Great fun was had being shat on from the tree-tops by Hash-eagles. Even though two  Hashers were absent because of Hash-throat, [a condition well known in Hash circles due to not taking the tops off beer bottles before imbibing], a couple of dozen Hashers turned up at WAIT-A-WHILE’s place.  The scribe is a lot confused as there were several simultaneous meetings going on the floor at the same time, with most transgressors, mainly the Harriettes, claiming privilege to ignore the GM who was mostly trying to shit on them from great heights while monotonously shouting something that sounded like, “HASHQUIET!!!”. Don’t know what it means, it didn’t seem to have any effect. The scribe also didn’t have a pencil. Someone said it was a good run and that he enjoyed the drink-stop halfway as he was trying to give up drinking at any rate, and gave it a 10/10, or was it a 3½/10? Hard to hear with the noise. Even the raffle was run during a HASHQUIET!!!, with someone winning the wine again.  Someone was charged for not telling someone that the only rule at Hash was that there were no rules. Couldn’t hear the punch line but it was full-filling as was the response when we took it all in.  Pommies were charged for complaining in the best pommy manner that “We can’t keep up”. Someone was charged for being late for Hash again.  We were privileged in having our RA with us for the evening instead of being on his usual media tart run. Doyens of industry are hard to come by. Some Harriettes said that a good man is hard to find. Others said that a hard man is good to find. I’m confused.  We were also privileged to see the three most handsome Hashers gathered in the same place during the downers.
WAIT a WHILES’s soup was licked clean, as was the bread and rice. You could tell it was a good meeting as no-one wanted to go home, and we sat around listening to the usual Hash-stories, mostly bragging about past runs and glories.   

49ER set the run and gave the instructions on how to follow the run and dozens of eager Hashers were off. About a quarter of them took a short cut and were home and had eaten most of the nibbles before the main actors turned up. Another <Hashquiet> circle and we were all allowed to sit down because PRO wasn’t present, although KNEETREMBLER did a PRO look-alike and sat well out of the circle. MASTERBATES was late and missed the run, but gave it a 33, the same as the day’s temperature. SUPERSTALK gave it a 3, and said it was well marked, but took 21 off because 8 people were stung by bities leaving 15/12.  Visitors were MASTERBATES, PYTHAGORARSE, HELMET and PRICKLE. MASTERBATES and PYTHAGORARSE were charged because both of them were present and who was looking after the weather while they were at Hash? 49ER for organising kids to throw rocks at a wasp’s nest so that 8 Hashers got stung as they ran past. These 8 were very brave and didn’t complain and didn’t ask for first aid at the drink stop. Maybe the single malt whiskey was enough. RETARD for impersonating rain along the trail. KNEETREMBLER for being a PRO look-alike and did we really want 2 of them?. SPREADEM and NOT YET for something or other. PYTHAGORARSE for making  MASTERBATES work until 7pm on a Hash night. 49ER was howled down when she revealed that the run was marked with MOANA and that some Hashers went down the Trinity leg of the run, and had her charge reversed. The cl/sh/it song was howled down by all the Harriettes and Retard actually blushed because he at last realised what it was all about. KOTY for spending Xmas in front of the TV stroking a pussy. HELMET for turning up in a convertible, but he deflected it to the registered owner, PRICKLE. DANCING QUEEN tried to give away a Hash shirt but finished up keeping it because she didn’t wear it on the run. BOUNCER and TUTTI FRUTTI for being chatterboxes.
ROYAL T chose the mystery raffle prize instead of the wine and got a large bag of shredded paper, a valuable resource with the rain closing in, while DQ and KOTY took the wine.
LOSTI’s run on NYE will start at the Barrier Reef Hotel at 6pm, and we are to text him for the following watering holes.  

Well it was a balmy evening in Lavender Street, Mooroobool when the group of Hashers set off running/walking up and down streets, in and out of drains……you know, the usual hazards of the constant hasher!       Unfortunately this scribe arrived a little late, did not have pen or paper to record the comments but feel that some mention should be made about the Hole-i-ness of the Circle.

Our drinkmaster moved the table of charge drinks out into the back yard because it was a little cooler in the night air out there, but lo!.......Kotex discovered, very nearly to her detriment, a large hole in the middle of the Circle that was very neatly concealed by long grass.   As each transgressor was called out for a ‘down, down’ they had to adroitly avoid falling into said hole and so many calls of , “I’ll have to sue for damages.” And “Mind the hole” were to be heard until someone enquired from our fellow hashing law person, “What could we do?”  to which he replied that perhaps a class action would be the way to go.   Well, we all know there is no class in hash, and our Hare advised that she would not be held responsible for any injuries as she warned everyone to be careful………..and indeed Not Yet raced over and grabbed a few coconuts from a nearby tree to fill in the hole, and so the laughter continued.   Nosh was lashings of ham and salad with Christmas cake to follow and it was On, On wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and reminding that the next run was at Royal T’s palace on the Esplanade.    

The usual cast of dozens gathered at 31 Southern Street for Spock’s run and Bouncer’s food Another <Hasquiet> evening when everyone decided to have their own meetings on the side. Molè alternated with ᴙetard’s whistle to keepus quiet, but it didn’t help. I haven’t had so much fun since Uncle Fred fell down the well. After the usual caterwauling, we set off down the drive, and milled around until some runner showed us the way. We wised up after a while and waited for Spock to show us the way with raised eyebrows and secret hand signals and the like, wot they use on Vulcan apparently.
A great run irrespective of what the rude buggers said; up and down hills, shiggy, dams, earthworks, bush, and steep hills. We left our fingerprints etched into the trees on the way down the bank. He misjudged the flash flooding, however, so we didn’t get our feet wet. Spock made the mistake of warning us about the dodgy bridge timbers on the trail, so all the Hashers along with Koty went that way. It was only the un-Hash-like efforts of Slag and  Royal T that kept her firmly on the rails. The run received high marks from the scorers, probably just so they could wheedle an extra helping of nosh from Bouncer.
It was good to see a few returnees in Chopper, who used the excuse of not being able to drink on the job in Nigeria to explain why he looked so fit and healthy;  Big Baz, who pretended to have a limp and so couldn’t run; and Swampy, who gave us tales of the wild from Africa, with lionesses coughing and leopards strolling through just outside the tent.
The RA was in full regalia and in full fright when he named Loren and Michelle. They went into shock but recovered when they learnt that they could shorten the names to Bendy and Pokey.
Kegmaster ᴙetard excelled again with old songs that nobody knew. Those Harriettes who didn’t swoon were seen to buckle at the knees when they were afforded a rare view of prime manhood when all the grey beards were called out in front for a down-down. Defeatus was caught up in the moment and offered to strip but had no takers.
The Hare-raiser’s board needs offers for the 5th and 12th of January, otherwise we are all in Hashers’ Heaven at Cairns HHH.   

Dozens of <Hashquiet> Hashers gathered at a park in McManus Street for a <Hashquiet> meeting for Legless’ run. 49er was the Legless lookalike to describe the run and we Hashers may not be the brightest but even we didn’t believe that the run was marked with rubbish and old car tyres and dead cats and stuff. <Hashquiet>
Pro set the mood by pronouncing that run No. 2015 would be in 2015, and it all continued downhill after that with his description of his mythical run .  <Hashquiet. Something about dangerous swamps, Jim Beam, all up hill, Mole attacked by a dog, all unbelievable but a generous 1.3275/10 score. Fiddler followed for the walkers and spoke of cement, short cuts, cement, jumped fence, cement, tame, cement, and caused howls with a 5/10. <Hashquiet> there were no virgins left, and Michelle and Loren were returnees.

Both Not Yet and McShit were charged for being gentlemen and un-hashmanlike by helping  Harriettes over a fence and offering a hand up a hill.
Royal T with his inimitable shufflewas charged for trying to run past Pro  .
49er for also trying to compete with Pro on the walk but losing when she tried to jump a fence.
The RA Superstalk for failing to notice Retard’s new shoes on 4 different runs.
Royal T for yelling out Royal T instead of 49er on the run. He said he had trouble telling them apart sometimes.
No Knickers for repeatedly being told the first rule in Hash was that there was no rule in hash when she went on about something or other.
Fiddler for getting wet between the legs when she was sitting at the table.
Shelley for declaring her love of Royal T, but it turned out he is her uncle.
Manu Manu was a late returnee and had to down-down to the Shit-on-yer-song. Choirmaster Retard loves all the old songs as well as the favourites.
<Hashquiet> Dancing Queen and Michelle had to front for continuously , or was it continually, talking in the circle. Some observant Hasher yelled out that Michelle could be our next tittygirl.
In the Harriettes announcements 49er gave us a conundrum – apparrently  Harriettes love to bounce balls but no ball-wearers are allowed at their runs.
TeePee won theRun-of-the-month and looked great in the pixie hat and vest.
Legless put on the vegetarian food, and apparently chooks are vegetation the same as cows.

The keen hashers arrived at “Serpents Hostel” (backpackers) at the north end of Lake Street  and were told to order our meal from the quite comprehensive main menu. The hare gave instruction that the run started across the road (for reasons he couldn’t explain) and was marked with floured arrows!    Off we trooped and must say that the trail was very well marked going north across the field next to the tennis courts and then  over the highway to enter the back roads of North Cairns – or as Super said in his run report “About 5 blocks west, 10 blocks south, 5 blocks east and then on home for 10 blocks”.
We all gathered at the covered concrete block near the tennis courts, much to the annoyance of the usual inhabitants who shouted comments from the dark park across the road.  The Hare provided a very nice cheese fondue with dipping bread on forks, and a dip and biscuits and then the circle began.

Returnees and visitors:    Royal T and 49er back from France, Boon from Tvle/Mackay
And can’t remember who else!

Run reports:   well you’ve already read Super Stalk’s but Defoetis had to be called out to give his version as he had arrived late and had to search around for the pack.  Can’t recall who gave the walker’s report, but I know we all quite enjoyed the walk.

Several hashers were called out for arriving late, Wait-a-while for continually talking in the circle and being late, a few miscreants for not actually wearing their 2000 Run yellow shirts – with protests from Tutti as she did have hers ready to don on entry to the dinner, as instructed in the pre-notes, however, as usual, she was completely ignored.    Spreadem offered a joke but could hardly get to the punch line for laughing herself and it was such a weak joke that we all had a laugh……something about Bach I believe!

Our GM reminded people to advise Hash Cash if they are attending the Christmas ‘do’ on the 5th December, mainly for catering purposes.   We all then adjourned back to the Hostel for a drink and a meal………..some who had ordered the more exotic dishes had to wait a lot longer for their dinner but overall it was very good.  Prickle Magnet and Helmet received recognition for their 200th run, which was achieved recently.

On, on to Farcanel’s run at our favourite Greenslopes address next Monday.
Cheers,  Tutti

There were, of course, … many more charges and the raffles were won by those slimey bastards Gav and Pythagorarse… eventually nosh was called and despite  a threat of carrot fritters, Legless provided an excellent repast of Curried Nanagui (Thanks Slag) and funky rice. The pack filtered off. … another excellent hash night…and thanks to the Hash Gods for  top run, great venue and good hash company.

On On Pythagorarse

A huge crowd of Hashers and onlookers gathered at FIDDLER’s Beach-house for Run 1991, [spelt backwards 1991], and proceeded to have the usual ribald fun interspersed with downright unfunny insults. DUNNO gave his usual encouraging diatribe against the Hare’s run for a 2/10, while GRADUATE supported her fellow Harriette for a 6/10. The scribe is related to the Hare, but I thought it was a brilliant run, as she managed to lose all the Runners at the same time, no mean feat. The drink stop was to dream for, but the On-Home run along the beach was cancelled mainly because the sand was covered by high tide. 
Visitor MISSING LINK made up for the lack of virgins, and the Returnees were FIDDLER and SUPER STORK, who apparently returns every week. NOMI was charged for walking 2 steps into the scrub before shrieking, retreating back to the bitumen, and short-cutting home. Half the Hashers were charged for something or other, with KOTY, 49ER, GRADUATE, NOMI, SLAG all in a line, and ЯETARD while leading into the Shit-on-ya ballad, got wet with over-shoulder beer, and had a hissy-fit when his sanitised mugs were not returned to the wash bucket. FIDDLER was charged for wearing DANCING QUEEN’s tight tights, however, she said they are all the rage in Paris this year. NOMI was charged for collecting TUTTI FRUTTI with one of her sweeping Swiss gestures. KOTY for why did she ever need to eat oysters. Another set had GOV, SPREADUM, FIDDLER, TUTTI, NOMI, and DANCING QUEEN all in a row, resulting in DQ throwing her unfinished beer over GOV for a change. ЯETARD had another hissy fit and gave an unwashed glass to NOMI. PRO for wearing grey coloured underpants that are the same colour as his exposed rear when he insists on changing clothes in front of us all; lucky we are used to it; he didn’t want to show his appendage when politely requested though. KNEE TREMBLER won the Run-of-the-Month by a standing ovation and ЯETARD received a kcuF-ouY song for his birthday.
The GRAND MATTRESS wants more trail markings so we don’t lost the runners in future.  ЯETARD did some promotion for the Run of the Year being run by himself next week. SUPER STORK was at his entertaining best in his RA role and named Alan who does some creative accounting for his mate KNEE TREMBLER. Apparently the new bathroom, the Philippines trips, and the Viagra are all tax deductable and all written off. So “WRITE OFF” it is. ROYAL T is in line for Scribe of the Year for volunteering to take the notes twice, which never happens, but lost votes with his joke. SLAG and SPREADUM told Kiwi racist jokes, one ordering Fush und Chups in a hardware store, and the other singing I’ll never find another ewe.
FIDDLER’s nosh was great as usual, and surprised us all with tipsy trifle. We all had a good time but went home.

The usual merry band of Hashers gathered at KNEE TREMBLER’S place for the 1990 run of fun and insults. The Grand Mattress tried to control the group with a Hashquiet, but lost it when ᴚETARD produced a new noisemaker, a triangle, which when invited to shove it up his elemental orifice wouldn’t go past the first bend. In the circle, NOT YET gave the walk a 5/10.  PRO was more vocal and gave it a 2.5 out of 3.75, and led us into a long rambling description of TP doing a NOMI along the track, but he did give her a 3 for it.

The Hare KNEE TREMBLER did a sterling job downing the urinal jug full of beer, as did the returnees SUPER STORK, FARKINELL, and ALAN THE VIRGIN, unrecognisable with his trimmed beard. ᴚETARD has conducted a world-wide search for new rude songs which has lost nothing in the translation from Finnish or whatever. GOV did an excellent job as a look-a-like when SPREADEM was charged for rolling up her rude shit-shirt so no one could see it on the run. TUTTI FRUTTI was charged for crossing the road against a red light. ROYAL T for leaving his raffle prize of a bottle of wine at the last venue.[He found out when he couldn’t find it for his corn flakes in the morning]. KOTY for something about a dog again. MOLE” charged ᴚETARD for being late back with the keys of the keg, even though NOT YET carried and pushed him to get back in time. SYMTHE for calling NOT ON, even though there were 14 arrows on trail, including 3 up a pole. PRO seems to have a problem with public urination and brought up about TEE PEE doing her bit again!!! What’s that all about???. DANCING QUEEN complained about KNEE TREMBLER not providing a male stripper in police uniform like last time. PRO said a youngish lady was disgusted when he changed into Hash clothes on the footpath outside, but he then charged TEE PEE for having a look. What is that about??? . “Who farted?” said KOTY about now, confusing it with a Hashquiet.

 MOLE” wondered how TUTTI FRUTTI always seemed to be the front runner while others did the work finding the trail.  SPREADUM complained about not enough potato chips. [scribe notes indecipherable here but all too long at any rate as all scribed during the night, and it is now time for my morning ride in the dark, [on my bike]. LEGLESS congratulated us for not charging her at last, so she was given the shit-shirt to keep her happy. NOMI provided us with a new TITTI, and awarded it to Pro because he wore the last one out, as evidenced by him standing there squeezing the hell out of the new one in front of us all. ᴚETARD gave us the Roll back your foreskins song for the last DownDown of the night, but 49er said they would have trouble as they were all circumcised at any rate.

The food was excellent again. Hashers know how to cook, or their wives do.
On on Royal T

About 15 hashers gathered at Dancing Queen’s place (or is that palace) of residence and then set off up the hill and over the grassy knoll, then is was down, down, down the pathway.  This scribe cannot describe the rest of the run because 49er and myself decided to shortcut a little – oh, what a sin!   However other participants stated ‘lost the trail’,  ‘no markings’, etc.  Well, DQ said, “I did not set the run so can’t comment or be blamed for that.”    Evidently Kneetrembler had set the run the day before and did not turn up to actually run the trail – smart lad in this case!  Of course, Pro (who turned up late as usual) stated that there obviously wasn’t trail markings as he couldn’t find them or any of the rest of the pack…….amazing!

Visitors:  Lotus
Returnees:  Tackle, Mole and Tutti
Charges came thick and fast – to DQ for letting her ‘puss’ run wild (wot the!).   Slag charged Kotex for winning all the prizes at the recent fishing comp…….even though her only fish caught was a minnow!  Spreadem was charged for employing Guv – pictured on facebook.  Some kiwis (invaders from across the ditch) were charged with something to do with netball!   Nommy was charged for her celery costume at Retards party, TP for being such a cute looking sailor-girl and Retard for his birthday – when the candles on the cake were lit up we nearly had to call the firebrigade!!!!
Graduate and Royal T were the ‘low profile’ charges.

Raffles were won by Royal T, DeepThroat, Lotus and Retard.
As you can see most of the charges had something to do with Retard’s birthday party, which was a lot of fun, if a bit previous as he really doesn’t turn 60 until the 30th!....that’s hashers for you!

On, on to Tackles next Monday…………cheers,  Tutti

Helmet acting GM.
Reports: Runners 6/10. Walkers 4/10.  Points off as marks were not under street lights and the drink stop announcement “that’s all you bastards are gunna get”
Returnees: Deep Throat, Metro
Charges: Kotex for collecting garden ornaments, herpes, wheelbarrows and large green clamshells. Groper for trianing his canine friend to attack special people. Teepee, Nom de Plume, Graduate for creative hashing aka short cutting. Helmet for showing his jukebox not his nuts? Dancing Queen for non- athletics, applying nail polish is not creative hashing.
All orange shirts for too much orangness and a little too many lemons. Kotex again for collecting dead carcasses (shells) Nom de Plume for having a damp patch and wasting valuable alcoholic beverages all over her shirt.
Announcements: Cairns Amatuers Cup, September 13th meet 12:00 noon at front gates. Bring picnic and chair if you want.
Nosh: Fantastic roast and creamy pumpkin mash. 

It was a cold dark afternoon as a small number of Hashers met for Nom de Plume’s run at Samuel Christensen Park, the run was well set out and exceptionally well-marked.  Trail meandered around Brinsmead, as we went a little bit in one direction and then a little bit in the other direction, along a drain and up and down a hill before heading home.    

Spreadem, Dancing Queen and a certain hasher who shall remain nameless were charged for not completing the run, a number of orange people were charged… unsure who they were as they all looked the same and Spreadem showed her courage and determination by accepting the award  of Hash wanker.. right of Defeotus' back.

Lovely nosh and a show (strip tease by Retard ) made it an enjoyable night.

With quite a few runners away at Inter Hash our ranks were somewhat depleted for Graduate’s run, at a new venue, Oyster Court in Trinity Beach.
Off round the suburb we went, the trail was marked in blue and pink chalk and little bits of purple crepe paper!!  Makes a change from boring white chalk and white shredded paper but a little more difficult to see on a dark night!
A welcome drink stop appeared out of the darkness and then the walkers missed trail having come past a huge house which looked like a very nice hash venue!!  Don’t think the owners would think that way though!!  Us walkers wandered around the parkland and then opted to walk back along the road.  We met Pro for the second time, who then went running into the darkness apparently to meet up with Legless for a romp on the beach – or something!!
Back at the circle and returnee Groper and visitor Deep Throat were welcomed. 
A run report was given but as the walkers lost trail the GM decreed that we had not done the trail and therefore could not give a report – two reports from runners instead!
The hare was down-downed, charges were laid including a charge for Layback who tried to headbutt Retard's car. The wan… shirt was awarded to Retard for some reason or other and the raffle was won.
Fabulous nosh!
On on
MOFL

As some of our loyal hashers are away NashHashing at the moment, it was a smaller than usual, but keen, group who turned up for Chopper’s run.  
As he had only just arrived back Royal T set the run on “shredded paper and chalk”.  All went well until the pack arrived at a short but steep creek crossing which foiled one of the older harriettes for a while but never fear, the gallant Helmet and Rubber Dick bravely assisted her across.
The pack meandered across grassy fields, out onto streets. Past Super Stork’s house where they were accosted by an unknown hasher/neighbour telling the walkers to start running or else……….!
Down the dreaded steep grassy hill we carefully walked and along the very dark footpaths…………..not a lot of lighting in Freshwater……….and finally on home.     An uneventful walk but good company.

Of course, as usual at a Chopper run, there were special girls serving the drinks, and of course several of Chopper’s pals from the army made up a rowdy circle that Defeotus had trouble controlling.    Of course we welcomed returning hashers, Chopper, Legless and few others whose names escape me, but it was lovely to see our Nommy safely back from her travels.  A couple of awards were handed out…Prickle gave the ‘titty’ to Rubber Dick and Swampy awarded the large rubber prick to Defeotus…..just because!   We all enjoyed the tasty nosh, even without the BBQ, there was plenty to eat, and it’s On On to next week’s run at Royal T’s abode on the Esplanade.

The GM was ecstatic, not one ....  not 2 .....  but THREE virgins all turned up for McTaf’s run from the old faithful BBQ area on Greenslopes Street.
“Don’t lose the Virgins” was the GM’s cry as pack took off down Greenslopes Street.  But it was more like don’t leave the runners behind as Kelly and her partner (whose name escapes me) took off running at a brisk pace.  Maggie, the other virgin opted to walk and was soon chatting with the other walkers.
Up and around the streets of Edge Hill we went, with the RA doing a reasonable job of keeping most of the rain at bay.  The walking pack dwindled as usual as some decided to make their own way back.  Trail was faithfully followed by five walkers who were surprised to find McTaf with a drink stop just a few metres to the end of the run!!
Back in the circle the virgins were duly down-downed.
Kelly & her partner (must ask his name) were charged for PDA
Pro was charged for impersonating a gentleman during the run on Easter Monday.
Yellow hash shirts were celebrated.
Returnees were returned and I am sure other charges were made

The t.t was passed on by 49er to Retard who had a lovely time with it.
BB forgot the bring the wa…r shirt so keeps it for another week

The raffle was drawn and won and lovely nosh devoured
On on to next week

A trek across the Himalayas??  No just a hash run in the great heights of Celerywood Close. In the drizzly rain we trekked up hills, great and small, including one that ended in a FT.  Some went the wrong way, some decided not to go at all and some eventually caught up with the rest at the welcome drink stop.
Pro was charged with not being satisfied with the length
The RA was charged for rain on trail but he denied all knowledge or responsibility.
DQ for causing Crunchy to fall down a hole which caused Crunchy to put a safety rock down the dangerous hole.
49er wanted to charge BB but could not remember what for!
Koty charged Twisty for finding there was too much length
Defeotus charged Rubber D and Twisty for PDAs but McTaf became a Twisty look-a-like
Teepee charged McTaf for being choir master and not knowing a hash tune
Nomi was charged for not “going” on trail
Fiddler & Crunchy for not doing the FT
Defeotus charged for colourful yarning on trail

Rubber D liked the talking stick (aka stolen Innisfail memorabilia) so much he kept it for another week.
Royal T forget to wear, adorn, write on or sweat on the W*an*er shirt so he has it for another week.

McTaf sang a hashy Birthday to Darwin Don & Dodo.

