 Kneetrembler

Run 1686
020209 McTafe, Old cementary

Run 1685

Australia Day Breakfast, then lunch, then dinnnerrr

Run 1684
190109 White-a-While

Run 1683
120109 Not Yet 1 Solomans Close

Run 1682
050109 Pullthrough 51 Carnation Drive

Run 1681
291208 Oops 114 Woodward

Run 1680
221208 PRO Ross & Locke , Little Mulgrave River, Gordonvale (camping)

Run 1679
151208 Mole` 14 Poolwood Road, Kewarra Beach (pool)

Run 1678 Christmas Run

Run 1677 December the 8th
Host Hare: Carnt at Brinsmead

Spectacular Laser show and a dip in the pool followed by the circle at 19.15hrs
Run report by Manu Manu for the runners, reported to be a superior run shame the entire arrows where on the wrong side of the road!! Given .9/10 and followed by Kotexs report from the walkers that it was a walk up hills and down valleys and given a 3/10. Reminder by Weed about the 1700 run which was coming up and suggestions where made to make it the June long week end and that we would require a sub committee to organise event, any suggestions bring them in. Reminded about the Christmas party on 9th which by the time you read this will have been and gone. We require a Hash Booze for 2 weeks in January – any takers.
We heard about Pros adventures while setting the ball breaker run with Spock, we understand they got lost despite having a GPS and that Spock is still traumatise by the whole event which Pro utterly denies.
Reminded that the Little Mulgrave Run will be on December the 21st same place same time.
Our virgins: were Rob and Narilee and returnees Handbrake, SOS, Screwier and Kotex.
Betty and Crunchie charged for showing up but not participating in the run – other charges where Screw Up for stolen shirt, Twisted Sister for joining the ranks of the employed, Super Stork for wasting Hash booze and Not Yet for feeling up Twisted Sister.The awards for the night: The big donger went to Kotex, Pro was given the double donger for fucking up and leading Spock astray in the wilderness and weed was presented the lard for the hell of it. Is this a conspiracy! Raffle prizes went to Not Yet and Nonica. Next week’s run1678 - Host Hare: Mole` at Kewarra
Circle finished at 19.45hrs

011208 Pendinga 14 Pellowe Street, Clifton Beach

Well this run had it all; virgins, returnees, children, dogs, reports on a wedding, a naming and even lost persons! Yes, Prostitute and Mr Spock went meandering on a mountain and in spite of having GPS and Satellite phone, still did not manage to meet at the pick-up rendezvous as arranged – which probably means they had a goodly supply of beer on their trek and it had to be taken care of before surrendering to civilization again. No doubt we will be given a lively report of their adventure at our next run. Most of us managed to find the run address quite easily, except for Tanx and Nogat who were taking in the sights of Kewarra Beach and Clifton Beach and arrived about the same time as No Knickers and Not Yet. A run report was given by James (Twisted Sista’s son) and he reckoned it deserved a 7 – how bad is that, well he is a pom – ‘nuff said! The pool was put to good use after the run, even the dogs enjoyed their new playmates in the water. Kneetrembler gave a brief report on Wallaby’s wedding at Palm Cove. Nosh was simply delicious – a lamb roast with all the trimmings – yummy!
Charges: Did not note down all of the charges but think Twisted Sista tried to charge the runners for not waiting at the ReGroup- how unusual. Nom-de-plume presented the reasonably-normal-sized prick to Kneetrembler for trying to kick her while she was bending down – wot the! Garment of the Month went to Tanx.
Cock-or-two presented Cairns HHH with yet another prick –this one made of marble and very large. Surely we now have an over-supply of these items in our Hash?!? Naming: Son of Two-pots and Buggered was named Joey – this was rather strange as being under 18 he could hardly be considered a hasher, however, imagine the welcome he will receive if he comes back from Japan to one our hash runs in about 15 years time!
Virgins: Sandra (friend of Cock-or-two) and Jen (wife of Cock-or-two). Returnees: Leana and James (from England), Toolbox, Cock-or-two, Buggered and little 3 year old son of Two-pots and Buggered.. Raffles won by James and Crunchie Crack. (Must say that the win must have come as a big surprise for CC because a misinterpretation of CC actually owing Hash $4 she received four raffle chances and had a win – guess CC owes us $8 now).
Anniversaries: Wait-a-While 370; Twisted Sista 340; Kneetrembler 340 and of course our hare Pendinga 370. Have made a note that in future anniversaries will only be presented to the circle if achieving a fifty, hundred, or hundreds-and-fifty mileage - the way it always used to be – all those in favour say Aye!
On, on………….Tutti

Run 1674
241108 Bumper Sticker Moowooga Street, Earlville

Run 1973
171108 Tanx BBQ Area, Centenary Lakes

Tanx’s Tangle with the Red Arrow Trail

That all the notes – except that a good time was had by all!!!

On on Tanx

Run 1672
101108 Big Bazza

Run 1669 or something like that
.At least that is what it said on the board but according to Tutti nothing is what it seems. Returnees were Prik Doctor, Big Bazza , Dodo from Innisfail and Bumper Sticker. Shame on the 3 committee members who failed to show up. Were they scared of the full moon? Nevertheless a good time was had by all at Crunchies 24th birthday bash. Betty Boop adorned with her new spectacles kicked off the evening. Betty Boop looked just too intelligent for a hash GM! Tanx gave the report and he was quite complementary about the standard of marking but had to inform everyone that waterproof chalk simply does not work. The birthday girl ended up with a mere 1-5. Hash booze was conspicuous by his absence especially as he entrusted his very important role to Chopper and Wait-a-While. Bad move Tackle! The venue at the Cape York was interesting especially as the fire alarm kept going off due to Big Bazza, s efforts on the barbecue. It was suggested that the alarm was merely responding to all the hasher’s very hot bodies in such a confined space. The birthday girl celebrated 55 runs. Manu Manu 21, Not Yet 79 and Moffel 20. Charges were laid on Not Yet by Twisted for too many stops and regroups and for encouraging Nogat to go with her. Not Yet and Pro were charged for running by the bars at the Pier and socialising with a drunk on crutches along the way. From then on in the fire alarm went off every 5 minutes and Cory and Manu Manu got the blame for this. Pro was charged for standing up and having a beer in his hand.
Betty was charged for claiming that the run would be cultural but was unaware that the art and ceramics display had already closed. Hashers being cultural !!!! Dream on Betty Boop!! The highlight of the evening was the reported arrest of Oops for climbing on the roof of the soon to be demolished yacht club. It was subsequently revealed that she had climbed onto the rotten part of the roof OOPS!!!! Chopper charged the GM for having new glasses and Cory was again charged by Bumper for his lost property. That Much was charged for driving a new Mercedes. Still not off the hook Oops was again charged in her absence for being a media tart on channel 10, claiming to represent 11,000 people but worst of all she failed to wear her hash gear on the roof. Shame on you Oops! Crunchy was charged for wearing thongs. Knee Trembler awarded the double donger to the birthday girl and Knee Trembler was awarded the prick of the week by Bumper for winning the coveted nosh of the month award and modelling the nosh gear around town. I can’t remember who got the lard of the week.
On on Bumper Sticker

Run 1671
031108 Tackle & Wait-a-While
Run by Wait a While, nosh by Chef Tackle
Great to see the combined efforts of the 2 boys. Not that there is anything wrong with that!!
Wait a While introduced the run and was complemented on his shiny hair which was especially polished for the occasion. A vote was taken for hash booze for the night as the usual culprit Was that especially for the pommes Tackle? Mole gave the run report. Directions were good and it went on and on-on-on-on and on. She went on to accuse him of having no regroups and had to be corrected by Knee Trembler who remembered 1. The walkers missed the drink stop at Wait a While’s due to packing up too early. According to That Much the walkers went down the road and up the road, having lost but refound the trail. Not a great deal of intellect was shown by the walkers this evening!! The 2 hares congratulated each other with a cuddle. Not that there is anything wrong with that! Knee trembler imparted some news regarding a hasher by the name of Wallaby who had been in Japan and was soon to be married in MacKay. We all wished her well and hoped that her would be W.H.S.O. husband had done a risk assessment on her for his sake. It was suggested that Knee Trembler gave them his Rolls Royce as a wedding present but we gave them a hash hymn instead and appointed some look alike brides to be.
Returnees were Mctaff, Spock and bouncer?? I am sure they were there last week but been as how I lost my notes I don’t really know. Dodo was also a returnee, spelling DODO (thanks for that Tutti). Is she trying to say some thing about Bumper Stickers spelling?????? Anniversaries went to Betty Boop-420 runs
Knee trembler- 395 Nogat-120 Weed-465
Weed charged Pendinga for being a media tart especially as he was such a high-ranking officer of hash and for calling No Knockers by her real name tonight. Twisted stood in for oops as look-alike due to her numerous recent media displays. Betty Boop charged Knee Trembler for having a Roller and still on the subject of cars someone decided to charge bumper for being a bumper sticker on cars??? Nosh of the month was won by Crunchy the birthday girl. Pro could remember what the lard of the month was for and apologised for all the cat hairs it had collected. Can’t remember who got it but everyone agreed that Non de Plume should have got as she sat in the reclining chair all evening!!! Tit of the week went to Pendinga. Current birthdays include That Much, Weed, and Mole on behalf of Weed and the raffles went to Mole and guess who, Weed!!
On on Bumper Sticker

Run 1670 Twisted Sister

Run 1669

Confused hashers gathered on the corner of Fairview and Anderson, as scheduled but it was decided that although the run was to start from there, because of there being too many nosey neighbours in that area, nosh and circle would be held at Henley Park after the run. (Park next to KFC, Earlville to the uninformed)
A well ‘Fijian-style marked trail seemed to fool most of the pack that mistakenly ran up a hill into a Close – obviously the arrows were to be ignored – eventually they all got onto trail and approached the dreaded railway bridge crossing, only to find there was a convenient walkway provided……………..however, this also was a false trail – what a shame. Pro was charged with leading the pack astray but most finally managed to find their way back. A good run but it only earned 1/10.
Returnees: Mc Taff. No visitors, no Virgins!!1!
Charges to Twisted Sista and Nogat for misbehaving (?) over food.
McTaff for questioning the strange X mark in a circle (maybe really be a Fijian fertility sign). Not Yet, for arguing (is that so unusual?). Twisted Sista took the charge for Weed ‘for not being here’ – a little strange that we haven’t seen him since he won the ‘Snake in the Juice’ at Screwer’s Run….hmmm!
Manu Manu had to take a charge from an absent Fijian, via McTaff, namely Charlie Eaton, who doesn’t have a road from the Fijian airport named after him, it was named after his Father! (what a lot of useless info, I reckon!) Tanx and McTaff had to take a shared charge for somethingorother with Manu Manu and Big Bazza named them Curly, Larry and Mo.
Awards: Crumbs, Crunchie has introduced yet another award - was it named ‘The Soft Touch’ or ‘Boob’ …not sure, but it is in the rather petite form of a breast…what more can I say except don’t know why it was given to Pro. Double D was awarded to Twisty …….well, why not! Bumper Sticker got the ‘Lard’ award for some reason Raffles won by Not Yet and Tackle.
On, on………………TTF

Run 1668 Crunchie

Hope you had a happy birthday
Run 1669 or something like that .At least that is what it said on the board but according to Tutti nothing is what it seems. Returnees were Prik Doctor, Big Bazza , Dodo from Innisfail and Bumper Sticker.
Shame on the 3 committee members who failed to show up. Were they scared of the full moon? Nevertheless a good time was had by all at Crunchies 24th birthday bash. Betty Boop adorned with her new spectacles kicked off the evening. Betty Boop looked just too intelligent for a hash GM!
Tanx gave the report and he was quite complementary about the standard of marking but had to inform everyone that waterproof chalk simply does not work. The birthday girl ended up with a mere 1-5.
Hash booze was conspicuous by his absence especially as he entrusted his very important role to Chopper and Wait-a-While. Bad move Tackle! The venue at the Cape York was interesting especially as the fire alarm kept going off due to Big Bazza, s efforts on the barbecue. It was suggested that the alarm was merely responding to all the hasher’s very hot bodies in such a confined space
The birthday girl celebrated 55 runs. Manu Manu 21, Not Yet 79 and Moffel 20.
Charges were laid on Not Yet by Twisted for too many stops and regroups and for encouraging Nogat to go with her. Not Yet and Pro were charged for running by the bars at the Pier and socialising with a drunk on crutches along the way.
From then on in the fire alarm went off every 5 minutes and Cory and Manu Manu got the blame for this. Pro was charged for standing up and having a beer in his hand.
Betty was charged for claiming that the run would be cultural but was unaware that the art and ceramics display had already closed. Hashers being cultural !!!! Dream on Betty Boop!!

The highlight of the evening was the reported arrest of Oops for climbing on the roof of the soon to be demolished yaught club. It was subsequently revealed that she had climbed onto the rotten part of the roof OOPS!!!!
Chopper charged the GM for having new glasses and Cory was again charged by Bumper for his lost property. That Much was charged for driving a new Mercedes
Still not off the hook Oops was again charged in her absence for being a media tart on channel 10, claiming to represent 11,000 people but worst of all she failed to wear her hash gear on the roof. Shame on you Oops!
Crunchy was charged for wearing thongs.
Knee Trembler awarded the double donger to the birthday girl and Knee Trembler was awarded the prick of the week by Bumper for. winning the coveted nosh of the month award and modelling the nosh gear around town.
I can’t remember who got the lard of the week.