Great nosh in the verandah of a lovely house – thanks DQ, Koty and Tony (who owns the place)

These are the notes just as the scribe gave them to me - if you were there you will understand it all if you weren't you missed a great night!!
Visitors: Moose, Coh Man Goo - Fort Worth Texas - "sh**ty Trail - 4 1/2 - 2 1/2 Yehaw trail with a shitty song to go with it.
Charges: 49er for wearing her clothes back to front, BB for being a media whore and Moosey for being a media slut, InnOut for being a Big Girls Blouse, Retard for cumming late
Awards: Wanker Shirt from Teepee who made us choose between Helmet, KT, Royal T as a Pro look alike Royal T won.
T.t of the week to Mole for not being bovererd to cook but Nomy got it cos it is "orrible"
Donger to Retard who played all night with it
Texan received Anya German Tourist shorts and Moosey given Cairns memorabilia.
AGPU - Kneee Tremblers next Monday

There was no getting away from it....it was going to be a wet run and wet night...or was it? The R.A admitted he couldn’t make up his mind whether the weather should be wet or dry or should it just be dense with cloud or heavy with rain or no rain . Should the R.A keep it hot and sticky or sunny then damp.
What is a hare to do then? Should he use flour, chalk, toilet paper, gyprock, plasterpaste, surveyors tape. Should he preset the trail or live hare it or even bother?
In fact, dear hashers, all of the above. Not only was the R.A indecisive but so was the hare.
The pack left the weed and mole house and went up? Poolwood road. The pack somehow ended up on the beach and trailed through the crocodile infested estuary and crossed the knee-deep danger zone. Then trail wended through scrub but some of the pack came out at exactly where weed and moles house was so they went back to the keg. “we’re getting wet they cried from under their umbrellas so off they went on keg only to be found in the pool when the rest of the pack returned.
Sometime later after going through scrub, creek, drains, slop, wallaby poo, shiggy, soggy sand the pack returned on keg.
Charges; The R.A for being indecisive....Weed for following the RA`s lead
..............Weed for misuse of the Australian flag{especially as it’s so close to Australia day too}
...............Betty for getting make up in her eyes and making her cry.
...............Returnee Pendinger for scaring elegantly aging harriettes
...............Damien for being a virgin
................Teepee for doing some sort of crime and Losty for keeping a low profile. One would have thought T.P would have earnt that charge but noooo.
...............Swampy passed the TIT award to Phuket because the tit reminded swampy of a birthday cake with a wee candle on top. Phuket and Defeotus were sung a rowdy Hashy birfday tune. Pro passed the wanker shirt to Losty because he could.
It was wet and soggy and scribes notes got wet so that’s all there is except that as usual nosh was fab and pavlova birthday cake was delish... on on

The pack turned up to the first run of the year to Samuel Christiansen park in brinsmead where Nommy had cleverly arranged the first run of the year all the while travelling the alpy climes of switzerland.it was a top run as well . it earnt a score of 6/10.quite a score to top . so... the pack walked into Goomboora park and went off into the scrub. theres a great scrubby trail that runs by the creek which we went in. some of us all the way up to our bits..... Out of the park and into canefeilds and trailing around the fields and all the way around a headland.miles away into the canepaddocks and the backblocks beyond.the trail followed canelines and train lines until some of the pack went into the wild wilds of the really wild scrub. across more creek and finnally back to the park. the rain loomed but our R.A kept things at bay.
back at the on afters, there was a lovely ambience to the scene as nommy had lit candles and cut up fruit( not to put on the candles)....to eat.
Circle began and we welcomed Nommy back from climbing the climy slopes of switzerland. Pro was a returneeas was Masterbates , via Townsville.
CHARGES....Teepee and Betty charged Retard for leading them off trail and causing TeePee to suffer severly scraped underarms having to wade through the underarm high spear grass.bettys legs were all scratched too.
Teepee charged losty for giving her jolly new year greetings again after he had only seen her the day before.
Twisty charged Rubberdick for being a grumpy B#st#rd because he has given up smoking. We thought it was just because he was with Twisty.
Fiddler was charged with keeping a low profile. helmet charged someone for something and there was another charge somewhere.Teepee charged Losty for making her campervan smell really horrid by leaving his D.N.A smelling shirt in her mobile sink.Losty awarded himself the said smelly shirt being horrid to Teepee.
thats about all really,.. it was too dark to take notes so there is stufff left out i expect we think Kotex still has the double donger.and we will have to award the run of the month garment at next weeks run.ON ON

CAIRNS HASH AGPU AT KNEETREMBLERS
OR ....AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 FOODS - run 1801
An excited pack gathered at 325 McCoombe street A.K.A.TREMBLERS HOUSE OF MULTI CULTURAL CUISINE. The trail may have started in local Mooroolbool but it eventually diverted to many a varied country at the end. The run report may have been a "good but a bit short as far as running goes" according to Moneyshot. It was given a 2/10. Quite generous really but the pack were just eager to get back to the keg and begin enjoying the noshy delights. True, hash isn’t about the nosh but the AGPU night was. So there. The pack began their trail de cuisine in France and South America with stops on the way to Japan and Morocco. The gastronomic trail continued onto Jamaica via the Middle East and the Mediterranean. More nosh trail continued via the Tropical North ,travelling on through Australia with a pudding stop in Olde England.
As it happened there were still some virgins, visitors and returnees.
VIRGIN..... The young and lovely Blair
VISITORS...Matt from New York.
RETURNEES...Reverse Thrust from Noosa, nice to enjoy your company again. Our popular Goanna, tooty, kotex,twisty and concrete rod and our very welcome long lost ex GM Pennisimo and Fourtitsimo.
ANNIVERSARY RUN.....Lost and found has lost and found trail with cairns hash 100 times already.
Charges....Defeatus and Helmet both charged moneyshot for changing her name to Moneyslot for losing her job and having to perform lapdances for the very lucky Fetish. Pro to K.T for promising Korean strippers and failing to deliver. Helmet to Manu for failing to wear the garment of the month on the run. Concrete cock went to Defeatus because we could. Run of the month Garment went to Dancing Queen.. a very popular choice.
As far as the AGPU goes this is the end result.
GM....HELMET....
ASSIST.G.M....DEEFEETUS
R.A....SUPASTALK....
ASSIST.R.A AND CHOIRMASTER...MCTAF
ON SEX....CRUNCHY CRACK....
HASH SCRIBE....BETTYBOOP
HASH CASH....HANDBRAKE....
ASSIST CASH....TOOTY
KEG MASTER ....TACKLE....
ASSIST.KEG....WEED.
HABERDASH......PRICKLE
HARE.RAISER ....LOSTY
FOREIGN CORRESPONDANTS...BIG BAZZA, BASIL THRUSH,DO DO , PUSSY BOB,WRONG WAY,MANU,MANU.
WEB GURU.....MOFL.
HASH FLASH....MOLE AND NO NICKERS
And a fine commitee they are too.
on on Pussy bob.

Manu Manu's Earlville Escape - run 1794
No notes so far I am sure they will come - you never know.......
A small band of Hashers met in the salubrious surrounds of Lions Park - next to KFC at Earlville. They trudged the roads of Earlville and returned to a beautiful meal cooked by the lovely Toolbox. No Knickas had a great time on the swings, Manu wasted hash booze while Helmet was practising to be a D... H...

Hill.... what hill?? - run 1793
Not much in the way of notes this week, but that’s because it was decided that an average hash man only has a 7 day memory. That was downgraded to 4 days when it was confirmed that no one could remember where last Mondays run was. It was then remembered that Betty Boop and McTaff has the plates, knives and forks so we all agreed the average hashmans memory span is 5 days. It was also remembered that the run had bloody big hill, swampy bits and some cane farms and some creeks, no regroups or drink stop but it didn’t rain so that was a very big plus. Also the nosh wasn’t bad so that earned GCG a score of somewhere between 2 & 6. There were charges and some awards things. I think there was a visitor, Borealis, from India and that’s all this hash man can remember. It’s now 7 days since that event happened and this hashman’s memory doesn’t go that far. 
On On someone else with a better memory scribe 
OR
How the notes should read!!!
CUMMYS CARAVONICA CEMETARY CAVORT
Way up the giant Figtree drive hill the pack heaved only to be met by an even more giant driveway to get down to Cummys. Up we heaved again to start trail. Big Bazza was done just getting up and down the driveway. To the end of Figtree, down a secret slope (giant) to come out at the back of Caravonica state school. Twitterings of @ooh.. spiders ...ooh taipans...ooh my shoes are muddy....were heard. Into slop, shiggy rushing streams of slop and water the pack ploughed. Through scrub and ending up on Kamerunga road. Over the highway and straight up Redford road alongside canfields. The long slog continued to the other side of the canefarm and around down into the old Smithfield cemetery. A swing low was sung to show reverence and the pack trudged on. Meanwhile runners continued back into Caravonica and on into Illawarra street and around the traps and walkers trudged the short way but up the giant hill we all had to return. Visitor Borealis from Delhi hash was seen streaking ahead of nearly all the front runners even along Figtree. Did scribe mention it’s a giant hill?.....Anyway.....puffing and panting back we got to cummys and all fell in a heap. Bazza was still in a heap where we left him. 
RETURNEES..........C.B.F .,FETISH AND INNOUT ,TACKLE, CONCRETE ROD AND SPINNYFEX, were all down downed and BOREALIS was given a down down for visiting and showing us all up with his running prowess. Goanna thought the runn was a goodun but still scored the run a 2/10 Walkers liked the walk although there were concerns about leeches in the water. (They are called hashers dear reader) 
CHARGES.........strangely Cummy charged Pro with abusing (or using) the double donger. Tackle charged Cummy for upsetting a poor truck driver by not answering Lone Wolfs incesscent C.B radio calls. Innout was charged with lurking and fence crawling around Caravonica school. Cummy charged Deefeetus for not being at the run coz it was his own birthday so Fetish made an excellent stand in. Many awards were handed out. Cummy got the double donger. Losty got the soft cock award coz he was soft. Bazza gave the giant concrete cock to Handbrake for making him go all the way down the hill to give hash cash his money. Borealis took lots of photos and we all had a jolly good time. 
ON ON TOOTY FROOTY. 

OOPS LOOP DE LOOP - run 1792
The walkers went left down Woodward St and the runners went right. The trail diverged and they went their own merry way. The runners went up streets, round and looped here and there and found their way back onto Pease st. Continuing along to return to Woodward. In fact there were so many sneaky loops scribe has gotten confused. Gasping for a drink stop, none was found except trail through the cemetery and into a trail through the swamp, complete with lots of slop and shiggy. Having wet runners up Anderson st, onto Cannon st and the secret drink stop was revealed. A long slog back to chez Oops via more loops. Dancing Queen's run report gave 3/10. Knee Trembler thought it was the best set run he had been on for years! 6/10. High praise indeed. Oops downed her down down so fast she didn't realise it was beer.
Returnees: Goanna + Happy Feet welcomed back.
Visitors: Tuff Titties was amazed at how long our circle went for. 
Many charges followed but the scribe has blathered on too much for this typist to make out what she has written. If you were there then you know what happened!! Pro got the double donger. All Harriettes welcome to attend lunch at a venue TBA on Sat 12th Feb, time TBA. oN oN

Bumpa Stikhers Moowooga Madness - run 1791
An eager pack ventured to Moowooga Street which is set deep in the leafy suburb of Earlville. The trail began right into Moowooga and wound its way to the hidden pack that’s tucked in there. Over the park and onto a steep descent and down an embankment. So steep was this embankment spanning a fast flowing but shallow creek, Handbrakes legs were seen flapping wildly while Mctaf was dragging her up said embankment by her outstretched arms. Up a few more Harriettes were dragged until some spied the private bridge scanning the embankment at the back of someone’s property. With cries of Everybody over the bridge, the remainder trampled. Urged on by OOPS, the councillor to know all things councilly, the pack continued on through the huge hidden park until we came up and out onto Granadilla drive. This is where it all goes a bit wobbly as runners went left up Granadilla and walkers went right. WAIT ... NO... IT WAS THE OTHERWAY ROUND .Anyhoo.....the pack found their way to a large drain. Cummy and Defetus checked it all out and told us politely where to go. We did and it turned out to be a giant falsie or we did the trail back to front. Meanwhile Mctaf was directing traffic and the pack onto Henley street...how kind. Off we went and wended our way along Henley and onto Balaclava Road. Drink stop sign was sited but no drink stop thus far. Bumper finally appeared sans drink stop to actually drink as she left it at home. On the pack sweated back to the keg. Back at the keg the circle welcomed returnee Pullthru and a virgin who’s name escapes scribe at this juncture. Bumpa got a score (lucky thing) and the circle continued. Mctaf was charged for using the ruse of helping Harriettes up the embankment just for a cheap perve. True True said Mctaf. Mctaf charged Tooty for using his helping hand services to help straighten her back out. Handbrake charged Mctaf for giving her Orang-utan arms. Ooops was finally remembered as a returnee. More charges in there somewhere but important business to be done. Supa was charged with a renaming of Gay Cum Gargler but the pack unanimously voted to keep his very special and unique name. Lucky bugger. Another naming for a long lost returnee of the lovely Kelly offspring of the delightful Prickle and Helmet and Hat trick was decided. Something to do with a family threesome somewhere. Prickle gave the wet willy award to a very important person and dancing queen gave the giant willy award to another important person and that’s all scribe can remember.
TA TA for now, ..Xrated

 It was with anticipation the pack ventured up a wet and soggy Gillies Highway for the honour of enjoying the first Cairns Hash Run of the new decade. Proudly sponsored by Prostitute and long lost returnee Pimp.The Mountain View Hotel along side the Gillies is a fabulous scenic rural spot full of creeks ,The Little Mulgrave River, bog, shiggy ,forest ,farms ,properties, hills, bog ,cow poo, horse poo, stinging trees, more poo, slop, slopes .perfect hashing country. The run will head off at 3pm sharp. Don’t be late or that’s it ....warned Pro. The diversity of the terrain was the reason for the prompt start and also the possibility of a different means to get the pack to the actual start of the trail. Sometime well after 3pm the chalk talk began...We’ve had a cyclone go through so the trail isn’t there anymore and parts of the trail are too dangerous....Ominous words. The pack piled back into their cars ,drove a couple of kilometres up Orchid Valley Road, parked beside the furiously rushing Little Mully River at Piccolos bridge and off we went into the threatening downpour. Cummy, Losty and Defeatus went looking for anything that resembled trail and off the pack trudged. Trail found it turned right, on up and past Kreels Creek, Leonis Crossing and past the horse riding adventure stables. Across their horse paddocks and trails and on down a steep gully emerging onto more horse territory. By now Defeatus was hearing strains of Duelling Banjos and was fearing for his life and his virginity. Pimp and Defeatus tore away and the pack stumbled on. Over fields, paddocks, over electric fences, past the stampeding mob of wild horses. Up more hills, through gates,shiggy, bog ,poo, acquiring a stray dog or two on the way.down into secret gullies and dells, splashing through more creeks finding our way back to Piccolos bridge. Sitting and diving into the rushing river was a dangerous but welcome pursuit. Up went the Marquee and the circle began as did the rain. Mutiny’s run report was most apt as was his fair estimation of the trail score. Pimp was downdowned for his efforts returning.Charges were many and varied, confusing made up silly as you do. What they actually were are forever lost as scribes notes disintegrated in the rain. The grog flowed, the river rushed, the rain belted, the bog bogged, pizza scoffed, but a boggy good time was had by all.
ON ON BOUNTY XX  

Weed’s Run of the Decade - run 1789

A lively pack arrived at Tackles abode on a hot sweaty pre Christmas night. Baubles, tinsel and jingly bells adorned most hashers. The pack left and then they came back. Sometime later, but they came back. Sweating and huffing with tinsel drooping, mutterings could be heard. Great trail, good run, good effort, it was long, it’s hot, I’m stuffed, my baubles fallen off, where’s the grog, I’m f**3ked!!! So, a huge effort put in by our resident kegmaster. Wait till the pack saw the ON AFTERS. Visiting returnees Mcshit and his very delightful partner returned via Bribie Island. Apologies for scribes forgetfulness with names but it was one of those days you know. Visitor Martin was welcomed with open arms (see pics ) On the circle continued. The hare was duly charged for his run and the charges for him continued as it became apparent that animal abuse had been involved. Visions of the actual hare Albie , the fuzzy dog, being sealed in his little doggie bike carrier while sprinkling flour from the rear of his chariot had the pack in tears at the thought of the terrors Albie must have endured for the benefit of the hash. Duly recovered from said visions charges flowed. Visitor Martin was charged for being foolish enough to live just around the corner from Twistys old haunt in the U.K. and still not being able to escape her clutches. Twisty charged for thinking her luck was in with the handsome Martin because he was from HOME. Spreadem charged for copious amounts of talking and W.A.W charged a significant number of the pack for having E.S.P and all going off the rails by wearing their Townsville off the rails t-shirts. Kotex was charged with self aggrandisment by outdoing all the other hashers at hangover attempts by claiming an appendix operation. Rafts of charges were read out and down downs drunk that scribe couldn’t keep up. Twisty kept the P.O.W award. A stupendous Christmas feast was supplied by Tackle and scoffed by the pack.
ON ON 

Thanks to Spreadum for lumbering us with yet another educational experience with Lostie!!!!! Runners report by someone important called it crap with no understanding of mathematics. Walkers report by Handbrake was much kinder (as Hariettes are!), Awarded a 4 and it was very scenic. Everyone was a little confused by the 360- degree doughnuts! Returnees were Gay Cum Gagga   Also In Out and Money Slot.
Charges from Twisted went to Weed for ,can you believe it, falling asleep at the Trinity party and being refused service at the Cape York Hotel. Charges came from Pro for something yelling out ‘yahoo I got Lostie worked out’ after a 50 m lost trail? Lostie charged Twisted as she reckoned it was all too long? Mole charged the late comers (the young ones) i.e. Gay cum gaga,In Out and Money Shot for obviously being late. Handbrake charged Nom de Plume for indicating the way, as it was all too far.

Announcements:  bike hash Lake Placid next Sunday all welcome! Next run Xmas pre-lube at Tackles.  And last run of the decade at Weeds (see breaking news) 
Awards: Superstork was going to award Money Slot but changed his mind. Instead had to go to Weed for being the designated drinker, as no barman would serve him. Late charge for Dancing Queen and Noway for sitting down (Bumper and Tutti exempt as on official Hash business) 

On on Bumper!  

 Helmut got everyone going by threatening to hose to everyone with the fire hose, “move it or get wet” was the threat! Superstock(a late comer) gave the run report and complained about Losties usual directions. The run consisted of lots of drains, the top ramp at Cairns Central and something about 360 degrees,180 and 90 and Lostie failing geometry. Pro took the lead and overall a whopping score of 8 was awarded. Tuttie gave the walkers report which involved wandering around bushes and Superstock cheating A 2.5 was given but then downgraded to a –17. Visitors joined us from Colombia and Rome, namely BMP and VC both described the run as scenic. Charges were laid by Betty Boop the shy retiring Hariette against Lostie for something to do with water aerobics and balls and of course the charge was reversed by unanimous decision. Dancing Queen charged BMP for short cutting and Defoetus charged Dancing Queen for wearing no pants. Bumper was charged as usual for no hash shirt. Happy Feet charged Noway for having too many checks and wrong ways. Returnees were Prickle and Wait-a-While Awards were given by No Knockers sorry Knickers to Super Stock for picking on all the females and Nogat for being low profile. The raffle was won by Bumper and Handbrake

On On Bumpa Stcker  

  ”Thus were the words of Supa when asked to describe Handbrake's trail from Wau close in Trinity Beach. Mind you, the pack did discover vast tracts of new subdivision tucked deep in the formerly blank spaces of Trinity Beach and backing onto Earl hill. We left Wau close, Out onto Kaveing St and a tour of the old 'burbs. Arriving into Shell Harbour Release, through the BlueWater development and thereby discovering Elysian Heights(grove, hills) whichever. On and on and on to finally a watered down drinks stop. Still more on and on. We had gone thru vacant blocks, new blocks, back blocks, back onto Reed rd and it was only 4kms long??? On and on the run report went, 3/10 to Handbrake. 
Manu resumed his authoritative and commanding position of GM. Goat Fucker from Gold Coast was welcomed and Choppa returned from his travels.
Charges: Spread 'Em charged for not consulting the RA before changing Crunchy Crack's name to Crinchy Crick. McTaf charged Handbrake for swearing. (horror!!) Supa charged Phuket for watering down the water stop so much we didn't know what it was. Weed accepted the stand in charge as Phuket was still out looking for the lost runners. There are many more charges but this scribe is sick of writing now.
Kotex got all the awards, and highly deserved too.
ON ON Phantom  

Almost at the crack of dawn hashers were still rubbing their sleep filled eyes when standing alongside Bruce Highway waiting for a MYSTERY BUS to appear. It did. The nattily dressed COACH driver helpfully placed all the sleepy hashers luggage into the cargo bay and it continued on its merry way. Pro wasted no time cracking open the keg thoughtfully supplied by the hash and Tooty frooty was seen gleefully pouring champagne into cups for the harriettes. Twisty passed around free magazines for the pack to occupy their minds on the long journey to Townsville’s 1800th weekend run. The pictures in the magazines and jolly puzzles held the pack enthralled. Soon Defeatus and Weed woke from their slumbers at the back of the coach upon smelling the fresh beer. Crunchy cracked open a cider, and Noway enjoyed a refreshing cider also. Kotex and Handbrake tucked into a tipple and Betty was seen to be wine drinking at such an early hour. Losty and Notyet somehow kept a low profile. Mctaff kept an even lower one and laid so low along the coach seats he couldn’t be seen. Phukit was his usual relaxed self and everyone ensured that Wait a while was still alive Dancing Queen danced along the aisles and the fun began. The time to Townsville zoomed by what with all the doing the crosswords, puzzles, drinking, talking, wee stops, drinking, and merriment and d carryon. Arriving in Townsville to a wonderful view of waterbirds, wetlands and waste transfer stations the pack soon realised they had done a false trail even before the real trail began. Back on the real trail and arriving at Pandanus Recreation facility, lunch was served as was more cooling grog. By this time the weather was quite warm and many drinks needed to be drunk to keep the crowd hydrated. Onto the trail and we followed grassy trail and down an embankment to a dry, sandy river bed. Along, and along and along this trail went but soon a rum stop was seen. Up out of the river bed and dry, scrubby trail was found. Over long grass and round the bend the pack went .a strange stop at an old flying fox outpost but more beers needed to be drunk and they were, Back through dense snake country we trailed, down into the riverbed, more sand and soon a kahlua and milk stop was seen along with chocolate and fruit cake. Many brown cows later the trail came back up to find its way back into the venue. Straight into the pool all 80 people fell and the smell of urine was soon detected. The pool water suddenly went warmer than usual but plenty of grog was consumed so what did it matter. Later at the circle history was made with Twisted Sister being placed in the punishment stocks and having her mouth taped up with gaffer tape. STILLL she did not stop blabbing. Stubby was seen to be physically restrained from asking Twisty to kindly keep a low profile but to no avail. Many charges and misdemeanours later the pack the pack went to get dressed for dinner. Only Betty, Crunchy Dancing Queen and T`villes Shattered made an effort to dress off the rails. And damn good they looked too. The party was enjoyed and lots of dancing and sing alongs were heard well into the wee hours. A fun weekend!!
ON ON  

The Spock and Bouncer Show - run 1780

A confused pack congregated at a new site off the Kennedy Hi-way at Smithfield. Some of the pack got there, some didn't. Money, Fetish and In Out must have found a new hash as instructions were given but they seemed to lose the whole night. A jumbled start to the night but as usual it all turned out well. Except for the trail. Juggler was heard to mutter the Weed set trail must have been the warm up run as the front runners were back before the sweeps left. There was talk of a creek, scrub and under buildings. Some were seen to venture into Can'O'Pees Edge. Then they came back. There was toilet paper? Apparently. There was false trail? Apparently. Did bouncer get confused? Definitely. The run score? Don't know. 
Circle: Munu didn't muck about but the pack did. Our GM charged himself for returning as did Spinifex and Penny. Thankfully no virgins.
Twisty charged for talking and Betty kept her company. Juggler charged Weed for setting a women's run (confusing and all over the place). Bo Peeps charge was reversed from Weed being confused about arrows and false trails. Juggler charged Losty for being confused and falling over. There was a wait-a-while charge in there somewhere about something. 
Raffles won by Losty and Super Stork. No Way gleefully gave the P.O.W to Losty who scared people by using it as a pointy stick. Double Donger still with Money-Shot, she must be having LOTS of fun. 
On On Big Bazza  

Arriving at Goannas Premier Horse Stud and Dressage Training Academy a.k.a. Ruff Rides house the pack enjoyed the visual pleasure of their fabulous garden and vista of grazing horses. A wonderful change for the pack. Off the pack wandered with Goannas words..: I ride the horses there all the time..What to expect! Long stretches of flat asphalt for the runners to stretch out. Up into some shiggy and scrub over old quarry diggings and hard set horse hoof imprints. Over lumps, bumps and down a slippery slope we cantered and trotted. Over long grassy paddocks catching our feet in dips and holes and finally onto flat road for a mighty trot up a huge driveway where Goanna was diligently flashing her headlights. Oh.....oops.., flashing her headlights to show the way to the drink stop (no, there were no fairy lights). Gasping for breath, those that could be bothered to get to the top enjoyed a tasty tipple. The lazy ones continued on their way back on trail following the rest of James Cook Drive back to the ON ON. Guest GM Screwer attempted to run a circle but the pack were too interested in talking horticulture and matters equine to pay him much mind. Hare Goanna was brought forth and much dissent about whether the trail was set on a bike or a horse and confusion about where the trail went .This scribe didn’t find it confusing so that’s saying something. 
Returnees....Ruff Ride and Betty Boop.
Virgins........Cameron and Victoria, Goannas lovely sister. 
Losty told the pack this was new territory for him and he was convinced he was going to go on a golf course as the area was so open and green. 
Charges... Weed was charged with not being allowed to do something which somehow involved Mole. Losty charged for NOT getting lost this week and therefore not living up to his names expectations Virgin Cameron charged for being a front running B.,48=++++!! When he didn’t have a clue as to what trail actually looked like. Hare Goanna was charged for shocking her Mum, Ruff Ride who had no idea Goanna goes round flashing her headlights willy nilly. Mole charge for not allowing Weed to do something (oooo!) Noway charged unnamed Harriett Kerry for being a quitter and leaving hash before she could be properly named. 
Awards...Noway got P.O.W. for not showing a Harriettes' ingenuity and forcing Nome de plume to let her into the Germania Club for Oktoberfest. Double donger still with Money shot.
ON ON Dancing Queen.  

About 26 rowdy harriers turned up for the run at Greenslopes St for Concrete Rod's run. So down the road we went along the creek for some croc-spotting and on on to the Newmarket Hotel but alas no drink stop there and back to the Lakes for some more croc-spotting. A few frivolous down-downs were given. Someone gave Concrete Rod minus 14 for the run, and then Twisted Sister gave him minus 15. So that was minus 29 out of 10 according to Weed. I really think if it was averaged out it would've been minus 14.5. Concrete put on spag-bol for nosh with prawns for desert. When the rain came we all adjourned to the inside. 