On ON bumper sticker

The fishing was good on Frazer and the weather was perfect in Fiji

Run 1667

Screwer’s Stupendous Stroll

Maid Marion gave the walkers report on the run: very boring walk, drink stop was a water tap in a park, then straight on home from the DS. Christmas party – c’mon people, get your brains into gear and think of something!!
Charges: Maid Marion for interrupting the circle when four cockroaches ran over her feet, Please Explain for TRYING to get out of note taking, Tanx for not managing to sell Please Explain a Hash Shirt.
Notices: Hariettes Wednesday 29th October at the home of The Duchess. (where we are tonight)
Hash circle conversation emulated the house of parliament ‘bull s*@#’ said Manu Manu. “Junior Mattress speaking” Returnees – Gangbang – Mr Spock drank with him. Hair-raiser needs more hares – please oblige Knee Trembler!!! Awards: Double Donger to Knee Trembler. Lard of the Week to Pull Through – put on some weight mate!! Little C… to maid Marion for complaining about cockroaches. Run of the Month to Knee Trembler Charge to Weed for – nothing – no hang on just so Knee Trembler has someone to drink with!!
Raffles – Wait-A-While, Manu Manu and the Elixir of Life – a Vietnamese snake wine was won by Weed.
Next run Crunchy’s Birthday Run at the Cape York Hotel
On On Please Explain

Run 1666
290908 Kneetrembler

Run report….. Is there a run report??
Well I thought it was pretty good!! Thanks Kneetrembler

Run 1665
220908 Bumper Stikher

Bumper’s Beautiful Bumble
About 25 hashers met on a balmy night at the Moowooga Street home of Bumper Stikher. The run got underway after the late arrival of Weed who said he had hoped we had all left on the run!!! The run was a well marked (after the initial part) walk/run around the streets of Earlville. On our return Missing Link, one of four visitors for the night (who we didn’t manage to lose as they were not American) gave a run report in the form of the S-H-I-T-T-Y R-U-N song and awarded it a score of 2.5!! Nogat was asked to give a “down down” for the Hare, after many Why are we Waiting!! Bumper managed to get her beer down only to be told to GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN! in the form of a ditty by Molé. Our illustrious GM charged Weed for giving her a hat which had given her “Hat Hair” – unforgivable. Molé announced the Cairns Harriette’s run on Wednesday 24 September and also the Harriette’s lunch on Sunday 28 September at Kanis on the Esplanade.
GM announced the FNQH AGM will be held on Thursday 25 September at the Cape York Hotel. This will be followed by a General Meeting.
Christmas Party – Who? Why? What? Where? – think about what we want to do and give all ideas to the GM as soon as you think of them!!!
Junior Mattress introduced our four visitors, Missing Link, Helmet, CBD and Caroline. Returnee was Please Explain and because he can not drink alone he was joined by Nogat who had been away “for ever” until his return last week!! Anniversaries: Screwer - 260 runs. Bumper Stikher - 30 runs. Wait – a – while - 460 runs.
Charges from the run followed with Hemet & Caroline charged for PDA, Weed charged Molé for interrupting him when he was trying to charge “someone,” Bumper Stikher charged the absent Copper for having possession of an inadequate Hash Marker, Twisted Sister was picked as Chopper’s look-alike!! Molé charged Bumper Stikher for no drink stop when she had said there was one!!! Tanks was charged for coming to Hash “all dressed up” Double Donger was awarded to SuperStork for having the nerve to chat up two different females on the run. The lard went to Pull Thru because he needs the extra weight more than any of us!! SOS awarded Beeps another appendage because he had seen the DS sign and failed to stop!!! The P…. of the Week award went to Beeps for “abandoning hash clothing” at Weed’s place last week. Raffle was won by Twisted Sister & Caroline.
On – On MOFL

Run 1664 Weed

Weed’s wandering bush trail
Betty Boop made it clear that Hash waits for no one!!!!! And she dutifully introduced the hairy hare Weed. Betty Boop also made it clear that she needed assistance with the notes as she cannot think and write at the same time??????? Say no more!!!!!! Twisted gave the run spiel and she reported a distinct lack of snakes much to everyone’s disappointment????? Hence he was awarded a mere 4 out of 10. A second run report was given by Pro. It was very long. Mole assisted with the navigation and they actually found the drink stop this week. Well-done guys. Despite this a _4 was attained. Superstalk added congratulations to Weed for arranging the hillsides to be burned off for us. Weed then proceeded to take forever and ever to drink his hare beer. Betty Boop announced that we might have a Xmas run in combination with Trinity Hash. This was applauded by all as a means of GALVANISING?????? with Trinity Hash. How could we stoop so low!!!!!!!!!
Several places were suggested and the favoured choice was the brothel. Funny that! The Harriett’s champagne lunch is no longer at the Casino due to restaurant closure. At least that is what they said. They were actually scared of us!!!!! AGM provisionally at the Brewery i.e. Nash Hash AGM Saturday 27th in the morning ????
Returnees were Bumper Sticker, Spread’m and That Much and a special welcome back to Nogat who has returned from a long trip overseas. Tutti celebrated a 370th run and ended up with most of her beer on her hair.
Charges were aimed at Twisted for being a media tart along with Woops. Bumper Sticker was charged due to the colour of her eyes. And SOS for running late. Everyone was charged for failing the intelligence test of finding the end of Moore Rd. Wait a While was charged for loosing his mobile phone on the way to hash.
Tackle passed his limp dick onto someone else and Non de Plume was charged for not wearing hash gear and going to the amateurs dressed up but not in hash gear. Pro joined in as someone said he had a great beard.
Raffles went to Mole and the usual argument/discussion ensued regarding red or white wine. Meanwhile Tackle donated a special prize of a Casey Chambers cap signed by the star herself. Tutti completed the evening by bravely telling a joke. Oh and nosh was great!!. Chef Weed cooked a very impressive chicken stir-fry, cooked no less to order. This was ENHANCED???? By Pendingas chilli sauce, which was, shall we say memorable. Great taste or rather more of a pain sensation!!!! On on Bumper Sticker

080908 Not Yet
Notes………. What notes?

010908 Tackle

Notes………. What notes?

Run 1661
250808 Nom Dr Plume

Supa Stalk and S.O.S. forgotten fishing spot bronze medal run
A moderate pack gathers at Chez Stalk’s abode on a coolish evening. The pack were sent on their way by Mr Stalk closely followed by spawn of Stalk who gave nothing away about where the trail went or anything else for that matter. Poe faced he remained but stuck with the pack he did. The runners went one direction and the walkers the other. Down through the streets of Stratford the walkers wended and along train tracks and scrub. Where the runners went only the runners ca say. The walking pack found their way to a forgotten fishing spot (well forgotten by Corey anyway). Magnificent views of the Barron River were enjoyed as we supped on out drink stop. Back through the streets of dark Stratford the walkers trudged. Still, the runners were not seen, but Mole` assures scribe they were there. Corey awarded the walkers run 4/10. returning runner McTAff awarded the runners run 2/10 because 4/5ths of the pack nicked off and left him to blunder about in the dark, which left him no choice but to end up window shopping at Zabu Furniture shop (without Boopy). Charges to Corey for pretending to run to impress the Hash. No Knickas for the really lame Hash Ball report. Maid Marion kept her company because no Harriette should drink alone. Betty Boop for trying to hide the fact that she had not drunk out of her now not so new red shoes. McTaff for gaining his nautical certificate and promptly getting lost on the run. Weed for being Weed. Double Donger to SOS because he is a Wait a While lal eve though he is younger, taller, leaner runs 3 times more than WAW and has more hair. Raffle to Crunchie rack and weed Returnees Mctaff, Nom de Plume
ON On Betty Boop

Run 1660
180808 That Mu

The other week the Lard of the week award surfaced from some deep dark depths of hashdom. The inaugural award was presented by Tackle to Corey for consistently being the youngest hasher and consistently sitting down each week.

Run 1659

Supa’s supercilious stroll circling Stratford

Hash came, hash went and hash conquered – Straford that is – no other notes this week but a great run. Lots of great food from Supa stalk ‘s better half. Returnees, charges and other things happened

Run 1658

Coin Slot’s Communal Run
Despite the absence of the hare and the host for a while (TRUE WAIT –A -WHILE STYLE), everything went very well due to a true team effort which culminated in an evening to be remembered.
Super ‘s run report complemented the exceedingly well-marked trail. Unfortunately we lost the virgins after 5 minutes and he was disappointed that the drain was not full of water. The drink stop was good and even seating on 2 luxurious lounge suites was provided. Coin slot ended up with a mere 2 as some arrows faced in the wrong direction. She should have organised the boys better. Anyway Supers report, which went on and on eventually ended and Twisted gave the walkers report. Much briefer thank god! It was round there ,up there and felt like 2 hours because it was boring. This was actually a ploy by the so-called team who did not budge from home- base so they could cook for longer. Yeah sure! Drink more, more like!! Wait-a –While apologised for the flat nature of his suburb! Coin slot got a 3 as she always does great nosh. Which later proved to be the case.
Chopper who eventually owned up to being the substitute hare, accepted all the positive prays but none of the negative.!!
Virgins were Hectar, Susan and Rika.
Returnees come visitors were Lovelace and Deep Throat. Also returning were Stubby and Screwer.
Mole announced operation uplift something to do with Hariettes taking off their bras for charity???? Tackle offered to donate his jocks but no one took him on.
The Hash ball is ON ON see you there 7pm sat bring a plate.
Twisted charged Pro for charging out of sequence or was it the other way round. Either way Pro did return the double donger. After what he called much cogitating??? He decide to give it to Crunchy as he looked really cute and sexy in her boots however he changed his mind and gave it to Wait- a-While for working during hash. Wait- a -While will no doubt return this prestigious award safe and sound after having the honour of receiving it! That means he has to turn up next week!
Mofl got the nosh of the month and ended up keeping the outfit at home much to her disappointment.
Two Tit Fruitti charged Cori for running and showing off. Chopper, Twisted and Mole had mobile phone issues and I am not sure who ended up charging whom.
Betty Boop belatedly charged Tackle for not looking after his equipment (cooking!). Tanks tried to charge Super for his appearance on the front page of the Cairns Post but this had to reversed, as really there was very little resemblance.
Chopper muttered something about keys and swapping and of course was charged for not properly explaining the philosophy of hash to his friend.
Pro and Knee Trembler won the raffles
Stubby entertained us with a few jokes. Well-done Stubby!!!!!

Some extra info from Bumper!!
It has come to my attention that there are always more runners than walkers and that some hashers ARE NOT EVEN WALKING AT ALL!!
Does everyone realise the goals of hash? Do you know that if you expend 40,000 kilojoules of energy you will loose 1KG of body fat! That is a lot of fat.
To put this into hash perspective 9 hours of running is required to loose 1 KG of body fat.
Walking 22 hours
Sitting 80 hours
Foreplay with a hasher 378 KJ /hour -so too much to calculate/endure
Sexual activity with a hasher 1154 KJ/hour-data irrelevant due to difficulty with definition of activity.
So in short revise the hash goals if you wish to keep off those kilos.
On On Bumper

Run no. 1658 or something!

Maid Marion made it to hash.
Well Betty Boop actually showed up this week and made some feeble excuse blaming her abs cense on some sort of amnesia.
Superstalk gave an interesting run report. He enjoyed the croc-infested swamp, the high tide and the lack of moon. As the run was well mapped he gave Maid Marion a whopping 9/10 but later reduced this to a 2 as no one was taken by a croc!
Two Tit Fruitti gave the walkers report which she felt was rather long especially as she had a stone in her shoe most of the way. However she claimed the walk was very enjoyable.
We welcomed the Korean visitors Linda, Min and Beau as virgins.
Returnees were Crunchy. Betty Boop, Big Basil, Sodonme and Tanks.
An anniversary went to No Knickers for her 560th run.
The main announcements were pertaining to the ball, which is still under subscribed. Pro reminded everyone about the little Mulgrave hash and Mole suggested that hashers took part in the cancer crusade.
Superstalk referred everyone to an interesting article on hash in China out of the latest Time Magazine.
Knee Trembler asked for hashers to volunteer as hares for the national hash next year. 2 hares per run are needed.
Weed charged Tackle for having germ phobia as his hash booz mugs were too clean!
Weed had a busy night as he also charged Betty Boop for being away for 2 weeks and Mofl and Pullthrough for something else.
Prick of the week should have gone to Knee Trembler for forgetting Twisted,s cider but he is not yet forgiven for loosing the last one so it went to Sodonme as his dog was not under control.
The double donger went to pro to ensure that he came back next week.
There were lots of raffle prizes thanks to Betty Boop. The lucky recipients were dead ringer, Tackle, Tanks, Weed and Far Canal.
We all tucked into a warming barbecue!
On on Bumper

Run 1656

Mofl, s meandering maze
Once again the walkers outnumbered the runners. Chopper’s critical assessment of the run awarded a 3/10 due to the lack of markings, which he reconned, should be 400 metres apart. Both the hare and assistant hare were coerced into drinking copious amounts of orange and chardonnay for their sins.
Weeds walkers report was much more gentle. Quite pleasant with an easy trail as everyone simply followed the assistant hare. Good on you Cory!
Weed then proceeded to make some very confusing announcements, which we eventually were able to translate as –
On august 3rd at 4pm there will be a Cancer Crusade run of 3-5km at a cost of $ per person. He also advised us of a motorbike ride on Sunday with the Cancer Council ‘from somewhere to somewhere else’????
All were urged to book and pay deposits for the hash ball, which is currently looking a bit, thin on numbers.
Visitors /virgins were Louis and Dan from Kiwiland and returnees were Xrated, Chopper, Handbrake, That Much and Carnt.
Anniversaries –
Xrated 20
Chopper 130
Carnt 50
Happy birthday to Carnt for last Monday
Raffles were won by Superstalk and Two Tit Fruitti.
Charges from Twisted went to Weed for J-walking which he instantly reversed as New Zealanders follow like sheep and X rated followed him half way as she is from Yorkshire. Not Yet charged the assistant hare for not using waterproof chalk and Weed charged him for not wearing the lovely orange garment on the run.
The highlight of the evening was the look on Twisted,s face when she was awarded the brand new toy. Hell of a toy!!!!! Well-done Tackle!
Tasty nosh thanks Mofl
On on bumper sticker

Run 1655

Pros remote run
No Nogat, no Mole, no Tutti, no Tanks, no virgins and no visitors but 9 were there and a good time was had by all.
Well it was a bit of a hike to get there but we all enjoyed our walk/run and especially sitting around the fire munching a sausage sizzle.
Knee Trembler reported that he enjoyed his run, be it alone, even although he had to miss tracking.
Returnees were Bumper Sticker, Far Canal and Cory.
Pro was charged for having false trails through cane paddocks and Twisted charged Tackle for being late.
Pro charged Twisted for patting a dog on the head in the pub and scarring the poor beast away.
Charges were a bit scarce as we ran out of people to charge. Everyone wished Tackle a happy 66th birthday for tomorrow.
Mofl got the low profile award.
Cory wore the nosh of the month attire on behalf of Mole and he is looking forward to dressing the jacket up for next week.
Everyone commented on the distinct lack of hash apparel and Tackle took it on board to purchase some new tasteful????? items.
On on Bumper Sticker

Run 1654

CHHH Committee excels themselves on a fantastic run of the year run.
Chef tackle serves the best nosh. ………
Hare Knee Trembler sets the best run (and then pisses off)…………….
Gm and JJM betty Boop and crunchie Crack run a blistering circle……………..
And World peace was achieved, although briefly, if just in Edge Hill for 1 hour…………….

Obviously not real notes this week. If you want real notes then someone has to do them and email them to this before the weekend otherwise you will get these sort of notes.
Had some visitors and returnees and lots of charges but I have no idea who they were.

Great photos though!!!

Don’t’ forget the coming events

Run 1653

No Gat desperately needs more trial
These notes are only very brief because I was quite busy at the run last night - not only did I have to collect run monies, collect money for the Ball, pay Innot Hot Springs debts, cash to Tackle for ice, rite the raffle tickets, but most of all had to chat to lots of people (very important), and then had to take a down-down for having done loads of runs....................I don't know, a harriette has to very versatile!
Run 1654 - Tanx at Trinity Links Resort, Woree 30th June 2008
Visitors: Bushbasher, Nunny, Fakaree - all from Bribie Island Returnees: Stubby, Bumper Sticker
Anniversaries: Twisted Sista, Tutti Frutti Charges: Tanks for an inaccessible run ? Nogat for something ? Manu Manu for not checking trail. Bumper Sticker for wearing posh hash gear. Reverse charge on Twisted Sista from Manu Manu because he had left his lights on, No Knickers stand-in for Super Stork for getting a lift. Bodsa/McCavity for being Americans that had actually returned from a reef trip. Awards: Still no POW shorts (supposed to be presented back to pack from Mr Spock, I believe). Double donger not present. Floppy little prick awarded by Twisted Sista to (I think) Manu Manu. Hey, I was busy chatting!!!! Important Note: Money for Ball - we must have 30 people having paid their $10.00 by 29th July, 2008, so that we can obtain the venue. If we achieve the required 30 regos, the cost after the 29th will be $15.00.
ON ON Tutti Frutti

Run 1652
230608 Spreadem
Spread’em place: 33 Gilmore Street Bentley Park
Spread’em shortest run….
A pack of 28 gathered on a cool winters evening at Spread’em abode.
It was really a recovery run from Innot Hot Springs weekend away for those who attended and played up badly.
Pull Through gave the run report as being very very short, at the drink stop before you knew it and didn’t even get a sweat up going home. He scored it a -2 out of 10 for the walkers report. The runners report by Mr Beep was more generous with a 9. He thought it was a good run but very disappointed. Overall 7/10.
Hash Ball money by 9th August for $10 ahead up to a week prior then it will be $15 ahead.
Visitors: Bozda and McCavity from USA and Piethagra? from Townville.
Return runners: Cory and Animal.
Virgin: Daniel
Daniel was also a stand in look alike for xrated that has done 20 runs.
A big thank you went out to Betty Boop, Crunchy, Mole and Tackle for all the time and work they put in for Innot Hot Springs. Week done guys, I wish I would of made it to dinner.
Charges: Weed bringing an unpaid guest in his jogger being a cane toad and Koty for not helping More Beer to pay for the weekend. Spread’em for a short run.
Charges for Innot Hot Springs: Wait a while not attending but having an ambo on hand from his last accident in the shower 5 years ago.
Animal having the wrong date for the weekend off work to come to the Springs. Last time he looked at the net was 3 months ago. Twisted Sister needing saving from being roasted on the fire. Lucky Doctor Bozda was on hand. Kotex drinking to much bubbly and in bed by 8pm. Can’t release gas near the fire. Tackle for taking More Beer under is wing and leading him astray at the pub. Weed sneeking off for an afternoon siesta before the run. Betty Boop leaving her bra at the pub signed on the bull horns above the bar.
Twisted Sister leaving dints in the ground from falling over. No de Plum also helping her change into her pjs. Weed was the stand in look alike and for the chuck she had on the run.
The double donger went to Pull Through for keeping a low profile.
The Prick to Twisted Sister for advertising her has name on a product in the sex shop.
Birthday drink for Tutti Fruity for trying to hide the fact she had a birthday.

Raffles won by Twisted Sister and Moofle Moofle?
1650 tee shirts for sale $16.50ea.

On On Koty

Run 1651
160608 Mole`

Only the Best
Would have to be one of the best runs EVER.
The trail markings where textbook, an example on how a trail should be laid.
A magical mix of shiggie and road.
Proportional superb combination of beach and hills.
Not too long but long enough for the runner to stretch out and the walker to have a good chat.
A stoically deserved 9 out of 10

And on top of all this “A Naming”, arise S(pawn ) O(f) S(upa)

On-On Spouse of Mole`

Run 1650
220608 Yet to happen

Let’s just say, what happens away, stays away
If you went you know, if not, you missed a very good camping weekend, torn jeans and all

060608 Queen Kotex Shines on the Queens birthday
Run 165 something?

Sad to say that Betty Boops little green lantern has died and she had to resort to her whistle. Distracted by this she
committed her first crime of the evening by calling resident note taker Bumper Stikher by her real name.
Kotex was lucky enough to have acquired a plethora of assistant hares, pseudohares and some unmentionable
Runners report was by Jose (Mrs Pullthrough). The grass was too long and she was disappointed because
Pullthrough didn’t take her for a roll in the grass.
Walkers report by Not Yet also mentioned the rain and wet grass and more to the point no drink stop. Some feeble
excuse about vehicles being unable to access the drink stop. Initially going to be awarded 9/10 this dropped back to
a 4 because of this.
Meanwhile Mole scurried around taking photos with 2 cameras.
Announcements-Numbers needed for Innot
Hash ball Germania Club $10, bring a plate and grog. (Premises also licensed!)
Virgins-Welcome to Shoe the hares Japanese student.
Returnees Weed, Mole, not yet
Anniversaries –Superstalk-127
Charges for the run-
Kotex charged Maid Marian for not accepting her offer of a lift to catch up.
Weed charged Betty Boop for calling Bumper by her real name.
Bumper was charged much to Weeds amusement for incorrectly naming the hare as Fuck It which could have
caused a lot of confusion as he lives at the other side of town.
Non de Plume was Basils Thrushes look alike and was charged for something to do with him being foreign
correspondent and getting no up to date correspondence. How dare Mole and Weed go off on holiday!
McTaff was charged as he was caught on his mobile.
Betty Boop charged McTaff for trying to start his own song and Twisted agreed that that was very annoying!!!
Betty Boop (yes she had a busy night) charged Kotex for not being able to find a drink stop despite having 3 hares.
Two Tit Fruitti charged Nogat for trying to be funny and telling lies.
McTaff made one of his observations and tried unsuccessfully to defend Kotex.
Knee Trembler apologised for his virgins from last week throwing prick of the week into the garbage and was
dutifully charged for losing sacred hash property. One of the little ladies was found going through the garbage looking
for it but neglected to realise that the garbage had been collected 2 days previously.
Great nosh with sweet and sour beef and even cake.

On on Bumper Stikher

Run 1648
020608 Knee Trembler

Hare Raiser Knee Trembler rises to the occasion- Run number 1650?51?
Layed Back’s assessment of the run awarded a whopping 5 out of 10. mainly because he ran out of chalk.
I guess the benchmark for Trinity Hashers is lower than ours. However knee trembler did cop a charge for
letting the hashmen down as he didn’t lie and of course he should know that is his duty!
The walkers report reiterated this with everyone impressed with the hills.
The circle was huge with 4 lovely oriental visitors Kaori, Ava, Gina and Yena who graced us with their presence.
Virgin-Murray (Tanxs sound-a-like)
Returnees-Bouncer, Spock, Hand Maiden, Bevan, X-rayted and Pendinga
Two Tit Frutti reminded everyone to pay up for the 1650 Innot Hot Springs as confirmation of numbers needed for nosh.
The Hash ball on 9th August will go ahead if over 30 hashers and friends enlist so deposits please ASAP.
Charges came from Pro for;
the lack of calling
everyone following Superstalk
ignoring signs on Mulgrave Rd
Layed Back was charged, as his short cutting had become an art form!
Layed Back charged Pro for not checking the trail and calling him back. Twisted and Pendinga charged
each other for something to do with trails and Betty Boop caught Spock and Bouncer being affectionate! Love is in the air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charges for the Sunday run went to 2 harrietes Twisted and Nom de Plume for leaving personal effects behind.
Tackle was accused of being a bit slow tonight. Whats new!
Far Canal got the double donger for losing the box and handmaiden reported that it worked better without the box.
Bumper got the nosh of the month. Nice hat ,shame about the orange tent!!
Raffles went to Tanxs and Tackle
Next week at Fuck It 21 Monsoon Terrace, Forest gardens
Trinity at 16 Holly St, Mooroobool (Slappers)
Thanks to Wait-a -While and Nogat for the jokes
On On Bumper

260508 Bumper Stikhe

Run 1646
190508 Crunchie Crack

Run 1645
120508 Tackle
7pm Betty Boop - Club {residern blows the whistle!!! The Hash discussions have begun for the night.
A mention was made that the run was being set as we arrived. It was noted that it was a piss poor effort however Spock and Tackle tried
hard to run in front of us all and so we all walked behind - runners and walkers together. The walk itself was a good length however!!
Next mention was from the discraced Tackle himself asking for help with the trailer as it is requiring maintenance!! He is going to set a
date for this maintenance weekend at the next Hash meet.
Visitors and virgins were welcomed. Our virgins John and Sue in the process of settling in Cairns from Victoria were introduced to our mad
hashers by the disgraced Spreadem (more about that later!)
Returnees were Big Bazza, Nomde plume, Simone, x rated, Mofel, Tool Box, Manu manu and Chopper!
Celebrations!! Harriettes!!
Nomde Plume has celebrated her 100th run this run!!
Maid Marian happy birthday for 2 weeks ago!!
5th annaugrual run at the Mountain View Hotel for Edmonton Hashers!
Scout camp weekend after nex at Lake Tinaroo. Tent or Buckhouse accommodation.
Inoch Hotel Hotsprings on 21st June, Meet n greet at hotel on Friday Night, see Tackle and Pussy Bob.
9th August - BYO Night Hash Ball - place to be fixed.
Spreadem is the worst hasher of all time for not being there last week to set the run - she was at work and there was a misunderstanding
of the dates!! - or so she says!!!! Tanks and Betty Boop saved the day with an amazing last minute run set and the best pizzas ever!!
Yay for the president!!
Moonshine, for noticing a couple of spunky muscle bound non hashers walking the opposite direction to the hashers and turning around
and following therm!!
Virgin John for talking on the phone during the run - Spreadem had to drink for him as he said he did'nt know the rules!!
Nomede plume for playing during a hash run!!
Tool box for running with the flu in a big jacket at the front.
Visitor John for looking too comfortable!
Not yet for sneaking off for a piddle half way through the run!
Bumper sticker for the low profile award.
Spreadem and Bumper sticker!!
Double Donger!
A mention is made that it is well protected with a plastic coating. It is presentedb Not Yet to the cunning buggar Spock. Knee trimbler
who goe track running on a Monday night but shows up for the party later!!

The Prick goes back to bouncer because she didn't bring it!!

Big Bazza stands in for tackle because Tackle has to get the shorts organised for next week!!
The circle is over for this exciting week!!

Run 1644
050508 Spreadem


Well what a memorable night!! What to do, where to go, how to get there. But being the resourceful people that hashers are, it all worked out rather well. Tanx supplied the
map and the informers to tell them where to go (to the Far Kue). So.....amid much where, how and many mobile phone calls to the new abode and venue for the run, the
pack eventually left 3 Capricorn st (even the lost travellers made it to the venue, deep in the depths of Silkwood Ridge, Sugarworld Central, Isabella Pocket.)
Upon the return Georgina was so impressed with the trail, even the hill at the end, that she remained impressed all evening. Ringy gave the runners report 1.75. That Much
gave walkers report. A score of -1.75.
Returnees: B.T, Nook & Cranny, Ringpicker. The return of our visitor Psycho via Yorkshire via Port Moresby.
No virgins or birthdays.
Awards: P.O.W was taken off Spock's fridge by crunchy. Spock awarded it back to Bouncer, cos he likes it on his fridge.
Anniversaries: That Much has achieved 40 runs.
Run of the month: hot contest between Carn't, W.A.W, Chopper and Farcanal. winner was Sargent-at-arms Carn't.
Raffle: Ringy (twice!). What a gentleman ringy is, he gallantly put one back and Bouncer promptly won. Two special prizes, B.T won a special Hash dress wonderfully
modelled by Betty and PussyBob won alovely stylish sweat shirt (lucky man).
Charges: Twisted to Bumper stikher for looking too delectable. Ringy charged newby Cory for being too athletic. PullThru went out for being a Weed look-alike (as her
always gets charged and isn't here). A hymn was sung for Spread 'Em (and tanx) for working instead of organizing more important matters, like setting a hash run.
On On til next time Twisted Sister.

Run 1643
280408 Farcanel Freshwater swiming Hole

Some of the pack still have no idea where the trail went and that was from the pack that went on the run. There was a creek and some hashers gor rather wet. Some
didn't. Some couldn't find and creek or trail. Some just couldn't see any trail at all. I know I couldnt. Except when Farcanal sat on the ice. Everything, everytime. The
pack's eyes collectively winced and some even shed tears when the hare took his down-downs sitting on the ice.
Virgins: Cory and Georgina
Visitors: Moffle from Calgoolie, although she has lived in Cairns for 5 years.
Returnees: Simone (Nommy's sister from Switzerland)
Awards: Double donger went to Farcanal, for being himself. No other bits and pieces this week.
Charges: plenty of these, mostly directed at Farcanal, although Crunchy, Boopy and Not Yet got a look in too.