Handbrake's Speculation Trail - Run 1774
(Or, how to bump off a hasher and make it look like an accident!!) 
The pack left the nifty car park at Stanton Rd, Smithfield after much speculation if there would be any trail! It had rained. LOTS. We all got to the first check, and it all went pear shaped from there. Manu nearly got run over by a fat Ute screaming around a corner. The pack split and the runners were never seen again. The walkers followed Mr Spock who sniffed trail so, on we followed. Up the highway and left into the depths of Smithfield. Trail still looked scarce (i.e NONE). Upon reaching Speculation St it became apparent the trail had been done in reverse. To cries of ON ON the pack turned en masse and continued on trail walking backward. We met runners coming down from A GIANT HILL so decided to head for the keg. 
Back at the keg much concern for Mole's welfare having been knocked over by a uni student on a bike with dodgy brakes. A thorough tongue lashing from Moley terrified the offender.
Virgin: Kerry was welcomed.
Visitor: Sonic Beep who is henceforth known to Manu as Sonic Bang!!
Returnee: Pendinga.
Raffles: won by Sonic and Bouncer.
P.O.W to Losty for being himself and Manu gave the Double Donger to Sod-On-Me.
Defeatus charged the drinkstop non attenders. Hmmm that would be 99% of the pack. Betty and Twisted nominated themselves. Nommy charged for implying OOOps was fat i.e confusing virgin Kerry with OOOps who miraculously lost lots of weight. Kerry for impersonating another hasher. Manu for being blind. Moley charger bike hash for reckless cycling. No Way for no hash attire, reversed to Twisty who forget No Way's name.
All was forgiven for the backwards trail when Handbrakes nosh was devoured. No Speculation there was top nosh. 
NO NO SSEHCUD . 

FROLICS IN FOREST GARDENS OR..MAYHEM AT 21 MONSOON - run 1773
With monsoonal rain threatening to belt down and wash trail away from Kotexs Monsoon Tce maison, Kotey had the bright idea of marking her trail with crayon. Bright orange. Barely discernable in the fading light but hey at least the trail didn’t get washed away. It just got confused with last months trail and previous Kotex runs and the odd Harriettes trail as well. Manu arrived at the drinkstop from the on home trail but somehow reversed. Weed knocked over most of the drinks at the drinkstop. Several harriettes and No Gat didn’t bother getting to any drinkstop real or fake. Much discussion about the giant false trail and many "Damn and blasts" from Betty when trying to leave the drinkstop with NoNickas, Kotey, and Nommy jammed in the back of Bettys car. Defeatus had swiped the car keys.
Back at Koteys, virgin and visitor Kelly and Pubic Service Announcement were welcomed from Boston. Duly interviewed by our GM Manu with a most interesting new form of microphone. 
CHARGES...Manu for being blind and falling over. Kotex for making Betty lug her wee collection bottle with her to help set Koteys run. Moneyshot for not telling the difference between Manu and Weed. Moneyshot for being blind and no hash attire. Nommy and Noey for cadging a lift back in the car. Moneyshot for being deaf as well as blind.
Double dinger from Losty to Manu so it can go to Fiji again. P.O.W. did go to someone but you will have to tell the scribe at next weeks run. 
ON ON MR.SPOCK .

Manu Manu’s harey lost and then found run - run 1772
OR
LOST IN THE GHETTO WITH LOSTY
Defeatus`s run report began thus..."a nice scenic tour of the worst parts of the ghetto. a pretty good run...(huh???)minus 5. Kotexs`s run report for the walkers was..oh...uhmm..yeah..dark shady areas in a dark shady place..minus 69. The pack had just run from Henley Park in Earelville around through said suburb and the into the secrect depths and hidden ghetto that is some of that area. It was marked such that when front runners returned from checking the walkers had caught up and so the pack stayed fairly much to-gevor.( genius!!!)
Virgin Bev was welcomed although Bev may still be wondering about the goat tho.
Returnees ..Losty, Bumpa, Spreadem, Wrongway. 
Charges----Crunchy, Bev, Dancing Queen, Betty for impersonating an interstate hasher by wearing body condoms...who that hasher is the pack has no idea. Weed to Defeatus for not being hungover on a hash run like he was last week .(wimp) Kneetrembler for pretentiousness for training prior to a hash run Gay Cummy.... because we can. Spreadem to Pro for lack of shoes. Nommy for frivolity with a hasher under an umbrella Twisty for impersonating Nommy and weeing on trail. Kotex for being a media tart and failing to mention the hash. Bev for admiring Defeatus`s double donger..A LOT. Tackle for loosing his luggage in the Philippines and trying to blame Wrongway.
The much admired double donger went to Losty for bringing back Defeatus`s horror childhood memories of living in the ghetto. Pro likes the prick so much he left it at home with his missing runners.
ON ON PHUKET  

A not very serious pack of 32 gay and jolly hashers descended upon the seriously midgee ridden centenary lakes picnic hut. After much telling and directing Not Yet sent the pack away, away where we know not as some of the pack, Crunchy& Farcanel returned forthwith wearing serious looks of confusion. To cries of '' bugger that"" and are you serious, more hashers returned before completing trail. How could this be ????? Not Yets cunning plan to confuse and confound the pack was more successful than he hoped with checks, false trails double checks and check again and really?? at the tanks art precinct people changed their minds and came home. Except the ones that didn't, they deciphered Not Yet’s seriously confusing trail...Losty was seen to be running up Macnamarra street, Sod on me ran back all flustered, supa stork and defeatus just ran. Virgin Angus ran somewhere with some people, Metro bike hashed. SOS decided to have a little lie down on trail, Skiddy was concerned, Manu ran like the clappers, as did foreign correspondent returnee Choppa. Big Bazza and Animal loped. Returnee B.T kept twisty and tooty company. Tackle kept an eye on the keg and returnee Mofl entertained and iced a cake. Meanwhile serious charges occurred and some more serious than others. Newcomer Darren wore no new hash attire as his dog Just Chewed It ,chewed it. charge was accepted with claims that he is not in the cupboard (???? ..seriously odd but there you go....its hash, a hash name for Darren perhaps.. narnia was bandied about. Crunchy was charged for leaving all the pricks, cocks, double dongers and dildos at home claiming they are all in for repairs. Betty was charged for not taking the notes, maid marion for passing the buck(ouchies) and handbrake for making the G.M look incontinent....oops....typo....incompetent. 
Waffles to supa stork and weed but no prizes. Not a serious raffle then 
ON ON Screwer. 

Upon arrival at Holloways beach Nom de Plumes co hare Twisted sister gave the pack the inside running about tonight’s run. Because of the huge deluge of rain the trail was reset from from twisty’s car. Sub substitute hare Losty was already on trail remarking remarked trail. Nommy enlisted the help of her exact stunt doubles due to a very unexpected turn of events, however, being the resilient Harriette that she is and with Swiss precision and organization no stone was left unturned or marked and the evenings trail and nosh awaited an eager pack.

HANDBRAKES' DAD'S PLACE - run 1752

It was packed to the roof trusses at Mahogany St for what turned out to be a fantastic trail set by the lovely Handbrake. Knowing that there would be an influx of HMAS Success's finest, fittest specimens the R.A.N could offer, Handbrake surpassed herself in the quality of her trail setting, marking, good length which even had the hardiest of runners puffing. Except No Gat and Farcanal who casually ambled back to the Keg. OH! and Boopy and Crunchy who stayed in cripples corner. And Weed who ran around doing Handbrake's bidding. And Handbrake's dad, who supervised Handbrake. Much was made of the trail that stayed mostly on the main roads and went somewhere along Reservoir Rd, English St, Jensen St, mention of Commins St, Parks and all those well lit areas. 

Losty wondered why none of the pack followed him to Greenslopes St & Centenary Lakes. The trail didn't go there Losty!!!!!

Back the pack came and some of our finest & fittest were seen turning round and heading off again. Many Virgins were welcomed. Hooper, Sally, Jamie, Al, Jane and any others the scribe missed. The goat eagerly waiting out the back to receive the virgins. Many other visitors welcomed, a down down drunk. Leading the visiting pack Flesh gave the run report "I loved it!! Except who put a checkpoint under a car. The drinkstop was fantastic, Awesome!!" Returnee Hug'N'Kiss gave her walkers report "Yes it was quite eventful, My legs got sore"!!!!!?????! Many photos were took and charges laid. Notably Flesh for new shoes. Out came the stocks. Flesh for leading the pack, Flesh for splitting the trail and Flesh for......anything else the pack could think of. Many down downs drunk, songs sung and photos taken with the prick of the week and the double donger taken (quite popular that). A huge night with a huge pack.

ON ON Deep Shit 

Over swampy parks we went, up over a steep bank and straight onto the highway we went.. at peak hour! Making it to the other side of the highway in reletive safety the pack discovered new areas of Smithfield we hadn’t ventured to before. Handbrake checked out trail for her future harriettes run. Betty sampled the loos at the nice hidden park next to Smithfield shopping centre,(they are very nice Nommy as far as toilets go )

By this time the pack had split and where the runners went some of us are not sure. The back of the pack wandered through the depths of Smithfield along the highway and wended our way back all along 4x`s remarkably well marked trail. Back past the light industrial area the pack went and on into the soggy park to await the circle. Which we waited and waited for....because Lost and found forgot the nosh. 4x kept his end of the bargain and Losty was just losty.

Gay cummy gave his run report: it was nice, I was able to check out the men’s toilets sadly no trail in there.3/10

Handbrake noted that she and Betty saw the check back and therefore did the whole trail and as they saw no other hashers the rest of the pack clearly shortcutted.

Charges: handbrake to the pack for the very same reason as just noted and Betty charged the rest of the pack for not going all the way unlike Betty who always does. Weed charged Supa stalk for not being at last weeks run and causing all the massive deluge but doing his job very well this week. A charge for Losty for not wearing hash gear again but losty insisted it was his Brisbane Southside tshirt which is screenprinted with black on black markings. Somewhere in the course of the night 4x was given a visiting GM charge. Helmet charged prickle for choosing to cum to a wet hash night for their 30th wedding anniversary celebrations.

Raffles: Crunchy and handbrake. Defeotus passed on the POW to helmet and prickle as a wedding anniversary gift and Crunchy is still minding the hairy prick, the **glitteris** LOL!! AND the double donger....busy girl.

ON ON HYDRO AND STUBBY.

Yes, we know the notes said you are at Dancing queens run at Ravizza park but in hash things have a way changing dont ya know. Especially when it precipitates. Bucketed down. So the theme for the whole night was improvisation, which we did. The mystery live hare sent us away out of the park and onto a very long road. The second live hare Mctaf quickly remarked the washed away trail until we followed white tape.
Yep, it was wet and still bucketing down. Into a wild scrub trail we went slipping and slopping AND NATURALLY NOT A TORCH TO BE SEEN. Over a huge fence we had to go or over a perrilous wild creek over a drain pipe.Mctaf and helmet gallantly helped the harriettes over the obstacle while pro helped the harriettes just to cop a feel of their wet bums. Great debate ensued as to the continuance of the trail or go home. Most thought ' sod it' and went on keg.Sodden we were and sodden we remained for the night. Mole gave an accurate account.'' IT RAINED....blah ,blah ,blah, more rain... blah ,blah ,blah...then the rain stopped-2/10 but the nosh looks fantastic...it was.
Charges. Spreadem for trying to charge before the charges began. Handbrake and Crunchy for making the pack worry about them( they disapeared on trail) Pro for helping harriettes just to cop a quick grope. Flapps and prickle for low profiles. Nogat for something about a root. Weed and Mole for sacriledge (great song tho) Tackle for parking the hashdray too far in the rain and making the standin kegmaster wet.
Raffles. Crunchy crack, Spreadem and Tackle
Awards... Double Donger to Losty. Long lost ceramic prick to someone but Crunchy will mind (:-o?) it for them and the hairy prick to Manu but crunchy will mind it for them.

ON ON
SPANNER

Run 1718 Whistle Blower
07-09-09

Run 1717 Toolbox
31-08-09

Run 1716 Tackle
24-08-09
when tackle rings weed to check where the trail is on monday then rings mole and also the grandmattress to double check where the trail is on monday you can begin to suspect that there is some confusion somewhere along the line. But no,.... Weed, Mole ,and the Grandmattress are all on the same page and the run is actually at tackles abode that very same monday.It just took Tackle lots of convincing that in fact...Yes, the run is at your place tonight Tackle like we advertised last week. But i wasnt there last week says tackle. We know , says the grandmattress ,but your run has been advertised on the run board for some weeks now Kegmaster......Much grumbling and panicing later Weed, Mole and the Grandmattress all assured Tackle that we can all offer help to set trail ,supply nosh and all the usual assistance ones` fellow hashers supply.
Like a true hasher that Tackle is he soldiered on and got Wait a while to set a mighty long endurance run while Tackle concentrated on his forte of supplying top nosh .
So , the pack arrived at chez Tackles unaware of the drama that unfolded during the course of the day.
And a marvellous trail it was too. A traditional hashing trail in the canals and drains of Man Unda that involved lots of stinky shiggy, (bettys shoes still stink)DARK AND DANK pathways by canals,up steep embankments that required visiting hashers from Botany Bay to assit our local harriettes up the
said steep embankment. along the outskirts of Heritage village,onto the inner streets of Man Unda and finnally onto the drinkstop at Wait a whiles.
Now here is where the serious charges begin.
the front runners clearly made it to the drinkstop as the middle runners also clearly found evidence of a drunk drinkstop.Empty cups ,wet slop on the ground ....but no drinkstop or drinkstop providers.after a hideously long slog to get through all the long straight roads,through the medical centre, up busy thoroughfares,back streets and smelly shiggyTHE DRINKSTOP HAD LEFT THE BUILDING.
Gasps of thirst and disbelief overwhelmed the middle runners and thoughts of the rest of the pack turning up and not being able to quench their thirst were thought.
Major charge numder two. after a marathon effort to get back to the keg all the pack returned tired and THIRSTY.
Immediately Wait a while was accosted to find out what happened to the missing drinkstop.Instantly Wait a while tried to lay all the blame on Tackle.
HE DIDNT WANT TO WAIT.I tried to tell him what a bout the walkers.Ahh Bugger `em. says Tackle. who to beleive as a hashman never lies.
the circle began and our lovely returning visitor Just an Inch gave a stupendous score of 8 despite being led astray.
Charges; Losty and the returning DEEFEETUS for not going out and searching for the lost Grandmattressand sargeant st arms.
Visitor No NOB for having to join them for not being able to think of an appropriate song to sing to the miscreants.
Acharge for our returning Virgin that was, Michelle; for being brave about returning after the farcanel train track trail debacle
Returning visitors Moses and Just an Inch for coming three months solid.(STUPENDOUS EFFORT)
A nother charge to Michelle for wanting to go to the meet and greet night at fishery Falls hotel and being friends with the band but forgetting to turn up.
No Nob charged the Kegmaster for forgetting the GM IS GODESS AND PULLING OUT BEFORE THE GM COMES .....to the drinkstop.
Boopy charged Dancing Queen for making Boppy apologise to Dancing Queen for not using the notes what she wrote but failed to give to boop to actually write them with ??????
More charges to tackle because we were in the mood.
A reunion charge to Lost and Found, Mctaff AND No Nob for having a royal penninsula Mens H3 reunion with only themselves.
Pull thru for playing with his blackberry in the circle and NomDe Plume for leaving last weeks run without her box.
Awards : Double donger from Weed to Helmet because he was so keen to give us all a brown eye.The giant prick of the week is still with the lovely Toolbox so we may be licky and get that back this week.......ON ON .

Run 1715 Kneetrembler
17-08-09

Run 1714 Farcanel
10-08-09
Farcanels Terror Train Track Trail

When the hare rings the Grandmattress to say "sorry im not there yet but im not far away" and the grandmattress rings the kegmaster to say "sorry im not there yet and neither is the hare but we` re not far away" you just know its going to be an odd night.
the pack finnally departed along a canefeild, out to a footy club regroupspot, over the road, up a f!!!!ing giant hill to a water tank. from there the terror trail began.
on down through the deep terrain and scrub with barely a torch between them,on and on down it went.the dark trail kept on going untill the pack emerged out into the back suburbs of freshwater, out onto the road and on home via the marked trail.
this is where it all went awry and the real terror began. following the trail onto the train bridge in the dark the panic began to set in.
Mctaf caught our virgin hashers as they jumped off the bridge while Betty simply stopped and Tackle and Mole did their best to soothe her and get her off the track as the 7.42 from freshwater came thundering down the line. The run was summed up as "an old fashioned run" according to Weed. So Wait a While was called out the front for being old fashioned.Tanx thought thr walkers walk was "interesting, plenty of obstacles although the trail petered out.
Virgins were called to the front.
Michelle and Robert ( who`s not 95 kilo according to Mctaf) .
Visitors: Goanna,Plugga,and the lovely Skiddy
Charges: Supa charged the train company for not being on the train track at the right time as did Not Yet who didnt listen and said the train should have been an hour earlier. This caused the Grandest of mattressess to faint with yet more fright and kiss the ground with thanks to the great hash god.
Boopy charged herself for being a wimp and causing her mascara to smudge. Mole charged Mr Spock for being a superhero but also for forgetting to push the record button on the Betamax recorder to save THE BILL.
Dancing Queen was charged for being out in front so the packed dutifully hummed the dancing queen song.
Weed charged himself for being a dickhead on the forthcoming celebration run.
The POW was awarded to to weed because he is going to be a dickhead at this weekends celebration run.
Did you know that your rego also includes the entry fee for the Pyrimid race; amazing deal!!!!!
Farcanal pulled off the daily double and won both raffle prizes

Run 1713 Tanx
03-08-09

Run 1712
27-07-09
McTaf Brithday Bash

Run 1711 Prickle Magnet
20-07-09
Prickle’s Prickley Prickle of a run

Lois gave a virgin walkers report and said she enjoyed it. Don't remember a score. Masturbate joined the hare for a down down for singing a boring hash song. Mole reminded all about the celebration run and to cough up $20 deposit for a shirt. Theme for the weekend is LEGENDS. The Ladies HHH next week is at Centenary Lakes. Before that on Monday is McTaff's 50th birthday run at Green Ant Cantina and wear a party hat – doesn't matter where. But if you're reading this you're at it. BREAKING NEWS – the last John Farnham Little Mulgrave run will be the recovery run on 16th August at the celebration run. Returnees were McTaff, Big Bazza back for the V8's, Sodomy, Deep Throat, Lois and Vertigo and visitor was Masturbate all the way from Townsville. Charges went to Sodomy for being pre-emptive, Lois and Vertigo for being good harriettes and knowing how to go down, Nom for being in the bushs and making Weed think it was raining, Helmet for no regroup or drink stop on the run, Super for making disparaging remarks about the walkers, Toolbox for making Betty run?, Betty and CC for PDA, Sodomy charged Knee Trembler and Big B for something in Darwin, Lost and Found for something about a drain, Super for organising rain as R.A., Deep Throat and Wait-a-While for chattering and Twisted because she was the subject of their chatter. Weed gave the prick to Betty for spoiling McTaff's surprise birthday party. Double donger went to Prickle for not having washing instructions on Haberdash and making all Dancing Queen's clothes dirty. Lost and Found was given a down down for not making Handbrake pass on the garment of the month.
Raffles went to Dancing Queen and Tackle

On On Maid Marion

Run 1710 Weed
13-07-09
Hash Notes – Weeds Run

T’was a crisp chill in the evening air as we walked through the grassy plain and wandered into a well marked trail with plenty on tooty paper for those who need to have a pit stop on the way.
Through the trees we wondered with Phucket wanting Two Tit Frutti to lead the way to see if she got wet in the ripple of gentle flowing water.(Phucket was charged for this). Out of the bushlands and into civilization finding our way to the drink stop with front runners taking us all on a few false trails.
From the drink stop it was on-on home down what Twisted said – boring straight run/walk home).
Run report given by Pro was a 1.23, walkers report by Twisted was a 2 – Weed informs us that is a 1.62 average.

Tackle – who ran the circle gave a run report on the Townsville V8 weekend.
Said that it was a great weekend for those Hashers that went to Townsville for the V8 car. His only complaint was that Weed snored so much they had to get up and have a few drinks cause they couldn’t sleep with the noise of Weed. (ed note – they were all in bed by 8 pm except Weed who went into town and had a good night)
Mole said it was good as she had 3 yank staying with her.

Return Runner: Count Cunny, Phucket, Two Tit Frutti, Tackle, Pendinga, Whistle blower

Awards: Phucket 361 runs, 260 for Tackle, 150 for Nom De Plume
Kotex gave Weed the Prick of the week for Snoring so loudly and setting up a tent in a house.
Twister Sister gave Tackle the titty because it was his birthday

Charges: Twisted for Phucket for making Two Tit Fruit lead the way in the bushland
VD charged Nom De Plume, Twisted and Count Cunny for breaking away from the run for a Wee Wee stop.

Announcements: McTaffs birthday bash at Green Ant Cantina, Celebration Run 15/8/09 no deposit no shirt., Little Mulgrave run 16/7/09 – come as it my be the last one again.
Ladys Hash 29/7/09

Run 1709 Supa Storks
06-07-09
SuperStalk’s Birthday Bash for Boopy

Run 1708 Dancing Queen
29-06-09
Virgin Run for Dancing Queen
What a run. Had all the makings of a great run but…………….

Run 1707 Meatballs
22-09-09

Run 1706 Flapps
15-06-09
FLAPPS RETURNEE RUN
Well …………………..didn’t receive any notes this week so read on
There’s not much more
Well done for the run Flapps

Run 1705 Tackle
08-06-09
Tackles Queens Birthday Run
And as the meeting started the pack were unruly and the man virgin and pull through where pulled up for talking in the ranks. Run report by Messiah was short and to the point: No one ran! Followed by a full report by Cunilingus and given 1 out of 10.
Charges arising from the run: Daily Mail charged from the Cook Town run for driving on the wrong side of the road. Betty for having a blonde moment and looking for her phone in the wrong bag. Messiah for being to skinny. Pull Through no Hash shirt. Twisted for a water stop on run. Helmet for making fun of the Kiwi (doesn’t every one). Weed for mentioning his other woman in his life. Daily Mail again for being baffled by our Aussie clocks and for pushing Weed down an embankment (She did have a good weekend). Twisted for not knowing her own name and having her necklace on back to front. Awards: Nougat given the Tit for short cutting.
Announcements: There is to be a helper’s night for all the Hashers plus partners who helped out during Nash Hash, to be arranged some time in the near future. Little Mulgraves run will be on the 21st of June same time same place and lets hope that Pro turns up this time, though I have heard he is looking for volunteers to set some runs as he has had enough which seems fair. Anniversary’s: Tutti 400 runs – Betty 430 runs. Returnees: Chopper, Blake and Pull through. Visitors: Daily Mail from the USA and Cunilingus from Canberra. Virgin: Mathew. Prickel Magnet was unjust fully charged at the end of the circle for a advent not being Hash related when Helmet cut his leg open earlier that day and Prickle had to patch him up, Helmet seemed to think that Prickle was overcome with the sight of the wound, may I put things straight and say that Prickle did a great job of patching up the wusses leg so he did not have to go and have stitches which scares the shit out of him and the wound is currently healing nicely.
On On Prickle Magnet
The reason that I did not want to go to the drop in was that it was late in arvo on a public holiday Monday and I would have been there for ages and we would not have made it to Hash. Nomination for hash man of the year is justified I feel.
On On Helmet

Ed Note :- No domestics in HASH!!! OR RIGHT OF REPLY

Run 1704
01-06-09
WITH A DARK AND GLOOMY NIGHT AHEAD ANYTHING WAS POSSIBLE…
McTaf’s Run started at his house at the back of never never land of Edmonton where it was very dark and a little on the rainy side at times. Manu Manu gave a 3 of out 10 who was a front running bastard. Handbreak gave her generous score of 5 out 10 and she thought it was well marked, a good walk and of course good scenery. What do you mean, good scenery, it was too dark to observe anything. The run board is a little empty so please write your name on the white board if you haven’t done a run for awhile. Twisted Sister wanted to let everyone know that Meatballs is now on the 5th floor at the Cairns Base and he is making a slow recovery. If you would like to visit she suggested around meal time so you can help him eat as he is having a little trouble feeding himself and the nurse seem to disappear around that time. 21st June Mulgrave Hash will be having there last run. Pro is basically sick of setting runs.
Return runners: Crunchy, Tutti Fruiti, Pro. Birthdays: No knickers
Camping weekend will be a combined with Trinity and looks like it will be the 3rd weekend of August. Looks like it will be at Mulgrave Valley starting Friday night with dinner at the Mountain View for those who would be interested and the weekend will continue from there.
Charges: Twisted not knowing where the run was and ringing Tutti Frutti (whose has been away for the past month). Superstalk taking a charge for all that got wet. Mole: commenting it wasn’t raining and then of course bucketing down. Kotex: Looking at jumping the fence, regarding sex change in life and That Much has a daughter who may be interest. Flaps: Phone ringing in the bag. Pro: Not setting the run for Mulgrave.
Prickle Magnet gave the double donger to Pro for setting the notes on fire last week. Wait a While gave the genuine article (as he put it) to Kotex. Nomey: for forgetting the hat for nosh of the month at home. Run of the month candidates were Tackle, Hand Brake, That Much, Lost and Found and the lucky winner was Handbrake which she got a down down. Superstork for spending the last 10 days in NZ playing with the sheep and hoping he hasn’t introduced sheep flu. Raffles won by Betty, Lost and Found again, Tanks and Not Yet.
Euro Hash 503 was held in Turkey and Pro went along and wasn’t really that impressed. Organization was fairly average he thought compared to our Nash Hash which was well organized. He liked the idea of 24hr grog at the hotel. McTaff had to let us know that he will be 50 at the end of July and he was going to set his run from Green Ant Cantina at Bunda St on 27th July where he will be throwing in a couple hundred dollars for drinks and dinner will be approx: $15 for the night. He didn’t realize how many friends he had because everyone was interested in coming along. Next weeks run is at Tackles, make sure you bring a torch and other accessories to protect yourself as there is a lot of danger in his area of town. Key rings are available for purchase from Prickle Magnet for $2.00ea. Nosh was a lovely corn chowder and a pasta bake.
On On Koty

Run 1703 Handbrake – Maghoney Street
25-05-09
The names might be changed to protect the innocent………………
We showed up to gloomy skies which promised a lot but never delivered, sounds like some old girl friends. The nice casual jaunt around Manunda, Mooroobool, Manoora and Parramatta Park was very nice and capped off by No Gut spilling the drink stop. Upon arrival back to the establishment Can’t gave the walk a minus -5 and Screwer gave the run, well we will get back to you on his run report when we get it. Mctavish was appointed to act on behalf of Crunchie Crack. We all were given the bad news that Sir Meatballs has suffered a second stroke and is in the bottomless pit that we call the Cairns base Hospital. We all wish him well and look forward to when he can return.
Betty Boop then started the charges and as returnees we had Loopie, Fuc it , Flapps, Dodo and Flat Head. Twisted Sister and Nom da Plume were charged with relieving their weak bladders on the run. No Gut kindly accepted a charge for spilling the drink stop, what a gentleman. Wait a While and Manu Manu for gossipping. Fuc N Hel for low profile award. Weed tried to charge Helmet for the rain, which was reversed because it didn’t rain while on the run, don’t know where Weed went. De-fetus charged Betty Boop for failure and dereliction of her forsaken duties. Sodomy well for just being Sodomy. Nom de Plume for trying to pawn the Nosh of the Month off early and just to keep Sodomy company.
Awards were kindly given to; Deep Throat - Prick of the Week, for being lazy. Prickkle Magnet decided to hold onto the double donger for another week, hope she has a firm grip.
Tackle in his ever solid commitment to Hash raised $30 by selling the Nash Hash banner to Loopie and Flathead who have promised to bring it to the next Nash Hash. Lost and Found kindly reminds everyone to put your name on the board for a run otherwise he will have to set the runs. The night was capped off by the lovely Nosh that Handbrake must have spent hours doing up, (definitely in the running for Nosh of the Month), and Twisted Sister and Lost and Found won the raffles. On On till next week.