On on bettyboop xxxxx

Run 1642

Illustrious mistress Bopy recieved floods of calls "we'e at choppas house, where is he?" "fear not....he's out setting trail". Cripes!!!! must have been SOME trail. Choppa is known to set trail like Pennys'- lenghty, lenghty...and that's for the walkers. A huge pack tonight helped by the appearance of choppas very fit co workers. "i had a strategic plan" announced Choppa, "however when i got the phonecall, that's that. when you run out of trail turn around and come home". Mystery revealed....Choppa is now GRAMPS, courtsey of a little granddaughter, just 1 hour old. On a hash night too!! couldn't be planned better and on a more auspicoius day of the week.
To the trail: it went here and it went there and the runners went here and there some more and apparently it just kept going and going....and going...until it stopped. Even then runners came back well after midnight. er'....7:30. Barely time to be served by lovely young serving wenches with some full moons of their own (according to pro). Supa always finds a charge, cant remember who for, except mostly choppa. i know there were plenty of other charges. especially for our visitors and virgins of the camoflage persuasion. A heinous deed commited by choppa for attempting to electrocute the G.M.( with a joke lighter), the nerve!! All was forgiven by the end of the evening as top nosh was served( thanks tackle for help).Johnny Walker for helping to wet the baby's head ( thanks to nogat for minding Johnny) Thanks to the lovely young things for tolerating the reprobates.
No girlie shorts: New one sfor next week. No Double donger:in hand maidens safe keeping. No Linp dick or P.O.W penny still enjoyingh those.
RAFFLES: no gat and no gat
Thank you choppa for another great night
ON ON xxx Boopy and Crunchie

Run 1641

The Run Started out, turned right, over rail tracks, over little
bridge, into Jungle cane. On On, more jungle cane, pack starting to
spread out, walkers, faster walkers, runners, an open field, ie cut
jungle cane, then back into uncut jungle cane, round and round jungle
cane. Out of jungle cane to drink stop. dark by now, luckily there was a
road, so on home, still a long way. A longish run, hashers were heard to
say over a hard earned thirst, you can get it walking, you can get it
running, you can get it hashing, I've got it now.
Hares Adam, Josh, Chase, (Pendinga?)
Returnees Adam, Pro
Visitors Toolbox and Manu Manu from Fiji
Anniversarys Weed, Tackle, Coin Slot, Superstork, Twotit Fruity,
Crunchy Crack
Charges Pro for wet crutches, Josh for not finishing run
NO double donga, girly shorts
Limp dick That Much gave to Pendinga
Run report by Manu Manu, someone said he doesnt know better

Run 1640

Carnt’s parkridge Paradise
No notes this week, only mug shots but a good time was had by all
Visitors, Returnees , no virgins (sorry Hand maiden), charges, raffles, double donger, run of the month hat and good nosh

Run 1639

Wait-a-while & Coin Slot #1641
Blessed with the presence of our patron, Sir Meatballs of Edge hill a good pack of 25 gathered at WAW’s where returning runners were served an entrée suspected to be missing from a recently cleaned takeaway shop. Sister Spread’ em gave a stretched runners report of nature themes. Strange locals, dogs, budgies, and toilet frogs. A very excited 5/10 score given. Tackle gave walker’s report. A very slow drink stop, delivering junk mail. -8 gave a final score of -3/10. Magnum gave a Yorkshire down-down song.
Interhash report: complained of the food & or the band & runs, no sweets and lots of fireworks. (apparently lady hashers had their own nosh- which was magnificent).
VISITORS: Magnum and Twilight from Yorkshire H3.
RETURNEES: Spread ‘em, Deadringer, Stubby, Dorothy, X-rated, Do-do.
ANNIVERSARIES: Boopy-351, Deadringer-45, That Much-35, Meatballs-1175, Knee trembler-370.
CHARGES: Penny for horning Twisted sister and X-rated (double donger award). WAW for false drink stops, Big Baz for misleading the pack, to the false drinkstop. LATE CHARGES: BBoop for missing the bus @ interhash, Pendinga for doubling his own ball breaker. Mole for interrupting Weed’s topless adventure. Our RA Pendinga then held a very solemn, sacred naming ceremony for Dorothy- from now on she will be known as Sister Bumper Stikher, and awarded a Yorkshire H3 shirt from magnum.
MORE CHARGES; Weed and Mole for successfully prostituting Cairns Nash Hash @ interhash. RAFFLE; Knee Trembler, Weed, Bettyboop. Girly shorts: Spock (still), Double donger: Handmaiden(still).POW: Spock’s recently sold car (surprise new owners!!) Nosh was lovely corned beef. Rissoles in gravy followed by ice-cream in a cone. (A very clean Takeaway/ tuckshop somewhere)
On On Sod On Me

Run 1638

Sodonme's walkers fail the intelligence test.
It was Easter Monday which is no excuse but for some reason the walkers ended up doing the runners trail. Someone failed to differentiate between left and right and everyone missed the drink stop . Crunchy
Crack wore Easter bunny ears which everyone dutifully followed as they protruded above the bushes. Tanks gave the run a one and half due to good scenery and clear marking.
Knee Trembler gave a note for the hare as he was the only one at the drink stop. An interesting drink stop too, lollies macerated in a potent ginger concoction.
Only one visitor this week, Bobby and returnees were Councillor OOPs, Carnt, That Much and Vacant Patch. Anniversaries went to Crunchy Crack 27 runs, Twisted Sister 306 and Bouncer 436.
Nogat was charged for leading the walkers onto the runners track and Spock went back 8 years and charged OOps for something to do with money. Twisted Sister was charged for calling Non de plume 3 times by
her real name . Twisted Sister was joined by the hare for planning a drink stop up hill in the dark.
Raffle won by Dorothy and Crunchy
Everyone tucked into sweet and sour chicken and enjoyed the belated drink stop.
On On Dorothy (E and OA)

Run 1637

A good size pack gathered pack at Tanx house for the very last run from his address. No rain made a lovely change on a Monday night. Tackle gave a runner’s report, “its set on pink chalk, lack of trail, .5/10. Dead Ringer gave a walker’s report “Invisible chalk, where was the earlier mentioned water trap?” -5/10. Final score -4.5/10
Announcements: 23rd/24th May- Trinity 1500th from Barrabadeen camp ground at Tinaroo. See Boopy for more details. Still having hash ball at Germania club. $10 maybe. BYO. But need to set a date on a Saturday night. Innot Hot Springs still going ahead. 28th/29th June?? Or possibly later in August. Certificate of appreciation given to the hash for contribution and donations collected for the Salvation Army on the Red Dress Run. The final amount was $805.
No visitors, no virgins. Returnees: Dead Ringer, Mctaf, Fungus, and Moaning (interhash visitors). Anniversaries- Big Bazza 450 runs. Knee Trembler 370 runs. Twisted 300 runs. Congratulations to Oops for being voted into local city council. Think of the perks and privileges the hash will get from that! Cheers to councillor Oops. Look alike Moaning took the down down. Prostitute gave us all the run report from the inaugural Little Mulgrave hash run. “The rain held off just for us for the length of the run. 3 from CH3, 2 from Innisfail, and 6 locals from the area. A good size pack for the first run. The second run will take place on the 6th April, from Mountain View hotel. Runs to take place on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of every month. Pro took a drink on their behalf.
CHARGES: Mctaf as stand in Sgt at arms. Tanx was charged for sparing use of pink chalk. Pro charged Nommy, for being assaulted with a stick. Calls for Nommy to be banned from ever using/having sticks). Super charged No Gat for being Tanx partner in crime. Super was charged with losing his son Bevan. No P.O.W, no shorts and no donger. Raffles went to Prostitute and Dead Ringer
On On Mctaf (E & OA)

Run 1636

Spocks runners out number walkers
Well this was a run with a difference with runners out numbering walkers. The walkers retaliated with an abundance of charges laid against runners. It was great to see lots of visitors, 8 in total, passing through on the way to interhash 2008.Visitors included; Marmite, Termite, Fungal angas, Morning fucker, Jak tar, Clueless, Slurry
and little Dicky. Returnees included Chase, Josh, Screwer, Tanie and Prick Doctor
Marmite and Termite gave great runners and walkers reports with Spock achieving a whopping double 6.
Twisted charged GM for wearing new red shoes and Weed charged Clueless for living up to her name. Mole charged Josh for being competitive on the way home but more importantly for being young, fit and virile. The GM was again charged for having too many runners. Clueless charged Nogat for complaining that there were too many women on the run and bouncer was charged for being beaten to the drink stop. Pendinga saved the day by finding Betty Boop’s gold chain. The GM complained about being charged. She reckoned she had some sort of exemption yeh sure! Basil Thrush (foreign correspondent) was missed, as we have had no jokes since he left for Vietnam.
Handmaiden stayed away tonight as she wanted to keep the double donger and the shorts are still missing in action! Mole and Dorothy won the raffle.Weather permitting inaugural Little Mulgrave HHH will meet 3.30 for 4 at the Little Mulgrave.
On On Dorothy (E & OA)

Run 1635

The Mother of all Mondays, March madness, call it what you will, we were there in full force with flippers flapping and snorkels at the ready. Twisted Sister's run began with a greeting at the side gate of a foot mud bath far better than any day spa could provide and much less expensive. After donning rain coats, caps, galloshers, welly boots and some wimps carrying umbrella's we marched off in abominable conditions. The turn out complete with UK visitors was excellent. A mud map was given to those not needing glasses and we set off firstly beside a well flowing creek stomping through the overgrowth, ducking beneath tree branches and looking out gingerly for the odd croc that could appear at any time. Not to be left out in the cold a pooch either called Sodonme or the owner of it called the same name decided to have a death wish (the dog I mean) and swam down stream before wading out with webbed feet and a wagging tail. Disorientated runners, but mainly the walkers never arrived at the drink stop, some are still trying to find the waterhole, better luck next time and those that did never sent out a fog horn or whistle to alert the less fortunate. Our visitor Shirtlifter dared to mention humidity, a bridge and pikers and to go straight on was not on as we found out. Mentioning no names as to who needed a pee on the way making a weed grow rapidly (no, not you Weed) was all the excitement anyone could wish for. Shirtlifter could only manage a score of 3 for the run - boo hoo and That Much said it was worth a 2. Consequently the down downs followed with Twisted Sister organising a crap run but putting on a good nosh of heart warming lasagne, breads and salads with second helpings for the undernourished and anorexics - not many of those. Apologies from Crunchy Crack for non attendance and a warm welcome, albeit wet one to Shirtlifter and MSB, whose name was mistaken for PMT but of course it was that time of the month. Trinity Hash - Rubber Laytback, Cum Again, Recycled Virgin, all mixed up, who's who then followed by a down down to "Singing in the Rain". Our trustee returnees were Coin Slot, Dorothy and That Much and Knee Trembler burst into song with True Blue, Piss Pot etc. for those who knew the words, the others just hummed in more ways than one. No anniversaries this week. Mole` gave a report of the Red Dress Run sadly missed by certain members who we shall not mention. A good time was had. The money rolled in and Olga - don't know where the blow up doll went, oh and money, yes the all important dosh into 12 tins collected approximately $805 fro the Salvation Army Red Shield appeal. Yippee, a splendid effort to be proud of. "Why was she born so beautiful" followed but was that for Olga ! Hand Maiden must have had a hard day she forgot the double donger so pleasure prevails for another week. No raffle this week, everyone too skint to buy tickets with recent interest rate rise. Announcement of something at German Club and Innot Hot Springs. Brother LayBack & Cock n Bull and nosh $25 Tuesday 4/3/08. Sergeant 'Carn't' halted drinking and talking with his input of usual waffle. Charges went re drink stop and all losing direction due to Mole` not waiting for the pack. The obnoxious smell was not lack of deodorant but poor old pooch that seemed to be blamed for all wrong doings and doggy doings and droppings. Oh yes, and Tanx not let off the hook for mentioning something about 'titty girls'. Super Stalk gave some stick about a dog with a stick and 10 points to Farcanal for throwing the stick. The mere mention of sticks really made it stick in everyone’s mind, guilty as usual - Tanx, Farcanal, Nogat, Laid Back. Weed needed someone to join him out front for down down so That Much was stunt double being same height but not much else. Low profile charges went to Spread em and Wait a While for their low profile or being off form for a manic Monday. Super Stalk gave song but a weak effort as not very impressive, followed by a hush hush. Yes, and there’s more. Awards went to Spock - Prick of the Week for forgetting girlie shorts and Hand Maiden forgot Double Donger, how could she. Run of the month went to Hand Maiden, hoorah for scoring a 3 at her place. Thank you Twisted Sister. Moving on, next meet at Southernden Drive, City View If you are game, see Non de Plume or Betty Boop re Innot Hot Springs.
On On X-rayted

Run 1634

Tackle, s great run was marked in chalk and was a varied route through lots of parkland, barking dogs and surprised locals. It was a sweaty humid night but as usual lots of fun. The run report ranged from “started nothing special and ended nothing special” to ‘a hazardous water crossing through a mere 2 inches of water”
The walkers report was much more complementary with “nice conversations and much assistance when needed when crossing the water”
It was a drier run than last week but the heavens opened during nosh. No one really noticed as we all tucked in to a hearty meal of bangers and mash. (well done Tackle!)
Bevan was welcomed as a virgin and Not Yet and Sodonme as returnees.
Big Bazza celebrated his 450th run, Crunchy Crack 25 Spock 561 and Fuckin Hell (Farcanel) an amazing 1111.
Charges went to Sodnme for pretending to be someone else. Weed for looking like Fuckin Hell (Farcanel). Not Yet for knowing all the locals and still getting lost. Superstalk for thinking he was on a long distance athletic run. Two Tit Fruitti for littering shoes everywhere and Captain Spock (?) because he is retired.
Weed forgot to tell Mole he had collected prick of the week on her behalf last week. She reluctantly passed it on to Pendinga for being the wettest person in the circle. (we think she really wanted to keep it!)
The raffle was won by Pendinga and Carnt.
Prostitutes announcement-There will be breakaway Southern Areas HASH meeting at the Mountain View Hotel Sunday 16th 3.30 for 4pm
On On Dorothy

Run 1633

Super stalk gave a run report of 10/10 before the run. “No shiggy, No rain, plenty of trail.” How quickly he changed his mind, once he had got back. “Storm drains, crocodiles, and rain, rain, rain. Very little trail, however the drink stop was “the best” (for those of us who got to have it.) -5 for the run and +6 for the drink stop. Final score 1/10.
Dorothy gave the walker’s report. All the walkers got lost and didn’t make drink stop, very unimpressed. Mole left early.
RETURNEES: Spread ‘Em drank with Dorothy.
CHARGES: Tutti charged Hare for no drink stop, the ultimate sin!! Twisted charged Tanx for being a human moving earthquake. Spread ‘Em charged Pendinga for shortcutting. Penny charged Mole for false direction, with Penny chosen as Mole look alike. Weed charged Tahnee for losing her dad. Boopy charged Carnt for a girly shortcut. Basil had apparel belonging to Boopy and Spread ‘Em from 6 months ago.
P.O.W: went to Weed on behalf of Mole.
DOUBLE DONGER: give to Handmaiden for a schmozzle of a run. And Pullthru will “give it to her in the box.”
LIMP DICK: went to Carnt for his girly shortcut.
RAFFLES: Pro and Twisted Sister.
ANNOUNCMENTS: Pro has put forward the idea of starting a hash out at Little Mulgrave, with inaugural run on March 16th. Run from Mountain View Hotel, in and around that local area. To be called “Little Mully H H HARRIOTS.”(hashers, harriettes, and idiots.) For more information see Prostitute or Betty Boop.