Run 1702 That’s Much – Grendale Street, Park Ridge
18-05-09


Run 1701 4XXX (Lost & Found standin, stunt double), Henley Park
11-05-09

Run 1700 Cock’n’Bull, - Nash Hash Post Lub – 160 Hasher atttended
04-05-09

Run 1699 Committee Run – BBQ Area Greenslops Street – 95 Hasher attended
27-04-09

Run 1698 Moffle` -
20-04-09

Run 1697
13-04-09 Tanx

Run 1696
06-04-09 Helmet & Prickle Magnet

Run 1695
Non De Plume
Nom de Plume’s Reliance Run
Hash met at the home of Nom de Plume in Reliance Street, Bentley Park. At the appointed hour we wandered off down one of the many walking tracks, looking as usual for markings. These were large ad plentiful. Up and down hills we wandered until we were at last back to Nom de Plumes. The circle convened with the news that Maid Marion was missing, we were assured by Twisted that she had gone on the run some 10 minutes after we had all departed. This proved to be the case as during the circle MM returned from her lonely run.
The run report was given by Boner who declared that it was “the worst run he had ever been on” and then gave it a score of 5!! Sue summed up the walker’s report in one word - IMPRESSIVE and awarded a 6
Announcements: A flyer is available about our 1700th run which is to be held on 4th May at the Cock and Bull. Weed bought up the subject of the 1699 run – it had been proposed that this would be a $5 run and buy your own beer. Weed questioned why are we changing it, a vote was taken and passed that we keep it as a standard night – ie $10 and drinks provided. During the evening Knee Trembler, with the help of Nom de Plume’s computer has been showing photos of Basil Thrush’s wedding in Vietnam. KT gave an account of the wedding which he attended. Basil had made his speech in Vietnamese – very impressive. KT presented a shirt to Betty Boop from the Saigon Hash. Amelia joined KT as “stand-in” bride and groom for a down – down.
Returnees: Knee Trembler, MOFL, Pussy Bob, Sodome. Visitors: Boner, Sue from Cairns Heavenly Hash.
Run Charges: Supa Stork charged Please Explain with a very long but definitely plausible tale of how Please Explain treated three small children and their bikes when they asked him if they could join him on the run.
Betty Boop charged Sue for something about getting to know the concept of Hash as she had made the remark that “It was easier going down.” She could not have been talking about the hills!! Hash Cash charged the hare for giving us false information about the run, she had said it was short, no hills and we could not get lost. She also failed to mention that we might need torches. This failure meant that MOFL and Tutti had to spend a part of the walk holding hands as Tutti could not see in the dark!!
Awards: Amelia and Siobhan were awarded the double donger for “running past old men on the run”
Weed was awarded the P…. of the Week for making Betty Boop swear at the last Nash hash meeting.
The raffle was won by Wait-a-while and Sodome. A joke was told by Sodome, an old one but a good one!
Next week’s run is at the home of Helmet and Prickle Magnet at 17 Melia Close Forest Gardens. Helmet suggested parking at the display centre as there is limited parking in the Close
On On MOFL

Run 1693
230309 Twisted Sister & Lost & Found
Twisted and Lost & Found attracted a large gathering at Edghill which ambled off on plenty of trail around (& around) suburbia in tedium till everyone got bored and headed back to the keg. . Farcanal gave it
4.5 but appeared unexcited by the lack lustre run. Whistleblower, lost in the crowd gave it 3.5 The Grand mattress made a night of it and came in last. The green pool will soon be home to a variety of amphibians (no not Pro) water weeds and mosquito larvae. The circle welcomed virgins Siobhan and Amelia and many returnees. Chopper,Please Explain,Whisleblower,That Much and our Patron Sir Meatballs. News being Chopper learnt how to Pole dance (Power Pole ?) at Pan Asia in some very gay pants, Crunchycracks ubbringing is showing cracks,Tee Pee wants 2 men in tights (me too) and tutus. Pro was charged for chatting up old Biddies on the run, and Farcanal got his Bum Burnt on Burning Brothel Boat. How do you like your steak ? trick question I thought , but no Twisted fed us well.
On-On

Run 1692
160309 Lost and Found KFC Park, Henley Street, Earliville
What Happened to 4XXXX
Lost and Found (and his non-existent friend 4X) run at Henley St park
Manu Manu awarded a .169 for stealing his preferred run site. Before the circle even started Boopy, No Nickers and Manu were all charges with wearing green in anticipation of St Patrick's day on Tuesday, also Flapps and Spock were charged for forming their own circle..... No visitors or virgins to report. The lovely Hand Brake was the only returnee. And Pro was given a down down for clocking up 630 runs. Spock informed us all of the movement of the international space station and the spockolite space shuttle. And to keep an eye out for it in the early morning hours. Plenty of charges from the rowdy pack that gathered with the local indigenous family groups feasting on various fried chicken dishes. PDA from Prickle and Helmet, Manu for ignoring Dr's orders, and Losty failing to shut Mole and Boopy up even when they were huffing it up a steep climb!!!!! Mctaf charged for his shiny new shoes.
The raffle was won by Tutti and Helmet. Awards: the donger went to Weed , something about him being so busy he can't fulfil his "nocturnal duties."
Announcements: Weed has opened a pool to guess the number of regos for the Red Dress run. $1 for each guess. The next Little Mulgrave will be held on the 19/04 from the Mountain View Hotel. And the Harriettes Lunch is full, also the Hammersley lunch too.
ON ON CRUNCHY

Run 1691
090309 Tackle

Run 1690
020309
Superstalks Brooom
Everyone admired the new Hash car named 'Brooom' garaged at Supa's address but soon realised that it really wasn't for our use. Most of the hashers set off on the promised (or was that threatened) extended run, except for Crunchie Crack who was carrying an injury, or so she said. Methinks she was conserving her energy to serve the Circle as GM because Betty Boop had lost her voice somewhere on the cycle ride during the weekend with McTaff, (Wot the!) A few of the walkers (the one's with great intelligence and cunning) turned 'on home' about half way, while the other adventurers carried on into the 'wild, blue yonder'.
Helmet assisted Crunchie Crack in the circle and McTaff served the drinks.
Run Report: Nom-de-Plume charged Supa because the run was too long and no drinkstop - a minus 3 was awarded.
Returnees: Maid Marion, Ingrid and Concrete Rod
Charges: McTaff for having sympathy ? ?; Betty Boop for a sore arse; Crunchie Crack for sore knee - what a collection! Concrete Rod, just for being here. Tanx for non-hash attire. Ingrid and Nom-de-Plume for talking in the circle, Tackle for something to do with Ginger Beer and of course, Twisty for talking in the circle.
That Much charged Carnt for getting lost on the way to Super's so Carnt charged That Much for bad navigation - nice to keep it all in the family! Oh yes, and Big Bazza for talking in the circle!
Lo-profile award to DoDo.
Awards: Run of the Month - McTaff Lump of Lard to someone who was complaining about the Ginger Beer. Double donger: ManuManu for turning his back on the circle - sacrilege - and also for not calling 'On on" to others on the run! Prick of the week: to Supa, just because.

On, on................Tutti

Run 1689
230209 Tool box
Toolboxes run from Henley Street Park 23rd February
It was a motley crew that gathered in the park with trepidation at the possible threat of storms that night, some more prepared than others with umbrellas in tow. The hare was noticeable absent having been called in to work with Manu Manu being rushed in as a stand in hare. The pack was called to order by the new old GM and Manu Manu told us that he had rechecked the trail and it was mostly still there and to use his own words “If you can’t find it you need to get a guide dog”. As we headed off these parting words must have played on a couple of hashers minds because at the first check and after we had headed up a false trail a certain hasher was heard to call “On On” which led to another hasher that practices the same profession after saying “Look there’s an arrow” to also call “On On”
Now I have always heard that “Justice is Blind” well this was the proof. The arrow in question was no more than a scrape mark in the tarmac. The run continued until we finally ran out of trail along side a creek just west of Mulgrave Rd. Most of the pack could smell the beer by then (or was it KFC) and took the shortest root home. Numerous comments were heard from the pack as it reformed back at the park with “Custer saw more bloody arrows at Little Big Horn than I saw tonight” one of the more repeatable ones. The pack was called to order by a somewhat damp GM and called for a Run report from Pendinga: shit run, lack of trail was a big issue as the rain had washed away most of the trail, confusing both runners and walkers alike and then came more rain. We all huddled together for the circle while the heavens opened and tried to steel the show, but as always the show most go on.
Charges were a plenty bit sadly time has dulled my memory but here goes.
Manu Manu for the Hare
Carnt and -------- for not coming to hash due to the cleansing diet that they were both on to get fit for Nash Hash.
Toolbox, Carnt & ------- for being returnees
Prickle Magnet for squeaky shoes.
Nom De Plume for some thing or other.
The charges were by this time getting harder to control as the rain had now turned into a torrential downpour.
Toolbox came to the rescue with great nosh.
The prick of the week was deservedly awarded to the Hare for his shit run.
On On: Scribed by Helmet

Run 1688
160209
Out with the old- in with the new
Auspiciously the run this week was the same as last weeks. We could have done it blind folded. The excuse was that we needed to be present and alert for the election of the new committee. Prior matters first. Weed published details of his odyssey by way of email. It appeared he visited every second drinking establishment in Cairns in the space of a Saturday morning and early afternoon. He awoke in Palm Cove and wondered if it was Superman or Doctor Who that got him there. Tackle has signed on to help Weed visit the other drinking establishments this Saturday. We commend Tackle for his concern for Weed and his health and we know that Tackle won’t drink on this adventure. Spock turned up to advise that Nash Hash numbers should soon exceed 800 and we should ask for another $25,000 from the Queensland Government so we can piss it all up against a wall. Good stuff.
To the election, what these notes are all about. Firstly the outgoing committee presented themselves for a down down. This was good information for those hashers who didn’t know we even had a committee and good information for those who suspected we had a committee but didn’t have a clue who was on it. Elections duly took place under the Gerrymander- Hare Clark- Robert Mugabe polling system. Tackle and Not Yet, in charge of booze. Hurray. Tutti Frutti in charge on money. Supplements the pension. Assistants No Gat and No Knickers- pensioners in waiting. Betty Boop as Grand Mattress, an official title which means ‘haranguer’.
Assistant GM’s, Crunchy Crack and Helmet- haranguers in training. On Sec- not filled- the position was forgotten about. Haberdash- Prickle something- should do a good job provided she can find the haberdash that Tanx lost. Religious Adviser, SuperStalk. Has the cum gargler naming rights. Hare Raiser. Can’t remember his name, he doesn’t know our names. New to Cairns. Hash mismanagement or brilliance again. Innisfail correspondent. Do Do. Will send in communications by banana truck.
That’s all I can remember.
On On Farcanal

Run 1687
090209 Kneetrembler

Run 1686
020209 McTafe, Old cementary

Run 1685
260109
Australia Day Breakfast, then lunch, then dinnnerrr

Run 1684
190109 White-a-While

Run 1683
120109 Not Yet 1 Solomans Close

Run 1682
050109 Pullthrough 51 Carnation Drive

Run 1681
291208 Oops 114 Woodward

Run 1680
221208 PRO Ross & Locke , Little Mulgrave River, Gordonvale (camping)

Run 1679
151208 Mole` 14 Poolwood Road, Kewarra Beach (pool)

Run 1678 Christmas Run
091208

Run 1677 December the 8th
Host Hare: Carnt at Brinsmead
Spectacular Laser show and a dip in the pool followed by the circle at 19.15hrs
Run report by Manu Manu for the runners, reported to be a superior run shame the entire arrows where on the wrong side of the road!! Given .9/10 and followed by Kotexs report from the walkers that it was a walk up hills and down valleys and given a 3/10. Reminder by Weed about the 1700 run which was coming up and suggestions where made to make it the June long week end and that we would require a sub committee to organise event, any suggestions bring them in. Reminded about the Christmas party on 9th which by the time you read this will have been and gone. We require a Hash Booze for 2 weeks in January – any takers.
We heard about Pros adventures while setting the ball breaker run with Spock, we understand they got lost despite having a GPS and that Spock is still traumatise by the whole event which Pro utterly denies.
Reminded that the Little Mulgrave Run will be on December the 21st same place same time.
Our virgins: were Rob and Narilee and returnees Handbrake, SOS, Screwier and Kotex.
Betty and Crunchie charged for showing up but not participating in the run – other charges where Screw Up for stolen shirt, Twisted Sister for joining the ranks of the employed, Super Stork for wasting Hash booze and Not Yet for feeling up Twisted Sister.The awards for the night: The big donger went to Kotex, Pro was given the double donger for fucking up and leading Spock astray in the wilderness and weed was presented the lard for the hell of it. Is this a conspiracy! Raffle prizes went to Not Yet and Nonica. Next week’s run1678 - Host Hare: Mole` at Kewarra
Circle finished at 19.45hrs

Run1675
011208 Pendinga 14 Pellowe Street, Clifton Beach

PENDINGA’S PERAMBULATING RUN FROM HIS PAL’S PALACE
Well this run had it all; virgins, returnees, children, dogs, reports on a wedding, a naming and even lost persons! Yes, Prostitute and Mr Spock went meandering on a mountain and in spite of having GPS and Satellite phone, still did not manage to meet at the pick-up rendezvous as arranged – which probably means they had a goodly supply of beer on their trek and it had to be taken care of before surrendering to civilization again. No doubt we will be given a lively report of their adventure at our next run. Most of us managed to find the run address quite easily, except for Tanx and Nogat who were taking in the sights of Kewarra Beach and Clifton Beach and arrived about the same time as No Knickers and Not Yet. A run report was given by James (Twisted Sista’s son) and he reckoned it deserved a 7 – how bad is that, well he is a pom – ‘nuff said! The pool was put to good use after the run, even the dogs enjoyed their new playmates in the water. Kneetrembler gave a brief report on Wallaby’s wedding at Palm Cove. Nosh was simply delicious – a lamb roast with all the trimmings – yummy!
Charges: Did not note down all of the charges but think Twisted Sista tried to charge the runners for not waiting at the ReGroup- how unusual. Nom-de-plume presented the reasonably-normal-sized prick to Kneetrembler for trying to kick her while she was bending down – wot the! Garment of the Month went to Tanx.
Cock-or-two presented Cairns HHH with yet another prick –this one made of marble and very large. Surely we now have an over-supply of these items in our Hash?!? Naming: Son of Two-pots and Buggered was named Joey – this was rather strange as being under 18 he could hardly be considered a hasher, however, imagine the welcome he will receive if he comes back from Japan to one our hash runs in about 15 years time!
Virgins: Sandra (friend of Cock-or-two) and Jen (wife of Cock-or-two). Returnees: Leana and James (from England), Toolbox, Cock-or-two, Buggered and little 3 year old son of Two-pots and Buggered.. Raffles won by James and Crunchie Crack. (Must say that the win must have come as a big surprise for CC because a misinterpretation of CC actually owing Hash $4 she received four raffle chances and had a win – guess CC owes us $8 now).
Anniversaries: Wait-a-While 370; Twisted Sista 340; Kneetrembler 340 and of course our hare Pendinga 370. Have made a note that in future anniversaries will only be presented to the circle if achieving a fifty, hundred, or hundreds-and-fifty mileage - the way it always used to be – all those in favour say Aye!
On, on………….Tutti

Run 1674
241108 Bumper Sticker Moowooga Street, Earlville

Run 1973
171108 Tanx BBQ Area, Centenary Lakes
Tanx’s Tangle with the Red Arrow Trail

That all the notes – except that a good time was had by all!!!

On on Tanx

Run 1672
101108 Big Bazza
Run 1669 or something like that
.At least that is what it said on the board but according to Tutti nothing is what it seems. Returnees were Prik Doctor, Big Bazza , Dodo from Innisfail and Bumper Sticker. Shame on the 3 committee members who failed to show up. Were they scared of the full moon? Nevertheless a good time was had by all at Crunchies 24th birthday bash. Betty Boop adorned with her new spectacles kicked off the evening. Betty Boop looked just too intelligent for a hash GM! Tanx gave the report and he was quite complementary about the standard of marking but had to inform everyone that waterproof chalk simply does not work. The birthday girl ended up with a mere 1-5. Hash booze was conspicuous by his absence especially as he entrusted his very important role to Chopper and Wait-a-While. Bad move Tackle! The venue at the Cape York was interesting especially as the fire alarm kept going off due to Big Bazza, s efforts on the barbecue. It was suggested that the alarm was merely responding to all the hasher’s very hot bodies in such a confined space. The birthday girl celebrated 55 runs. Manu Manu 21, Not Yet 79 and Moffel 20. Charges were laid on Not Yet by Twisted for too many stops and regroups and for encouraging Nogat to go with her. Not Yet and Pro were charged for running by the bars at the Pier and socialising with a drunk on crutches along the way. From then on in the fire alarm went off every 5 minutes and Cory and Manu Manu got the blame for this. Pro was charged for standing up and having a beer in his hand.
Betty was charged for claiming that the run would be cultural but was unaware that the art and ceramics display had already closed. Hashers being cultural !!!! Dream on Betty Boop!! The highlight of the evening was the reported arrest of Oops for climbing on the roof of the soon to be demolished yacht club. It was subsequently revealed that she had climbed onto the rotten part of the roof OOPS!!!! Chopper charged the GM for having new glasses and Cory was again charged by Bumper for his lost property. That Much was charged for driving a new Mercedes. Still not off the hook Oops was again charged in her absence for being a media tart on channel 10, claiming to represent 11,000 people but worst of all she failed to wear her hash gear on the roof. Shame on you Oops! Crunchy was charged for wearing thongs. Knee Trembler awarded the double donger to the birthday girl and Knee Trembler was awarded the prick of the week by Bumper for winning the coveted nosh of the month award and modelling the nosh gear around town. I can’t remember who got the lard of the week.
On on Bumper Sticker

Run 1671
031108 Tackle & Wait-a-While
Run by Wait a While, nosh by Chef Tackle
Great to see the combined efforts of the 2 boys. Not that there is anything wrong with that!!
Wait a While introduced the run and was complemented on his shiny hair which was especially polished for the occasion. A vote was taken for hash booze for the night as the usual culprit Was that especially for the pommes Tackle? Mole gave the run report. Directions were good and it went on and on-on-on-on and on. She went on to accuse him of having no regroups and had to be corrected by Knee Trembler who remembered 1. The walkers missed the drink stop at Wait a While’s due to packing up too early. According to That Much the walkers went down the road and up the road, having lost but refound the trail. Not a great deal of intellect was shown by the walkers this evening!! The 2 hares congratulated each other with a cuddle. Not that there is anything wrong with that! Knee trembler imparted some news regarding a hasher by the name of Wallaby who had been in Japan and was soon to be married in MacKay. We all wished her well and hoped that her would be W.H.S.O. husband had done a risk assessment on her for his sake. It was suggested that Knee Trembler gave them his Rolls Royce as a wedding present but we gave them a hash hymn instead and appointed some look alike brides to be.
Returnees were Mctaff, Spock and bouncer?? I am sure they were there last week but been as how I lost my notes I don’t really know. Dodo was also a returnee, spelling DODO (thanks for that Tutti). Is she trying to say some thing about Bumper Stickers spelling?????? Anniversaries went to Betty Boop-420 runs
Knee trembler- 395 Nogat-120 Weed-465
Weed charged Pendinga for being a media tart especially as he was such a high-ranking officer of hash and for calling No Knockers by her real name tonight. Twisted stood in for oops as look-alike due to her numerous recent media displays. Betty Boop charged Knee Trembler for having a Roller and still on the subject of cars someone decided to charge bumper for being a bumper sticker on cars??? Nosh of the month was won by Crunchy the birthday girl. Pro could remember what the lard of the month was for and apologised for all the cat hairs it had collected. Can’t remember who got it but everyone agreed that Non de Plume should have got as she sat in the reclining chair all evening!!! Tit of the week went to Pendinga. Current birthdays include That Much, Weed, and Mole on behalf of Weed and the raffles went to Mole and guess who, Weed!!
On on Bumper Sticker

Run 1670 Twisted Sister
271008

Run 1669
201008
MANU MANU’S MAGNANIMOUS MEANDERINGS
Confused hashers gathered on the corner of Fairview and Anderson, as scheduled but it was decided that although the run was to start from there, because of there being too many nosey neighbours in that area, nosh and circle would be held at Henley Park after the run. (Park next to KFC, Earlville to the uninformed)
A well ‘Fijian-style marked trail seemed to fool most of the pack that mistakenly ran up a hill into a Close – obviously the arrows were to be ignored – eventually they all got onto trail and approached the dreaded railway bridge crossing, only to find there was a convenient walkway provided……………..however, this also was a false trail – what a shame. Pro was charged with leading the pack astray but most finally managed to find their way back. A good run but it only earned 1/10.
Returnees: Mc Taff. No visitors, no Virgins!!1!
Charges to Twisted Sista and Nogat for misbehaving (?) over food.
McTaff for questioning the strange X mark in a circle (maybe really be a Fijian fertility sign). Not Yet, for arguing (is that so unusual?). Twisted Sista took the charge for Weed ‘for not being here’ – a little strange that we haven’t seen him since he won the ‘Snake in the Juice’ at Screwer’s Run….hmmm!
Manu Manu had to take a charge from an absent Fijian, via McTaff, namely Charlie Eaton, who doesn’t have a road from the Fijian airport named after him, it was named after his Father! (what a lot of useless info, I reckon!) Tanx and McTaff had to take a shared charge for somethingorother with Manu Manu and Big Bazza named them Curly, Larry and Mo.
Awards: Crumbs, Crunchie has introduced yet another award - was it named ‘The Soft Touch’ or ‘Boob’ …not sure, but it is in the rather petite form of a breast…what more can I say except don’t know why it was given to Pro. Double D was awarded to Twisty …….well, why not! Bumper Sticker got the ‘Lard’ award for some reason Raffles won by Not Yet and Tackle.
On, on………………TTF

Run 1668 Crunchie
131008
Hope you had a happy birthday
Run 1669 or something like that .At least that is what it said on the board but according to Tutti nothing is what it seems. Returnees were Prik Doctor, Big Bazza , Dodo from Innisfail and Bumper Sticker.
Shame on the 3 committee members who failed to show up. Were they scared of the full moon? Nevertheless a good time was had by all at Crunchies 24th birthday bash. Betty Boop adorned with her new spectacles kicked off the evening. Betty Boop looked just too intelligent for a hash GM!
Tanx gave the report and he was quite complementary about the standard of marking but had to inform everyone that waterproof chalk simply does not work. The birthday girl ended up with a mere 1-5.
Hash booze was conspicuous by his absence especially as he entrusted his very important role to Chopper and Wait-a-While. Bad move Tackle! The venue at the Cape York was interesting especially as the fire alarm kept going off due to Big Bazza, s efforts on the barbecue. It was suggested that the alarm was merely responding to all the hasher’s very hot bodies in such a confined space
The birthday girl celebrated 55 runs. Manu Manu 21, Not Yet 79 and Moffel 20.
Charges were laid on Not Yet by Twisted for too many stops and regroups and for encouraging Nogat to go with her. Not Yet and Pro were charged for running by the bars at the Pier and socialising with a drunk on crutches along the way.
From then on in the fire alarm went off every 5 minutes and Cory and Manu Manu got the blame for this. Pro was charged for standing up and having a beer in his hand.
Betty was charged for claiming that the run would be cultural but was unaware that the art and ceramics display had already closed. Hashers being cultural !!!! Dream on Betty Boop!!