Run 1632

Basil Thrush's Last Stand
30 odd Hashers took off up the street. I have no idea where they went because I didn't do the run. Derringer gave the run report, said it was well marked, got wet feet, went past a school and ended up at the Racecourse for a drink stop. The walkers headed home and the runners did a lap of the track. The run scored 3 out of 10. Coin Slot gave a walkers report, all she said was it was long and flat. Make what you will of that statement. 2 out of 10.
Visitors : - >Its Curtains Returnee :- Adam, Derringer and Josh Virgin :- Justin
Departees :- Eila is going back to Korea. Tarnie drank with her.
91 Runs :- Non de Plume 80 Runs :- Basil Thrush
Charges :- Basil Thrush for not supplying boiled lollies when going near a school also placing arrows in conflicting directions. Pendinga for not running over the bridge. Super for his birthday. Mr Spock for not bring the shorts. VD and Kotex for having car accidents. Bouncer and Mr Spock for their 45th Wedding Anniversary.
Run of the Month :- Mole got the Hat. Prick of the Week :- Dorothy
Raffles :- Wait-a-While and Kneetrembler
Red Dress Run :- 29th February, cost is $20. Shirt is $20
On On Bouncer

Run 1631

Were you at AGPU ?
We headed down Spence St. from the Cape York Hotel and just crossed the railway line when the first check had the pack puzzled. Where were the marks? Hare Weed eventually arrived to show the marks on the side of the flowing drain. No-one was that silly ….except Weed! We headed across the dereclict wasteland to the Convention Centre and twisted through the alleys and walkways to Anzac Park for a regroup. Down to Wharf St. to another check and false trails.
It was about then that your scribe was discarded. Checking a false trail, I returned to find the pack had disappeared. So, it was “ON KEG” for me. I figured I’d probably sneak a couple of stubbies down before they all returned!
After the AGPU(see new Mismanagement Committee) Nosh arrived, . more stubbies consumed while some of the Harrietes were on the bubbly. After 2 or 3 bubblies, some Harriettes get decidedly untidy… we discovered in the circle!

New GM Betty Boop made good use of McTaf’s whistle. Twisted Sista’s walk report went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. For a score she looked at one hand, saw 10 fingers and gave it a 5. Pendinga’s run report was unambiguous – like last week’s run and gave it a -5 – total 0.

Returnees were Oops and Prostitute, Twisted Sista celebrated her 300th run and Satako was hauled out just for fun. New Sergeant-At-Arms Carnt called for charges which saw Nom De Plume out for another run assault – this time on Sodonme (which surprised no one). Weed was charged for proffering $8.40 instead of the required $20 for AGPU. The charged was reversed on TwoTit Fruitti for accepting the discounted amount. Twisted charged That Much and Xrated for not having Hash haberdash. Tanx wore that one for not delivering haberdash at the previous runs. Hare Weed was charged for being the only dumb bastard who got his feet wet running down the drain!

Hikono got a special commendation from Basil Thrush for grabbing his crotch as he walked past – this stroke has been commended to other Harriettes. Wait-a-While copped a charge for driving his van past the drink-stop but responded “I wasn’t me” (???) – the charge stuck. Basil T charged Super Stalk for whispering “On On” and Basil T copped one from Weed “…because I can”. That Much was charged with shopping during a Hash run (apparently that’s usual behaviour on a Hariettes run).

Pendinga awarded the Prick of The Week to Hare Weed, Mr.Spock is still washing the Girlie Shorts and Pullthrough is still enjoying the double donger.
Raffles went to Basil Thrush and Maid Marian, and a good night was had by all!
On on,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1630

Uninspiring, uneventful, uninteresting, undulating, unpopular, unambiguous amble.
Pullthrough’s place was home for the run and once the Hashers got the place organised, it wasn’t too bad. A BIG pool was eyed expectantly by the “swimming hashers” and after several
ignored calls from Mr.Spock, GM Tackle called for a run briefing. The first part was inaudible thanks to talkers at the rear, but Pullthrough said it was a simple trail, quite unambiguous. Now that word had hashers puzzled until Pullthrough said “it means fuckin’ easy, just head down the drive and turn left”.
When we got to the road, the arrow pointed right. Was this a Hare’s mysterious check, or just dyslexic confusion??? Turned out to be the latter. The trail was straightforward, no checks, no re-groups, no false trails and boring. The only saviour was a park before the drink stop. Short-cutters (and that meant just about all the 27 who rolled up) then took the direct way home and even Pullthrough resigned himself to a short cut in the end. I think Mole was the only one who completed the course.
In the circle, Wait-A-While’s run report was thorough and long, with the hare scoring a half a point out of ten.
Now my notes are less than legible as I was standing, balancing a beer, notepad and pen.

Charges went to Pullthrough for a wrong way arrow, Lynne for being in the wrong place at the wrong time..Betty Boop charged Pro in absentia for always saying we should get more young women to Hash but not being there when four new ones rolled up. Wed reversed the charge. Not Yet copped one form Carnt for taking a leak on the run and Big Bazza was charged for stripping and changing his clothes beside the pool in full view…..a very frightening sight!! Basil Thrush was charged for chatting up young ladies (Isn’t that a hasher’s role???)
Knee Trembler got a charge for asking Big Bazza to pick up a tribe of young nymphets from his place. There were others but I can’t read my writing.
Returnees were Dorothy, James, Alana, Twisted Sista, No Knickers and Not Yet. Virgins were Nick, Hikono and Satako.
Mr. Spock chose to hang on to the Girlie Shhorts for another week, and Maid Marian conferred the Double-Donger on Pullthrough so he could learn left from right.
Raffles went to Mr. Spock and Basil Thush.
A superb nosh followed. Succulent Asian flavours from a variety of different dishes were enthusiastically devoured, followed by a HUGE cream-filled cake. WOW! A great way to wind up the night.
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1629
Notes 210108
Eventful Night at McTaffs
Run 1631 (or is it 1630?) proved to be a night of significance. On arrival we thought Nosh would precede the run as Crunchy Crack was cooking up a swag of snags on the barbie. Not so! she adamantly denied. GM tackle made his first appearance for 6 months after stints working down south. Good to see him and he took control after Mr. Spock’s calls “Are we running tonight?” fell on deaf ears – or failed to penetrate the many animated conversations. It soon became evident that this was a cracker roll-up. 38 hashers (incl 2 virgins) set out on the run/walk, carefully laid out in typical McTaf style. As usual, McTaf joined the runners. Now, the trick with McTaf’s runs is to never get ahead of Mc Taf because he knows where the false trails are!!!!!
A familiar drink stop location – and boy – did we need that drink. You could see where we’d been from the trail of sweat! Back at base, the esky’s in the Spock historic trailer were attacked on our return. The circle started with Pendinga’s run review which praised the Hare’s efforts and awarded a -2. XRAYted gave the walk review saying she enjoyed it, it wasn’t long enough, but didn’t get lost. She was asked if she was reviewing the run or the Prick of the Week? She awarded it a +2, giving Hare McTaf a creditable score of 0.
Charges from the run went to Nom De Plume for a sustained physical attack on Carnt, Pendinga and his map for both Chase (who forgot his shoes!) and Tani (forgetting to pick up Josh), XRated for a shit walkers report, and Betty Boop for overlooking the jelly babies in the drink stop.
Returnees were Prostitute, Sodonme, Tackle, Verbal Diarrhoea and Nom De Plume. Virgins were Lilly and Tanya. Phukit reluctantly admitted it was his birthday.
Basil Thrush copped a pre-emptive down-down (the first of many) because of his imminent departure to Asian climes which will preclude further down-downs as the year progresses. Wait-A-While awarded the girlie shorts to Mr. Spock to add authority to his “running tonight?” call. About this time, it was noticed that McTaf had his appendage dangling from the right leg of his shorts. This spurred discussion as it was about level with his knee. It turned out to be the double-donger which was presented to Maid Marian. The Prick of the Week was awarded to Chase for his hill-climbing skills. Nogat and Spock took the raffle prizes and Betty Boop performed the old loaves and fishes trick feeding the huge horde of hungry Hashers.
On On, Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1628
Notes 140108

Mole’s mushy meander
What a fantastic run for a dry wet night!!. Trail was full of checks and false trails that kept both the walkers and runners packs together. We set off through the bush thinking it’s on to the beach, remembering those words about sand and crocodiles, but no, we headed the other way toward the Trinity Beach swamps. It was over much shiggy and bush until finally we came out to the dry roads. Over to Coastwatchers park and the walkers took the scenic route via the park while the runners veered off to run up Moresby, in and out of Trinity Beach and finally all meeting up for the drink stop on the car park corner. Trail then went up Trinity Beach road and cut back through Kewarra Beach passing Skid marks trail from TH3 of 4 months ago – still damaging the environment and then on home. Just the right length for a hot steamy, sweaty night in the tropics.
Run report from Chase said ‘hmmm it was pretty average 6/10’ Big Bazza kept Hare Mole company for the charge.
Returnees: Big Bazza, Bedouin, Chase, Tahnee, That Much, Carnt, Dianne, Handbrake, Josh,
Charges: Barbara and Tahnee for being pretentious for warming up. Betty Boop and Stand in stunt double Phukit for PDA in the pool. Wait a While for dereliction of duty i.e., failing to pour a beer for a charge for everyone. Handbrake for being 29 (again apparently) Farcanal for impersonating McTaff (who wasn’t wearing his colostomy shorts). Twins Tahnee and Chase (four years apart – what a pregnancy).
Girlie shorts maybe Mole`, for making That Much too tired for anything else but finally to Wait a While for being a hazardous Wait a While. Bedouin finally remembered the Double Donger and gave it to MacTaff for something. POW- Handmaiden remembers having it once now that’s just a memory
SACRED NAMINGS – Religious adviser Pendinga did his duty and advised all attending that Barbara will be know and X RAYted and Dianne will now be known as COIN SLOT
Nosh was smoke induced BBQ’ed lamb with tasty sauce, snags, great salads, and birthday cake and cream for dessert.
On On, Betty Boop E&OA

Run 1627
Notes 070108

Wet Westcourt Wanderings
It didn’t look good …..rain through the afternoon looked like getting heavier and it only got worse. No Hash Booze had arrived before the run leaving many in a state of dazed pre-run shock.
Knee-Trembler’s broken briefing was interrupted by trips indoors during which conversations started. He issued a handful of maps to selected Hashers and we set off, quickly finding the marks until we got to McCormack street. Then the maps proved handy – to those who could read it! Others, without their spectacles, could only gaze at the blur of images with red dots and imagine.
We all made it to the drink stop then set off “On Keg’ in different directions. Hash Booze had arrived by then (Thankfully!) and two bowls of crisps were eagerly devoured. With Weed preparing the Down Downs, McTaf (minus whistle) took the circle and Mr. Spock’s run report covered upside-down maps, wrong ways (he wasn’t there) and he scored it a 10 out of 10 adding it had so much potential!!
Visitors were Ella, Bo and Gin, Virgin was Fay and Returnees were Mr. Spock, Bouncer, Opps, Phuket, Vacant Patch, Wallabee and the unsuccessfully-hiding Kotex.

Weed jumped in with news that the AGPU is on 4th of February at Curry Corner and you are needed for a contact on the Interhash Website.
Mr. Spock and Far Canal for reading the map upside-down, Knee Trembler for supplying upside-down maps and Ella for being a Knee Trembler look-alike.
Pullthrough copped one for forgetting who he was, Nick was hit with a “Name them or Join them” challenge. He met the challenge, but copped a down down for being a smart-arse!
Super Stork charged Knee Trembler for sending his little son Ky out in the rain at the drink stop to check on the runner’s progress while he stayed dry sitting in the car. Bo and Gin were ordered to join Knee Trembler.
(These Koreans will return home with stories of strange rituals in Australia)
Oops tried to charge McTaf for deliberately splashing her at the drink stop – of course, the charge was reversed.
Pro put a late-late charge from the Christmas Eve run for Maid Marian who got bogged while parked on a sealed road!!! Nick charged Tanx for leading runners on a tour of Cairns instead of following the marks – This backfired on Nick who didn’t know that on Monday 7th January you can’t charge a Hasher with a name starting with “T”. Basil Thrush charge Oops with bringing political material to Hash.
Raffles went to Basil Thrush and Pro – no prick, double donger or girlie shorts were present.
Nosh was delicious chicken wins and salads, followed by warm fruit mince pies. Yum!
On On
Basil Thrush E&OA.

Run 1626
Notes 311207
Hash Helps Old Year Out
It was symbolic, in a weird sort of way - farewelling 2007 in front of the soon to be farewelled Cairns Yacht Club. As we toed the only remaining patch of sandy beach left in the concrete jungle that has become the city and listened to Not Yet’s pre-run briefing most realised that soon the concrete would cover this final tinnie refuge in Cairns city.

Then it was “On On” along the boardwalk, past the surprised looks of early diners at the posh restaurants. A late start meant we’d missed the boat, so back off the marina and along to the Esplanade pool where a swim was rejected. The motley bunch headed into Abbott St, ad quick flip through the night markets, past PJ O”Briens, the Grand and Shenanigans(Why?) before a very welcome thirst-slaking beer at the Cape York.
Then it was “On Keg” whichever way you wanted.