The highlight of the evening was the reported arrest of Oops for climbing on the roof of the soon to be demolished yaught club. It was subsequently revealed that she had climbed onto the rotten part of the roof OOPS!!!!
Chopper charged the GM for having new glasses and Cory was again charged by Bumper for his lost property. That Much was charged for driving a new Mercedes
Still not off the hook Oops was again charged in her absence for being a media tart on channel 10, claiming to represent 11,000 people but worst of all she failed to wear her hash gear on the roof. Shame on you Oops!
Crunchy was charged for wearing thongs.
Knee Trembler awarded the double donger to the birthday girl and Knee Trembler was awarded the prick of the week by Bumper for. winning the coveted nosh of the month award and modelling the nosh gear around town.
I can’t remember who got the lard of the week.

On ON bumper sticker

The fishing was good on Frazer and the weather was perfect in Fiji

Run 1667
061008
Screwer’s Stupendous Stroll

Maid Marion gave the walkers report on the run: very boring walk, drink stop was a water tap in a park, then straight on home from the DS. Christmas party – c’mon people, get your brains into gear and think of something!!
Charges: Maid Marion for interrupting the circle when four cockroaches ran over her feet, Please Explain for TRYING to get out of note taking, Tanx for not managing to sell Please Explain a Hash Shirt.
Notices: Hariettes Wednesday 29th October at the home of The Duchess. (where we are tonight)
Hash circle conversation emulated the house of parliament ‘bull s*@#’ said Manu Manu. “Junior Mattress speaking” Returnees – Gangbang – Mr Spock drank with him. Hair-raiser needs more hares – please oblige Knee Trembler!!! Awards: Double Donger to Knee Trembler. Lard of the Week to Pull Through – put on some weight mate!! Little C… to maid Marion for complaining about cockroaches. Run of the Month to Knee Trembler Charge to Weed for – nothing – no hang on just so Knee Trembler has someone to drink with!!
Raffles – Wait-A-While, Manu Manu and the Elixir of Life – a Vietnamese snake wine was won by Weed.
Next run Crunchy’s Birthday Run at the Cape York Hotel
On On Please Explain

Run 1666
290908 Kneetrembler
Run report….. Is there a run report??
Well I thought it was pretty good!! Thanks Kneetrembler

Run 1665
220908 Bumper Stikher
Bumper’s Beautiful Bumble
About 25 hashers met on a balmy night at the Moowooga Street home of Bumper Stikher. The run got underway after the late arrival of Weed who said he had hoped we had all left on the run!!! The run was a well marked (after the initial part) walk/run around the streets of Earlville. On our return Missing Link, one of four visitors for the night (who we didn’t manage to lose as they were not American) gave a run report in the form of the S-H-I-T-T-Y R-U-N song and awarded it a score of 2.5!! Nogat was asked to give a “down down” for the Hare, after many Why are we Waiting!! Bumper managed to get her beer down only to be told to GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN! in the form of a ditty by Molé. Our illustrious GM charged Weed for giving her a hat which had given her “Hat Hair” – unforgivable. Molé announced the Cairns Harriette’s run on Wednesday 24 September and also the Harriette’s lunch on Sunday 28 September at Kanis on the Esplanade.
GM announced the FNQH AGM will be held on Thursday 25 September at the Cape York Hotel. This will be followed by a General Meeting.
Christmas Party – Who? Why? What? Where? – think about what we want to do and give all ideas to the GM as soon as you think of them!!!
Junior Mattress introduced our four visitors, Missing Link, Helmet, CBD and Caroline. Returnee was Please Explain and because he can not drink alone he was joined by Nogat who had been away “for ever” until his return last week!! Anniversaries: Screwer - 260 runs. Bumper Stikher - 30 runs. Wait – a – while - 460 runs.
Charges from the run followed with Hemet & Caroline charged for PDA, Weed charged Molé for interrupting him when he was trying to charge “someone,” Bumper Stikher charged the absent Copper for having possession of an inadequate Hash Marker, Twisted Sister was picked as Chopper’s look-alike!! Molé charged Bumper Stikher for no drink stop when she had said there was one!!! Tanks was charged for coming to Hash “all dressed up” Double Donger was awarded to SuperStork for having the nerve to chat up two different females on the run. The lard went to Pull Thru because he needs the extra weight more than any of us!! SOS awarded Beeps another appendage because he had seen the DS sign and failed to stop!!! The P…. of the Week award went to Beeps for “abandoning hash clothing” at Weed’s place last week. Raffle was won by Twisted Sister & Caroline.
On – On MOFL

Run 1664 Weed
150908
Weed’s wandering bush trail
Betty Boop made it clear that Hash waits for no one!!!!! And she dutifully introduced the hairy hare Weed. Betty Boop also made it clear that she needed assistance with the notes as she cannot think and write at the same time??????? Say no more!!!!!! Twisted gave the run spiel and she reported a distinct lack of snakes much to everyone’s disappointment????? Hence he was awarded a mere 4 out of 10. A second run report was given by Pro. It was very long. Mole assisted with the navigation and they actually found the drink stop this week. Well-done guys. Despite this a _4 was attained. Superstalk added congratulations to Weed for arranging the hillsides to be burned off for us. Weed then proceeded to take forever and ever to drink his hare beer. Betty Boop announced that we might have a Xmas run in combination with Trinity Hash. This was applauded by all as a means of GALVANISING?????? with Trinity Hash. How could we stoop so low!!!!!!!!!
Several places were suggested and the favoured choice was the brothel. Funny that! The Harriett’s champagne lunch is no longer at the Casino due to restaurant closure. At least that is what they said. They were actually scared of us!!!!! AGM provisionally at the Brewery i.e. Nash Hash AGM Saturday 27th in the morning ????
Returnees were Bumper Sticker, Spread’m and That Much and a special welcome back to Nogat who has returned from a long trip overseas. Tutti celebrated a 370th run and ended up with most of her beer on her hair.
Charges were aimed at Twisted for being a media tart along with Woops. Bumper Sticker was charged due to the colour of her eyes. And SOS for running late. Everyone was charged for failing the intelligence test of finding the end of Moore Rd. Wait a While was charged for loosing his mobile phone on the way to hash.
Tackle passed his limp dick onto someone else and Non de Plume was charged for not wearing hash gear and going to the amateurs dressed up but not in hash gear. Pro joined in as someone said he had a great beard.
Raffles went to Mole and the usual argument/discussion ensued regarding red or white wine. Meanwhile Tackle donated a special prize of a Casey Chambers cap signed by the star herself. Tutti completed the evening by bravely telling a joke. Oh and nosh was great!!. Chef Weed cooked a very impressive chicken stir-fry, cooked no less to order. This was ENHANCED???? By Pendingas chilli sauce, which was, shall we say memorable. Great taste or rather more of a pain sensation!!!! On on Bumper Sticker

080908 Not Yet
Notes………. What notes?

Run1662
010908 Tackle
Notes………. What notes?

Run 1661
250808 Nom Dr Plume
Supa Stalk and S.O.S. forgotten fishing spot bronze medal run
A moderate pack gathers at Chez Stalk’s abode on a coolish evening. The pack were sent on their way by Mr Stalk closely followed by spawn of Stalk who gave nothing away about where the trail went or anything else for that matter. Poe faced he remained but stuck with the pack he did. The runners went one direction and the walkers the other. Down through the streets of Stratford the walkers wended and along train tracks and scrub. Where the runners went only the runners ca say. The walking pack found their way to a forgotten fishing spot (well forgotten by Corey anyway). Magnificent views of the Barron River were enjoyed as we supped on out drink stop. Back through the streets of dark Stratford the walkers trudged. Still, the runners were not seen, but Mole` assures scribe they were there. Corey awarded the walkers run 4/10. returning runner McTAff awarded the runners run 2/10 because 4/5ths of the pack nicked off and left him to blunder about in the dark, which left him no choice but to end up window shopping at Zabu Furniture shop (without Boopy). Charges to Corey for pretending to run to impress the Hash. No Knickas for the really lame Hash Ball report. Maid Marion kept her company because no Harriette should drink alone. Betty Boop for trying to hide the fact that she had not drunk out of her now not so new red shoes. McTaff for gaining his nautical certificate and promptly getting lost on the run. Weed for being Weed. Double Donger to SOS because he is a Wait a While lal eve though he is younger, taller, leaner runs 3 times more than WAW and has more hair. Raffle to Crunchie rack and weed Returnees Mctaff, Nom de Plume
ON On Betty Boop

Run 1660
180808 That Much

The other week the Lard of the week award surfaced from some deep dark depths of hashdom. The inaugural award was presented by Tackle to Corey for consistently being the youngest hasher and consistently sitting down each week.

Run 1659
110808

Supa’s supercilious stroll circling Stratford

Hash came, hash went and hash conquered – Straford that is – no other notes this week but a great run. Lots of great food from Supa stalk ‘s better half. Returnees, charges and other things happened

Run 1658
040808
Coin Slot’s Communal Run
Despite the absence of the hare and the host for a while (TRUE WAIT –A -WHILE STYLE), everything went very well due to a true team effort which culminated in an evening to be remembered.
Super ‘s run report complemented the exceedingly well-marked trail. Unfortunately we lost the virgins after 5 minutes and he was disappointed that the drain was not full of water. The drink stop was good and even seating on 2 luxurious lounge suites was provided. Coin slot ended up with a mere 2 as some arrows faced in the wrong direction. She should have organised the boys better. Anyway Supers report, which went on and on eventually ended and Twisted gave the walkers report. Much briefer thank god! It was round there ,up there and felt like 2 hours because it was boring. This was actually a ploy by the so-called team who did not budge from home- base so they could cook for longer. Yeah sure! Drink more, more like!! Wait-a –While apologised for the flat nature of his suburb! Coin slot got a 3 as she always does great nosh. Which later proved to be the case.
Chopper who eventually owned up to being the substitute hare, accepted all the positive prays but none of the negative.!!
Virgins were Hectar, Susan and Rika.
Returnees come visitors were Lovelace and Deep Throat. Also returning were Stubby and Screwer.
Mole announced operation uplift something to do with Hariettes taking off their bras for charity???? Tackle offered to donate his jocks but no one took him on.
The Hash ball is ON ON see you there 7pm sat bring a plate.
Twisted charged Pro for charging out of sequence or was it the other way round. Either way Pro did return the double donger. After what he called much cogitating??? He decide to give it to Crunchy as he looked really cute and sexy in her boots however he changed his mind and gave it to Wait- a-While for working during hash. Wait- a -While will no doubt return this prestigious award safe and sound after having the honour of receiving it! That means he has to turn up next week!
Mofl got the nosh of the month and ended up keeping the outfit at home much to her disappointment.
Two Tit Fruitti charged Cori for running and showing off. Chopper, Twisted and Mole had mobile phone issues and I am not sure who ended up charging whom.
Betty Boop belatedly charged Tackle for not looking after his equipment (cooking!). Tanks tried to charge Super for his appearance on the front page of the Cairns Post but this had to reversed, as really there was very little resemblance.
Chopper muttered something about keys and swapping and of course was charged for not properly explaining the philosophy of hash to his friend.
Pro and Knee Trembler won the raffles
Stubby entertained us with a few jokes. Well-done Stubby!!!!!

Some extra info from Bumper!!
It has come to my attention that there are always more runners than walkers and that some hashers ARE NOT EVEN WALKING AT ALL!!
Does everyone realise the goals of hash? Do you know that if you expend 40,000 kilojoules of energy you will loose 1KG of body fat! That is a lot of fat.
To put this into hash perspective 9 hours of running is required to loose 1 KG of body fat.
Walking 22 hours
Sitting 80 hours
Foreplay with a hasher 378 KJ /hour -so too much to calculate/endure
Sexual activity with a hasher 1154 KJ/hour-data irrelevant due to difficulty with definition of activity.
So in short revise the hash goals if you wish to keep off those kilos.
On On Bumper

1657
280708
Run no. 1658 or something!
Maid Marion made it to hash.
Well Betty Boop actually showed up this week and made some feeble excuse blaming her abs cense on some sort of amnesia.
Superstalk gave an interesting run report. He enjoyed the croc-infested swamp, the high tide and the lack of moon. As the run was well mapped he gave Maid Marion a whopping 9/10 but later reduced this to a 2 as no one was taken by a croc!
Two Tit Fruitti gave the walkers report which she felt was rather long especially as she had a stone in her shoe most of the way. However she claimed the walk was very enjoyable.
We welcomed the Korean visitors Linda, Min and Beau as virgins.
Returnees were Crunchy. Betty Boop, Big Basil, Sodonme and Tanks.
An anniversary went to No Knickers for her 560th run.
The main announcements were pertaining to the ball, which is still under subscribed. Pro reminded everyone about the little Mulgrave hash and Mole suggested that hashers took part in the cancer crusade.
Superstalk referred everyone to an interesting article on hash in China out of the latest Time Magazine.
Knee Trembler asked for hashers to volunteer as hares for the national hash next year. 2 hares per run are needed.
Weed charged Tackle for having germ phobia as his hash booz mugs were too clean!
Weed had a busy night as he also charged Betty Boop for being away for 2 weeks and Mofl and Pullthrough for something else.
Prick of the week should have gone to Knee Trembler for forgetting Twisted,s cider but he is not yet forgiven for loosing the last one so it went to Sodonme as his dog was not under control.
The double donger went to pro to ensure that he came back next week.
There were lots of raffle prizes thanks to Betty Boop. The lucky recipients were dead ringer, Tackle, Tanks, Weed and Far Canal.
We all tucked into a warming barbecue!
On on Bumper

Run 1656
210708
Mofl, s meandering maze
Once again the walkers outnumbered the runners. Chopper’s critical assessment of the run awarded a 3/10 due to the lack of markings, which he reconned, should be 400 metres apart. Both the hare and assistant hare were coerced into drinking copious amounts of orange and chardonnay for their sins.
Weeds walkers report was much more gentle. Quite pleasant with an easy trail as everyone simply followed the assistant hare. Good on you Cory!
Weed then proceeded to make some very confusing announcements, which we eventually were able to translate as –
On august 3rd at 4pm there will be a Cancer Crusade run of 3-5km at a cost of $ per person. He also advised us of a motorbike ride on Sunday with the Cancer Council ‘from somewhere to somewhere else’????
All were urged to book and pay deposits for the hash ball, which is currently looking a bit, thin on numbers.
Visitors /virgins were Louis and Dan from Kiwiland and returnees were Xrated, Chopper, Handbrake, That Much and Carnt.
Anniversaries –
Xrated 20
Chopper 130
Carnt 50
Happy birthday to Carnt for last Monday
Raffles were won by Superstalk and Two Tit Fruitti.
Charges from Twisted went to Weed for J-walking which he instantly reversed as New Zealanders follow like sheep and X rated followed him half way as she is from Yorkshire. Not Yet charged the assistant hare for not using waterproof chalk and Weed charged him for not wearing the lovely orange garment on the run.
The highlight of the evening was the look on Twisted,s face when she was awarded the brand new toy. Hell of a toy!!!!! Well-done Tackle!
Tasty nosh thanks Mofl
On on bumper sticker

Run 1655
140708
Pros remote run
No Nogat, no Mole, no Tutti, no Tanks, no virgins and no visitors but 9 were there and a good time was had by all.
Well it was a bit of a hike to get there but we all enjoyed our walk/run and especially sitting around the fire munching a sausage sizzle.
Knee Trembler reported that he enjoyed his run, be it alone, even although he had to miss tracking.
Returnees were Bumper Sticker, Far Canal and Cory.
Pro was charged for having false trails through cane paddocks and Twisted charged Tackle for being late.
Pro charged Twisted for patting a dog on the head in the pub and scarring the poor beast away.
Charges were a bit scarce as we ran out of people to charge. Everyone wished Tackle a happy 66th birthday for tomorrow.
Mofl got the low profile award.
Cory wore the nosh of the month attire on behalf of Mole and he is looking forward to dressing the jacket up for next week.
Everyone commented on the distinct lack of hash apparel and Tackle took it on board to purchase some new tasteful????? items.
On on Bumper Sticker

Run 1654
070708

CHHH Committee excels themselves on a fantastic run of the year run.
Chef tackle serves the best nosh. ………
Hare Knee Trembler sets the best run (and then pisses off)…………….
Gm and JJM betty Boop and crunchie Crack run a blistering circle……………..
And World peace was achieved, although briefly, if just in Edge Hill for 1 hour…………….

Obviously not real notes this week. If you want real notes then someone has to do them and email them to this cairnshash@yahoo.com.au before the weekend otherwise you will get these sort of notes.
Had some visitors and returnees and lots of charges but I have no idea who they were.

Great photos though!!!

Don’t’ forget the coming events

Run 1653
300608
No Gat desperately needs more trial
These notes are only very brief because I was quite busy at the run last night - not only did I have to collect run monies, collect money for the Ball, pay Innot Hot Springs debts, cash to Tackle for ice, rite the raffle tickets, but most of all had to chat to lots of people (very important), and then had to take a down-down for having done loads of runs....................I don't know, a harriette has to very versatile!
Run 1654 - Tanx at Trinity Links Resort, Woree 30th June 2008
Visitors: Bushbasher, Nunny, Fakaree - all from Bribie Island Returnees: Stubby, Bumper Sticker
Anniversaries: Twisted Sista, Tutti Frutti Charges: Tanks for an inaccessible run ? Nogat for something ? Manu Manu for not checking trail. Bumper Sticker for wearing posh hash gear. Reverse charge on Twisted Sista from Manu Manu because he had left his lights on, No Knickers stand-in for Super Stork for getting a lift. Bodsa/McCavity for being Americans that had actually returned from a reef trip. Awards: Still no POW shorts (supposed to be presented back to pack from Mr Spock, I believe). Double donger not present. Floppy little prick awarded by Twisted Sista to (I think) Manu Manu. Hey, I was busy chatting!!!! Important Note: Money for Ball - we must have 30 people having paid their $10.00 by 29th July, 2008, so that we can obtain the venue. If we achieve the required 30 regos, the cost after the 29th will be $15.00.
ON ON Tutti Frutti

Run 1652
230608 Spreadem
Spread’em place: 33 Gilmore Street Bentley Park
Spread’em shortest run….
A pack of 28 gathered on a cool winters evening at Spread’em abode.
It was really a recovery run from Innot Hot Springs weekend away for those who attended and played up badly.
Pull Through gave the run report as being very very short, at the drink stop before you knew it and didn’t even get a sweat up going home. He scored it a -2 out of 10 for the walkers report. The runners report by Mr Beep was more generous with a 9. He thought it was a good run but very disappointed. Overall 7/10.
Hash Ball money by 9th August for $10 ahead up to a week prior then it will be $15 ahead.
Visitors: Bozda and McCavity from USA and Piethagra? from Townville.
Return runners: Cory and Animal.
Virgin: Daniel
Daniel was also a stand in look alike for xrated that has done 20 runs.
A big thank you went out to Betty Boop, Crunchy, Mole and Tackle for all the time and work they put in for Innot Hot Springs. Week done guys, I wish I would of made it to dinner.
Charges: Weed bringing an unpaid guest in his jogger being a cane toad and Koty for not helping More Beer to pay for the weekend. Spread’em for a short run.
Charges for Innot Hot Springs: Wait a while not attending but having an ambo on hand from his last accident in the shower 5 years ago.
Animal having the wrong date for the weekend off work to come to the Springs. Last time he looked at the net was 3 months ago. Twisted Sister needing saving from being roasted on the fire. Lucky Doctor Bozda was on hand. Kotex drinking to much bubbly and in bed by 8pm. Can’t release gas near the fire. Tackle for taking More Beer under is wing and leading him astray at the pub. Weed sneeking off for an afternoon siesta before the run. Betty Boop leaving her bra at the pub signed on the bull horns above the bar.
Twisted Sister leaving dints in the ground from falling over. No de Plum also helping her change into her pjs. Weed was the stand in look alike and for the chuck she had on the run.
The double donger went to Pull Through for keeping a low profile.
The Prick to Twisted Sister for advertising her has name on a product in the sex shop.
Birthday drink for Tutti Fruity for trying to hide the fact she had a birthday.

Raffles won by Twisted Sister and Moofle Moofle?
1650 tee shirts for sale $16.50ea.

On On Koty

Run 1651
160608 Mole`
Only the Best
Would have to be one of the best runs EVER.
The trail markings where textbook, an example on how a trail should be laid.
A magical mix of shiggie and road.
Proportional superb combination of beach and hills.
Not too long but long enough for the runner to stretch out and the walker to have a good chat.
A stoically deserved 9 out of 10

And on top of all this “A Naming”, arise S(pawn ) O(f) S(upa)

On-On Spouse of Mole`

Run 1650
220608 Yet to happen

Let’s just say, what happens away, stays away
If you went you know, if not, you missed a very good camping weekend, torn jeans and all

Run1649
060608 Queen Kotex Shines on the Queens birthday
Run 165 something?
Sad to say that Betty Boops little green lantern has died and she had to resort to her whistle. Distracted by this she
committed her first crime of the evening by calling resident note taker Bumper Stikher by her real name.
Kotex was lucky enough to have acquired a plethora of assistant hares, pseudohares and some unmentionable
hares.
Runners report was by Jose (Mrs Pullthrough). The grass was too long and she was disappointed because
Pullthrough didn’t take her for a roll in the grass.
Walkers report by Not Yet also mentioned the rain and wet grass and more to the point no drink stop. Some feeble
excuse about vehicles being unable to access the drink stop. Initially going to be awarded 9/10 this dropped back to
a 4 because of this.
Meanwhile Mole scurried around taking photos with 2 cameras.
Announcements-Numbers needed for Innot
Hash ball Germania Club $10, bring a plate and grog. (Premises also licensed!)
Virgins-Welcome to Shoe the hares Japanese student.
Returnees Weed, Mole, not yet
Anniversaries –Superstalk-127
Charges for the run-
Kotex charged Maid Marian for not accepting her offer of a lift to catch up.
Weed charged Betty Boop for calling Bumper by her real name.
Bumper was charged much to Weeds amusement for incorrectly naming the hare as Fuck It which could have
caused a lot of confusion as he lives at the other side of town.
Non de Plume was Basils Thrushes look alike and was charged for something to do with him being foreign
correspondent and getting no up to date correspondence. How dare Mole and Weed go off on holiday!
McTaff was charged as he was caught on his mobile.
Betty Boop charged McTaff for trying to start his own song and Twisted agreed that that was very annoying!!!
Betty Boop (yes she had a busy night) charged Kotex for not being able to find a drink stop despite having 3 hares.
Two Tit Fruitti charged Nogat for trying to be funny and telling lies.
McTaff made one of his observations and tried unsuccessfully to defend Kotex.
Knee Trembler apologised for his virgins from last week throwing prick of the week into the garbage and was
dutifully charged for losing sacred hash property. One of the little ladies was found going through the garbage looking
for it but neglected to realise that the garbage had been collected 2 days previously.
Great nosh with sweet and sour beef and even cake.

On on Bumper Stikher

Run 1648
020608 Knee Trembler
Hare Raiser Knee Trembler rises to the occasion- Run number 1650?51?
Layed Back’s assessment of the run awarded a whopping 5 out of 10. mainly because he ran out of chalk.
I guess the benchmark for Trinity Hashers is lower than ours. However knee trembler did cop a charge for
letting the hashmen down as he didn’t lie and of course he should know that is his duty!
The walkers report reiterated this with everyone impressed with the hills.
The circle was huge with 4 lovely oriental visitors Kaori, Ava, Gina and Yena who graced us with their presence.
Virgin-Murray (Tanxs sound-a-like)
Returnees-Bouncer, Spock, Hand Maiden, Bevan, X-rayted and Pendinga
Anniversaries-everyone
Two Tit Frutti reminded everyone to pay up for the 1650 Innot Hot Springs as confirmation of numbers needed for nosh.
The Hash ball on 9th August will go ahead if over 30 hashers and friends enlist so deposits please ASAP.
Charges came from Pro for;
the lack of calling
everyone following Superstalk
ignoring signs on Mulgrave Rd
Layed Back was charged, as his short cutting had become an art form!
Layed Back charged Pro for not checking the trail and calling him back. Twisted and Pendinga charged
each other for something to do with trails and Betty Boop caught Spock and Bouncer being affectionate! Love is in the air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charges for the Sunday run went to 2 harrietes Twisted and Nom de Plume for leaving personal effects behind.
Tackle was accused of being a bit slow tonight. Whats new!
Far Canal got the double donger for losing the box and handmaiden reported that it worked better without the box.
Bumper got the nosh of the month. Nice hat ,shame about the orange tent!!
Raffles went to Tanxs and Tackle
Next week at Fuck It 21 Monsoon Terrace, Forest gardens
Trinity at 16 Holly St, Mooroobool (Slappers)
Thanks to Wait-a -While and Nogat for the jokes
On On Bumper

Run1647
260508 Bumper Stikhe

Run 1646
190508 Crunchie Crack

Run 1645
120508 Tackle
HASH HOUSE HARRIERS - NOTES FOR MONDAY 12TH MAY 2008
7pm Betty Boop - Club {residern blows the whistle!!! The Hash discussions have begun for the night.
A mention was made that the run was being set as we arrived. It was noted that it was a piss poor effort however Spock and Tackle tried
hard to run in front of us all and so we all walked behind - runners and walkers together. The walk itself was a good length however!!
Next mention was from the discraced Tackle himself asking for help with the trailer as it is requiring maintenance!! He is going to set a
date for this maintenance weekend at the next Hash meet.
Visitors and virgins were welcomed. Our virgins John and Sue in the process of settling in Cairns from Victoria were introduced to our mad
hashers by the disgraced Spreadem (more about that later!)
Returnees were Big Bazza, Nomde plume, Simone, x rated, Mofel, Tool Box, Manu manu and Chopper!
Celebrations!! Harriettes!!
Nomde Plume has celebrated her 100th run this run!!
and
Maid Marian happy birthday for 2 weeks ago!!
Announcments!!
5th annaugrual run at the Mountain View Hotel for Edmonton Hashers!
Scout camp weekend after nex at Lake Tinaroo. Tent or Buckhouse accommodation.
Inoch Hotel Hotsprings on 21st June, Meet n greet at hotel on Friday Night, see Tackle and Pussy Bob.
9th August - BYO Night Hash Ball - place to be fixed.
Charges
Spreadem is the worst hasher of all time for not being there last week to set the run - she was at work and there was a misunderstanding
of the dates!! - or so she says!!!! Tanks and Betty Boop saved the day with an amazing last minute run set and the best pizzas ever!!
Yay for the president!!
Moonshine, for noticing a couple of spunky muscle bound non hashers walking the opposite direction to the hashers and turning around
and following therm!!
Virgin John for talking on the phone during the run - Spreadem had to drink for him as he said he did'nt know the rules!!
Nomede plume for playing during a hash run!!
Tool box for running with the flu in a big jacket at the front.
Visitor John for looking too comfortable!
Not yet for sneaking off for a piddle half way through the run!
Bumper sticker for the low profile award.
Raffles!!
Spreadem and Bumper sticker!!
Double Donger!
A mention is made that it is well protected with a plastic coating. It is presentedb Not Yet to the cunning buggar Spock. Knee trimbler
who goe track running on a Monday night but shows up for the party later!!