The circle in front of the Yacht Club was taken by McTaf who broke with convention by calling Visitor John (son of Wait-A-While) to take his down down. A call for charges saw Bottom-Dweller charge Mc Taf (which immediately rebounded on her) and Derringer for forgetting his Hash name.
Twisted Sister charged Nom De Plum for yodelling on-on, and Tanx for not bringing Hash haberdash for John and Brabara. Twisted then copped a charge from Hand Maiden for being rude about Nommy’s yodelling.
There were no raffle prizes so McTaf organised a “virtual raffle” with John winning a virtual bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne. John appeared a little confused when asked to draw the second virtual prize – a virtual bottle of Verve Cliquot.
Nommy copped a charge from Basil Thrush for frightening city walkers by baring her midriff – this rebounded as it was agreed more Harriettes should remove more clothing.
Then…….we were staring in the face of the last charges for 2007!!!!!
Dorothy copped the “low-profile” charge, Far Canal because he hadn’t been charged, Bottom Dweller because she said Derringer didn’t have the guts to charge her, Tanx a charge for being inconspicuous were among a flurry of charges.

Then came Hare Not Yet’s report on the run – that’s different. Wait-A-While was asked to give a report on the run report but started to give a run report, and scored a +2. When it was pointed we wanted a report on the report he scored it a -2. Confused??? So was he!

Some of the Harriettes then sneaked inside to shower and change for dinner, while other Hashers disappeared into what was left of 2007.
Happy New Year!
On On,
Basil Thrush

Run 1625

Pro’s riverside ramble
It was a respectable crowd for a Christmas Eve run - way, way down south at Ross & Locke. Respectable in numbers only, it should be noted. 22 social outcasts who hadn’t received invitations to the multitude of Christmas Eve parties assembled on the bank of the Little Mulgrave River to hear Pro’s brief brief.
The runners headed for the hills, while the walkers headed to a cane train bridge across the river. This is where Pro’s best laid plans began to unravel. Several of the wimpy walkers refused to tackle the bridge, so Pro had to drive them – that’s right, drive them to the road so they could participate!!
What is Hash coming to???? “Walk the bridge or swim the river”, I say. But no, they hitched a ride.
Meantime, the runners were fighting for survival themselves. Fording the river proved to be “sink or swim”. The vertically challenged amongst them – Mole, Dead Ringer and Weed were in it up to and slightly above their necks. And they’re lucky it was only water – normally they’re in slightly thicker, brownish-coloured material.

The drink stop was at the Little Mully (Mountain View Hotel to the non –locals) where we saw some really nice jugs. They’ve done it up a treat out the back – but no-one was out there apart from the motley Hash crew.
On On back to the river bank with the brave tackling the train bridge again and the wimps hitching a ride with Pro.
Weed took the circle and Hare Pro fronted for his run/swim report. Pimp (who got lost taking a short cut to the keg) gave it a .75 out of 10.
Virgins were Dorothy, Ian and Hugh. Returnees Pimp, Dead Ringer and Mrs. Wait-A-While.
Charges went to Hare Pro for making Mole and Dead Ringer swim for their lives. Pimp was charged for being lost and “If one Navy bloke drinks, ALL Navy blokes drink!”
All the acrophobics (look it up!!!) were charged for failing to cross the bridge. Betty Boop ,Maid Marian and Tu Tit Fruitti got charged for something while and Basil Thrush was charged with showing off.
Betty Boop charged Sonic Beep with something (couldn’t see to write in the dark!) Tanx was charged for calling to those who just nervously crossed the cane train bridge that it was a false trail and to go back. Nogat was charged for failing to bring the Down Down mugs, Not Yet charged with saying “mishcoshepshon”, Tutti charged harriettes Crunchy and Sonic Beep for something, McTaf gave Pimp the prick of the week, but Pimp won’t be here to pass it on.
Pimp drew a raffle ticket to award the prick and he got it. McTaf was charged for looking good out front, Nook & Cranny charged with the low profile award.
A point of order was called by Pro over the down-down tune “Little boys are half a crown”. He said $100 dollars would be more accurate, but he was informed that there are less expensive places to get little boys.
Four raffle prizes went to McTaf, McTaf, McTaf and pimp. Nosh was a bit light on as Pro had only expected about a dozen to roll up. Ham salad sandwiches were followed by Chistmas cake and custard. Wait-A-While caused some serious concern and a rapid evacuation of his vicinity when he was engaged in an animated conversation while holding the opened carton of custard.
Top night, and no breathalyser on the way home!
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1624
Notes 171207
Tanx bewildering dash, sensational nosh
Funny thing about a good nosh. It obliterates the worst aspects of any Hash run. And Tanx took full advantage of that fact. On our return there were stacks of piping hot spring rolls, dim sims, crisps, dips & bikkies. So much so, that we thought it was an early nosh before the circle. Not so. After the circle came the hot roast chicken, garden salads, coleslaw, pasta salad and other goodies. WOW! What a feast!

In the absence of GM Tackle, stand-in, look-alike GM Weed it was McTaf who took the circle in true military precision. Knee Trembler’s run report was less than complimentary….a lot less. I guess it was the confusion of white, blue and yellow arrows that had the front runners heading for home instead of the drink-stop then doubling back. Take note future hares. Don’t put in arrows and out arrows on the same road – even though they’re on opposite sides of the road! If there is a slight possibility that a Hasher can be confused, the Hasher WILL be confused!

A sneak preview of the new McTaf/Betty Boop mansion was afforded at the drink stop before we found our way back to the nosh. It was noted on the way to the drink stop that a chalk sign read “DS 300m”. Lauren and Basil Thrush think a zero was left off the end!
Tanx took his down down.
Visitors were Chris, Clint and returnees Sonic Beep, Knee Trembler, and Chris who were joined by TwoTit Fruitti who forgot that Nick was also a returnee.
Twisted was hauled out for her birthday of 35 years plus a few, Sonic Beep was charged along with Knee Trembler and Josh.
Pull Through awarded the Girlie Shorts to the only Hasher who snickered at him – Carnt. Tanx gave the Prick Of The Week to Nick and copped a charge for lack of effort in awarding the Prick. Bedouin forgot the double-donger but awarded it to himself for another week.
Raffles went to Twisted Sista and Lauren – the former then charging the latter with something or other.
A supplementary circle was called for naming duties. CH3 Religious Adviser Pendinga being present he duly performed his duties. Lauren is now Bottom Dweller, Melinda is Nook & Cranny, Clint is Derringer and Marlene is Vacant Patch.

On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1623
Notes 101207

Maid Marion’s Blistering trail
Hash notes this week are scarce – in fact not existing but suffice to say a good run, not too many sand flies and very good nosh.
Some virgins and returnees
POW went to Tanx – Double Donger went to Bedowin

Reminders - Christmas Eve run at Ross & Locke and New Years Eve run at the Cairns Yacht Club.
On On Basil Thrush E&OA ( who was not there because he was afraid sand flies might bite him – have’nt you heard of Aerogard!!!)

Run 1622
Notes 031207

Pendinga’s bush bash
It’s a long way to go for a run, but at Pendinga’s, you can be sure it’ll be a good one. He didn’t disappoint. But there were times when some Hashers wished they were charging along in a Caterpillar D7 instead of dripping sweat, fighting through the rainforest, the vines, spider webs, thorns, prickles, occasional snakes and crocodiles. 2 drink stops were welcome and most made it back in a little over an hour.
In the circle newcomer Nick was full of praise for Penny’s bush bash giving it an unprecedented score of 8! A first time runner, Twisted Sista, was very happy she wasn’t left behind to fend off snakes and crocs(Hashers, we’ve got to run faster!). Her run report began to take as long as the run, but she gave it all balance by awarding it a -6, which totalled 2.
Returnees were Mr. Spock, Melinda, Pendinga and Hand Maiden. It was also Pendinga’s 350th run – well done!
Charges came from Twisted Sista to Nom De Plume and Supa Stork for baring their midriffs during the run. Twisted was also charged for declaring she was hot (draw your own conclusions!). Basil Thrush copped one for calling a hasher by an unknown name. Nick was charged for giving the run a score of 8, Basil Thrush was charged by Melinda for turning a run arrow around, but the charge was reversed as it’s a Hashers’ duty to confuse. Hash Haberdash Tanx was charged for failing to provide Hash attire.
That Much didn’t own up that she had the Prick of the Week, Betty Boop (absent) has the double donger and Pull Through (absent) has the girlie shorts.
Raffles went to Nogat and Tanx who resolved to have a relaxing drink on the beach.
Tacos for nosh made a very pleasant change and Penny provided a mild, sweet chilli sauce as garnish – Hasher’s who know Pendinga’s reputation for chilli tried it with trepidation, but it was delicious! He capped this off with ice cream and a mango-ginger fruit salad! Sensational.
Reminders - Christmas Eve run at Ross & Locke and New Years Eve run at the Cairns Yacht Club.

Run 1621
Notes 26/11/07
The Betty/Crunchy/McTaf Maze
If you thought it was confusing trying to navigate your car through Forest Gardens, you ought to try doing a Hash run with hares Betty Boop/Crunchy Crack/McTaf – it was a family affair and the blame was shared. However, the trail bore all the features of McTaf. He even accompanied the runners, regularly getting us back on trail – possibly because of the lack of marks. False trails abounded – keeping the runners/walkers together, but frustrating the hell out of the front runners. It became obvious that it was futile to run ahead of McTaf because you’d end up backtracking.
McTaf made good use of the maze of walking trails and small parks that wind around the suburb – a good run with plenty of variety, and a very welcome drink stop.

We thought we’d lost a few along the run again, only to find them back “home’ when we returned. Hmmmmmm. Did they run or didn’t they????

Basil Thrush took the circle and Betty Boop was nominated as Hare from the possible trio. After a scathing report from Mole who kept losing trail and a score of -4, SupaStalk was more kind saying it was a similar trail to last week with runners and walkers heading off and arriving back from seven different directions – score a +3.

Visitors were James, Rachael, and Pull-Through (it’s been so long since he last appeared we class him as a visitor).
Virgin was Leeanna, while McTaf was the returnee.
Charges flowed – first from Twisted Sista who charged Leeanna and pull-through for no Hash attire. SupaStalk and Mole were charged with doing work on two occasions while on the run. Mole then charged Twisted Sista for showing off by actually completing the run – for the first time in living Hash memory.
Weed charged Nom De Plume for almost pushing him down into a creek while she was attacking Basil Thrush during the run. (What is this with Nommy? She wrestled SupaStalk to the ground a few weeks ago) Twisted copped another charge, from Carnt, after she left her towel at his place last week and had the cheek to ask if he’d washed it out!!!
Rachael and Lauren were charged with short-cutting the run – other short-cutters were spared.
It was about this time that McTaf realised that the sausages on the bbq had been ignored for 20 minutes. Nothing wrong with black sausages is there? Don’t know why he didn’t get Carnt to do the bbq – happens everywhere else.
Raffles went to Not Yet and Mole.
Twisted Sista bestowed the Girlie Shorts to Pull Through because he needed Hash attire.
Betty Boop in a brief period of confusion (are you surprised???) denied having the Prick Of The Week, but suddenly realised that it was in her possession. She hurriedly raced into her bedroom and retrieved it from under her pillow. While this was happening, Laura gave the double donger to McTaf and Betty Boop because she said life was about “sharing”.

See elsewhere in the Hash Post for details about the Christmas Eve and New Years Eve runs.
On On
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1620
Notes 191107

Totally Lost It!
Any clear-thinking Hasher, when given a map for an uncomplicated run, should make it home – even with a few wrong turns here and there. Right???? WRONG!!! Carnt’s run wasn’t long (the rain had washed away the marks for checks and regroups) and after the drink-stop (non-alcoholic I might add!) we headed under the Western Arterial Road for the short jog home. About 7pm it became obvious that Brabara and Marlene were missing. Two search parties set off and the pair was found at the Bella Vista shopping centre (where else???).

Carnt’s pool was welcomed by a handful, while others slaked their thirst. Thankfully the rain held off for the run and circle. Weed took the Hash Booze role and Screwer took the circle, and for something completely different, started with visitors Lauren, Mr. Icy (PNG) then Virgins Maureen, Nick and Mick.

Screwer said that in his 214 years and 15 days of running with Hash he had never seen a hare give a route map to EVERY Hasher. Now it should be explained that the map wasn’t much bigger than a postage stamp stuck on an A4 sheet of paper - impossible for any Hasher over 25 years of age to read the street names. Supa’s run report highlighted that the Hashers went in 12 different directions before the drink stop and 12 different directions after the drink stop, but gave the overall run a +3.

You wouldn’t believe it – Both raffle prizes were won by Carnt – he’s back to his old tricks and the reason for his name.

Charges were plenty – Twisted Sista for bumming a smoke as soon as she arrived, Marlene and Brabara for going shopping during the run and reading the map upside down (they’re women aren’t they???).
No Knickers charged for refusing to run because she wanted to look at the houses, Carnt charged by lost one Brabara for a confusing run but he blamed That Much. Twisted charged again for taking a ride to the drink stop and walking home, Knee Trembler for arriving late and still beating us all home, Nom DePlume for not sharing a private joke with the circle – joke-teller Nogat charged with being a Hasher under suspicion.
Tanx awarded the girlie shorts to Twisted Sista for offering him a ride to the drink stop, and Lauren got the double-donger because her hubby’s away in the Navy with McTaf. No Prick Of the Week – it’s still in use by Betty Boop.
Late charges went to Mr. Icy for talking on a mobile phone during the run and Nick for making Maureen late for Hash. Tanx copped another for privately showing his double donger to a hash virgin!!!!
The top nosh was eagerly devoured by the hungry hordes
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1619
Notes on Nommy’s run 121107
Nommy’s knockout nosh
Setting new standards in Hash haute cuisine, Nom de Plume’s super spread was a winner. Centrepiece were the Euro sausages, coupled with onions, barbecued potatoes and mountains of salad. Now Nommy wasn’t seen to be doing all that much as the circle progressed, but Carnt was slaving away on the barbecue around the corner. His culinary skills have improved enormously since he joined Hash and he’s become the “stand-in chef look-alike” at many Hash runs. Well done – so were the sausages!!
The run started out a bit hesitantly when no marks could be found on the other side of the highway, but Mole knew where the drink stop was going to be so we followed her. Sure enough, the marks were found and on trail. Nommy’s arrows were so huge they put Main Roads to shame. Maybe she’s angling for a job on the highways? Anyway there was no losing trail and we all made it to the drink stop (except Carnt who was chained to the barbecue). Now the drink was extra tasty – bit coconutty – very nice.
The run home seemed a lot longer than the run out – or was that just protesting muscles?
Nibblies on our return were baguette, sliced ham, sliced German sausage and cheese – all rapidly devoured.
Stand-in look-alike GM Weed called the circle and targeted Big Bazza and Bouncer for talking. Bazza said he was just telling Bouncer to shut up – quick thinking saved a charge.