The Prick goes back to bouncer because she didn't bring it!!

Big Bazza stands in for tackle because Tackle has to get the shorts organised for next week!!
The circle is over for this exciting week!!

Run 1644
050508 Spreadem
CRUNCHIES "WING IT, WHAT THE HELL, MAGIC UP A TRAIL AT 4PM RUN" 5/5/08

Well what a memorable night!! What to do, where to go, how to get there. But being the resourceful people that hashers are, it all worked out rather well. Tanx supplied the
map and the informers to tell them where to go (to the Far Kue). So.....amid much where, how and many mobile phone calls to the new abode and venue for the run, the
pack eventually left 3 Capricorn st (even the lost travellers made it to the venue, deep in the depths of Silkwood Ridge, Sugarworld Central, Isabella Pocket.)
Upon the return Georgina was so impressed with the trail, even the hill at the end, that she remained impressed all evening. Ringy gave the runners report 1.75. That Much
gave walkers report. A score of -1.75.
Returnees: B.T, Nook & Cranny, Ringpicker. The return of our visitor Psycho via Yorkshire via Port Moresby.
No virgins or birthdays.
Awards: P.O.W was taken off Spock's fridge by crunchy. Spock awarded it back to Bouncer, cos he likes it on his fridge.
Anniversaries: That Much has achieved 40 runs.
Run of the month: hot contest between Carn't, W.A.W, Chopper and Farcanal. winner was Sargent-at-arms Carn't.
Raffle: Ringy (twice!). What a gentleman ringy is, he gallantly put one back and Bouncer promptly won. Two special prizes, B.T won a special Hash dress wonderfully
modelled by Betty and PussyBob won alovely stylish sweat shirt (lucky man).
Charges: Twisted to Bumper stikher for looking too delectable. Ringy charged newby Cory for being too athletic. PullThru went out for being a Weed look-alike (as her
always gets charged and isn't here). A hymn was sung for Spread 'Em (and tanx) for working instead of organizing more important matters, like setting a hash run.
On On til next time Twisted Sister.

Run 1643
280408 Farcanel Freshwater swiming Hole
FARCANAL'S FRESHWATER FIESTA 27/04/08
Some of the pack still have no idea where the trail went and that was from the pack that went on the run. There was a creek and some hashers gor rather wet. Some
didn't. Some couldn't find and creek or trail. Some just couldn't see any trail at all. I know I couldnt. Except when Farcanal sat on the ice. Everything, everytime. The
pack's eyes collectively winced and some even shed tears when the hare took his down-downs sitting on the ice.
Virgins: Cory and Georgina
Visitors: Moffle from Calgoolie, although she has lived in Cairns for 5 years.
Returnees: Simone (Nommy's sister from Switzerland)
Awards: Double donger went to Farcanal, for being himself. No other bits and pieces this week.
Charges: plenty of these, mostly directed at Farcanal, although Crunchy, Boopy and Not Yet got a look in too.

On on bettyboop xxxxx

Run 1642
210408
GRANDPAS' FULL MOON STRAGIC PLAN
Illustrious mistress Bopy recieved floods of calls "we'e at choppas house, where is he?" "fear not....he's out setting trail". Cripes!!!! must have been SOME trail. Choppa is known to set trail like Pennys'- lenghty, lenghty...and that's for the walkers. A huge pack tonight helped by the appearance of choppas very fit co workers. "i had a strategic plan" announced Choppa, "however when i got the phonecall, that's that. when you run out of trail turn around and come home". Mystery revealed....Choppa is now GRAMPS, courtsey of a little granddaughter, just 1 hour old. On a hash night too!! couldn't be planned better and on a more auspicoius day of the week.
To the trail: it went here and it went there and the runners went here and there some more and apparently it just kept going and going....and going...until it stopped. Even then runners came back well after midnight. er'....7:30. Barely time to be served by lovely young serving wenches with some full moons of their own (according to pro). Supa always finds a charge, cant remember who for, except mostly choppa. i know there were plenty of other charges. especially for our visitors and virgins of the camoflage persuasion. A heinous deed commited by choppa for attempting to electrocute the G.M.( with a joke lighter), the nerve!! All was forgiven by the end of the evening as top nosh was served( thanks tackle for help).Johnny Walker for helping to wet the baby's head ( thanks to nogat for minding Johnny) Thanks to the lovely young things for tolerating the reprobates.
No girlie shorts: New one sfor next week. No Double donger:in hand maidens safe keeping. No Linp dick or P.O.W penny still enjoyingh those.
RAFFLES: no gat and no gat
Thank you choppa for another great night
ON ON xxx Boopy and Crunchie

Run 1641
140408
The Run Started out, turned right, over rail tracks, over little
bridge, into Jungle cane. On On, more jungle cane, pack starting to
spread out, walkers, faster walkers, runners, an open field, ie cut
jungle cane, then back into uncut jungle cane, round and round jungle
cane. Out of jungle cane to drink stop. dark by now, luckily there was a
road, so on home, still a long way. A longish run, hashers were heard to
say over a hard earned thirst, you can get it walking, you can get it
running, you can get it hashing, I've got it now.
Hares Adam, Josh, Chase, (Pendinga?)
Returnees Adam, Pro
Visitors Toolbox and Manu Manu from Fiji
Anniversarys Weed, Tackle, Coin Slot, Superstork, Twotit Fruity,
Crunchy Crack
Charges Pro for wet crutches, Josh for not finishing run
NO double donga, girly shorts
Limp dick That Much gave to Pendinga
Run report by Manu Manu, someone said he doesnt know better

Run 1640
070308
Carnt’s parkridge Paradise
No notes this week, only mug shots but a good time was had by all
Visitors, Returnees , no virgins (sorry Hand maiden), charges, raffles, double donger, run of the month hat and good nosh

Run 1639
310308
Wait-a-while & Coin Slot #1641
MISALIGNED MANUNDA MUSTER
Blessed with the presence of our patron, Sir Meatballs of Edge hill a good pack of 25 gathered at WAW’s where returning runners were served an entrée suspected to be missing from a recently cleaned takeaway shop. Sister Spread’ em gave a stretched runners report of nature themes. Strange locals, dogs, budgies, and toilet frogs. A very excited 5/10 score given. Tackle gave walker’s report. A very slow drink stop, delivering junk mail. -8 gave a final score of -3/10. Magnum gave a Yorkshire down-down song.
Interhash report: complained of the food & or the band & runs, no sweets and lots of fireworks. (apparently lady hashers had their own nosh- which was magnificent).
VISITORS: Magnum and Twilight from Yorkshire H3.
RETURNEES: Spread ‘em, Deadringer, Stubby, Dorothy, X-rated, Do-do.
ANNIVERSARIES: Boopy-351, Deadringer-45, That Much-35, Meatballs-1175, Knee trembler-370.
CHARGES: Penny for horning Twisted sister and X-rated (double donger award). WAW for false drink stops, Big Baz for misleading the pack, to the false drinkstop. LATE CHARGES: BBoop for missing the bus @ interhash, Pendinga for doubling his own ball breaker. Mole for interrupting Weed’s topless adventure. Our RA Pendinga then held a very solemn, sacred naming ceremony for Dorothy- from now on she will be known as Sister Bumper Stikher, and awarded a Yorkshire H3 shirt from magnum.
MORE CHARGES; Weed and Mole for successfully prostituting Cairns Nash Hash @ interhash. RAFFLE; Knee Trembler, Weed, Bettyboop. Girly shorts: Spock (still), Double donger: Handmaiden(still).POW: Spock’s recently sold car (surprise new owners!!) Nosh was lovely corned beef. Rissoles in gravy followed by ice-cream in a cone. (A very clean Takeaway/ tuckshop somewhere)
On On Sod On Me

Run 1638
240308
Sodonme's walkers fail the intelligence test.
It was Easter Monday which is no excuse but for some reason the walkers ended up doing the runners trail. Someone failed to differentiate between left and right and everyone missed the drink stop . Crunchy
Crack wore Easter bunny ears which everyone dutifully followed as they protruded above the bushes. Tanks gave the run a one and half due to good scenery and clear marking.
Knee Trembler gave a note for the hare as he was the only one at the drink stop. An interesting drink stop too, lollies macerated in a potent ginger concoction.
Only one visitor this week, Bobby and returnees were Councillor OOPs, Carnt, That Much and Vacant Patch. Anniversaries went to Crunchy Crack 27 runs, Twisted Sister 306 and Bouncer 436.
Nogat was charged for leading the walkers onto the runners track and Spock went back 8 years and charged OOps for something to do with money. Twisted Sister was charged for calling Non de plume 3 times by
her real name . Twisted Sister was joined by the hare for planning a drink stop up hill in the dark.
Raffle won by Dorothy and Crunchy
Everyone tucked into sweet and sour chicken and enjoyed the belated drink stop.
On On Dorothy (E and OA)

Run 1637
170308
ST PATRICK’S DAY RUN
A good size pack gathered pack at Tanx house for the very last run from his address. No rain made a lovely change on a Monday night. Tackle gave a runner’s report, “its set on pink chalk, lack of trail, .5/10. Dead Ringer gave a walker’s report “Invisible chalk, where was the earlier mentioned water trap?” -5/10. Final score -4.5/10
Announcements: 23rd/24th May- Trinity 1500th from Barrabadeen camp ground at Tinaroo. See Boopy for more details. Still having hash ball at Germania club. $10 maybe. BYO. But need to set a date on a Saturday night. Innot Hot Springs still going ahead. 28th/29th June?? Or possibly later in August. Certificate of appreciation given to the hash for contribution and donations collected for the Salvation Army on the Red Dress Run. The final amount was $805.
No visitors, no virgins. Returnees: Dead Ringer, Mctaf, Fungus, and Moaning (interhash visitors). Anniversaries- Big Bazza 450 runs. Knee Trembler 370 runs. Twisted 300 runs. Congratulations to Oops for being voted into local city council. Think of the perks and privileges the hash will get from that! Cheers to councillor Oops. Look alike Moaning took the down down. Prostitute gave us all the run report from the inaugural Little Mulgrave hash run. “The rain held off just for us for the length of the run. 3 from CH3, 2 from Innisfail, and 6 locals from the area. A good size pack for the first run. The second run will take place on the 6th April, from Mountain View hotel. Runs to take place on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of every month. Pro took a drink on their behalf.
CHARGES: Mctaf as stand in Sgt at arms. Tanx was charged for sparing use of pink chalk. Pro charged Nommy, for being assaulted with a stick. Calls for Nommy to be banned from ever using/having sticks). Super charged No Gat for being Tanx partner in crime. Super was charged with losing his son Bevan. No P.O.W, no shorts and no donger. Raffles went to Prostitute and Dead Ringer
On On Mctaf (E & OA)

Run 1636
100308
Spocks runners out number walkers
Well this was a run with a difference with runners out numbering walkers. The walkers retaliated with an abundance of charges laid against runners. It was great to see lots of visitors, 8 in total, passing through on the way to interhash 2008.Visitors included; Marmite, Termite, Fungal angas, Morning fucker, Jak tar, Clueless, Slurry
and little Dicky. Returnees included Chase, Josh, Screwer, Tanie and Prick Doctor
Marmite and Termite gave great runners and walkers reports with Spock achieving a whopping double 6.
Twisted charged GM for wearing new red shoes and Weed charged Clueless for living up to her name. Mole charged Josh for being competitive on the way home but more importantly for being young, fit and virile. The GM was again charged for having too many runners. Clueless charged Nogat for complaining that there were too many women on the run and bouncer was charged for being beaten to the drink stop. Pendinga saved the day by finding Betty Boop’s gold chain. The GM complained about being charged. She reckoned she had some sort of exemption yeh sure! Basil Thrush (foreign correspondent) was missed, as we have had no jokes since he left for Vietnam.
Handmaiden stayed away tonight as she wanted to keep the double donger and the shorts are still missing in action! Mole and Dorothy won the raffle.Weather permitting inaugural Little Mulgrave HHH will meet 3.30 for 4 at the Little Mulgrave.
On On Dorothy (E & OA)

Run 1635
030308
TWISTED SISTER'S MONSOONAL MONDAY MADNESS
The Mother of all Mondays, March madness, call it what you will, we were there in full force with flippers flapping and snorkels at the ready. Twisted Sister's run began with a greeting at the side gate of a foot mud bath far better than any day spa could provide and much less expensive. After donning rain coats, caps, galloshers, welly boots and some wimps carrying umbrella's we marched off in abominable conditions. The turn out complete with UK visitors was excellent. A mud map was given to those not needing glasses and we set off firstly beside a well flowing creek stomping through the overgrowth, ducking beneath tree branches and looking out gingerly for the odd croc that could appear at any time. Not to be left out in the cold a pooch either called Sodonme or the owner of it called the same name decided to have a death wish (the dog I mean) and swam down stream before wading out with webbed feet and a wagging tail. Disorientated runners, but mainly the walkers never arrived at the drink stop, some are still trying to find the waterhole, better luck next time and those that did never sent out a fog horn or whistle to alert the less fortunate. Our visitor Shirtlifter dared to mention humidity, a bridge and pikers and to go straight on was not on as we found out. Mentioning no names as to who needed a pee on the way making a weed grow rapidly (no, not you Weed) was all the excitement anyone could wish for. Shirtlifter could only manage a score of 3 for the run - boo hoo and That Much said it was worth a 2. Consequently the down downs followed with Twisted Sister organising a crap run but putting on a good nosh of heart warming lasagne, breads and salads with second helpings for the undernourished and anorexics - not many of those. Apologies from Crunchy Crack for non attendance and a warm welcome, albeit wet one to Shirtlifter and MSB, whose name was mistaken for PMT but of course it was that time of the month. Trinity Hash - Rubber Laytback, Cum Again, Recycled Virgin, all mixed up, who's who then followed by a down down to "Singing in the Rain". Our trustee returnees were Coin Slot, Dorothy and That Much and Knee Trembler burst into song with True Blue, Piss Pot etc. for those who knew the words, the others just hummed in more ways than one. No anniversaries this week. Mole` gave a report of the Red Dress Run sadly missed by certain members who we shall not mention. A good time was had. The money rolled in and Olga - don't know where the blow up doll went, oh and money, yes the all important dosh into 12 tins collected approximately $805 fro the Salvation Army Red Shield appeal. Yippee, a splendid effort to be proud of. "Why was she born so beautiful" followed but was that for Olga ! Hand Maiden must have had a hard day she forgot the double donger so pleasure prevails for another week. No raffle this week, everyone too skint to buy tickets with recent interest rate rise. Announcement of something at German Club and Innot Hot Springs. Brother LayBack & Cock n Bull and nosh $25 Tuesday 4/3/08. Sergeant 'Carn't' halted drinking and talking with his input of usual waffle. Charges went re drink stop and all losing direction due to Mole` not waiting for the pack. The obnoxious smell was not lack of deodorant but poor old pooch that seemed to be blamed for all wrong doings and doggy doings and droppings. Oh yes, and Tanx not let off the hook for mentioning something about 'titty girls'. Super Stalk gave some stick about a dog with a stick and 10 points to Farcanal for throwing the stick. The mere mention of sticks really made it stick in everyone’s mind, guilty as usual - Tanx, Farcanal, Nogat, Laid Back. Weed needed someone to join him out front for down down so That Much was stunt double being same height but not much else. Low profile charges went to Spread em and Wait a While for their low profile or being off form for a manic Monday. Super Stalk gave song but a weak effort as not very impressive, followed by a hush hush. Yes, and there’s more. Awards went to Spock - Prick of the Week for forgetting girlie shorts and Hand Maiden forgot Double Donger, how could she. Run of the month went to Hand Maiden, hoorah for scoring a 3 at her place. Thank you Twisted Sister. Moving on, next meet at Southernden Drive, City View If you are game, see Non de Plume or Betty Boop re Innot Hot Springs.
On On X-rayted

Run 1634
250208
HASH NOTES RUN NO. 1636-CAIRNS HASH TACKLE MANOORA
Tackle, s great run was marked in chalk and was a varied route through lots of parkland, barking dogs and surprised locals. It was a sweaty humid night but as usual lots of fun. The run report ranged from “started nothing special and ended nothing special” to ‘a hazardous water crossing through a mere 2 inches of water”
The walkers report was much more complementary with “nice conversations and much assistance when needed when crossing the water”
It was a drier run than last week but the heavens opened during nosh. No one really noticed as we all tucked in to a hearty meal of bangers and mash. (well done Tackle!)
Bevan was welcomed as a virgin and Not Yet and Sodonme as returnees.
Big Bazza celebrated his 450th run, Crunchy Crack 25 Spock 561 and Fuckin Hell (Farcanel) an amazing 1111.
Charges went to Sodnme for pretending to be someone else. Weed for looking like Fuckin Hell (Farcanel). Not Yet for knowing all the locals and still getting lost. Superstalk for thinking he was on a long distance athletic run. Two Tit Fruitti for littering shoes everywhere and Captain Spock (?) because he is retired.
Weed forgot to tell Mole he had collected prick of the week on her behalf last week. She reluctantly passed it on to Pendinga for being the wettest person in the circle. (we think she really wanted to keep it!)
The raffle was won by Pendinga and Carnt.
Prostitutes announcement-There will be breakaway Southern Areas HASH meeting at the Mountain View Hotel Sunday 16th 3.30 for 4pm
On On Dorothy

Run 1633
180208
HANDMAIDEN’S VIRGIN RUN #1634
Super stalk gave a run report of 10/10 before the run. “No shiggy, No rain, plenty of trail.” How quickly he changed his mind, once he had got back. “Storm drains, crocodiles, and rain, rain, rain. Very little trail, however the drink stop was “the best” (for those of us who got to have it.) -5 for the run and +6 for the drink stop. Final score 1/10.
Dorothy gave the walker’s report. All the walkers got lost and didn’t make drink stop, very unimpressed. Mole left early.
RETURNEES: Spread ‘Em drank with Dorothy.
NO VISITORS, NO VIRGINS.
CHARGES: Tutti charged Hare for no drink stop, the ultimate sin!! Twisted charged Tanx for being a human moving earthquake. Spread ‘Em charged Pendinga for shortcutting. Penny charged Mole for false direction, with Penny chosen as Mole look alike. Weed charged Tahnee for losing her dad. Boopy charged Carnt for a girly shortcut. Basil had apparel belonging to Boopy and Spread ‘Em from 6 months ago.
P.O.W: went to Weed on behalf of Mole.
DOUBLE DONGER: give to Handmaiden for a schmozzle of a run. And Pullthru will “give it to her in the box.”
LIMP DICK: went to Carnt for his girly shortcut.
RAFFLES: Pro and Twisted Sister.
ANNOUNCMENTS: Pro has put forward the idea of starting a hash out at Little Mulgrave, with inaugural run on March 16th. Run from Mountain View Hotel, in and around that local area. To be called “Little Mully H H HARRIOTS.”(hashers, harriettes, and idiots.) For more information see Prostitute or Betty Boop.

Run 1632
110208
Basil Thrush's Last Stand
30 odd Hashers took off up the street. I have no idea where they went because I didn't do the run. Derringer gave the run report, said it was well marked, got wet feet, went past a school and ended up at the Racecourse for a drink stop. The walkers headed home and the runners did a lap of the track. The run scored 3 out of 10. Coin Slot gave a walkers report, all she said was it was long and flat. Make what you will of that statement. 2 out of 10.
Visitors : - >Its Curtains Returnee :- Adam, Derringer and Josh Virgin :- Justin
Departees :- Eila is going back to Korea. Tarnie drank with her.
91 Runs :- Non de Plume 80 Runs :- Basil Thrush
Charges :- Basil Thrush for not supplying boiled lollies when going near a school also placing arrows in conflicting directions. Pendinga for not running over the bridge. Super for his birthday. Mr Spock for not bring the shorts. VD and Kotex for having car accidents. Bouncer and Mr Spock for their 45th Wedding Anniversary.
Run of the Month :- Mole got the Hat. Prick of the Week :- Dorothy
Raffles :- Wait-a-While and Kneetrembler
Red Dress Run :- 29th February, cost is $20. Shirt is $20
On On Bouncer

Run 1631
040208
Were you at AGPU ?
We headed down Spence St. from the Cape York Hotel and just crossed the railway line when the first check had the pack puzzled. Where were the marks? Hare Weed eventually arrived to show the marks on the side of the flowing drain. No-one was that silly ….except Weed! We headed across the dereclict wasteland to the Convention Centre and twisted through the alleys and walkways to Anzac Park for a regroup. Down to Wharf St. to another check and false trails.
It was about then that your scribe was discarded. Checking a false trail, I returned to find the pack had disappeared. So, it was “ON KEG” for me. I figured I’d probably sneak a couple of stubbies down before they all returned!
After the AGPU(see new Mismanagement Committee) Nosh arrived, . more stubbies consumed while some of the Harrietes were on the bubbly. After 2 or 3 bubblies, some Harriettes get decidedly untidy…..as we discovered in the circle!

New GM Betty Boop made good use of McTaf’s whistle. Twisted Sista’s walk report went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. For a score she looked at one hand, saw 10 fingers and gave it a 5. Pendinga’s run report was unambiguous – like last week’s run and gave it a -5 – total 0.

Returnees were Oops and Prostitute, Twisted Sista celebrated her 300th run and Satako was hauled out just for fun. New Sergeant-At-Arms Carnt called for charges which saw Nom De Plume out for another run assault – this time on Sodonme (which surprised no one). Weed was charged for proffering $8.40 instead of the required $20 for AGPU. The charged was reversed on TwoTit Fruitti for accepting the discounted amount. Twisted charged That Much and Xrated for not having Hash haberdash. Tanx wore that one for not delivering haberdash at the previous runs. Hare Weed was charged for being the only dumb bastard who got his feet wet running down the drain!

Hikono got a special commendation from Basil Thrush for grabbing his crotch as he walked past – this stroke has been commended to other Harriettes. Wait-a-While copped a charge for driving his van past the drink-stop but responded “I wasn’t me” (???) – the charge stuck. Basil T charged Super Stalk for whispering “On On” and Basil T copped one from Weed “…because I can”. That Much was charged with shopping during a Hash run (apparently that’s usual behaviour on a Hariettes run).

Pendinga awarded the Prick of The Week to Hare Weed, Mr.Spock is still washing the Girlie Shorts and Pullthrough is still enjoying the double donger.
Raffles went to Basil Thrush and Maid Marian, and a good night was had by all!
On on,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1630
270108
Uninspiring, uneventful, uninteresting, undulating, unpopular, unambiguous amble.
Pullthrough’s place was home for the run and once the Hashers got the place organised, it wasn’t too bad. A BIG pool was eyed expectantly by the “swimming hashers” and after several
ignored calls from Mr.Spock, GM Tackle called for a run briefing. The first part was inaudible thanks to talkers at the rear, but Pullthrough said it was a simple trail, quite unambiguous. Now that word had hashers puzzled until Pullthrough said “it means fuckin’ easy, just head down the drive and turn left”.
When we got to the road, the arrow pointed right. Was this a Hare’s mysterious check, or just dyslexic confusion??? Turned out to be the latter. The trail was straightforward, no checks, no re-groups, no false trails and boring. The only saviour was a park before the drink stop. Short-cutters (and that meant just about all the 27 who rolled up) then took the direct way home and even Pullthrough resigned himself to a short cut in the end. I think Mole was the only one who completed the course.
In the circle, Wait-A-While’s run report was thorough and long, with the hare scoring a half a point out of ten.
Now my notes are less than legible as I was standing, balancing a beer, notepad and pen.

Charges went to Pullthrough for a wrong way arrow, Lynne for being in the wrong place at the wrong time..Betty Boop charged Pro in absentia for always saying we should get more young women to Hash but not being there when four new ones rolled up. Wed reversed the charge. Not Yet copped one form Carnt for taking a leak on the run and Big Bazza was charged for stripping and changing his clothes beside the pool in full view…..a very frightening sight!! Basil Thrush was charged for chatting up young ladies (Isn’t that a hasher’s role???)
Knee Trembler got a charge for asking Big Bazza to pick up a tribe of young nymphets from his place. There were others but I can’t read my writing.
Returnees were Dorothy, James, Alana, Twisted Sista, No Knickers and Not Yet. Virgins were Nick, Hikono and Satako.
Mr. Spock chose to hang on to the Girlie Shhorts for another week, and Maid Marian conferred the Double-Donger on Pullthrough so he could learn left from right.
Raffles went to Mr. Spock and Basil Thush.
A superb nosh followed. Succulent Asian flavours from a variety of different dishes were enthusiastically devoured, followed by a HUGE cream-filled cake. WOW! A great way to wind up the night.
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1629
Notes 210108
Eventful Night at McTaffs
Run 1631 (or is it 1630?) proved to be a night of significance. On arrival we thought Nosh would precede the run as Crunchy Crack was cooking up a swag of snags on the barbie. Not so! she adamantly denied. GM tackle made his first appearance for 6 months after stints working down south. Good to see him and he took control after Mr. Spock’s calls “Are we running tonight?” fell on deaf ears – or failed to penetrate the many animated conversations. It soon became evident that this was a cracker roll-up. 38 hashers (incl 2 virgins) set out on the run/walk, carefully laid out in typical McTaf style. As usual, McTaf joined the runners. Now, the trick with McTaf’s runs is to never get ahead of Mc Taf because he knows where the false trails are!!!!!
A familiar drink stop location – and boy – did we need that drink. You could see where we’d been from the trail of sweat! Back at base, the esky’s in the Spock historic trailer were attacked on our return. The circle started with Pendinga’s run review which praised the Hare’s efforts and awarded a -2. XRAYted gave the walk review saying she enjoyed it, it wasn’t long enough, but didn’t get lost. She was asked if she was reviewing the run or the Prick of the Week? She awarded it a +2, giving Hare McTaf a creditable score of 0.
Charges from the run went to Nom De Plume for a sustained physical attack on Carnt, Pendinga and his map for both Chase (who forgot his shoes!) and Tani (forgetting to pick up Josh), XRated for a shit walkers report, and Betty Boop for overlooking the jelly babies in the drink stop.
Returnees were Prostitute, Sodonme, Tackle, Verbal Diarrhoea and Nom De Plume. Virgins were Lilly and Tanya. Phukit reluctantly admitted it was his birthday.
Basil Thrush copped a pre-emptive down-down (the first of many) because of his imminent departure to Asian climes which will preclude further down-downs as the year progresses. Wait-A-While awarded the girlie shorts to Mr. Spock to add authority to his “running tonight?” call. About this time, it was noticed that McTaf had his appendage dangling from the right leg of his shorts. This spurred discussion as it was about level with his knee. It turned out to be the double-donger which was presented to Maid Marian. The Prick of the Week was awarded to Chase for his hill-climbing skills. Nogat and Spock took the raffle prizes and Betty Boop performed the old loaves and fishes trick feeding the huge horde of hungry Hashers.
On On, Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1628
Notes 140108
Mole’s mushy meander
What a fantastic run for a dry wet night!!. Trail was full of checks and false trails that kept both the walkers and runners packs together. We set off through the bush thinking it’s on to the beach, remembering those words about sand and crocodiles, but no, we headed the other way toward the Trinity Beach swamps. It was over much shiggy and bush until finally we came out to the dry roads. Over to Coastwatchers park and the walkers took the scenic route via the park while the runners veered off to run up Moresby, in and out of Trinity Beach and finally all meeting up for the drink stop on the car park corner. Trail then went up Trinity Beach road and cut back through Kewarra Beach passing Skid marks trail from TH3 of 4 months ago – still damaging the environment and then on home. Just the right length for a hot steamy, sweaty night in the tropics.
Run report from Chase said ‘hmmm it was pretty average 6/10’ Big Bazza kept Hare Mole company for the charge.
Returnees: Big Bazza, Bedouin, Chase, Tahnee, That Much, Carnt, Dianne, Handbrake, Josh,
Charges: Barbara and Tahnee for being pretentious for warming up. Betty Boop and Stand in stunt double Phukit for PDA in the pool. Wait a While for dereliction of duty i.e., failing to pour a beer for a charge for everyone. Handbrake for being 29 (again apparently) Farcanal for impersonating McTaff (who wasn’t wearing his colostomy shorts). Twins Tahnee and Chase (four years apart – what a pregnancy).
Girlie shorts maybe Mole`, for making That Much too tired for anything else but finally to Wait a While for being a hazardous Wait a While. Bedouin finally remembered the Double Donger and gave it to MacTaff for something. POW- Handmaiden remembers having it once now that’s just a memory
SACRED NAMINGS – Religious adviser Pendinga did his duty and advised all attending that Barbara will be know and X RAYted and Dianne will now be known as COIN SLOT
Nosh was smoke induced BBQ’ed lamb with tasty sauce, snags, great salads, and birthday cake and cream for dessert.
On On, Betty Boop E&OA

Run 1627
Notes 070108
Wet Westcourt Wanderings
It didn’t look good …..rain through the afternoon looked like getting heavier and it only got worse. No Hash Booze had arrived before the run leaving many in a state of dazed pre-run shock.
Knee-Trembler’s broken briefing was interrupted by trips indoors during which conversations started. He issued a handful of maps to selected Hashers and we set off, quickly finding the marks until we got to McCormack street. Then the maps proved handy – to those who could read it! Others, without their spectacles, could only gaze at the blur of images with red dots and imagine.
We all made it to the drink stop then set off “On Keg’ in different directions. Hash Booze had arrived by then (Thankfully!) and two bowls of crisps were eagerly devoured. With Weed preparing the Down Downs, McTaf (minus whistle) took the circle and Mr. Spock’s run report covered upside-down maps, wrong ways (he wasn’t there) and he scored it a 10 out of 10 adding it had so much potential!!
Visitors were Ella, Bo and Gin, Virgin was Fay and Returnees were Mr. Spock, Bouncer, Opps, Phuket, Vacant Patch, Wallabee and the unsuccessfully-hiding Kotex.

Weed jumped in with news that the AGPU is on 4th of February at Curry Corner and you are needed for a contact on the Interhash Website.
Charges
Mr. Spock and Far Canal for reading the map upside-down, Knee Trembler for supplying upside-down maps and Ella for being a Knee Trembler look-alike.
Pullthrough copped one for forgetting who he was, Nick was hit with a “Name them or Join them” challenge. He met the challenge, but copped a down down for being a smart-arse!
Super Stork charged Knee Trembler for sending his little son Ky out in the rain at the drink stop to check on the runner’s progress while he stayed dry sitting in the car. Bo and Gin were ordered to join Knee Trembler.
(These Koreans will return home with stories of strange rituals in Australia)
Oops tried to charge McTaf for deliberately splashing her at the drink stop – of course, the charge was reversed.
Pro put a late-late charge from the Christmas Eve run for Maid Marian who got bogged while parked on a sealed road!!! Nick charged Tanx for leading runners on a tour of Cairns instead of following the marks – This backfired on Nick who didn’t know that on Monday 7th January you can’t charge a Hasher with a name starting with “T”. Basil Thrush charge Oops with bringing political material to Hash.
Raffles went to Basil Thrush and Pro – no prick, double donger or girlie shorts were present.
Nosh was delicious chicken wins and salads, followed by warm fruit mince pies. Yum!
On On
Basil Thrush E&OA.

Run 1626
Notes 311207
Hash Helps Old Year Out
It was symbolic, in a weird sort of way - farewelling 2007 in front of the soon to be farewelled Cairns Yacht Club. As we toed the only remaining patch of sandy beach left in the concrete jungle that has become the city and listened to Not Yet’s pre-run briefing most realised that soon the concrete would cover this final tinnie refuge in Cairns city.

Then it was “On On” along the boardwalk, past the surprised looks of early diners at the posh restaurants. A late start meant we’d missed the boat, so back off the marina and along to the Esplanade pool where a swim was rejected. The motley bunch headed into Abbott St, ad quick flip through the night markets, past PJ O”Briens, the Grand and Shenanigans(Why?) before a very welcome thirst-slaking beer at the Cape York.
Then it was “On Keg” whichever way you wanted.

The circle in front of the Yacht Club was taken by McTaf who broke with convention by calling Visitor John (son of Wait-A-While) to take his down down. A call for charges saw Bottom-Dweller charge Mc Taf (which immediately rebounded on her) and Derringer for forgetting his Hash name.
Twisted Sister charged Nom De Plum for yodelling on-on, and Tanx for not bringing Hash haberdash for John and Brabara. Twisted then copped a charge from Hand Maiden for being rude about Nommy’s yodelling.
There were no raffle prizes so McTaf organised a “virtual raffle” with John winning a virtual bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne. John appeared a little confused when asked to draw the second virtual prize – a virtual bottle of Verve Cliquot.
Nommy copped a charge from Basil Thrush for frightening city walkers by baring her midriff – this rebounded as it was agreed more Harriettes should remove more clothing.
Then…….we were staring in the face of the last charges for 2007!!!!!
Dorothy copped the “low-profile” charge, Far Canal because he hadn’t been charged, Bottom Dweller because she said Derringer didn’t have the guts to charge her, Tanx a charge for being inconspicuous were among a flurry of charges.

Then came Hare Not Yet’s report on the run – that’s different. Wait-A-While was asked to give a report on the run report but started to give a run report, and scored a +2. When it was pointed we wanted a report on the report he scored it a -2. Confused??? So was he!

Some of the Harriettes then sneaked inside to shower and change for dinner, while other Hashers disappeared into what was left of 2007.
Happy New Year!
On On,
Basil Thrush
E&OA

Run 1625
241207
Pro’s riverside ramble
It was a respectable crowd for a Christmas Eve run - way, way down south at Ross & Locke. Respectable in numbers only, it should be noted. 22 social outcasts who hadn’t received invitations to the multitude of Christmas Eve parties assembled on the bank of the Little Mulgrave River to hear Pro’s brief brief.
The runners headed for the hills, while the walkers headed to a cane train bridge across the river. This is where Pro’s best laid plans began to unravel. Several of the wimpy walkers refused to tackle the bridge, so Pro had to drive them – that’s right, drive them to the road so they could participate!!
What is Hash coming to???? “Walk the bridge or swim the river”, I say. But no, they hitched a ride.
Meantime, the runners were fighting for survival themselves. Fording the river proved to be “sink or swim”. The vertically challenged amongst them – Mole, Dead Ringer and Weed were in it up to and slightly above their necks. And they’re lucky it was only water – normally they’re in slightly thicker, brownish-coloured material.

The drink stop was at the Little Mully (Mountain View Hotel to the non –locals) where we saw some really nice jugs. They’ve done it up a treat out the back – but no-one was out there apart from the motley Hash crew.
On On back to the river bank with the brave tackling the train bridge again and the wimps hitching a ride with Pro.
Weed took the circle and Hare Pro fronted for his run/swim report. Pimp (who got lost taking a short cut to the keg) gave it a .75 out of 10.
Virgins were Dorothy, Ian and Hugh. Returnees Pimp, Dead Ringer and Mrs. Wait-A-While.
Charges went to Hare Pro for making Mole and Dead Ringer swim for their lives. Pimp was charged for being lost and “If one Navy bloke drinks, ALL Navy blokes drink!”
All the acrophobics (look it up!!!) were charged for failing to cross the bridge. Betty Boop ,Maid Marian and Tu Tit Fruitti got charged for something while and Basil Thrush was charged with showing off.
Betty Boop charged Sonic Beep with something (couldn’t see to write in the dark!) Tanx was charged for calling to those who just nervously crossed the cane train bridge that it was a false trail and to go back. Nogat was charged for failing to bring the Down Down mugs, Not Yet charged with saying “mishcoshepshon”, Tutti charged harriettes Crunchy and Sonic Beep for something, McTaf gave Pimp the prick of the week, but Pimp won’t be here to pass it on.
Pimp drew a raffle ticket to award the prick and he got it. McTaf was charged for looking good out front, Nook & Cranny charged with the low profile award.
A point of order was called by Pro over the down-down tune “Little boys are half a crown”. He said $100 dollars would be more accurate, but he was informed that there are less expensive places to get little boys.
Four raffle prizes went to McTaf, McTaf, McTaf and pimp. Nosh was a bit light on as Pro had only expected about a dozen to roll up. Ham salad sandwiches were followed by Chistmas cake and custard. Wait-A-While caused some serious concern and a rapid evacuation of his vicinity when he was engaged in an animated conversation while holding the opened carton of custard.
Top night, and no breathalyser on the way home!
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1624
Notes 171207
Tanx bewildering dash, sensational nosh
Funny thing about a good nosh. It obliterates the worst aspects of any Hash run. And Tanx took full advantage of that fact. On our return there were stacks of piping hot spring rolls, dim sims, crisps, dips & bikkies. So much so, that we thought it was an early nosh before the circle. Not so. After the circle came the hot roast chicken, garden salads, coleslaw, pasta salad and other goodies. WOW! What a feast!

In the absence of GM Tackle, stand-in, look-alike GM Weed it was McTaf who took the circle in true military precision. Knee Trembler’s run report was less than complimentary….a lot less. I guess it was the confusion of white, blue and yellow arrows that had the front runners heading for home instead of the drink-stop then doubling back. Take note future hares. Don’t put in arrows and out arrows on the same road – even though they’re on opposite sides of the road! If there is a slight possibility that a Hasher can be confused, the Hasher WILL be confused!

A sneak preview of the new McTaf/Betty Boop mansion was afforded at the drink stop before we found our way back to the nosh. It was noted on the way to the drink stop that a chalk sign read “DS 300m”. Lauren and Basil Thrush think a zero was left off the end!
Tanx took his down down.
Visitors were Chris, Clint and returnees Sonic Beep, Knee Trembler, and Chris who were joined by TwoTit Fruitti who forgot that Nick was also a returnee.
Twisted was hauled out for her birthday of 35 years plus a few, Sonic Beep was charged along with Knee Trembler and Josh.
Pull Through awarded the Girlie Shorts to the only Hasher who snickered at him – Carnt. Tanx gave the Prick Of The Week to Nick and copped a charge for lack of effort in awarding the Prick. Bedouin forgot the double-donger but awarded it to himself for another week.
Raffles went to Twisted Sista and Lauren – the former then charging the latter with something or other.
A supplementary circle was called for naming duties. CH3 Religious Adviser Pendinga being present he duly performed his duties. Lauren is now Bottom Dweller, Melinda is Nook & Cranny, Clint is Derringer and Marlene is Vacant Patch.

On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1623
Notes 101207
Maid Marion’s Blistering trail
Hash notes this week are scarce – in fact not existing but suffice to say a good run, not too many sand flies and very good nosh.
Some virgins and returnees
POW went to Tanx – Double Donger went to Bedowin

Reminders - Christmas Eve run at Ross & Locke and New Years Eve run at the Cairns Yacht Club.
On On Basil Thrush E&OA ( who was not there because he was afraid sand flies might bite him – have’nt you heard of Aerogard!!!)

Run 1622
Notes 031207
Pendinga’s bush bash
It’s a long way to go for a run, but at Pendinga’s, you can be sure it’ll be a good one. He didn’t disappoint. But there were times when some Hashers wished they were charging along in a Caterpillar D7 instead of dripping sweat, fighting through the rainforest, the vines, spider webs, thorns, prickles, occasional snakes and crocodiles. 2 drink stops were welcome and most made it back in a little over an hour.
In the circle newcomer Nick was full of praise for Penny’s bush bash giving it an unprecedented score of 8! A first time runner, Twisted Sista, was very happy she wasn’t left behind to fend off snakes and crocs(Hashers, we’ve got to run faster!). Her run report began to take as long as the run, but she gave it all balance by awarding it a -6, which totalled 2.
Returnees were Mr. Spock, Melinda, Pendinga and Hand Maiden. It was also Pendinga’s 350th run – well done!
Charges came from Twisted Sista to Nom De Plume and Supa Stork for baring their midriffs during the run. Twisted was also charged for declaring she was hot (draw your own conclusions!). Basil Thrush copped one for calling a hasher by an unknown name. Nick was charged for giving the run a score of 8, Basil Thrush was charged by Melinda for turning a run arrow around, but the charge was reversed as it’s a Hashers’ duty to confuse. Hash Haberdash Tanx was charged for failing to provide Hash attire.
That Much didn’t own up that she had the Prick of the Week, Betty Boop (absent) has the double donger and Pull Through (absent) has the girlie shorts.
Raffles went to Nogat and Tanx who resolved to have a relaxing drink on the beach.
Tacos for nosh made a very pleasant change and Penny provided a mild, sweet chilli sauce as garnish – Hasher’s who know Pendinga’s reputation for chilli tried it with trepidation, but it was delicious! He capped this off with ice cream and a mango-ginger fruit salad! Sensational.
Reminders - Christmas Eve run at Ross & Locke and New Years Eve run at the Cairns Yacht Club.

Run 1621
Notes 26/11/07
The Betty/Crunchy/McTaf Maze
If you thought it was confusing trying to navigate your car through Forest Gardens, you ought to try doing a Hash run with hares Betty Boop/Crunchy Crack/McTaf – it was a family affair and the blame was shared. However, the trail bore all the features of McTaf. He even accompanied the runners, regularly getting us back on trail – possibly because of the lack of marks. False trails abounded – keeping the runners/walkers together, but frustrating the hell out of the front runners. It became obvious that it was futile to run ahead of McTaf because you’d end up backtracking.
McTaf made good use of the maze of walking trails and small parks that wind around the suburb – a good run with plenty of variety, and a very welcome drink stop.

We thought we’d lost a few along the run again, only to find them back “home’ when we returned. Hmmmmmm. Did they run or didn’t they????

Basil Thrush took the circle and Betty Boop was nominated as Hare from the possible trio. After a scathing report from Mole who kept losing trail and a score of -4, SupaStalk was more kind saying it was a similar trail to last week with runners and walkers heading off and arriving back from seven different directions – score a +3.

Visitors were James, Rachael, and Pull-Through (it’s been so long since he last appeared we class him as a visitor).
Virgin was Leeanna, while McTaf was the returnee.
Charges flowed – first from Twisted Sista who charged Leeanna and pull-through for no Hash attire. SupaStalk and Mole were charged with doing work on two occasions while on the run. Mole then charged Twisted Sista for showing off by actually completing the run – for the first time in living Hash memory.
Weed charged Nom De Plume for almost pushing him down into a creek while she was attacking Basil Thrush during the run. (What is this with Nommy? She wrestled SupaStalk to the ground a few weeks ago) Twisted copped another charge, from Carnt, after she left her towel at his place last week and had the cheek to ask if he’d washed it out!!!
Rachael and Lauren were charged with short-cutting the run – other short-cutters were spared.
It was about this time that McTaf realised that the sausages on the bbq had been ignored for 20 minutes. Nothing wrong with black sausages is there? Don’t know why he didn’t get Carnt to do the bbq – happens everywhere else.
Raffles went to Not Yet and Mole.
Twisted Sista bestowed the Girlie Shorts to Pull Through because he needed Hash attire.
Betty Boop in a brief period of confusion (are you surprised???) denied having the Prick Of The Week, but suddenly realised that it was in her possession. She hurriedly raced into her bedroom and retrieved it from under her pillow. While this was happening, Laura gave the double donger to McTaf and Betty Boop because she said life was about “sharing”.

See elsewhere in the Hash Post for details about the Christmas Eve and New Years Eve runs.
On On
Basil Thrush E&OA


Run 1620
Notes 191107
Totally Lost It!
Any clear-thinking Hasher, when given a map for an uncomplicated run, should make it home – even with a few wrong turns here and there. Right???? WRONG!!! Carnt’s run wasn’t long (the rain had washed away the marks for checks and regroups) and after the drink-stop (non-alcoholic I might add!) we headed under the Western Arterial Road for the short jog home. About 7pm it became obvious that Brabara and Marlene were missing. Two search parties set off and the pair was found at the Bella Vista shopping centre (where else???).

Carnt’s pool was welcomed by a handful, while others slaked their thirst. Thankfully the rain held off for the run and circle. Weed took the Hash Booze role and Screwer took the circle, and for something completely different, started with visitors Lauren, Mr. Icy (PNG) then Virgins Maureen, Nick and Mick.

Screwer said that in his 214 years and 15 days of running with Hash he had never seen a hare give a route map to EVERY Hasher. Now it should be explained that the map wasn’t much bigger than a postage stamp stuck on an A4 sheet of paper - impossible for any Hasher over 25 years of age to read the street names. Supa’s run report highlighted that the Hashers went in 12 different directions before the drink stop and 12 different directions after the drink stop, but gave the overall run a +3.

You wouldn’t believe it – Both raffle prizes were won by Carnt – he’s back to his old tricks and the reason for his name.

Charges were plenty – Twisted Sista for bumming a smoke as soon as she arrived, Marlene and Brabara for going shopping during the run and reading the map upside down (they’re women aren’t they???).
No Knickers charged for refusing to run because she wanted to look at the houses, Carnt charged by lost one Brabara for a confusing run but he blamed That Much. Twisted charged again for taking a ride to the drink stop and walking home, Knee Trembler for arriving late and still beating us all home, Nom DePlume for not sharing a private joke with the circle – joke-teller Nogat charged with being a Hasher under suspicion.
Tanx awarded the girlie shorts to Twisted Sista for offering him a ride to the drink stop, and Lauren got the double-donger because her hubby’s away in the Navy with McTaf. No Prick Of the Week – it’s still in use by Betty Boop.
Late charges went to Mr. Icy for talking on a mobile phone during the run and Nick for making Maureen late for Hash. Tanx copped another for privately showing his double donger to a hash virgin!!!!
The top nosh was eagerly devoured by the hungry hordes
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1619
Notes on Nommy’s run 121107
Nommy’s knockout nosh
Setting new standards in Hash haute cuisine, Nom de Plume’s super spread was a winner. Centrepiece were the Euro sausages, coupled with onions, barbecued potatoes and mountains of salad. Now Nommy wasn’t seen to be doing all that much as the circle progressed, but Carnt was slaving away on the barbecue around the corner. His culinary skills have improved enormously since he joined Hash and he’s become the “stand-in chef look-alike” at many Hash runs. Well done – so were the sausages!!
The run started out a bit hesitantly when no marks could be found on the other side of the highway, but Mole knew where the drink stop was going to be so we followed her. Sure enough, the marks were found and on trail. Nommy’s arrows were so huge they put Main Roads to shame. Maybe she’s angling for a job on the highways? Anyway there was no losing trail and we all made it to the drink stop (except Carnt who was chained to the barbecue). Now the drink was extra tasty – bit coconutty – very nice.
The run home seemed a lot longer than the run out – or was that just protesting muscles?
Nibblies on our return were baguette, sliced ham, sliced German sausage and cheese – all rapidly devoured.
Stand-in look-alike GM Weed called the circle and targeted Big Bazza and Bouncer for talking. Bazza said he was just telling Bouncer to shut up – quick thinking saved a charge.

A brief run report from Hand Maiden, who awarded a 2, and set herself up for a charge by saying she was talking all the way and didn’t take much notice of the run.

Returnees were Dead Ringer(on soft drink!!!), Donna, Hand Maiden and Dodo.
Charges went to Basil Thrush for being a media tart and also serving food at the races, Hand Maiden for talking the entire time of the run, Betty Boop for window-shopping during the run, and Nom De Plume for leaving her shoes at the last run.

Pro charged Twisted Sista with getting white spots on her face from listening to Basil Thrush on the radio. Crunchy Crack joined the chargees for failing to come up with a down-down ditty.
Nom De Plume and Donna were designated look-alike, stand-in doubles as both were dressed alike, are the same height and same hair style and colour – who would have thought??
Pro came up with a charge about a Nommy’s black dog and a look-alike and somehow Far Canal got the down-down – something about Wishbone.
Hash apparrel was awarded: Tanx got the double donger while Big Bazza gave the Prick Of The Week to Betty Boop.

Due ceremony followed, and in the absence of Religious Adviser Pendinga, Weed adopted the mantle of RA and called Donna to step up for her Hash name. Several names were bandied about. Donna works at security at the airport and when asked to demonstrate, she provided the perfect Hash handle…..”Spread’em”. She was duly annointed.

Plenty of upcoming Hash events – A Christmas Eve run at Ross & Locke & a New Year’s Eve run at the Yacht Club look like FUN! Raffles went to Weed and Tanx.
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1618
Notes 051107
Monday Midge Muddle
It was Big Bazza, I think, who suggested we run from near the pirate ship on the North Esplanade. Funny how he didn’t show up. Neither did Tackle (our GM in absentia), Asst. GM Weed(his birthday), R.A. Pendinga, Mole, Hash Post notes…so there were some notable absentees. BUT, the midges were intense!!!

Before the run, Hashers were hopping around, spraying repellent(didn’t work!), scratching, and making moves away from the keg. Twisted Sista made an early start to the run just to escape the onslaught. There were no stragglers heading off – it was such a relief to get moving away from the mangroves.

Not Yet set the trail and being Guy Fawkes night, we all thought it’d be a cracker. He took us south along the Esplanade, then to Sheridan St. past the Cock & Bull. I was hoping it was a drink stop, but the front runners kept going. This action is against the best intentions of Hash – charges may arise. On to McLeod St., with plenty of checks and false trails along the way.. When we got to the Pioneer Cemetery, I was near dead!

Back at the keg, the jumping, dancing and scratching resumed. Some adjourned to nearer the road, but there was no respite from the midges. Acting GM look-alike Wait-A-While called the circle and it was quite evident our numbers had shrunk in the period from the run to the circle. Charges may arise for these midge-dodging miscreants. Most of us were itching to get away as well!
Tanx run report was brief –a good run – well marked – ended up in McDonalds and a score of 1/10. Uproar followed, then Wait-A-While asked Monica for a ditty for the Hare – who the hell is Monica????? Just as well he was acting GM and avoided a down down.