A brief run report from Hand Maiden, who awarded a 2, and set herself up for a charge by saying she was talking all the way and didn’t take much notice of the run.

Returnees were Dead Ringer(on soft drink!!!), Donna, Hand Maiden and Dodo.
Charges went to Basil Thrush for being a media tart and also serving food at the races, Hand Maiden for talking the entire time of the run, Betty Boop for window-shopping during the run, and Nom De Plume for leaving her shoes at the last run.

Pro charged Twisted Sista with getting white spots on her face from listening to Basil Thrush on the radio. Crunchy Crack joined the chargees for failing to come up with a down-down ditty.
Nom De Plume and Donna were designated look-alike, stand-in doubles as both were dressed alike, are the same height and same hair style and colour – who would have thought??
Pro came up with a charge about a Nommy’s black dog and a look-alike and somehow Far Canal got the down-down – something about Wishbone.
Hash apparrel was awarded: Tanx got the double donger while Big Bazza gave the Prick Of The Week to Betty Boop.

Due ceremony followed, and in the absence of Religious Adviser Pendinga, Weed adopted the mantle of RA and called Donna to step up for her Hash name. Several names were bandied about. Donna works at security at the airport and when asked to demonstrate, she provided the perfect Hash handle…..”Spread’em”. She was duly annointed.

Plenty of upcoming Hash events – A Christmas Eve run at Ross & Locke & a New Year’s Eve run at the Yacht Club look like FUN! Raffles went to Weed and Tanx.
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1618
Notes 051107
Monday Midge Muddle
It was Big Bazza, I think, who suggested we run from near the pirate ship on the North Esplanade. Funny how he didn’t show up. Neither did Tackle (our GM in absentia), Asst. GM Weed(his birthday), R.A. Pendinga, Mole, Hash Post notes…so there were some notable absentees. BUT, the midges were intense!!!

Before the run, Hashers were hopping around, spraying repellent(didn’t work!), scratching, and making moves away from the keg. Twisted Sista made an early start to the run just to escape the onslaught. There were no stragglers heading off – it was such a relief to get moving away from the mangroves.

Not Yet set the trail and being Guy Fawkes night, we all thought it’d be a cracker. He took us south along the Esplanade, then to Sheridan St. past the Cock & Bull. I was hoping it was a drink stop, but the front runners kept going. This action is against the best intentions of Hash – charges may arise. On to McLeod St., with plenty of checks and false trails along the way.. When we got to the Pioneer Cemetery, I was near dead!

Back at the keg, the jumping, dancing and scratching resumed. Some adjourned to nearer the road, but there was no respite from the midges. Acting GM look-alike Wait-A-While called the circle and it was quite evident our numbers had shrunk in the period from the run to the circle. Charges may arise for these midge-dodging miscreants. Most of us were itching to get away as well!
Tanx run report was brief –a good run – well marked – ended up in McDonalds and a score of 1/10. Uproar followed, then Wait-A-While asked Monica for a ditty for the Hare – who the hell is Monica????? Just as well he was acting GM and avoided a down down.

Newcastle visitors Music Man and Creaky were presented and were joined by returnees Far Canal and Pro (Bobcat wasn’t spotted lurking in the shadows). A report from Weed and Mole’s party was presented by Screwer – he could remember too much so he obviously wasn’t drunk enough. Sunday’s breakfast was beer and lunch followed in a similar manner.
Maid Marian, who postponed her scheduled Guy Fawkes run, was roundly condemned for forcing good Hashers to be eaten alive by Midges on the Esplanade. Retard was judged a Maid Marian look alike and took the down-down.

Marlene reluctantly awarded the double donger to Far Canal, while Tanx got the girlie shorts from No Knickers for calling into McDonald’s during the run. No Prick ‘cos Big Bazza wasn’t there.
Betty Boop charged the Newcastle visitors who then gave a fabulous performance of the Newcastle Hash song – CHHH needs a Hash Song. Tanx copped a charge from Crunchy Crack for spilling beer while trying to tie her sarong – don’t ask!!!
Far Canal took another charge for Guy Fawkes night and being a Weed look-alike on Weed’s birthday.
Raffles went to Tanx and Pro, followed by a fabulous nosh of prawns, fish and fresh garden salads.
Would’ve been good, if it wasn’t for the midges!
On On
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1617

Spockalite brightens the sky!

Mr. Spock’s done it again. Right on cue, his personal satellite streaked overhead just before the circle. All eyes were skyward as we gazed in awe at this spaceship and wondered how Spock can launch and control this thing from his back yard. The stack of batteries along the wall of his garage is a bit of a giveaway. Who would have thought a cosmos mastermind lurked behind that goofy visage?

The run??? The pack surprised a well-endowed young lady lurking beneath the drain on Irene St. SupaStalk emerged quickly from the other side but so did the wench…Supa was to get into more strife later, possibly aroused by his close proximity to the young thing. He was looking decidedly hot and sweaty – but we all did. It was one of those still, muggy nights.
For the first part the run was draining – all the way along the drain to Swallow St. Confusion brought about by lack of marks followed coupled with the front-runners whispering “On On” – that didn’t help. No drink stop, but we all made it back in good time - probably because we were all so damn thirsty!
Not Yet’s report was so long I nodded off. But someone told me he said the run had no bog, no water, no swamps, no crocs and was boring over dry land and scored a 2 out of 10.
Visitor was Frank who was attending his annual Hash run, and Virgins were Lori, Emma and Adam. Big cheers for Handbrake celebrating 51 runs and SupaStalk on his 1250th run – he doesn’t look 87 does he?
Charges went to Basil Thrush for being a media tart, Twisted Sista for anything, SupaStalk for having his hash shirt scorched by the ironing lady, Betty Boop for trying to lock herself in Spock’s place knowing Bouncer was away, Weed for dragging Bobcat around behind him every day (Squealing with delight, he said). A Weed look-alike in Adam took the down down, Brabara charged with trying to blame Hash men for bum pinching when it was Betty Boop all the time.
Carnt brought a charge of sexual molestation against Nom De plume for grabbing Supa Stalk and wrestling him to the ground during a re-group.
Not Yet and Brabara charged with not wearing Hash gear along with Hash Haberdash Tanx for not forcing them to buy Haberdash. Twisted charged Nom De Plume for the same, but Nommy ripped off her towel (as Nommy does) to reveal a Hash shirt! Twisted took the down down.
The Girlie Shorts were presented to No Knickers for wearing matching pink clobber, Big Bazza got the Prick Of The Week for bragging about his run efforts while the Double Donger award became a real cock fight(!). Marlene eventually got it for locking her keys in her car. When presented with the prize, she asked “What do I do with this?” ……Hullo????
Forget who won the raffles, and nosh was pizza (Bouncer’s away, remember?)
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1616
Notes 221007
Basil’s Blacktop and Bush Bash
Latecomers to Basil Thrush’s don’t have to walk or run – they get their exercise just walking from their parked car. A good roll up of mainly walkers set off on the trail – walkers were provided with a map – runners had to look for marks, up roads, through parks, drink stops and back to circle.
Knee trembler’s run report was embarrassingly complimentary – “and I’ll give it an honest score of 7.” which was greeted by howls of protest. (What score would he have given if he was NOT honest?)
Returnees were plentiful, Basil Thrush, Chopper, Pullthrough, Crunchy, Kotex, Maid Marian, virgin was Denise (not de-nephew). That Much was away with the pixies when asked for a down-down ditty and introduced a new Hash song that wasn’t rude, crude, offensive or smutty.
Charges were plentiful – Carnt charged Pullthrough with wearing someone elses clothes, Supa charged Basil Thrush for distributing election signs while setting the run, Kotex charged Basil for placing a huge 4 above his garage door and she was duly presented with the 4. Basil charged Nogat for calling a Tanx by an unknown name, Kotex charged SupaStalk for thinking she was a Pendinga look-alike. Discussion followed and it was agreed she has more hair than Pendinga. Kotex copped a charge from Chopper who was forced to perve on her when she was riding – her motorbike!
Betty Boop was charged for getting to the first corner and then referring to the provided map and turning it upside down!!
Phukit was charged by Weed for disappearing at his own run before the run report and down-downs. Phukit tried to reverse it so Weed accepted, then passed the charge on to a Weed look-alike – Phukit!!!! (confused yet? You should have been there!!)
Apparel awards: Big Bazza presented the double-donger to Betty Boop. Screwer presented the Prick Of The Week to Not Yet for being an FRB for the first time in his life and the Girly Shorts were presented by Weed to Knee Trembler for his girly run report.
Late charges from Mole to Not Yet for collecting an empty Bundy bottle and leaving the glasses behind, Twisted Sister charged Big Bazza after he made unsavoury comments when he spied a suitcase in a Vinnies bin (Aren’t Hashers supposed to be unsavoury?) but not collecting it for his travels.
Raffles went to Screwer and No Knickers. Confusion reigned for toilet goers when the floor arrows directing Hashers to the right room were tampered with. Some found themselves walking in from the garage and straight out the front door, while others found themselves in the laundry!!
Nosh was barbecue snags, hambuggers and salad. I’m stuffed!!!!
On On,
Basil Thrush

Run 1615
Supa’s Straford stroll
There are some great note, but I don’t have them

Run 1614
Notes 081007

Phukit’s 10k Marathon
File this away for future reference: When you set a trail from a push bike, it seems a lot shorter than it really is!!!!!!! There were times on Monday evening when we thought we’d made it to the outskirts of Cairns city from Trinity Beach. Two drink stops (non-alcoholic!!) didn’t make it any better. Most made it back in a little under 90 minutes! Hare Phukit must have suspected what was coming up for him in the circle and was seen to be speeding off into the night before the main body of Hashers made it home. Hand Brake had to face the fury.
Some of the more desperate Hashers polluted the pool, while others just enjoyed the recovery period. Acting GM Weed called the circle and That Much said the run was the worst – too long, monster mozzies and a score of -3. Visitor Retard said he hates road runs, especially ones that far and scored it a 2. Weed accepted the Hare’s down-down as a look-alike for Phukit.

Returnees were Basil Thrush, Screwer & Mashit, while visitors were Retard and TeePee. We were lucky to have TeePee in the circle. Her diminutive form was almost carried away by the giant mozzies at the first drink stop. Virgin Marlene is still in a state of shock from her first Hash run.
Charges went against Phukit (in absentia), Retard for feeding TeePee to the mozzies, Nom De Plume for leaving her T shirt at unmentionable places, and Betty Boop for having a towel that would barely dry one of her boobs. Virgin Marlene was again charged – this time for having known about Hash for months, but being sufficiently sane to abstain.

Supa Stalk and Wait–A-While were charged with being media tarts, That Much for becoming a grandma for the first time and Carnt for screwing a grandma!

There was no Prick Of The Week or Double Donger to be seen, but Weed passed the Girlie Shorts back to Supa Stalk. Basil Thrush charged the editor of Hash Post with using his name in vain ( or was it his vain in name???) and got the charge reversed, TeePee charged with calling an unknown person “Val”, Weed took a charge for something and so did Supa.
Raffles went to Mashit and Weed.
Hand Brake prepared a fabulous Nosh and lashings of it – top tucker – pity about the run!!!!
On On
Basil Thrush. E. & O.A.

Run 1613

Tackle’s Recovery Run
I was still pissed from the weekend, so all I can remember was great nosh of corn beef, a bit about the run around Manunda and more grog.
There are better notes somewhere, but no one has given them to me yet

Basil Thrush E & O A.

Run no. 1612
on 24th September 2007

Weed’s wanderings
One of the biggest packs of over 30 runners arrived at the Weed abode ready for a tour of Kewarra Beach. The pack started out the gate and into the paddock (surprise, surprise). Up through the dry creek bed and ending up along Cottlesloe drive. With a few false trails and lots of checks on the way they eventually made their way to the beach where the drinks stop awaited them. After a few comments on what a lovely night it was, the pack made their way back along the beachfront to home.
Visitors, returnees and virgins were abundant and all were duly charged (can’t remember but he wasn’t one of them). The girlie shorts finally surfaced after spending much time in Supa’s wardrobe – don’t know what he wanted them for but he handed them over the Weed.
Double Donger or POW or something went to Carnt. The raffles were won by some people and then we had the best tasty BBQ nosh and salads.
On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A. (in absentee)

Run 1611
17th September 2007

‘Waiting a while’ around Manunda
A great throng assembled for wait a while’s run and ventured out in an unusual direction!!!!. After a long check trail was eventually found and went in and out and around and about streets of Manunda ending up at the drink stop on draper Street. It was on Home and in the back way (to Wait a While’s yard) for the runners.
There were many visitors and returnees, Pendinga, Maid Marion, Sodonme, Donna, Big Bazza, Dianne, Captain Pugwash and Sticky Date.
Lots of charges and lots of Nosh.
Where or where are the Girlie Shorts………………There may be a big announcement soon.

On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A. (in absentee)

Run 1610

Not Yet’s run from a ‘not yet’ finished yard
The pack assembled in the new garage and started off down the road. Trail was sent over Ramsey Drive and through the bush, Some older hashers thought they were going up Marino’s quarry but no, the trail juts led us round and round in circles through the bush and over the mozzie infested swampy bits. WE came out of the bush only about 100m up the road from where we went in. Drink stop was on the next piece of Not Yet real estate and then it was on home down hill back to the keg.
Charge went to returnees Pendinga and VD and to our travelling visitors. Charges to Betty Boop, Carnt, That Much and Wait a While.
A good run with a bit of bush bashing. Nosh for the vegies courtesy of No Knickas and the meat lover courtesy of Not Yet
There may have been more but Basil Thrush is away si this is a good as it gets…………..
On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A. (in absentee)

Run 1608

Crunchy Crack’s White Rock Wanderings
We set off at a leisurely pace from Crunchy Crack’s place and followed trail to the highway. This is where some of the walkers came un-stuck. Looking for a short-cut they headed south, but NO! we crossed the highway into White Rock. Tackle dropped from the pack to lovingly fondle and embrace a Caterpillar bulldozer. We left him drooling while we kept on trail through the salubrious streets of White Rock. Many missed the drink stop which was at the top of a hill in a dead-end street – the un-trusting pressed on. Some short-cutters became “long-walkers” on the home stretch.
Couldn’t find Tackle for a while – no one checked the bulldozer on the way back! Tackle called for a run report from V.D. who didn’t make trail at all – She gave Crunchy a 10/10 to the uproar of the circle, then reduced it to 3/10 because we hadn’t tried Nosh yet. Seriously, it was a good run, well marked, good drink stop – good job for a first time Hare!
Charges from the run went to Basil Thrush for confusing Weed for Nom De Plume (it was getting dark!!), Betty Boop charged half the pack with refusing to climb the hill to the drink stop, but settled for Donna who transferred the charge to Tanx, Wait-a-While, who sent the GM up a dead end street, Supa charged Knee trembler for asking directions from Bouncer and Spock and Animal copped one for the longest short cut in Hash history.
Returnees were Nogat, V.D., and Pull Through.
Absentees Maid Marian’s got the Prick & Gwendaloo the Girlie Shorts, but the Double Donger went to Carnt, just because he said you can’t give that to me.
A late charge went to Weed for an outdated website, raffles went to Pull through and Knee Trembler.
Good run, good nosh, good night!
On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A.