Newcastle visitors Music Man and Creaky were presented and were joined by returnees Far Canal and Pro (Bobcat wasn’t spotted lurking in the shadows). A report from Weed and Mole’s party was presented by Screwer – he could remember too much so he obviously wasn’t drunk enough. Sunday’s breakfast was beer and lunch followed in a similar manner.
Maid Marian, who postponed her scheduled Guy Fawkes run, was roundly condemned for forcing good Hashers to be eaten alive by Midges on the Esplanade. Retard was judged a Maid Marian look alike and took the down-down.

Marlene reluctantly awarded the double donger to Far Canal, while Tanx got the girlie shorts from No Knickers for calling into McDonald’s during the run. No Prick ‘cos Big Bazza wasn’t there.
Betty Boop charged the Newcastle visitors who then gave a fabulous performance of the Newcastle Hash song – CHHH needs a Hash Song. Tanx copped a charge from Crunchy Crack for spilling beer while trying to tie her sarong – don’t ask!!!
Far Canal took another charge for Guy Fawkes night and being a Weed look-alike on Weed’s birthday.
Raffles went to Tanx and Pro, followed by a fabulous nosh of prawns, fish and fresh garden salads.
Would’ve been good, if it wasn’t for the midges!
On On
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1617
291007
Spockalite brightens the sky!

Mr. Spock’s done it again. Right on cue, his personal satellite streaked overhead just before the circle. All eyes were skyward as we gazed in awe at this spaceship and wondered how Spock can launch and control this thing from his back yard. The stack of batteries along the wall of his garage is a bit of a giveaway. Who would have thought a cosmos mastermind lurked behind that goofy visage?

The run??? The pack surprised a well-endowed young lady lurking beneath the drain on Irene St. SupaStalk emerged quickly from the other side but so did the wench…Supa was to get into more strife later, possibly aroused by his close proximity to the young thing. He was looking decidedly hot and sweaty – but we all did. It was one of those still, muggy nights.
For the first part the run was draining – all the way along the drain to Swallow St. Confusion brought about by lack of marks followed coupled with the front-runners whispering “On On” – that didn’t help. No drink stop, but we all made it back in good time - probably because we were all so damn thirsty!
Not Yet’s report was so long I nodded off. But someone told me he said the run had no bog, no water, no swamps, no crocs and was boring over dry land and scored a 2 out of 10.
Visitor was Frank who was attending his annual Hash run, and Virgins were Lori, Emma and Adam. Big cheers for Handbrake celebrating 51 runs and SupaStalk on his 1250th run – he doesn’t look 87 does he?
Charges went to Basil Thrush for being a media tart, Twisted Sista for anything, SupaStalk for having his hash shirt scorched by the ironing lady, Betty Boop for trying to lock herself in Spock’s place knowing Bouncer was away, Weed for dragging Bobcat around behind him every day (Squealing with delight, he said). A Weed look-alike in Adam took the down down, Brabara charged with trying to blame Hash men for bum pinching when it was Betty Boop all the time.
Carnt brought a charge of sexual molestation against Nom De plume for grabbing Supa Stalk and wrestling him to the ground during a re-group.
Not Yet and Brabara charged with not wearing Hash gear along with Hash Haberdash Tanx for not forcing them to buy Haberdash. Twisted charged Nom De Plume for the same, but Nommy ripped off her towel (as Nommy does) to reveal a Hash shirt! Twisted took the down down.
The Girlie Shorts were presented to No Knickers for wearing matching pink clobber, Big Bazza got the Prick Of The Week for bragging about his run efforts while the Double Donger award became a real cock fight(!). Marlene eventually got it for locking her keys in her car. When presented with the prize, she asked “What do I do with this?” ……Hullo????
Forget who won the raffles, and nosh was pizza (Bouncer’s away, remember?)
On On,
Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1616
Notes 221007
Basil’s Blacktop and Bush Bash
Latecomers to Basil Thrush’s don’t have to walk or run – they get their exercise just walking from their parked car. A good roll up of mainly walkers set off on the trail – walkers were provided with a map – runners had to look for marks, up roads, through parks, drink stops and back to circle.
Knee trembler’s run report was embarrassingly complimentary – “and I’ll give it an honest score of 7.” which was greeted by howls of protest. (What score would he have given if he was NOT honest?)
Returnees were plentiful, Basil Thrush, Chopper, Pullthrough, Crunchy, Kotex, Maid Marian, virgin was Denise (not de-nephew). That Much was away with the pixies when asked for a down-down ditty and introduced a new Hash song that wasn’t rude, crude, offensive or smutty.
Charges were plentiful – Carnt charged Pullthrough with wearing someone elses clothes, Supa charged Basil Thrush for distributing election signs while setting the run, Kotex charged Basil for placing a huge 4 above his garage door and she was duly presented with the 4. Basil charged Nogat for calling a Tanx by an unknown name, Kotex charged SupaStalk for thinking she was a Pendinga look-alike. Discussion followed and it was agreed she has more hair than Pendinga. Kotex copped a charge from Chopper who was forced to perve on her when she was riding – her motorbike!
Betty Boop was charged for getting to the first corner and then referring to the provided map and turning it upside down!!
Phukit was charged by Weed for disappearing at his own run before the run report and down-downs. Phukit tried to reverse it so Weed accepted, then passed the charge on to a Weed look-alike – Phukit!!!! (confused yet? You should have been there!!)
Apparel awards: Big Bazza presented the double-donger to Betty Boop. Screwer presented the Prick Of The Week to Not Yet for being an FRB for the first time in his life and the Girly Shorts were presented by Weed to Knee Trembler for his girly run report.
Late charges from Mole to Not Yet for collecting an empty Bundy bottle and leaving the glasses behind, Twisted Sister charged Big Bazza after he made unsavoury comments when he spied a suitcase in a Vinnies bin (Aren’t Hashers supposed to be unsavoury?) but not collecting it for his travels.
Raffles went to Screwer and No Knickers. Confusion reigned for toilet goers when the floor arrows directing Hashers to the right room were tampered with. Some found themselves walking in from the garage and straight out the front door, while others found themselves in the laundry!!
Nosh was barbecue snags, hambuggers and salad. I’m stuffed!!!!
On On,
Basil Thrush

Run 1615
151007
Supa’s Straford stroll
There are some great note, but I don’t have them

Run 1614
Notes 081007
Phukit’s 10k Marathon
File this away for future reference: When you set a trail from a push bike, it seems a lot shorter than it really is!!!!!!! There were times on Monday evening when we thought we’d made it to the outskirts of Cairns city from Trinity Beach. Two drink stops (non-alcoholic!!) didn’t make it any better. Most made it back in a little under 90 minutes! Hare Phukit must have suspected what was coming up for him in the circle and was seen to be speeding off into the night before the main body of Hashers made it home. Hand Brake had to face the fury.
Some of the more desperate Hashers polluted the pool, while others just enjoyed the recovery period. Acting GM Weed called the circle and That Much said the run was the worst – too long, monster mozzies and a score of -3. Visitor Retard said he hates road runs, especially ones that far and scored it a 2. Weed accepted the Hare’s down-down as a look-alike for Phukit.

Returnees were Basil Thrush, Screwer & Mashit, while visitors were Retard and TeePee. We were lucky to have TeePee in the circle. Her diminutive form was almost carried away by the giant mozzies at the first drink stop. Virgin Marlene is still in a state of shock from her first Hash run.
Charges went against Phukit (in absentia), Retard for feeding TeePee to the mozzies, Nom De Plume for leaving her T shirt at unmentionable places, and Betty Boop for having a towel that would barely dry one of her boobs. Virgin Marlene was again charged – this time for having known about Hash for months, but being sufficiently sane to abstain.

Supa Stalk and Wait–A-While were charged with being media tarts, That Much for becoming a grandma for the first time and Carnt for screwing a grandma!

There was no Prick Of The Week or Double Donger to be seen, but Weed passed the Girlie Shorts back to Supa Stalk. Basil Thrush charged the editor of Hash Post with using his name in vain ( or was it his vain in name???) and got the charge reversed, TeePee charged with calling an unknown person “Val”, Weed took a charge for something and so did Supa.
Raffles went to Mashit and Weed.
Hand Brake prepared a fabulous Nosh and lashings of it – top tucker – pity about the run!!!!
On On
Basil Thrush. E. & O.A.

Run 1613
011007
Tackle’s Recovery Run
I was still pissed from the weekend, so all I can remember was great nosh of corn beef, a bit about the run around Manunda and more grog.
There are better notes somewhere, but no one has given them to me yet

Basil Thrush E & O A.

Run no. 1612
on 24th September 2007
Weed’s wanderings
One of the biggest packs of over 30 runners arrived at the Weed abode ready for a tour of Kewarra Beach. The pack started out the gate and into the paddock (surprise, surprise). Up through the dry creek bed and ending up along Cottlesloe drive. With a few false trails and lots of checks on the way they eventually made their way to the beach where the drinks stop awaited them. After a few comments on what a lovely night it was, the pack made their way back along the beachfront to home.
Visitors, returnees and virgins were abundant and all were duly charged (can’t remember but he wasn’t one of them). The girlie shorts finally surfaced after spending much time in Supa’s wardrobe – don’t know what he wanted them for but he handed them over the Weed.
Double Donger or POW or something went to Carnt. The raffles were won by some people and then we had the best tasty BBQ nosh and salads.
On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A. (in absentee)

Run 1611
17th September 2007
‘Waiting a while’ around Manunda
A great throng assembled for wait a while’s run and ventured out in an unusual direction!!!!. After a long check trail was eventually found and went in and out and around and about streets of Manunda ending up at the drink stop on draper Street. It was on Home and in the back way (to Wait a While’s yard) for the runners.
There were many visitors and returnees, Pendinga, Maid Marion, Sodonme, Donna, Big Bazza, Dianne, Captain Pugwash and Sticky Date.
Lots of charges and lots of Nosh.
Where or where are the Girlie Shorts………………There may be a big announcement soon.

On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A. (in absentee)

Run 1610
100907
Not Yet’s run from a ‘not yet’ finished yard
The pack assembled in the new garage and started off down the road. Trail was sent over Ramsey Drive and through the bush, Some older hashers thought they were going up Marino’s quarry but no, the trail juts led us round and round in circles through the bush and over the mozzie infested swampy bits. WE came out of the bush only about 100m up the road from where we went in. Drink stop was on the next piece of Not Yet real estate and then it was on home down hill back to the keg.
Charge went to returnees Pendinga and VD and to our travelling visitors. Charges to Betty Boop, Carnt, That Much and Wait a While.
A good run with a bit of bush bashing. Nosh for the vegies courtesy of No Knickas and the meat lover courtesy of Not Yet
There may have been more but Basil Thrush is away si this is a good as it gets…………..
On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A. (in absentee)

Run 1608
030907
Crunchy Crack’s White Rock Wanderings
We set off at a leisurely pace from Crunchy Crack’s place and followed trail to the highway. This is where some of the walkers came un-stuck. Looking for a short-cut they headed south, but NO! we crossed the highway into White Rock. Tackle dropped from the pack to lovingly fondle and embrace a Caterpillar bulldozer. We left him drooling while we kept on trail through the salubrious streets of White Rock. Many missed the drink stop which was at the top of a hill in a dead-end street – the un-trusting pressed on. Some short-cutters became “long-walkers” on the home stretch.
Couldn’t find Tackle for a while – no one checked the bulldozer on the way back! Tackle called for a run report from V.D. who didn’t make trail at all – She gave Crunchy a 10/10 to the uproar of the circle, then reduced it to 3/10 because we hadn’t tried Nosh yet. Seriously, it was a good run, well marked, good drink stop – good job for a first time Hare!
Charges from the run went to Basil Thrush for confusing Weed for Nom De Plume (it was getting dark!!), Betty Boop charged half the pack with refusing to climb the hill to the drink stop, but settled for Donna who transferred the charge to Tanx, Wait-a-While, who sent the GM up a dead end street, Supa charged Knee trembler for asking directions from Bouncer and Spock and Animal copped one for the longest short cut in Hash history.
Returnees were Nogat, V.D., and Pull Through.
Absentees Maid Marian’s got the Prick & Gwendaloo the Girlie Shorts, but the Double Donger went to Carnt, just because he said you can’t give that to me.
A late charge went to Weed for an outdated website, raffles went to Pull through and Knee Trembler.
Good run, good nosh, good night!
On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A.

1607
Twisted’s Fading Fish Hooks
It probably would have been alright – if it wasn’t for the brief shower of rain just before we started on Twisted’s trail. Her chalk marks were barely visible in the fading light, and it only got worse from there. Everyone lost trail at the 5-ways so we all headed “On Keg”. Twisted was stuck solo at her drink stop while the pack was having fun and lubricating.
Tackle called the circle to order and the run report wasn’t complimentary – no drink stop, no marks and Twisted took her down down.
In her run briefing, Twisted said she’d introduced “fish hooks” markings along the trail meant the front of the pack had to go to the back, or vice-versa, or something else entirely different!! It used to work on the Isle Of Man – might have worked for Twisted, but the rain put paid to her fish hooks – only one was sighted and Bouncer was charged for ingoring it. Two Tit Fruitti then refused to sprint to the front of the pack and Basil Thrush’s charge was reversed and all three took a down down.
Visitors and returnees included patron Sir Meatballs, Animal, No Knickers, Not Yet, Power Pole, Screw and Maid Marian.
Nogat’s loving care of the Prick Of The Week was gratefully received by Maid Marian – can’t remember why – something about being a Harriette. Screw’s new shoes made a tasty beer mug. A late charge by Sodonme went against Far Canal for bringing Wishbone. Raffles went to Sir Meatballs and Knee Trembler

Run 1600 WILL be held at Palm Cove on Saturday 29th September whether you like it or not. We’ll take over the camp ground and have a bloody good time!!! …Might even run too!
Nice Nosh for the early birds, and a good night.
Basil Thrush E.& O.A

Run 1607 or 06
200807
Tanx Terse Trail
The biggest challenge with Tanx runs is first finding his place. The successful navigators headed off on a clearly marked (spray can) trail alongside the creeks and picturesque parks of the backblocks of Bentley Park. It seemed no time and we arrived at the drink stop, then on home – 40 minutes!!!!!
In the circle, Tanx trail was praised by Crunchy Crack as being short, sweet, well marked, very good!
Returnees were Phukit, VD, Kotex joined by visitors Captain Pugwash and Sticky Date. Virgin runner was Donna.
Phukit got a second down down, it being his 300th run. Phukit also copped a charge for wearing Coco the clown’s shorts and socks.
Nogat charged with talking all night at the Nash hash meeting, Mole for having the wrong Harriettes address on the website, and Tanx for having no taillights on the drink-stop wagon.
Mole and an un-named male hasher were charged with being Internet tarts and having their picture on Saigon Hash site. Examination of the photo found a look-alike Captain Pugwash in the background so he was duly ordered to take a down-down too.
SupaStalk then spoke of a secret conspiracy afoot, and brought it to everyone’s attention that one-third of the present Hashers were wearing red shirts. All of the Red Shirters were female…..except Wait-A-While – yep, you guessed it!
Tutti & Nogat were charged with having a private meeting at Nash Hash, Kotex’s mobile phone went off, Betty Boop had the hysterics most of the circle, and Bouncer copped a charge for refusing to go to the Hariettes run because it was her birthday. Down-downs all round!
Phukit gave careful consideration about awarding the Prick Of The Week finally selecting Nogat for self-inflicted pain to get out of the run. Wait-A-While sped up awarding the double-donger. Mole copped it for roaring past Wait-A-While who was lost, and failed to help him find Tanx place. (Wait-A-While arrived long after the run started – he had to wait a while for the Hashers to return).
The raffles were a family affair – Mr. Spock and Bouncer took the wines.
Tutti asked all to note September 30th as a anti cancer run on the Esplanade – a successor to Rosie’s Run. All Cairns and Trinity Hashers to register and roll up in Hash Haberdash.
Nosh was tasty chook and chips with salad on the side. Top night and very funny.
On On
Basil Thrush E.& O.E.

Run 1606
130807
Chopper’s Champion Keg
What a night! How do you top that? Topless bar girls, keg on tap, delicious pre-nosh nibblies of chicken wings, dim sims and salad, absolutely top nosh after the rowdy circle and there was a run too!
A big roll-up of more than 30 regular Hashers, visitors, returnees and virgins took to the road from Chopper’s and immediately got lost! Trail was soon found and from then on- it was pretty good going. Tasty drink stop and On Keg.
Pre-Nosh goodies were already served when the pack returned, and we all pigged out. Then the topless bar-girls arrived and the conversations became tittilating.

In the circle, Sodonme’s run report was brief and Chopper had assistance with his down down (see pic). Charges went to Betty Boop for thinking bird-shit was a run mark, Chopper for forgetting his stereo system needed an I-pod (Jenko was substituted for Chopper), Knee Trembler for competing in the Sydney-Surf and not getting on the telly, Pro for repelling a dog attack with the animal then attacking another Hasher (dog has good taste).
Virgin was Joe from US Navy, returnees were Dead Ringer, Far Canal, General, Sodonme, Weed and Mole. Visitors were too numerous to mention. Chopper produced stocks from somewhere(What else does he keep at that house?) and miscreants were stocked and forced to drink beer with hilarious results.

Wait A While was deciding to whom to give the double donger when GM Tackle decided we’d all waited long enough and made him keep it for another week. Betty Boop brought out her tiny Prick Of The Week and frightened the cat. Chopper charged a pull-through look-alike with failing to clean his garage floor properly (another in the stocks)
Tackle brought out a colourful(?) hat (Believed souvenired from PanAsia Hash)which will become the Cairns Hash apparel and must be worn by its awardee during and after the run. Raffles went to Crunchy Crack.
A lavish nosh followed – plenty of it and great variety. (Tanx felt decidedly nervous about his upcoming Hare duties)
On On,
Basil Thrush E.& O.A.

Run 1605
060807
Tackle’s Tour of Mooroobool’s Drains
We set out from Tackle’s place heading right, before Tanx and Superstalk lost trail in 40 metres, but we soon picked it up. Check points at every intersection kept the runners and walkers together until Prostitute solicited (as Pro is wont to do) some local ATSI lads on bikes to search for arrows. We were soon back on a fast trail with the lads getting well ahead on their bikes and giving us the “On On”. Soon we were off the roads and along the drains until the drink stop (at least we all found the drink stop this week!!!!)

Back at Tackle’s we tucked into a big pot of “little boys”. Knee Trembler as acting GM called for some order. Tackle was disentangled from the barbecue long enough to get a run report from Tanx who was quite complimentary awarding a high 1.5 out of 10.

Charges came from Twisted Sister who accused Pro of soliciting on the run and Nogat with attempted abduction of two little ATSI kids who were afraid of being
“kidnapped”. (They were obviously deceived by the grandfather-like image). Supa charged Basil Thrush with taking the longest short cut in history. Wait-a-While copped a birthday charge while Pro charged Two Tit Fruitti with taking his $50 note and disappearing into the night. Down downs all round.

Returnees were Spinifex, Bobcat and Deep Throat.

The Prick Of The Week has shrunk considerably in Betty Boop’s care – cause for puzzlement! Phukit has the real Prick.

No Girlie Shorts (with Gwendaloo I think). The Double Donger was awarded with due ceremony to Wait-A-While for making $990 last Monday evening while the rest of us were toiling through Pro’s Gordonvale marathon. He got the biggest laugh of the night when he forgot which hand had the down down.

Raffles went to Deep Throat and Pro. A top barbecue nosh wrapped up an excellent Hash night.

On On,

Basil Thrush E&OA

Run 1604
Dunno what happened last time - but here they are again!!!

Notes 300707
Pro’s Marathon March
A hardy bunch of 13 thrill-seekers assembled in the shadow of the Gordonvale water tower and the smell of the mill for Hare Pro’s run. We set off and
descended along the river, around mud-puddles, through an unsuspecting farmer’s yard (listening for the opening of windows and cocking of shotguns!!),
along cane paddocks before re-entering suburbia. Can’t complain about the marks – there were plenty of them! But in keeping with Pro’s tradition – the run
was l o n g . Only 3 made it to the drink stop – that’s a lot of drink!

Back home and most – short-cutters and all- arrived back about 7.15.

Super Stalk’s run report was complimentary although he expressed disappointment that the drink stop wasn’t at the Mountain View Hotel. He praised the
inclusion of the “Spock Satellite” as part of the run. Spock & Bouncer personally launched this satellite from their City View backyard. The run was
temporarily halted while we all stargazed at the little white light passing overhead while Spock regaled all with his tall tales and true.

Supa gave the run a 2 which was upped to 2.5 by popular consensus. However, Pro must get the odometer on his 4WD checked as it is under-reading by at
least 50%. (“It’s only 3 kilometres back to the keg”, he said – the mill’s chimney was barely visible in the distance!!!!)

Charges went to TwoTit Fruitti and Bouncer who were enticed into a big 4WD by the offer of jelly babies and got a free ride to the keg. Supa charged
Wait-A-While for demanding last week for car-pooling to Gordonvale then not turning up – Wait-A-While was absent so a look-alike Tanx copped the down
down. Wait-a-While was charged again with failing to contact fellow hashers for transport and look-alike Pullthrough copped a down-down. GM Tackle then
revealed that Wait-A-While had called him for a lift but there was no room in the ute – Nogat took that charge for Wait-A-While!

The double-donger was awarded by Nom De Plume to Pro for setting such a huge run. Pullthrough was charged with losing the Prick Of The Week cap –
Nogat was the last living (?) person to see the cap.

A charge of low profiling went to Crunchy Crack from Two Tit Fruitti, and McTaf announced it was going to be his last CHHH run for 5 months and it was also
the penultimate run for Rollover.

Celebration Run 1600 will be at Palm Cove in September – we’ve commandeered the camp ground, the life saver’s rooms and the tavern. Don’t ask for a
date yet – it could be for the whole month!!!!!!
Raffles went to Tanx and Basil Thrush.

A mountain of pizzas was hungrily devoured as the night chill descended.

On On

Basil Thrush E&OA

Run number either 1605 or 1603, (depends on who you want to believe)
Notes 230707
Gwendaloo’s Challenges

Challenge 1: Find Gwendaloo’s place – 19 doesn’t exist on McFarlane Drive.
Challenge 2: Finding the trail (allegedly set by rollover on Sunday using waterproof chalk).
Challenge 3: Finding the drink stop.
Challenge 4: Convincing Rollover that chalk is NOT expensive!

The intrepid bunch headed off along McFarlane Drive to its end where arrows pointed up the hill. Two more arrows over the 2 kilometre climb and we came to a circle saying false trail and an arrow pointing downhill. Below it was painted “ur silly c--ts” Even hardened Hashers thought that was a bit much!

Now you wouldn’t set a 2 km false trail would you??????? Oh yes, you would!!!
The disbelieving Hashers meandered aimlessly about the top of the hill searching vainly for a trail- an arrow- a drink stop - anything!!!
Finally in frustration we headed back to the keg – GM Tackle left waiting vainly at the drink stop.
In the circle no run report was called for and Rollover and Gwendaloo took their down-downs.
Charges from the run were plentiful. Weed queried whether Rollover knew the meaning of the word “abundance” when she described the arrows in her briefing.
Super Stalk charged Rollover with Hash creativity in her false trail circle. Twisted charged the Hare as it’s the fifth time a drink stop has been missed. Chopper charged VD for asking him to check out a dog on the run.
G wendaloo was again charged with no hash attire (even though she was given some weeks ago). VD charged Chopper and Knee Trembler for keeping an eye out for a dog.

Returnees were Ring Picker, Prik Dokta, V.D., Chopper, Fiddler, Carnt, That Much, Wrong Way and Nogat. That didn’t leave many to sign the down down song!

Weed called a general meeting to order to vote on making CHHH a body under rule 6.- Carried unanimously.
Raffles went to Nogat and Fiddler. Ringpicker then led the pre-nosh hymn.
Nosh was superb – 10 out of 10.
On On,
Basil Thrush.

Run 1604
160707
Phuket’s Run - Trinity Beach ( not at Kewarra Beach !!)

Run Nr. 1602, 16th July 07
Welcome to the “Alzheimer Hash”

Instead of having a good time with my double donger (softened for me by Twisted Sister as I remember him/it being stiffer) I am hard pressed to find words of gratitude, for being allowed to write the notes that our Basil Trush is obviously not capable of doing (advanced to “chief announcer”)

The run went past the drink stop to the keg. (Nothing unusual about that)…
Run review by Mc Taf – mind you he and Betty Boob did not arrive at Phuket’s place until about 6.20 pm and so neither of them actually went on the run ! He did mention that the run must have been set by a drunken sailor as the arrows were at alternate sides of the road.

Unfortunately, being a part of the geriatric HHH (Mc Taf refers to it as Alzheimer Club) I took mental notes …. and now I can’t find them

I only remember, that

Gwendaloo had several down down’s for frivolous charges
- “Warte – noch – ein - Weilchen” and Phukit thought they looked good in white shorts (in Wintertime) and got dually charged
Super Schtorch was thrilled to receive the Girlie shorts
the black prick was handed to Phukit mainly because of his “drunken “ run marking
- seldom seen SODOMY made a miraculous appearance, so did My-shit (Mashit ed notes)
visiting virgin David a student from Germany seemed most bewildered with all the nonsense (no wonder)

Raffle: Weed scored a bottle of red (actually undeserved after challenging me several times) and the second bottle of plonk hit Super Schtorch

Weed (again) reminded us that a short meeting will be held next Monday regarding our status as an Inc. Group.

Nosh was plentiful and tasty - thanks to Handbrake

Having stretched my writing ability to the limit, you will be kind enough not to nominate me ever again

ON ON

Nom de Plume