Twisted’s Fading Fish Hooks
It probably would have been alright – if it wasn’t for the brief shower of rain just before we started on Twisted’s trail. Her chalk marks were barely visible in the fading light, and it only got worse from there. Everyone lost trail at the 5-ways so we all headed “On Keg”. Twisted was stuck solo at her drink stop while the pack was having fun and lubricating.
Tackle called the circle to order and the run report wasn’t complimentary – no drink stop, no marks and Twisted took her down down.
In her run briefing, Twisted said she’d introduced “fish hooks” markings along the trail meant the front of the pack had to go to the back, or vice-versa, or something else entirely different!! It used to work on the Isle Of Man – might have worked for Twisted, but the rain put paid to her fish hooks – only one was sighted and Bouncer was charged for ingoring it. Two Tit Fruitti then refused to sprint to the front of the pack and Basil Thrush’s charge was reversed and all three took a down down.
Visitors and returnees included patron Sir Meatballs, Animal, No Knickers, Not Yet, Power Pole, Screw and Maid Marian.
Nogat’s loving care of the Prick Of The Week was gratefully received by Maid Marian – can’t remember why – something about being a Harriette. Screw’s new shoes made a tasty beer mug. A late charge by Sodonme went against Far Canal for bringing Wishbone. Raffles went to Sir Meatballs and Knee Trembler

Run 1600 WILL be held at Palm Cove on Saturday 29th September whether you like it or not. We’ll take over the camp ground and have a bloody good time!!! …Might even run too!
Nice Nosh for the early birds, and a good night.
Basil Thrush E.& O.A

Run 1607 or 06

Tanx Terse Trail
The biggest challenge with Tanx runs is first finding his place. The successful navigators headed off on a clearly marked (spray can) trail alongside the creeks and picturesque parks of the backblocks of Bentley Park. It seemed no time and we arrived at the drink stop, then on home – 40 minutes!!!!!
In the circle, Tanx trail was praised by Crunchy Crack as being short, sweet, well marked, very good!
Returnees were Phukit, VD, Kotex joined by visitors Captain Pugwash and Sticky Date. Virgin runner was Donna.
Phukit got a second down down, it being his 300th run. Phukit also copped a charge for wearing Coco the clown’s shorts and socks.
Nogat charged with talking all night at the Nash hash meeting, Mole for having the wrong Harriettes address on the website, and Tanx for having no taillights on the drink-stop wagon.
Mole and an un-named male hasher were charged with being Internet tarts and having their picture on Saigon Hash site. Examination of the photo found a look-alike Captain Pugwash in the background so he was duly ordered to take a down-down too.
SupaStalk then spoke of a secret conspiracy afoot, and brought it to everyone’s attention that one-third of the present Hashers were wearing red shirts. All of the Red Shirters were female…..except Wait-A-While – yep, you guessed it!
Tutti & Nogat were charged with having a private meeting at Nash Hash, Kotex’s mobile phone went off, Betty Boop had the hysterics most of the circle, and Bouncer copped a charge for refusing to go to the Hariettes run because it was her birthday. Down-downs all round!
Phukit gave careful consideration about awarding the Prick Of The Week finally selecting Nogat for self-inflicted pain to get out of the run. Wait-A-While sped up awarding the double-donger. Mole copped it for roaring past Wait-A-While who was lost, and failed to help him find Tanx place. (Wait-A-While arrived long after the run started – he had to wait a while for the Hashers to return).
The raffles were a family affair – Mr. Spock and Bouncer took the wines.
Tutti asked all to note September 30th as a anti cancer run on the Esplanade – a successor to Rosie’s Run. All Cairns and Trinity Hashers to register and roll up in Hash Haberdash.
Nosh was tasty chook and chips with salad on the side. Top night and very funny.
On On
Basil Thrush E.& O.E.

Run 1606

Chopper’s Champion Keg
What a night! How do you top that? Topless bar girls, keg on tap, delicious pre-nosh nibblies of chicken wings, dim sims and salad, absolutely top nosh after the rowdy circle and there was a run too!
A big roll-up of more than 30 regular Hashers, visitors, returnees and virgins took to the road from Chopper’s and immediately got lost! Trail was soon found and from then on- it was pretty good going. Tasty drink stop and On Keg.
Pre-Nosh goodies were already served when the pack returned, and we all pigged out. Then the topless bar-girls arrived and the conversations became tittilating.

In the circle, Sodonme’s run report was brief and Chopper had assistance with his down down (see pic). Charges went to Betty Boop for thinking bird-shit was a run mark, Chopper for forgetting his stereo system needed an I-pod (Jenko was substituted for Chopper), Knee Trembler for competing in the Sydney-Surf and not getting on the telly, Pro for repelling a dog attack with the animal then attacking another Hasher (dog has good taste).
Virgin was Joe from US Navy, returnees were Dead Ringer, Far Canal, General, Sodonme, Weed and Mole. Visitors were too numerous to mention. Chopper produced stocks from somewhere(What else does he keep at that house?) and miscreants were stocked and forced to drink beer with hilarious results.

Wait A While was deciding to whom to give the double donger when GM Tackle decided we’d all waited long enough and made him keep it for another week. Betty Boop brought out her tiny Prick Of The Week and frightened the cat. Chopper charged a pull-through look-alike with failing to clean his garage floor properly (another in the stocks)
Tackle brought out a colourful(?) hat (Believed souvenired from PanAsia Hash)which will become the Cairns Hash apparel and must be worn by its awardee during and after the run. Raffles went to Crunchy Crack.
A lavish nosh followed – plenty of it and great variety. (Tanx felt decidedly nervous about his upcoming Hare duties)
On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A.

Run 1605
Tackle’s Tour of Mooroobool’s Drains
We set out from Tackle’s place heading right, before Tanx and Superstalk lost trail in 40 metres, but we soon picked it up. Check points at every intersection kept the runners and walkers together until Prostitute solicited (as Pro is wont to do) some local ATSI lads on bikes to search for arrows. We were soon back on a fast trail with the lads getting well ahead on their bikes and giving us the “On On”. Soon we were off the roads and along the drains until the drink stop (at least we all found the drink stop this week!!!!)

Back at Tackle’s we tucked into a big pot of “little boys”. Knee Trembler as acting GM called for some order. Tackle was disentangled from the barbecue long enough to get a run report from Tanx who was quite complimentary awarding a high 1.5 out of 10.

Charges came from Twisted Sister who accused Pro of soliciting on the run and Nogat with attempted abduction of two little ATSI kids who were afraid of being
“kidnapped”. (They were obviously deceived by the grandfather-like image). Supa charged Basil Thrush with taking the longest short cut in history. Wait-a-While copped a birthday charge while Pro charged Two Tit Fruitti with taking his $50 note and disappearing into the night. Down downs all round.

Returnees were Spinifex, Bobcat and Deep Throat.

The Prick Of The Week has shrunk considerably in Betty Boop’s care – cause for puzzlement! Phukit has the real Prick.

No Girlie Shorts (with Gwendaloo I think). The Double Donger was awarded with due ceremony to Wait-A-While for making $990 last Monday evening while the rest of us were toiling through Pro’s Gordonvale marathon. He got the biggest laugh of the night when he forgot which hand had the down down.

Raffles went to Deep Throat and Pro. A top barbecue nosh wrapped up an excellent Hash night.

On On,

Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1604
Dunno what happened last time - but here they are again!!!

Notes 300707
Pro’s Marathon March
A hardy bunch of 13 thrill-seekers assembled in the shadow of the Gordonvale water tower and the smell of the mill for Hare Pro’s run. We set off and
descended along the river, around mud-puddles, through an unsuspecting farmer’s yard (listening for the opening of windows and cocking of shotguns!!),
along cane paddocks before re-entering suburbia. Can’t complain about the marks – there were plenty of them! But in keeping with Pro’s tradition – the run
was l o n g . Only 3 made it to the drink stop – that’s a lot of drink!

Back home and most – short-cutters and all- arrived back about 7.15.

Super Stalk’s run report was complimentary although he expressed disappointment that the drink stop wasn’t at the Mountain View Hotel. He praised the
inclusion of the “Spock Satellite” as part of the run. Spock & Bouncer personally launched this satellite from their City View backyard. The run was
temporarily halted while we all stargazed at the little white light passing overhead while Spock regaled all with his tall tales and true.

Supa gave the run a 2 which was upped to 2.5 by popular consensus. However, Pro must get the odometer on his 4WD checked as it is under-reading by at
least 50%. (“It’s only 3 kilometres back to the keg”, he said – the mill’s chimney was barely visible in the distance!!!!)

Charges went to TwoTit Fruitti and Bouncer who were enticed into a big 4WD by the offer of jelly babies and got a free ride to the keg. Supa charged
Wait-A-While for demanding last week for car-pooling to Gordonvale then not turning up – Wait-A-While was absent so a look-alike Tanx copped the down
down. Wait-a-While was charged again with failing to contact fellow hashers for transport and look-alike Pullthrough copped a down-down. GM Tackle then
revealed that Wait-A-While had called him for a lift but there was no room in the ute – Nogat took that charge for Wait-A-While!

The double-donger was awarded by Nom De Plume to Pro for setting such a huge run. Pullthrough was charged with losing the Prick Of The Week cap –
Nogat was the last living (?) person to see the cap.

A charge of low profiling went to Crunchy Crack from Two Tit Fruitti, and McTaf announced it was going to be his last CHHH run for 5 months and it was also
the penultimate run for Rollover.

Celebration Run 1600 will be at Palm Cove in September – we’ve commandeered the camp ground, the life saver’s rooms and the tavern. Don’t ask for a
date yet – it could be for the whole month!!!!!!
Raffles went to Tanx and Basil Thrush.

A mountain of pizzas was hungrily devoured as the night chill descended.

On On

Basil Thrush E&OA

Run number either 1605 or 1603, (depends on who you want to believe)
Notes 230707
Gwendaloo’s Challenges

Challenge 1: Find Gwendaloo’s place – 19 doesn’t exist on McFarlane Drive.
Challenge 2: Finding the trail (allegedly set by rollover on Sunday using waterproof chalk).
Challenge 3: Finding the drink stop.
Challenge 4: Convincing Rollover that chalk is NOT expensive!

The intrepid bunch headed off along McFarlane Drive to its end where arrows pointed up the hill. Two more arrows over the 2 kilometre climb and we came to a circle saying false trail and an arrow pointing downhill. Below it was painted “ur silly c--ts” Even hardened Hashers thought that was a bit much!

Now you wouldn’t set a 2 km false trail would you??????? Oh yes, you would!!!
The disbelieving Hashers meandered aimlessly about the top of the hill searching vainly for a trail- an arrow- a drink stop - anything!!!
Finally in frustration we headed back to the keg – GM Tackle left waiting vainly at the drink stop.
In the circle no run report was called for and Rollover and Gwendaloo took their down-downs.
Charges from the run were plentiful. Weed queried whether Rollover knew the meaning of the word “abundance” when she described the arrows in her briefing.
Super Stalk charged Rollover with Hash creativity in her false trail circle. Twisted charged the Hare as it’s the fifth time a drink stop has been missed. Chopper charged VD for asking him to check out a dog on the run.
G wendaloo was again charged with no hash attire (even though she was given some weeks ago). VD charged Chopper and Knee Trembler for keeping an eye out for a dog.

Returnees were Ring Picker, Prik Dokta, V.D., Chopper, Fiddler, Carnt, That Much, Wrong Way and Nogat. That didn’t leave many to sign the down down song!

Weed called a general meeting to order to vote on making CHHH a body under rule 6.- Carried unanimously.
Raffles went to Nogat and Fiddler. Ringpicker then led the pre-nosh hymn.
Nosh was superb – 10 out of 10.
On On,
Basil Thrush.

Run 1604
Phuket’s Run - Trinity Beach ( not at Kewarra Beach !!)

Run Nr. 1602, 16th July 07
Welcome to the “Alzheimer Hash”

Instead of having a good time with my double donger (softened for me by Twisted Sister as I remember him/it being stiffer) I am hard pressed to find words of gratitude, for being allowed to write the notes that our Basil Trush is obviously not capable of doing (advanced to “chief announcer”)

The run went past the drink stop to the keg. (Nothing unusual about that)…
Run review by Mc Taf – mind you he and Betty Boob did not arrive at Phuket’s place until about 6.20 pm and so neither of them actually went on the run ! He did mention that the run must have been set by a drunken sailor as the arrows were at alternate sides of the road.

Unfortunately, being a part of the geriatric HHH (Mc Taf refers to it as Alzheimer Club) I took mental notes …. and now I can’t find them

I only remember, that

Gwendaloo had several down down’s for frivolous charges
- “Warte – noch – ein - Weilchen” and Phukit thought they looked good in white shorts (in Wintertime) and got dually charged
Super Schtorch was thrilled to receive the Girlie shorts
the black prick was handed to Phukit mainly because of his “drunken “ run marking
- seldom seen SODOMY made a miraculous appearance, so did My-shit (Mashit ed notes)
visiting virgin David a student from Germany seemed most bewildered with all the nonsense (no wonder)

Raffle: Weed scored a bottle of red (actually undeserved after challenging me several times) and the second bottle of plonk hit Super Schtorch

Weed (again) reminded us that a short meeting will be held next Monday regarding our status as an Inc. Group.

Nosh was plentiful and tasty - thanks to Handbrake

Having stretched my writing ability to the limit, you will be kind enough not to nominate me ever again


Nom de Plume